A Few Simple Rules for Taking Care of One's Mogwai, Jensen.
Title: A Few Simple Rules for Taking Care Of One’s Mogwai Jensen.
Word Count: 7670
Summary: When dealing with Jensen and sunlight Jared uses the rules laid down by ‘Gremlins’. Sadly the second unit director aka ‘the dick’ didn’t get the memo. A tale of Mogwai’s, blackmail and avenging nerd angels.
Rating: R.
Pairing: J2
Disclaimer: Sadly these gorgeous men are not mine, I have reached a deal with the crossroads demon, I bring him a fic he likes and I get to keep em! So with that in mind here we go again.
Notes: This started life as a response to a heatstroke/hypothermia challenge on spn_hurtcomfort , but so much time has passed it now stands alone. As always Beta’d by the wonderful bigj52 , and the images for my banner are from andreas_ri.
There were a few simple rules for the care and feeding of one’s Jensen, thought Jared. In fact, they were a lot like looking after a Mogwai. Getting Jensen wet sadly didn’t lead to multiple Jensens, which Jared thought was a shame and would have been fun in the shower. Squirting Jensen with a super soaker as he was trying to sleep, that did elicit a very passable Gremlin impersonation.
Secondly, the ‘never feeding after midnight no matter how much he begged’ Jared could get right behind that rule. Usually with a gas mask! No matter how much Misha called him Fartacus, he’d never been faced with the toxic emissions Jensen was capable of if you fed him late at night. This, sadly with their schedule was pretty much all the damn time.
Finally, and in Jared’s opinion, the most important rule of all. No bright light, especially sunlight, as it could kill him. With the show’s subject matter and how it was filmed, Jared was pretty much assured of the lack of sunlight; it just meant he had to take precautions with the lights on set. These precautions included spending lengthy amounts of time with Jensen under subdued lighting such as candles in the bedroom. Or better yet, under bedclothes to help protect Jensen’s delicate, freckled skin. He didn’t have a freckle kink, thank you. It was just being sensible, especially if you’d ever been faced with a sunburnt Jensen.
Jared shuddered at the memory of the last time it was this sunny. He and Jensen had gotten the day off and had spent it in the park with Harley and Sadie. Neither man had noticed Jensen becoming progressively redder, until they returned home. Not that covering Jensen in Aloe gel hadn’t been fun; in fact, it had been the best part of the whole ordeal as far as Jared was concerned. It was the misery of trying to sleep together later. Jared liked to wrap himself round Jensen. Who the hell wouldn’t? But after a long bruising night, where his ribs had taken the brunt of Jensen's elbow because, whenever he’d gotten close to touching him, he'd felt the heat rolling off Jensen and heard the whimpered, ’don’t touch me!’ under his breath. There had been three days of this and then Jensen had started to peel. Jared laughed and he found himself banished back to his old room, not an experience he wanted to repeat in a hurry.
As Jared contemplated these rules, he realized there was a suspicious lack of Jensen on the set. The weather gods for once had decreed a run of hot and sunny weather. Usually this caused much gloom to the ‘Supernatural’ directors as they tended to need grey and murky weather to add to the tone of the show, but at this present time it seemed to be a source of joy.
Misha stood watching his co-star with faint amusement. Jared was attempting to appear nonchalant, but he was beginning to resemble Sam more and more. The normally happy, grinning Jared was being herded into a corner by an increasingly bitch-faced Sam. Misha adjusted Castiel’s Trench coat and with a serenity that had Jared wishing for the Colt said, “Look! Is Jensen a vampire, and that’s why he works on the show? It’s only sunlight, Jared. It won’t kill him.” Jared resisted the urge to re-enact Sam versus Alistair and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. This caused one of the make-up girls to smack at his hand as she walked by.
“Sorry dude, it’s just Jensen and sun don’t play too well together.” Misha made encouraging hand gestures for Jared to continue, “You’ve never been faced with a sunburnt Jen. Damn, it’s nasty.”
Misha nodded and smiled as if he’d been given the secrets of the Universe.
“So that explains why Jensen threatened every member of the crew not to tell you where they'd gone before they went on location. Look, why don’t we go over there? We’re on a break for a couple of hours and I'm sure they’ll indulge your mother hen instincts.”
Jared relaxed and Bob Singer, the director wandered into view. He waved his hand at the two of them, calling out “For God’s sake, Misha, take him to Jensen. He’s scaring the damn bad guys.” Misha glanced over to a bunch of surly-looking men who appeared to be more than a little terrified of the glowering Sasquatch.
