FIC: Lost Without You (3/19)
Title: Lost Without You (3/19)
Author: sassywitch
Beta hisniblets
Pairing: OB/BB, mentions of BB/DM
Rating: NC-17 for the series, R for this chapter (language).
Summary: Orlando receives some devastating news and does his best to deal with it
Feedback: Feedback is my writers crack, which is not to be confused at all with plumbers crack.
Authors Notes: In this AU, Dom is less than the ditzy caring man we’ve all come to know through fic. If that has the potential to upset you please don’t go any further. In fact, in this chapter he could be considered to be a cruel, heartless bastard. Just a heads up.
Today you get a bonus chapter, because I’m feeling generous. Honestly, I’m working all weekend and not sure I’ll get a chance to post on time so I’m posting early rather than late. I didn’t think you’d mind.
Disclaimer: Not at all true in reality. These men whilst adorable and perfectly happy to slash themselves, their actual relationship is something that only they know.
Word Count: 2143
Posted to: fellow_shippers, sassyfic
Thankfully for Orlando the drive to Dominic’s modest LA home was short. His mind was barely focused enough to go as far as he did without colliding with something. Back in the days when the fellowship was still as close as brothers those that had chosen to live in Los Angeles had purchased homes close to each other maintaining their uncanny kinship.
Parking at the front of the house, he unfolded his long body from the car and walked up the pathway to the front door. Rapping sharply on the thick wooden fixture, he turned to pace, burning off the excess jittery energy that was making him nervous. He knew that he was not completely sure how he would handle the delivery of the news he was about to give Dominic, but Orlando also knew that he wanted to be the one to break the news. To watch the realization of what Dominic had pissed away dawning in his adversary’s eyes. If the stakes weren’t so high he would take gleeful pleasure in that knowledge, but knowing that ultimately they had both lost made that victory hollow.
“Orlando.” Dom spoke as he opened the door, his obviously hastily donned sweat pants hung loosely from his hips as he pulled a worn tee shirt over his head. “I’m kind of busy.”
“Too bad.” Orlando replied. “I need to come in.” He tried to push his way past the smaller man but Dom blocked the gap with his body.
“Bollocks you do.” Dom answered quickly. “I’m entertaining and frankly you’re not invited. Three’s a fucking crowd.” He glanced back inside slyly, his face twisted into a smirk, “though she might like that. I must remember to ask.”
“For fuck’s sake, Dom. He’s not even cold, and already you’re cheating on him?”
“Cheating on who?” Dom frowned, his face filled with confusion at Orlando’s words and attitude.
“Don’t, Dom.” Orlando shook his head in disgust, then expelled a weary sigh, brushing a trembling hand over his face as he struggled to maintain his own composure. “Just don’t alright.”
Dom stepped out of the house and pulled the door almost closed behind him. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about Orlando.” Dom watched him closely, eyes narrowing suspiciously as he watched Orlando’s teary eyes. “If this is another one of your attempts to get us back together you can fuck off.”
“I’m talking about the fact that you and your self absorbed, greedy, righteous attitude have ruined my life.” Orlando growled, swallowing back the tears that once again threatened to choke him as he thought about his Billy.
Realization finally dawned on Dom’s face and the beginnings of a huge grin split his face as he prodded Orlando in the shoulder with a long elegant finger. “This is all about you and your crush on Billy isn’t it?”
“I don’t have a crush on him.” Orlando ground out tightly, his lips pressed together into a thin line, every muscle in his body tensing as Dom poked his shoulder relentlessly, taking some sort of macabre pleasure in Orlando’s obvious pain.
“Mm-hmm, I forgot you’re nobler than a crush aren’t you. You fancy that you’re in love with him, isn’t that right.” Dom spoke, unable to contain the glee in his voice as he did.
“Well, somebody fucking should be.” Orlando spat.
“Tell me, Elfboy.” Dom continued, the name that seemed an endearment from the rest of the fellowship somehow from Dom’s lips was condescending and demeaning. “How noble is it to be pining for someone who’s in love with someone else? Is it noble because you haven’t told him or just because the silly, bloody wanker hasn’t noticed the way you look at him?”
Orlando wasn’t sure what part angered him the most, but at Dom’s words, his temper finally overruled the pain in his heart and he surged forward, his fingers tangling in the front of Dom’s tee shirt, slamming Dom into the cool tiles of the wall behind him.
“Don’t you fucking talk about him like that.” Orlando grimaced as his voice cracked with his grief. “He loved you beyond all reason, because even he could see what an asshole you are, but still he loved you, desperately, completely, totally. I never told him how I felt because of how he felt about you and now it’s too fucking late.” Orlando shoved him against the wall with every statement.
