brigits_flame = Arrival

[saturnangel587]

Comments

[kayden_eidyak]

Haha! This was a hoot, I loved it! The stage manager was awesome!

[saturnangel587]

Thanks! :D

[blythe025]

I was drawn in by the tone at the beginning and kept reading for all the odd characters backstage. I really enjoyed it.

Though I think I should point out that there seems to be a tone shift part way through. The story seems to start with a 3rd person omniscient, Imagine this theater tone, in which no one person seems more important than the next, and then narrows down to Claudio. This is neither good nor bad, merely an observation.

[saturnangel587]

I think that might come from all the movies I've watched, wherein it starts out rather general and then focuses onto one person. XD I've noticed on my own that it does occur in some other stories, too, whether I consciously intend it or not. (Although, if I try to consciously pull it off, it usually comes off feeling forced.) I like how it helps establish a setting in which there is already a bit of commotion going on.

I'm sure we'll see more of Jamie in drag eventually, though. :3

[vyvyan_wilde]

Excellent! The descriptions of each character were perfect, and I felt like I understood the personalities each even though some only appeared briefly.
Jamie in particular was interesting to read, and funny. I like the way he changed from himself into Madame Butterfly in this beautiful line, "He fully becomes the character, becomes female instead of female’s parody."

I could really identify with Claudio's nervousness. I found your descriptions of his feelings genuine and realistic, because I've felt exactly as he did when I'm getting ready to perform or do some public speaking. Poor guy :( I hope he ended up doing well.

[saturnangel587]

I like to think Claudio knocked it out of the park. :D It's sort of how I feel, too, when doing the monthly open mic nights here on campus.

That you touched on the part about Jamie/Madame Butterfly makes me glad; I wasn't too sure how well the crossover from using male pronouns to female ones would go, which is where that particular line originated from, as a means of making a smoother transition. (And there will surely be more written about him. There are a few stories here, if you're interested.)

[rephen]

I really enjoyed that, I chuckled at parts and I awed at your ease of prose at other parts. Just brilliant. Claudio's lines were awesome! Actually, all the characters really came popping out in their glorious individual quirkiness from my screen. Gorgeous character works, here.

PS. The ass-bare comment really cracked me up. It was a very strong and funny moment, there. The imagery!

[saturnangel587]

Thanks!

It was a little weird, having Claudio be mostly quiet. Usually he likes to talk quite a bit! XD But I'm glad that his quietness and the rest of the story definitely worked out the way I wanted. :D

[quill_quirks]

Great Read.:)

[saturnangel587]

Thanks. :D