Jared blushed and Misha guided him to where Cliff was waiting. Clapping Jared on the shoulder, smiling, he uttered the words “Just what's the worst thing that can happen?”
~~*~~
As far as Jensen was concerned the Second Unit Director they'd been sent with was a complete dick. The scenes they were to film should've been simple enough - Dean being chased through the wilderness, after escaping from hunters who'd taken him in an attempt to force him into saying yes to Michael. With Sam and Cas trying to find him. This had led to Jensen running full tilt through the uneven countryside for most of the morning and early afternoon; he'd gotten a stitch; his clothes were sticking to him. He’d fallen over more times than he cared to count and he was starting to get a damn headache. The guy couldn't make his mind up over what angle was best so he'd shoot at least five. Well, it was starting to feel like that. Then to makes matters even better, to ensure continuity, they were filming some of what should have been the following day's scenes.
These included Dean being caught by the hunters, and then being stripped of his jacket, shirts (all fifteen of them, according to Jared), and his hands tied. So now he was being dragged by his wrists through the same damn scrub, and shit, he stumbled again, and crashed to his knees.
“Dammit! Cut!” The dick bellowed. Jensen remained on his knees, breathing hard and fuck...why was he shivering? From what appeared to be a long way away he heard whining...sorry, the voice of the director “Jensen, we only have limited time on this, so can you please stay on your feet this time?”
Jensen shook his head; the floor seemed to be moving. He took a deep breath and muttered “Suck it up, Ackles” and staggered to his feet with the help of one of the crew.
The crew member looked concerned “Jen, are you ok?” Jensen was pretty sure he should be sweating but, thank God, he seemed to have stopped. The last time he'd tried to wipe his face he’d been bitched at for ruining the shot. Since then the sweat had been steadily dripping into his eyes, now he was quite happy because it had stopped. Jensen also wondered why the shirt he was wearing felt so damn tight, especially across the shoulders.
The crew member was still holding Jensen's arms. Jensen was swaying and he looked like crap. He seemed to be having trouble focusing and he was swallowing as if he was trying not to be sick. Before he could motion for help, the director was screaming about the shot again and the hunters took up position, ready to go. Jensen roused himself and gave a smirk; it was a faint shadow of his usual smirk. He let himself be pulled free of the crew member’s grip. He turned his head and croaked out “’M fine Dave, don’ worry.”
Dave watched Jensen as he turned and jogged back towards the rest of the Second Unit. He scanned their faces, and no, it didn't seem like he was being paranoid. They all looked as worried as he felt. Once Dave reached them, he motioned to one of the PA's.
“For the love of God, call Bob. This idiot's on a power trip, plus Jensen's been out there too long. And for Christ's sake, nobody tell Jared that Jensen looks like he’s dying on his feet.”
As Dave finished speaking Cliff's SUV pulled up. Misha and Jared climbed out; Dave went white and muttered “Holy flying fuck, somebody call an ambulance! I think we're gonna need it!” The PA looked horrified “Surely Jensen isn't that bad?” Dave shook his head “No, but I think the dick's gonna need it or we will for not pulling Jensen out sooner.”
Misha walked towards the crew; he always liked to chat with them, and then he noticed their expressions. “Has someone killed the dick? Err, I mean director? Where's Jensen? Tell him his Lord and Master is here. Oh and Jared has stopped by as well.”
Misha stepped forward and looked over at the action and froze. Before Misha could react to the state Jensen was in, Jared bounced over, looking for him, saying with a laugh. “Come on, then. Has anyone seen the bow-legged wonder? The object of fangirl obsession round the world.” He took in the worried faces surrounding him then glanced in Misha’s direction, just as he started to run.
Jared's head snapped round to follow the direction Misha had taken and it was if the colour drained from his vision. It bled away to sepia tones, the only colour registering was red. Jensen was flushed, shaking; he looked as if his legs no longer had the strength to keep him upright. Jared took off, sprinting past Misha. He couldn't help the desperate cry of “Jensen” that escaped from him as he passed his co-star...
The cry caused Jensen to jerk his head up. He couldn't understand why his head felt so heavy. He was sure he'd heard Jared, but that couldn't be right, he'd left him back on set. Jensen tried to focus on the figure hurtling towards him. His vision kept darkening. Funny, he was sure he'd put his contacts in and they felt so gritty in this heat. So why was he having trouble seeing? Jensen decided to move closer so he could see more clearly. He took one shaky step forward and his knees gave out. Before he could hit the ground a pair of strong arms engulfed him. He kept falling but at a more measured pace.