“Too late for what?” Dom frowned. “He always comes back to me when I call him. Always. Why would this time be any different to the last ten years.”
“Because you selfish bastard, he’s dead. Don’t you fucking get it? He died thinking that you don’t love him. That he was fucking alone in the world because you want to hide your dirty little secret. You bastard, he died unhappy and alone because of you.” Orlando released his hold on Dom’s shirt and shoved him back into the wall as he turned to stalk away, hoping a little distance would put his anger into perspective. His fists clenched and unclenched at his sides as he fought against his own emotions.
“He’s what?” Dom murmured as if hearing Orlando for the first time. “That’s not funny, Orlando. I don’t believe you.”
“He’s dead, Dom.” Orlando sighed, no matter how much he hated the way Dom treated Billy, he hadn’t meant to tell him this way. He wasn’t sure how he had, but this wasn’t it. “Chopper crash, news hasn’t been released yet, but Sam’s on the set. She thought we’d want to know before we see it on E News.”
“He’s gone?” Dom spoke, his mind grasping the information that Orlando presented and disseminated it slowly.
“I’m sorry, Dom.” Orlando turned to face Dom, wanting to hate him for the way he treated Billy, but still needing to comfort him. Nobody, not even Dom deserved to deal with the pain of losing a long term lover alone.
“Is that all, Orlando? Because I don’t fucking believe you.” Dom replied calmly, standing straighter and stepping away from the wall, clearly discounting Orlando’s words.
“That’s it?” Orlando’s anger flared brighter than ever. “Your lover of almost ten years is dead and you’re just going to go back to fucking HER? Can’t you even give him a few minutes of your precious time. Or are you going to save the tears and emotion for when the press interview you about your ‘best’ friend.” Orlando ranted at him angrily.
“How I deal is none of your fucking business.” Dom stated coldly, “Now fuck off and leave me alone.”
“You’re such a bastard. You cold heartless prick.” Orlando’s accent thickened broadly as he clenched and unclenched his fists angrily. “You never deserved him. NEVER. He could have done so much better than you.”
“What? You?” Dom snorted. “You’ve got to be kidding. We were good together, Elfboy. Did he tell you that? How he would beg me to fuck him? How good it felt when I did? You wouldn’t give him what I did. Oh, I forgot you’re far too noble to fuck him without love aren’t you. You’ll just pine away like the pansy asshole you are. Just because you think you love him you think you would have been better for him? Or maybe you’re not as noble as you’d like to think, maybe it’s just that it would have been better for you.”
Orlando didn’t think. He couldn’t, the white-hot flare of anger that burned through him at Dom’s words ignited and he lashed out rashly. One long arm drew back, fist clenched so tightly his knuckles whitened and slammed into Dom’s face. The gratifying crunch of bone against bone hung between them as Dom’s head rocked back with the force of the blow, his skull impacting on the tiled wall.
“What the fuck was that for?” Dom grimaced as he touched the small trickle of blood that oozed from his lip, as Orlando recoiled in horror at his automatic action.
“Don’t you even care? Billy’s dead and all you can worry about is who would be the better fuck? Jesus, you deserve her.” Orlando waved one hand wildly at the almost closed door. “The two of you will be perfect together. I hope you get all the publicity you deserve. Don’t bother fucking talking to me again Dominic, I no longer want anything to do with you.”
Orlando turned and walked down the pathway to his car. Flinging the door open he climbed in and slammed the door after him. Folding his arms across the steering wheel, his fingertips rubbed against the tender spot on his knuckles. He fought to calm himself, but his anger was bubbling too close to the surface to let his heart rate slow and his temper ebb away. Resting his head against his arms, he breathed deeply struggling to use his meditation techniques to relax enough to drive away. He hadn’t meant to fight with Dom, but he couldn’t help it, his own heart was breaking and Dom didn’t even seem to care that his Billy was gone. Forever.
A knock on the window beside him roused him from the black hole of misery he was slowly sinking into.
“Were you telling the truth, Orlando?” Dom asked quietly.
“Why would I fucking lie about that, Dom?” Orlando growled, completely oblivious to Dom’s contrite expression.
“I don’t know? You’ve exaggerated before to get us back together.” Dom shrugged his shoulders resignedly. “Do you want to come inside and I’ll call you a cab, you’re…. you shouldn’t drive.”
