Comments | sasusc: Melody

sasusc

Melody

Jun 23, 2008 15:10

Title: Melody
Author: sasusc
Characters: Serenity
Prompt: Song
Challenge: firefly100
Word Count: 100
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, just a lowly fan with ideas.

( The sound of the engines... )

drabble, firefly, fanfiction, melody

Comments 11

wildannuette June 23 2008, 19:25:24 UTC

Very nice drabble, Intense description makes it very riveting. Perfect.

sasusc June 24 2008, 03:28:52 UTC

Thanks!

januaried June 23 2008, 20:26:53 UTC

Love it! Makes you wonder who can hear it (undoubtedly River, at least)....

sasusc June 24 2008, 03:30:38 UTC

Thanks! Yes, I'm sure River can hear Serenity's music. ^_^

bookaddict43 June 23 2008, 22:54:38 UTC

I like this look at Serenity and the music she produces. What a lovely word picture! :D

sasusc June 24 2008, 03:31:04 UTC

Thank you!

open_embrace June 23 2008, 23:33:17 UTC

i agree with bookaddict43 :) and I like that the only character is Serenity herself.

only crit is simply that you used the word "hum" three times within the first two sentences... i like the first use, but the other two could be substituted for a wide range of other (creative and interesting!) words if you felt right about changing them...

and yeah, I want to know who is listening... I bet Kaylee would, and Mal, most likely.. I almost get the picture of Mr Creepy Guy from Objects In Space, listening to the ship as he creeps around hurting people :( but then, he wouldnt care so much about the way Serenity sounded, so long as she wasnt changing course or anything obvious like that....

sasusc June 24 2008, 03:50:57 UTC

Thanks! I briefly thought to include another character (mostly River listening to the music), but I really liked the idea that it was only Serenity.

I tried to keep the "hum" count down, I really did.

Oh, I can so see Kaylee sitting in her hammock and listening to Serenity. I never thought about Mal, but I can picture him listening to her late at night. And lol over the what's-his-name in OiS. I only thought about River listening to Serenity. I know for sure that Simon doesn't hear it. ^_^

open_embrace June 24 2008, 04:39:08 UTC

see, this is what i love about this kind of drabble - people can read it differently, depending on their veiws of the characters and their favourite ships etc (no pun intended!)

[edited, because i think i might turn part of this response into a drabble :P if i dont, i'll put it back here]

sasusc June 24 2008, 18:03:41 UTC

lol! Yes, drabbles can be fun like that. ^_^

theneis July 15 2010, 07:29:56 UTC

I love it! Wonderfully descriptive.