Jared hugged Jensen to his chest. Shit! He was burning up, and Jensen’s skin was almost scarlet and his freckles... usually Jared encouraged Jensen's freckles with some carefully-measured sun exposure. But this looked like an explosion in a freckle factory. Jared knelt still, holding Jensen, unable to move. He vaguely heard Misha calling for the medic and then “Jared, we need to get Jensen in the shade now.” Misha was urgently shaking Jared's shoulder. When Jared didn't move right away Misha went to take Jensen out of his arms; it had the desired effect Misha wanted. Jared pushed his hand away.
“Jen, Jen, can you hear me? We need to go now. Am I going have to pick you up like a girl?” Jared had still had one arm wrapped around Jensen's shoulders, the other hand cradling his head, his thumb brushing gently along his cheek. The only moisture there were tiny droplets of sweat entangled in Jensen's long eyelashes.
The eyelashes fluttered as Jensen tried to open his eyes. “Not a girl!” he rasped out. Jared winced at how raw the voice sounded. “Jay man, have you got my contact case? My eyes are killing me.” A chill ripped through Jared. His contacts? Shit! Jensen had had Laserik surgery in the summer; this was very bad.
Jensen tried to stand but he couldn't find the strength. His head drooped and he mournfully tried to raise his hands. “Can't stand up. My hands are tied.” Jared gave a laugh that sounded more like a sob; Misha knelt down and untied Jensen, throwing the rope away as if it burnt him. Jared adjusted his grip on Jensen, slipping his one arm just below his shoulders and the other behind his knees. He took a deep breath and got to his feet, thankful of Misha's help in steadying him. Jared walked back to the crew. They had set up some shade; the medic had finally arrived and preparations were under way to take care of Jensen.
A blanket had been laid on the ground. The medic, a no-nonsense brunette called Sue beckoned them over “It's only so I can access him to see if we can reduce the amount of time he’s gonna have to spend in the hospital. Jared, lay him down here.” Jared carefully placed Jensen down on the blanket and Sue started her exam, taking his temperature, checking his pulse. “Right! Don't just damn well stand there, you idiots. Get me some towels! Soak ‘em in tepid water, and bags of ice. See if Catering has some....Now, people!”
Suddenly the area was alive with motion, most of the crew just glad to be out of the range of the Bitch Face from Hell. A bottle of water was thrust into Jared’s hand “Try and get him to drink. Slowly, mind, we want him to try and keep it down. But I ain’t holding out too much hope.” Sue gave Jared a strained smile before patting his arm.
Jared gently lifted Jensen’s head, “Come on, Jen. I need you to have a drink, and I’m sorry it’s not coffee.” With that, Jared tilted the bottle against Jensen’s lips. At first the water trickled over his chin then slowly Jensen started to drink. As the warm liquid hit his burning throat, it made Jensen gag, but it was the sweetest-tasting liquid he’d ever tasted. Jensen started to gulp greedily at the water. Finally Jared was forced to take the water away. He felt terrible but Sue was right, Jensen badly needed the fluid to stay down.
Jensen lay wondering where the water had gone. Why did he feel so dizzy? Jensen started to swallow and he managed to go pale even under the fiery red of the sunburn. Jared recognized the signs; he’d dealt with a sick Jensen before. He grabbed Jensen by the shoulders and turned him onto his side, just as the director came stomping over with a face like thunder.
“Ah! Come the fuck on! It’s only a little bit of sun. Nobody told me he was this delicate a flower.” At this, Jensen promptly threw up every meagre morsel he’d eaten or drunk that day. A stream of watery bile spewed over the director’s shoes. He pulled a disgusted face but before he could open his mouth he was elbowed out of the way by the returning crew, bringing the requested towels and bags of ice.
Jared had sat open mouthed at what the bastard had said. But before he could get up and rip his head off, he found himself at the centre of a hurricane. Bags of ice were placed under Jensen’s knees, between his thighs and under his armpits. Sue handed Jared another bag of ice “Put it behind his neck and start wiping him down with this.” At that, a soaking wet towel was thrown and Jared caught it one handed. Jared gently wiped down Jensen’s face, carrying on down his torso before starting from the top again.