Orlando shook his head quickly, sliding out of the car and slamming the door, almost smugly content as Dom backed away from him. “You know what? Appeasing your own guilt won’t help. I know he loved you and not me. I know that. But if you had at least pretended to love him back I’d be the first to tell you to be happy, but you didn’t. You treated him no better than a cheap whore. When you got an itch he was always there to scratch it for you, no matter what the cost to him, you selfish bastard.” Orlando drew in a deep breath and fought the lump of tears choking him. “Just forget it Dom. Forget it. Consider yourself told. I thought you should know, and stupidly I thought telling you in person would be the ‘right’ thing to do. I knew you wouldn’t fucking care. Now, I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be anywhere near you. You disgust me, you didn’t deserve a minute with him let alone the love he gave you without reserve.”
“You can’t say that, you don’t know that’s true, Orli.” Dom said softly, “We were good together and in the beginning we were both happy. I know he wasn’t now, but I can’t help that.”
“You could have. He didn’t need to die thinking he was alone. You don’t think he didn’t tell me? Every single time you screwed him over you bastard, I had to hold him together. Sometimes I had to put him back together. Was that part of the thrill for you, being able to so completely break such a strong, vital man just because you could. How do you think I felt, time and again, watching him while he was trolleyed because he could only forget his pain in booze. Or maybe it was when he was trying to understand what the fuck he had done to push you away. You deliberately set out to hurt him, just to get your own rocks off, deep down I think he knew that but he couldn’t understand why. I can, you’re a smug selfish prat who gets every single thing you fucking want.”
“Did you tell him that?” Dom’s eyes narrowed.
“No fucking way. He loved you, For better or for worse I wasn’t going to sledge the man he loved no matter how much I hate you. I wasn’t going to do that to him. I’m not you.” Orlando snorted.
“I didn’t know he was going to fucking die, did I? I still don’t know he is dead, I don’t know if I can fucking believe you.” Dom cursed, running his long fingers through his disheveled hair, he walked a few paces and turned back to Orlando.
“If it is true….I’m sorry, alright.” He murmured.
“Feel better now do we?” Orlando asked flatly as he turned and slid back into the car. “Jesus Dom, you’re an asshole. I’m going to take care of him now, like you should have.” With that he started the car smoothly, then gunned the engine as he drove off, ignoring the silhouette in the rear view mirror of Dom standing on the pavement watching him, his shoulders slumped, his hands jammed deep into his pockets.
Author: sassywitch
Beta hisniblets
Pairing: OB/BB, mentions of BB/DM
Rating: NC-17 for the series, R for this chapter (language).
Summary: Orlando receives some devastating news and does his best to deal with it
Feedback: Feedback is my writers crack, which is not to be confused at all with plumbers crack.
Authors Notes: In this AU, Dom is less than the ditzy caring man we’ve all come to know through fic. If that has the potential to upset you please don’t go any further. In fact, in this chapter he could be considered to be a cruel, heartless bastard. Just a heads up.
Today you get a bonus chapter, because I’m feeling generous. Honestly, I’m working all weekend and not sure I’ll get a chance to post on time so I’m posting early rather than late. I didn’t think you’d mind.
Disclaimer: Not at all true in reality. These men whilst adorable and perfectly happy to slash themselves, their actual relationship is something that only they know.
Word Count: 2143
Posted to: fellow_shippers, sassyfic
Thankfully for Orlando the drive to Dominic’s modest LA home was short. His mind was barely focused enough to go as far as he did without colliding with something. Back in the days when the fellowship was still as close as brothers those that had chosen to live in Los Angeles had purchased homes close to each other maintaining their uncanny kinship.
Parking at the front of the house, he unfolded his long body from the car and walked up the pathway to the front door. Rapping sharply on the thick wooden fixture, he turned to pace, burning off the excess jittery energy that was making him nervous. He knew that he was not completely sure how he would handle the delivery of the news he was about to give Dominic, but Orlando also knew that he wanted to be the one to break the news. To watch the realization of what Dominic had pissed away dawning in his adversary’s eyes. If the stakes weren’t so high he would take gleeful pleasure in that knowledge, but knowing that ultimately they had both lost made that victory hollow.
“Orlando.” Dom spoke as he opened the door, his obviously hastily donned sweat pants hung loosely from his hips as he pulled a worn tee shirt over his head. “I’m kind of busy.”
“Too bad.” Orlando replied. “I need to come in.” He tried to push his way past the smaller man but Dom blocked the gap with his body.
“Bollocks you do.” Dom answered quickly. “I’m entertaining and frankly you’re not invited. Three’s a fucking crowd.” He glanced back inside slyly, his face twisted into a smirk, “though she might like that. I must remember to ask.”
