Fic: Western Lovers: Cowboys and Geologists (19/33)
Title: Western Lovers: Cowboys and Geologists
Author:sassywitch
Beta by the talented celtprincess13
Pairing: CP/SB
Rating: NC-17 for the series.
Summary: Craig is bitter and broken, can the Sean soften both their edges enough for a good fit?
Feedback: Feedback is love
Disclaimer: Not at all true in reality. These men whilst adorable and perfectly happy to slash themselves, their actual relationship is something that they only know. This story is loosely adapted from a series of books that I adored when I was younger written by Elizabeth Lowell.
Word Count: 1074
Notes: Sorry this chapter has taken so long, I’ve been really busy, which is no excuse, but thank you all for waiting. This chapter was really blocking me, but you’ll be happy to know that all the other chapters are already written so if you all like I can go back to weekly posting? And since it’s been so long, it would probably be a good idea (the chapter will make more sense if you give chapters 17 & 18 a quick re-read.
Previous Stories: Can be found at Western Lovers: Cowboys and Archeaologistsand Western Lovers: Cowboys and Biologists
Previous Chapters:
1| 2| 3| 4| 5| 6| 7| 8| 9| 10| 11| 12| 13| 14| 15| 16| 17| 18|
Craig watched Sean carefully as he stood and made his way to the kitchen door silently. When Sean’s fingers closed around the doorknob, a strangled breath burst from Craig’s lips.
“This is it?” Craig asked softly.
“No.” Sean stated, “I’ll be back, Soldier Boy. I wouldn’t leave you like that. But I have to look out for me too.”
“I never meant to hurt you, Sean.” His voice was little more than a whisper but in the strained silence of the dining room, it was as loud as a gunshot.
“You haven’t hurt me, Soldier Boy, I just need to give us both some space.” Sean spoke softly, his eyes searching Craig’s face carefully; there was so much more he wanted to explain, but opening that can of worms would only lead to hurt, for both of them.
“I don’t fucking want space. I want you.” Craig cursed, blind to the tension in Sean’s voice, as he lurched to his feet with the clumsiness of a newborn.
“I know that.” Sean sighed with tolerant exasperation as he stood and backed out of Craig’s path, “I’ve always known that.”
“Then why the fuck are you leaving me?” His voice was filled with his confusion and anger.
“Because I want,” Sean paused and cussed under his breath. “No, because I NEED you to need me the way I need you. Not just because I’m the only one who will put up with your shit, or because I’m the only one who is convenient.” He shrugged fatalistically. So much more begged to be purged but without hurting the smaller man they wouldn’t be spoken, Sean wouldn’t hurt him.
“So, what? You’re punishing me?” Craig whispered, as he sank back into the chair, his gnarled fingers threaded shakily through his hair, his eyes downcast as he looked at the table, waiting for Sean’s answer, his own anger building with every second that ticked past.
“No.” Sean responded quickly, “I’m punishing me, but I don’t expect you to understand that. Just let me go, Craig. I’ll be back and then we can work on making things work.” Sean’s temper was starting to simmer and he glanced almost desperately at the door needing to escape before this became something irreparable.
“Because they sure as fuck aren’t working now are they?” Craig spat as he turned in his seat, presenting his back to Sean. His voice was flat as he continued. “Is this what you do? Make people want you, then fuck off?”
“I’m going to leave, now, before one of us says something we regret.” Sean replied, the edge of anger biting into his words, his teeth clenched against the words he wanted to say.
“Why worry?” Craig shrugged, “We both know this won’t work, if you’re going to run away now, why even start it?”
“Soldier Boy?” Sean murmured as he moved to kneel at Craig’s feet, “Don’t do this now. This won’t end the way you want it to, and it won’t end prettily, either.”
“Why not now?” Craig growled as he pushed away from Sean, rising awkwardly to his feet and stumbling gracelessly across the room, before turning to face Sean again. “This is my fault, isn’t it? I should have let you fuck me that first night I came back and this would all be done.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Sean rose and pushed his fingers angrily through his shaggy hair. “Don’t do this now, Craig. Just let me go and we can sort this out later. Now is not the time to do this.”
“Why not? Why do you have to be the fucking good one all the time? Why can’t you forget about this,” Craig waved his hand towards his legs, “and do what you really want? Why when I push do you back away? Why won’t you fight with me?”
“Is that what this is about?” Sean stalked across the room, his voice ominously low. He only stopped when he was inches from Craig. Sean’s entire body trembled with barely contained rage, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. “You want to fight with me?” He reached up to push his fist against Craig’s shoulder. “You want to tell me what a bastard I am? Or maybe you want me to tell you that I should use you like every other lover you’ve had? Is that what you want? Or is this all because you’ve decided that you’re frustrated enough to seek someone out and you’ve decided I’m the lucky one?” He paused, barely able to stop himself now that he had started the flooding torrent of angry words oozing from the festering wound that was their relationship. “How about you tell me what you want from me, because I’m sick and fucking tired of trying to give you what you want.”
“I’m sick and tired of you being so goddamned nice all the time.” Craig yelled into Sean’s face, “You’re so fucking understanding. I can’t stand it anymore.”
“Because, you self-absorbed little shit, YOU need a friend. You’ve pushed your family away. You’ve forgotten your friends. You have no one except your pitiful little existence rotting away in your bedroom, because you’re too busy having a pity party. And all you think I want you for is a fuck? Let me tell you, Sunshine, you’re not THAT good.”
As the sound of his voice faded, Sean saw the stricken look Craig tried to hide and immediately hated every one of his angry words. Drawing a deep, shuddering breath, he cursed sharply under his breath and turned on his heel, stalking from the room, and slamming the door behind him.
His booted feet kicked up clouds of dust as he stomped towards his truck. His hands visibly shook as he grasped the door handle. Swinging the door of the battered vehicle open so hard its body rocked, he lifted himself into the driver’s seat and sat for a moment trying to regain his composure.
Folding his arms across the top of the steering wheel, Sean exhaled a long ragged breath and let his head loll forward onto his arms. He hadn’t meant to say any of the hurtful things that he had thrown at the broken young man, but he couldn’t help himself. Craig pushed and pushed him until he had lashed out like a cornered animal, and he had lacked the self restraint to withhold his own temper.