While the commotion had been going on the director had walked off to one side, shooting dark looks at the two men, unaware that he was being watched. Misha stood behind Jared, his eyes narrowed, his fists gently clenching and unclenching. He’d heard what had been said and from the state of Jensen it was more than just a little sun, it looked like sunstroke.
“Where the fuck is the ambulance?” Jared’s voice was shrill with panic. Misha laid a calming hand on his shoulder and looked round. He was relieved to see the vehicle making its way towards them. The ambulance came to a halt and the EMTs emerged.
“Right, what have we got?” the first EMT asked Sue, “It’s looking like sunstroke, sunburn and dehydration. We’ve started to bring his temperature down, and we’ve tried to give him water but he’s vomited it back and he’s confused.” The EMT nodded his thanks and knelt by Jensen. He was having trouble due to Jared’s steadfast refusal to move, until Misha gently took him by the shoulders “Come on, Jay. Let them work. He knows you’re here.” With that, Misha pulled Jared back.
The EMTs worked with a quick efficiency, setting up a drip, all the while speaking quietly to Sue, checking for allergies to save time once they reached the E.R. The second EMT fetched the gurney and they prepared to load Jensen onto it.
“Jay, we need to follow the ambulance. Didn’t you tell me Jensen hates to be alone in the hospital?” Jared nodded dumbly, unable to take his eyes off Jensen, as he was loaded onto the gurney and put in the ambulance. Misha pulled him to his feet and led him towards Cliff and the waiting SUV.
“Misha, I’ll tell Bob what’s happened. We’ll shut down and follow you guys as soon as we can.” Dave called after them as Misha led the shell-shocked Jared away.
Once in the vehicle Cliff prepared to follow. Jared was shaking, his breathing rapid “What the fuck did they think they were doing? I mean, come on, it’s not rocket science. You don’t let one of your leads get fried. Shit! Did you see the state of him? I swear I’m gonna kill that dick!” Misha sat beside Jared, a picture of calm, his hands folded loosely in his lap.
“Jesus, Misha. Aren’t you mad? How the fuck can you just sit there like that?” Jared was getting louder and louder. Cliff kept a close watch on the two men through his mirror, prepared to pull over if Jared didn’t calm down.
“Jay, this is not going to help Jensen. We need to remain calm and do our best to take care of him, and I’ll even help you apply the Aloe.” Cliff stopped breathing; Jared was going to kill him slowly.
Jared’s jaw dropped. “What the fuck did you just say?” his voice getting higher. He stared at his friend and detected a faint smirk. He began to splutter and Misha turned to look at him.
“Right, now I have your attention, we’ll get to the bottom of this, I promise. But you need to concentrate on taking care of Jensen, right? And the last thing he’ll need is you being arrested for murdering someone.” Jared slumped back against the seat, his head tilted back; he let out an explosive breath.
“You’re right, Misha. I gotta calm down. Then I’ll kill the bastard once Jen’s better.”
Misha nodded, smiling, reaching over and patting his hand. “Okay. We’re here; let’s see if we can find our errant Angel Condom.”
Jared couldn’t help but laugh at that. They walked into the E.R. and started to search for Jensen. Out of one of the cubicles a doctor emerged, it was a doctor Jared knew. He ran over to the woman who seemed to be waiting for him, “Good afternoon, Jared. What have they been doing to him this time?”
Jared smiled sheepishly and decided to introduce the doctor to Misha. “Misha, this is Michelle.”
“Well, I think I should be worried if you’re on first-name terms with a doctor. Good afternoon. I’m....”
“Misha. Yes, I know. We’re all fans here. After all, this is where they usually bring the walking wounded. The staff and I have a bet that one day Jared will get here before the ambulance.”
Michelle smiled at Misha’s shocked expression, “Oh, Jared and Jensen always come to the hospital if there is an accident on set, and I’m on first-name terms with them because I’m one of the few doctors who’s not scared of Jared when he goes full Captain Caveman over Jensen.”
She motioned them onwards, grabbing a clipboard as she went past the nurses’ station. “I met the boys when Jared had to bring Jensen in with food poisoning. It was a bad take-out, wasn’t it?” Jared nodded.
“As you can imagine it was pretty ugly and Jared was growling at all the nursing staff. Finally after he reduced one of our male nurses to a snivelling wreck I went in.”