“For fuck’s sake, Dom. He’s not even cold, and already you’re cheating on him?”
“Cheating on who?” Dom frowned, his face filled with confusion at Orlando’s words and attitude.
“Don’t, Dom.” Orlando shook his head in disgust, then expelled a weary sigh, brushing a trembling hand over his face as he struggled to maintain his own composure. “Just don’t alright.”
Dom stepped out of the house and pulled the door almost closed behind him. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about Orlando.” Dom watched him closely, eyes narrowing suspiciously as he watched Orlando’s teary eyes. “If this is another one of your attempts to get us back together you can fuck off.”
“I’m talking about the fact that you and your self absorbed, greedy, righteous attitude have ruined my life.” Orlando growled, swallowing back the tears that once again threatened to choke him as he thought about his Billy.
Realization finally dawned on Dom’s face and the beginnings of a huge grin split his face as he prodded Orlando in the shoulder with a long elegant finger. “This is all about you and your crush on Billy isn’t it?”
“I don’t have a crush on him.” Orlando ground out tightly, his lips pressed together into a thin line, every muscle in his body tensing as Dom poked his shoulder relentlessly, taking some sort of macabre pleasure in Orlando’s obvious pain.
“Mm-hmm, I forgot you’re nobler than a crush aren’t you. You fancy that you’re in love with him, isn’t that right.” Dom spoke, unable to contain the glee in his voice as he did.
“Well, somebody fucking should be.” Orlando spat.
“Tell me, Elfboy.” Dom continued, the name that seemed an endearment from the rest of the fellowship somehow from Dom’s lips was condescending and demeaning. “How noble is it to be pining for someone who’s in love with someone else? Is it noble because you haven’t told him or just because the silly, bloody wanker hasn’t noticed the way you look at him?”
Orlando wasn’t sure what part angered him the most, but at Dom’s words, his temper finally overruled the pain in his heart and he surged forward, his fingers tangling in the front of Dom’s tee shirt, slamming Dom into the cool tiles of the wall behind him.
“Don’t you fucking talk about him like that.” Orlando grimaced as his voice cracked with his grief. “He loved you beyond all reason, because even he could see what an asshole you are, but still he loved you, desperately, completely, totally. I never told him how I felt because of how he felt about you and now it’s too fucking late.” Orlando shoved him against the wall with every statement.
“Too late for what?” Dom frowned. “He always comes back to me when I call him. Always. Why would this time be any different to the last ten years.”
“Because you selfish bastard, he’s dead. Don’t you fucking get it? He died thinking that you don’t love him. That he was fucking alone in the world because you want to hide your dirty little secret. You bastard, he died unhappy and alone because of you.” Orlando released his hold on Dom’s shirt and shoved him back into the wall as he turned to stalk away, hoping a little distance would put his anger into perspective. His fists clenched and unclenched at his sides as he fought against his own emotions.
“He’s what?” Dom murmured as if hearing Orlando for the first time. “That’s not funny, Orlando. I don’t believe you.”
“He’s dead, Dom.” Orlando sighed, no matter how much he hated the way Dom treated Billy, he hadn’t meant to tell him this way. He wasn’t sure how he had, but this wasn’t it. “Chopper crash, news hasn’t been released yet, but Sam’s on the set. She thought we’d want to know before we see it on E News.”
“He’s gone?” Dom spoke, his mind grasping the information that Orlando presented and disseminated it slowly.
“I’m sorry, Dom.” Orlando turned to face Dom, wanting to hate him for the way he treated Billy, but still needing to comfort him. Nobody, not even Dom deserved to deal with the pain of losing a long term lover alone.
“Is that all, Orlando? Because I don’t fucking believe you.” Dom replied calmly, standing straighter and stepping away from the wall, clearly discounting Orlando’s words.
“That’s it?” Orlando’s anger flared brighter than ever. “Your lover of almost ten years is dead and you’re just going to go back to fucking HER? Can’t you even give him a few minutes of your precious time. Or are you going to save the tears and emotion for when the press interview you about your ‘best’ friend.” Orlando ranted at him angrily.
“How I deal is none of your fucking business.” Dom stated coldly, “Now fuck off and leave me alone.”
“You’re such a bastard. You cold heartless prick.” Orlando’s accent thickened broadly as he clenched and unclenched his fists angrily. “You never deserved him. NEVER. He could have done so much better than you.”
