Naruto ficbit.
Partly because of the book I was reading yesterday. Mostly because I'm going to hell anyway.
Tsunade stode into the bookstore like a fashionably late arrival to a high society party. Shizune, tugging at her sleeve, trailed after.
"Tsunade-sama, it's entirely possible that this is a *really* bad idea..."
The former Godaime gave her a confident grin. "Don't worry! I know what I'm doing. Besides, my horoscope said I should take risks today."
With a start, the bookstore's proprietor straightened up from the counter behind which he had been falling alseep. "Tsunade-sama! Welcome to our humble establishment. What can I do for you?"
"I'm here for the betting pool."
Under Tsunade's eyes, the man wilted considerably. "I-I have no idea what you're talking abou-"
Tsunade sighed. "Hatake Kakashi told me I could bet here. If he was *wrong,* I'll take my business somwhere else. Yours isn't the only racket in town."
Quick as a wink, the man reached under the counter and pulled out a whiteboard.
'Rokudaime-sama's First Time Odds Board. Minimum Bet 500¥.'
Shizune's eyes scanned the board. "Uchiha Sasuke's leading," she commented with some interest. "I would have thought Hinata..."
"The Hyuuga cousins have been neck and neck for a few weeks now," the bookkeeper explained. "On the one hand, Rokudaime-sama and Hyuuga Hinata were spotted having lunch together at Ichiraku by a reliable source. On the other hand, when he caught the flu, Hyuuga Neji spent two hours a day making sick visits."
Tsunade nodded. "That sounds about right. So Konohamaru's the dark horse? What about Gaara?"
His face turned pale. "Gaara of the Desert? He's... the, uh, dark dark horse."
"Let me guess. Nobody thinks he knows what sex is. That's it, right?" A smile spread across Tsunade's face.
Shizune looked somewhat horrified. "Tsunade-sama, *please* don't... remember last time? You lost your... they had to call ANBU... think about this! They're right! He probably *doesn't!*"
"Fine," replied Tsunade, heaving a long-suffering sigh. She pulled out her purse. "10, 000 on Sakura, then. She's got a 2.5 payout, and I think Ganma-Bunta has money on her. Is that safe enough?"
Shizune nodded. "Thank you," she said emphatically. "That's plenty safe."
*TWO WEEKS LATER*
"Tsunade-sama! Have you heard the news?"
"Obviously not."
"Naruto-sama and Gaara of the Desert are-"
...
"OH, FUCK THIS."
***
Yamanaka Ino shoved a pile of money down her bra and grinned. Sometimes, Shintenshin no Jutsu could be just *awesome.*
(I still want to write a fic where Gaara has to marry Naruto to get Konohagakure citizenship. Shut up.)
Tsunade stode into the bookstore like a fashionably late arrival to a high society party. Shizune, tugging at her sleeve, trailed after.
"Tsunade-sama, it's entirely possible that this is a *really* bad idea..."
The former Godaime gave her a confident grin. "Don't worry! I know what I'm doing. Besides, my horoscope said I should take risks today."
With a start, the bookstore's proprietor straightened up from the counter behind which he had been falling alseep. "Tsunade-sama! Welcome to our humble establishment. What can I do for you?"
"I'm here for the betting pool."
Under Tsunade's eyes, the man wilted considerably. "I-I have no idea what you're talking abou-"
Tsunade sighed. "Hatake Kakashi told me I could bet here. If he was *wrong,* I'll take my business somwhere else. Yours isn't the only racket in town."
Quick as a wink, the man reached under the counter and pulled out a whiteboard.
'Rokudaime-sama's First Time Odds Board. Minimum Bet 500¥.'
Shizune's eyes scanned the board. "Uchiha Sasuke's leading," she commented with some interest. "I would have thought Hinata..."
"The Hyuuga cousins have been neck and neck for a few weeks now," the bookkeeper explained. "On the one hand, Rokudaime-sama and Hyuuga Hinata were spotted having lunch together at Ichiraku by a reliable source. On the other hand, when he caught the flu, Hyuuga Neji spent two hours a day making sick visits."
Tsunade nodded. "That sounds about right. So Konohamaru's the dark horse? What about Gaara?"
His face turned pale. "Gaara of the Desert? He's... the, uh, dark dark horse."
"Let me guess. Nobody thinks he knows what sex is. That's it, right?" A smile spread across Tsunade's face.
Shizune looked somewhat horrified. "Tsunade-sama, *please* don't... remember last time? You lost your... they had to call ANBU... think about this! They're right! He probably *doesn't!*"
"Fine," replied Tsunade, heaving a long-suffering sigh. She pulled out her purse. "10, 000 on Sakura, then. She's got a 2.5 payout, and I think Ganma-Bunta has money on her. Is that safe enough?"
Shizune nodded. "Thank you," she said emphatically. "That's plenty safe."
*TWO WEEKS LATER*
"Tsunade-sama! Have you heard the news?"
"Obviously not."
"Naruto-sama and Gaara of the Desert are-"
...
"OH, FUCK THIS."
***
Yamanaka Ino shoved a pile of money down her bra and grinned. Sometimes, Shintenshin no Jutsu could be just *awesome.*
(I still want to write a fic where Gaara has to marry Naruto to get Konohagakure citizenship. Shut up.)