“She threatened to use me as a pin cushion if I kept it up and if I wanted Jensen to get better then I better just stand out of the way while she worked. Then she handed me a bowl and told me to look after my boyfriend.” Jared grinned at the memory.
“Then, of course, we had the return visit. Due to his blind panic Jared forgot to throw the take-out away....”
“Oh dear God! Don’t tell me he ate it!” Misha sounded awed as he looked at Jared. “I can only imagine the smell... I mean. Oh Jared! You must have been very ill.”
Michelle laughed “No, you were right the first time. It got so bad that the only person who could cope was Jensen. We had them quarantined and I was ringing Jensen with instructions. In the end even Jensen had to step outside before he passed out; we had to give him oxygen. I suppose after that, you can’t really call them Mr Padalecki and Mr Ackles.”
Misha laughed at that. Michelle stopped outside a private room. “Okay then, Jensen is suffering from sunstroke and at the moment it’s affecting him like a migraine. His vision will settle as will the nausea, once the anti-nausea drugs and pain relief I’ve administered have kicked in. We will continue to cool him down with ice packs, bathe him with cool water and rehydrate him with a drip. Once the drip has finished I’ll check him again and we’ll see if he can go home. There shouldn’t be any lasting damage, maybe a few more freckles, though. “
“Jay, I’ll wait here for a while. I want to speak to the crew and I think Jensen wouldn’t want to be crowded. Now just remember he’s in good hands.” With that Misha wandered back up to the E.R.
Michelle ushered Jared through the door. Jensen was lying on his side, curled into a foetal position. All he wore were his boxers. He was holding a bowl and looked absolutely miserable. Faint tremors ran down his limbs, and he kept shifting in vain as he tried to get comfortable. There was no relief as every time Jensen relaxed his sore body, the burning raw sensation flared across his skin and he was forced to move again.
Jared looked wide eyed at Michelle as he took in Jensen’s appearance and the drip in the back on his hand, “As I said Jared, it probably looks a lot worse than it is. Just let the medication kick in. Just help me keep him calm, and I’ll even let you bathe him with cool water.” Michelle winked at Jared, resting her hand on his arm for reassurance.
“Jay, is that you? I think you might be right about me and the sun.” With that, Jensen reached out for Jared, squinting as if he was having trouble with his eyes.
“Jay, why is Misha’s head floating behind you?” Jensen was staring past Jared. He was just about to start making calming noises to the obviously-confused Jensen when Misha spoke and nearly gave Jared a heart attack.
“Jared, some of the crew have arrived. I intend to find out exactly what happened on set.” Jared whirled round to see Misha’s head poking round the door of the room they were in. Misha gave a reassuring smile in Jensen’s direction and disappeared, reminding Jared of the Cheshire Cat. The smile seemed to be the last thing that vanished from view.
As Misha disappeared, Jared muttered “You do that, Colombo.” As he walked away, Jared swore he could hear the trench coat swish with an air of purpose.
Jared walked over to the bed, then reached out and took hold of Jensen’s hand, making small circles on the back with his thumb. His other hand slowly began to stroke Jensen’s hair. “Jay, let me go and get this damn shirt off and have a shower. It’s way too tight. Do you think I’m putting weight on? I’m gonna hafta leave the chocolate cookies from Kraft alone,” The words were slow and slurred and Jensen struggled weakly as if trying to get up. Jared rested his forehead against Jensen’s and he was shocked at the heat pouring from him.
“It’s the sunburn, Jared. He’s been lucky. Although much longer and it could’ve been as bad as first-degree burns. I’ll make sure you have all the medicated cream you need to help ease that when he’s discharged.” Michelle spoke, picking up on Jared’s distress.
“Listen, Ackles. I don’t care how much you weigh. I still think you’re gorgeous. Now just lie still for me for a while, and we can sort out another shirt.” Jared’s face carried a wistful smile as Jensen attempted to follow what was being said.
Just then, two nurses walked into the room. One was carrying several bags of ice and the other carried a large bowl of water with a couple of cloths. Michelle smiled at them, “Right then, ladies, you know the drill, back of knees groin and armpits. Oh Louise, you can leave the water here, and then can you come back and check on Mr Ackles’ temperature later. Thanks.”
Jared smiled at the look of disappointment on the nurses faces once they realized they wouldn’t be the ones helping to cool Jensen down.
Michelle handed Jared a cloth, “Right, you know what to do, just keep bathing him down. All you can do is keep him calm and wait for the meds to take effect. Don’t worry, Jared. He’ll be fine. I’m almost certain I’ll be able to discharge him later.” Michelle left him to his work.
