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Comments 14

thefreshchuff August 23 2010, 04:02:54 UTC
Oh, wow. This was really, really well-written. In character, some beautiful imagery, and very hot to boot. I love your Alex voice, it was dead-on!

And just like that, the invisible dam between them-the one they’ve never talked about, never even acknowledged, but been acutely aware of since they were old enough to stop taking baths together-quietly and irrevocably bursts.

This was my favorite sentence. Gave me chills. :)

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save_vs_magic August 24 2010, 02:49:51 UTC
Woo, thank you! A big part of the reason this ran as crazy long as it did is because I find Alex so ridiculously fun to write for, I think because I'm such a Justin at heart. It's fun getting inside her head and seeing how the other half lives. XD

The funny thing? That line was only added once I realized I was going to have to break up the lair scene into two parts, because it was too big to fit into one post. It was a total, spur-of-the-moment addition to tie off part iii, and I wasn't entirely sure it worked. So thanks for the reassurance! :)

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rachelbranda August 23 2010, 04:48:13 UTC
wow

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save_vs_magic August 24 2010, 02:50:33 UTC
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!

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fictionalfemme August 23 2010, 05:41:28 UTC
Thank you, thank you, thank you! Whew that was hot.

Heh, I was going to say 'Can I have your internet babies?' but, when I thought about it, I think this story counts as one? (Me, humble seed/idea. You, creating and birthing this.) So I'm just going to beam and say that we make awesome internet babies.

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save_vs_magic August 24 2010, 02:55:03 UTC
D'awwww, look what you did. Now I'm all blushing and stuff...

Seriously, thank YOU for the awesome plot bunny! It never would have occurred to me to write this otherwise, but I'm really happy with how it turned out and I'm so thrilled that you enjoyed it!

I'm working on something else right now, but I fully intend to circle back and fill out some of your other prompts. (Alex spying on Justin working out? Um, HOT!) So, more internet babies, YAY! ;)

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sullyvann August 24 2010, 04:15:56 UTC
GUH!

amazing.

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daggeradrielle August 24 2010, 05:49:34 UTC
There are no words...Ok, maybe: Smart, Sensual, Witty, and RAWR!!

This was so amazingly well written, not just the smut itself, but the character exchanges, nods to other Jalex moments, and Alex's internal monologue! Wow, it's like you live in her head, seriously. It went beyond a lemony fic into one of those reads straight out of the romance novels Alex kept mentioning (but like 1 kabillion times better).

On another note, and only because I believe in constructive criticism (so please don't take it the wrong way), I could've lived without Dean and (especially) Mason being mentioned while they were doing the deed itself. It just kinda kills the imagery. But I do love how Justin is a stallion compared to those two! ;)

Oh, and my compliments on how you wrote the physical examination portion of the story. Accurate, simplified, and sexy as all hell! Soooo looking forward to future stories, rock on!

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fictionalfemme August 24 2010, 16:54:42 UTC
I'm going to disagree on the whole Dean and Mason thing. I kinda liked it in that it highlighted how different Justin is from them. Your mileage obviously varies.

However, to add to the constructive crit a bit, when reading through the second time, I noticed that there are one or two spelling errors, and several missing words that my brain automatically filled in last time. If you have the chance, SvsM, could you possibly go back and edit? Or, I could proof for you, if you sent me a hard copy @ wildoneizzy @ yahoo . com

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wolfy102 September 11 2010, 02:33:10 UTC
Hot fic there.
But something really bugging me, there's no way Mason has bigger dick than Justin, lol, Justin is Italian, you know what they say about that.

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save_vs_magic September 11 2010, 02:58:53 UTC
Heh, thanks. Glad you liked it.

OK, I'll grant you that Human!Mason probably isn't packing more than Justin. Wolf!Mason, though? Hung like a Great Dane.

(And this is way, way more thought than I ever imagined I'd devote to what Disney Channel stars are working with downstairs, so I think I'mma stop now. XD)

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