“What? You?” Dom snorted. “You’ve got to be kidding. We were good together, Elfboy. Did he tell you that? How he would beg me to fuck him? How good it felt when I did? You wouldn’t give him what I did. Oh, I forgot you’re far too noble to fuck him without love aren’t you. You’ll just pine away like the pansy asshole you are. Just because you think you love him you think you would have been better for him? Or maybe you’re not as noble as you’d like to think, maybe it’s just that it would have been better for you.”
Orlando didn’t think. He couldn’t, the white-hot flare of anger that burned through him at Dom’s words ignited and he lashed out rashly. One long arm drew back, fist clenched so tightly his knuckles whitened and slammed into Dom’s face. The gratifying crunch of bone against bone hung between them as Dom’s head rocked back with the force of the blow, his skull impacting on the tiled wall.
“What the fuck was that for?” Dom grimaced as he touched the small trickle of blood that oozed from his lip, as Orlando recoiled in horror at his automatic action.
“Don’t you even care? Billy’s dead and all you can worry about is who would be the better fuck? Jesus, you deserve her.” Orlando waved one hand wildly at the almost closed door. “The two of you will be perfect together. I hope you get all the publicity you deserve. Don’t bother fucking talking to me again Dominic, I no longer want anything to do with you.”
Orlando turned and walked down the pathway to his car. Flinging the door open he climbed in and slammed the door after him. Folding his arms across the steering wheel, his fingertips rubbed against the tender spot on his knuckles. He fought to calm himself, but his anger was bubbling too close to the surface to let his heart rate slow and his temper ebb away. Resting his head against his arms, he breathed deeply struggling to use his meditation techniques to relax enough to drive away. He hadn’t meant to fight with Dom, but he couldn’t help it, his own heart was breaking and Dom didn’t even seem to care that his Billy was gone. Forever.
A knock on the window beside him roused him from the black hole of misery he was slowly sinking into.
“Were you telling the truth, Orlando?” Dom asked quietly.
“Why would I fucking lie about that, Dom?” Orlando growled, completely oblivious to Dom’s contrite expression.
“I don’t know? You’ve exaggerated before to get us back together.” Dom shrugged his shoulders resignedly. “Do you want to come inside and I’ll call you a cab, you’re…. you shouldn’t drive.”
Orlando shook his head quickly, sliding out of the car and slamming the door, almost smugly content as Dom backed away from him. “You know what? Appeasing your own guilt won’t help. I know he loved you and not me. I know that. But if you had at least pretended to love him back I’d be the first to tell you to be happy, but you didn’t. You treated him no better than a cheap whore. When you got an itch he was always there to scratch it for you, no matter what the cost to him, you selfish bastard.” Orlando drew in a deep breath and fought the lump of tears choking him. “Just forget it Dom. Forget it. Consider yourself told. I thought you should know, and stupidly I thought telling you in person would be the ‘right’ thing to do. I knew you wouldn’t fucking care. Now, I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be anywhere near you. You disgust me, you didn’t deserve a minute with him let alone the love he gave you without reserve.”
“You can’t say that, you don’t know that’s true, Orli.” Dom said softly, “We were good together and in the beginning we were both happy. I know he wasn’t now, but I can’t help that.”
“You could have. He didn’t need to die thinking he was alone. You don’t think he didn’t tell me? Every single time you screwed him over you bastard, I had to hold him together. Sometimes I had to put him back together. Was that part of the thrill for you, being able to so completely break such a strong, vital man just because you could. How do you think I felt, time and again, watching him while he was trolleyed because he could only forget his pain in booze. Or maybe it was when he was trying to understand what the fuck he had done to push you away. You deliberately set out to hurt him, just to get your own rocks off, deep down I think he knew that but he couldn’t understand why. I can, you’re a smug selfish prat who gets every single thing you fucking want.”
“Did you tell him that?” Dom’s eyes narrowed.
“No fucking way. He loved you, For better or for worse I wasn’t going to sledge the man he loved no matter how much I hate you. I wasn’t going to do that to him. I’m not you.” Orlando snorted.
“I didn’t know he was going to fucking die, did I? I still don’t know he is dead, I don’t know if I can fucking believe you.” Dom cursed, running his long fingers through his disheveled hair, he walked a few paces and turned back to Orlando.
“If it is true….I’m sorry, alright.” He murmured.
“Feel better now do we?” Orlando asked flatly as he turned and slid back into the car. “Jesus Dom, you’re an asshole. I’m going to take care of him now, like you should have.” With that he started the car smoothly, then gunned the engine as he drove off, ignoring the silhouette in the rear view mirror of Dom standing on the pavement watching him, his shoulders slumped, his hands jammed deep into his pockets.