Jared dipped the cloth in the cool water, rung it out and started to wipe Jensen down. He was slow and methodical, beginning by wiping down Jensen’s face and continuing down his body. With each slow and gentle pass, Jensen’s agitation decreased. Jared began to relax. It looked like the meds were indeed kicking in; Jensen wasn’t quite so green now. The line in between his eyebrows, the one that always gave it away when he was in pain was starting to smooth out as well.
While he worked Jared began to talk to Jensen, “You know, they have this marvellous stuff called sunscreen....” Jared lifted one arm slightly and ran the cloth down it. “It has magical properties; it stops you burning to a crisp...” Jared carefully turned Jensen onto his side, and tenderly wiped down his back, wincing as Jensen moaned in pain.
“I mean, it’s not as if you haven’t gotten sunburned before, so you know what causes it. And when you’re feeling better we are going to have a long discussion on the difference between ‘Dean’ - a fictional character... and you.” Jared eased Jensen onto his back again, and prepared to begin wiping him down once more.
“What’s the difference?” A voice that sounded as if it had been baking in the fires of Hell or Vancouver on a sunny day croaked out. Jared’s head shot up and he found himself looking into a pair of pained but amused green eyes.
Jared stood up straight; he ran the cloth over Jensen’s chest, watching a strange mix of pain and pleasure cross Jensen’s face at the sensation. He was relieved that Jensen appeared to be lucid again. “We don’t have Warner Brothers’ ointment - the one where you can beat the crap out of Dean and by next week he’s fine. Turn you into a human hamburger and it’s gonna take days...weeks before you recover.” Jared stilled his movements and looked down at Jensen, “What happened, man? I know you’re more careful than this. Surely you knew something was wrong?”
Jensen’s throat worked as if he was trying to speak, “Shit! How dumb am I?”
“Look, I’ll be back in a minute with something to drink, I promise.” Jared gently brushed Jensen’s cheek as he spoke, reassuring him he wouldn’t be long.
Jared had just reached the door when he met Michelle; she was carrying two bottles of Gatorade. “I was just bringing you something to give Jensen. The drip will help replenish his fluids but he needs to drink as well. If he can drink this and keep it down, I’ll be happier letting him go home.”
From the bed came a quiet “Gimme. I‘ll drink whatever you want me to.” With that, Jensen started to cough. He curled in on himself as the spasm wracked his body. Jared was back beside him in an instant.
“Hey, come on, slow down. Breathe, that’s it. Look, if Michelle is happy we’ll be home soon. Right, Michelle?”
The doctor stood by the bed as Jared helped Jensen to lie back down. She handed Jensen the Gatorade, “Here, drink this. It will help to replace the salts you’ve lost. While I’m here I’ll check your temp.” Michelle started to work, checking the I.V, taking Jensen’s temperature, repositioning the bags of ice. She noticed that Jensen was shifting in discomfort.
“What’s wrong, Jensen? I’m sorry about the ice but it needs to stay in place a while longer. Your temp is coming down nicely. They should also help with the bruising to your legs and reduce the swelling on your left knee.” Michelle spoke, checking Jensen carefully.
“It’s not that. I’m starting to sweat and it feels gross and it kinda stings a bit. Sorry. I’m being a wuss.” Jensen was looking miserable once more; Jared quickly picked up the cloth and started to wipe him down again.
Michelle practically beamed at this news, “I hate to say it but that is good news. It means your body’s own temperature controls are coming back online. Sorry about how it feels but it’s looking more promising for you to go home. Now be a good boy and drink up. Jensen, I have to ask what happened out there.”
“That’s what I was just asking him. We’re usually pretty careful, because, for the most part we’re the only two regulars and we can’t afford to be out of commission for long. I don’t get why you didn’t call it, Jen. Shit, the show isn’t worth this.” Jared rested his hand on top of Jensen’s.
Jensen looked uncomfortable and Jared knew it wasn’t from the sunburn, dehydration or bruising; there was something else going on here. Just as Jared was getting ready to ask what it was, there was a commotion outside the room.
“Look, I’m telling you I’m going in there. I need to know when he will be back filming.” The voice was whiny and irritated.
“I don’t fucking believe it! It’s that damn dick! What the hell is he doing here? And back filming? I’ll kill him.” Jared was all but snarling when he recognised the director’s voice. Jensen groaned quietly and let his head fall back; this was the last thing he needed.
“Jay, can you open the Gatorade, please? I can’t get a grip.” Jensen was trying to distract Jared’s homicidal tendencies. Jared opened the bottle and Jensen made a pathetic show of attempting to drink it, unable to raise the bottle to his lips. Jared slipped his hand behind Jensen’s head and helped him lift the bottle to his lips, supporting him while he drank slowly. Jensen winked at Michelle who grinned in return.
Just then the door opened and the Second Unit Director burst through, followed closely by Bob Singer. Bob came to a sharp halt, staring in horror at the sight of Jensen, “Jesus! I’m never eating lobster again. Shit! Sorry, Jensen.” Bob cringed at what he said.
Jensen smiled wryly at the comment, “You and me both, Bob, and sorry about filming. I’ll be back tomorrow.” As he spoke Jared looked ready to start arguing.
“Well, thank fuck for that. I don’t want to lose two days filming for princess over there. Would you like to go back to what you were doing when we came in? Or should we wait outside until Jared’s finished taking care of you?” The Second Unit Director had a nasty smirk on his face as he spoke.
Jared growled and he took a step towards him when a quiet voice stopped him “No, Jay. It’s fine, I promise to be back tomorrow.” Jared turned back and looked at Jensen as if he’d lost his mind.
“Christ Jen, there is no way you’re filming tomorrow. We’ll work round it. What the hell is going on here?” Jared was growing angrier by the second. He spun back to face the director and he really wanted to wipe that smirk off his face.
Before he could act on his instinct, a beige blur burst into the room. There was the sound of a trench coat flapping like wings and Misha strode right up to the Second Unit Director. Misha drew his fist back and felled the man with a single punch. Jared gaped in shock, as his usually mild-mannered friend laid the dick out with one punch.
“Damn! I’m never saying Cas can’t fight ever again. Go nerd angel!” Jensen’s awestruck voice came from the bed.
“What the fuck did you do that for?” The director whimpered from the floor, holding his bloody nose.
“I’m saving your life, you worthless piece of crap because if Jared had hit you, we’d still be looking for your head.” Misha growled in full Cas mode.
“Why would I want to kill him, apart from the obvious?” Jared gestured to Jensen as he spoke.
Misha looked behind Jared to where Jensen was lying, his blue eyes searching the other man’s face. “He hasn’t told you, has he, Jared? He hasn’t said why he stayed out filming when he knew something was wrong and he needed a break.” Jared shook his head, looking back at Jensen who seemed to be avoiding his eyes.
“It seems our friendly dick here isn’t above a little blackmail to get what he wants. I’ve talked to the crew and they were all as puzzled as me. Then I started asking questions. You have to ask everyone who was there, no one heard the full conversation. It seems our friend here threatened to out you and Jensen to the world, saying it would ruin your action movie career before it even started. After all, who’s heard of a gay Conan?” Misha took a step closer to the cowering man.
“So whenever a crew member tried to get Jensen to rest he refused, saying he was fine. You didn’t even let him have a drink, you moron. The crew is out there ready to rip you apart. I don’t know whether to let them or Jared loose on you. But you strike me as the type to report Jared to the police so I think that it’s better I’m the one who hit you.” Misha stopped speaking.
Jared turned back to Jensen, “Damn it Jensen! I don’t give a crap about that! Don’t you know you’re more important than any film roles?”
“Ahh, ain’t that sweet? Well, it will all come out when I tell the police that maniac assaulted me.” The dick was slowly getting to his feet.
“What assault? You tripped when you came charging in here and hit your face.” Michelle said coldly.
“Friend, if you’re looking for witnesses, then you’re in the wrong place. As for your little stunt, I hate to tell you it’s not going to work. As far as Jared and Jensen’s relationship goes it stays on set. We’re all very fond of them and word of this is not going to get out and that’s a promise.” Bob addressed the shocked man.
“What are you going to do to stop me?” The dick was trying to muster up some courage as he looked round the room at the open hostility there.
“Oh, it’s simple. You see, if you talk to anyone I promise I will put the word out you’re not to be trusted. Do you think these two are the only gay couple out there being protected by their crew? By the time I’m finished you will be lucky to be able to direct infomercials. You will be pure poison. So is it worth your career?” Bob smiled sweetly at the stunned man.
“You wouldn’t... you couldn’t do that to me.” He whimpered at Bob, pleading for mercy.
“Why not? You were going to do it to these two. I happen to like the boys. You’re a whiny dick, and I’d lose no sleep over you. Now this is what we are going to do. Your services are no longer required. You will be paid for a full episode, but somehow I can’t see you being invited back to work with us again. Don’t worry. If asked, I’ll just say you didn’t get what the show was about. You know family. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” Bob stepped out of the way and allowed the broken man to slink out of the room.
“Look, guys. I’ll be back in a minute. I want to make sure he gets past the crew in one piece. He deserves to be ripped apart but we can’t afford the lawsuit.” Bob quickly followed the dick out of the room.
Jared was grinning as Bob left the room. “Misha, dude, I don’t know how to thank you for that. And what a right hook! Who knew you had it in you?” Jared laughed happily as Misha stepped closer to the bed.
“I was watching him on set, there was no concern there. I knew there was something wrong as Jensen isn’t dumb enough to do that to himself. Once the crew started to compare notes it didn’t take us long to put two and two together. How are you feeling now? You scared the crap out of us. I didn’t think Jared would stop crying.” Misha smiled fondly down at the man on the bed.
“I’m sorry, guys, but I’ve met his type before. As long as I played ball he’d keep his mouth shut. As soon as we’d finished filming I was going to tell Bob and see what we could do. This might have worked out better, though. Misha, thanks. And if there is anything I can do just let me know.” Jensen smiled at his new hero.
“Well, actually there is something you can do for me.” Misha said.
“Like Jensen said, anything man.”
“Can I have one of his bags of ice? I think I might have broken my hand.” Misha held up his now swelling right hand to the laughter of the other men.
Michelle examined his hand and it turned out that he hadn’t broken it. So Misha stayed with Jared and Jensen while they waited for the drip to finish, his hand packed in ice to help with the swelling.
Jensen managed two bottles of Gatorade before threatening Jared with sleeping on the couch for a month if he tried to force feed him anymore. Michelle gave him one final check-up and announced she was happy to send him home; they left with strict instructions that if Jensen became confused again, or his temperature rose Jared was to bring him right back.
“I don’t need a wheelchair, I can walk. Please Jay, it’s embarrassing.” Jensen managed to flush an even deeper shade of red as he was being pushed through the E.R. to the applause of the crew.
“Says the man whose left knee is the size of a baseball. Shut up and relax. By the way, do you know how hot you look in scrubs? It clashes so nicely with your sunburn.” Jensen sulked the rest of the way while Jared laughed at him. Once at the car, Jared helped him climb in.
“Jared, I’ll travel back with the crew. I think the sooner you guys are home the better, and don’t let him bully you into letting him come to work tomorrow. “ Misha waved at Jensen through the window, watching Jensen fold his arms in disgust at being talked about.
“I promise not to let him brow beat me into submission, Misha.” Jared replied solemnly.
“Good to hear. Oh, Bob says, don’t worry about coming in yourself. We’ll work round it for tomorrow. Goodnight, Jared.” Jared said good night and got into the SUV beside Jensen.
“How are you, Jensen? And none of that ‘Dean, I’m fine’ crap. “ Cliff asked over his shoulder.
“I’ve been better, Cliff. My head’s killing me and my skin feels so tight it’s like it belongs to someone else. You know, like Chuck. I feel sorry for Jared; he’s got to put up with me for the next couple of days.”
“Ahh...poor baby. I’ll make sure he gets a medal, faced with having to apply lotion to you. Damn! I bet he’s distraught.” It was Jared’s turn to blush as Jensen and Cliff laughed at him.
After Cliff dropped them off at the house, Jared convinced Jensen to go right to bed. It was a quick argument, ending when Jared picked Jensen up and carried him upstairs. Jared helped Jensen get undressed; he stood silently looking at the bright-red painful-looking skin. “It’s alright, Jay. I’ll be fine in a couple of days and I even promise to take my painkillers so we get a good night’s sleep.” Jensen hissed softly as he hauled himself further up the bed.
Jared opened the lotion Michelle had given him. She gave him instructions to apply generously and whenever required. It would help to ease the burn as it contained mild local anaesthetic. After a couple of days Jared could use normal Aloe gel. “Come on. Lie down. This will help.” Jensen did as he was told.
Jared straddled Jensen’s hips; he squeezed a generous amount of lotion into his hand, rubbing his hands together so they were both coated with it. He began to carefully apply it to Jensen’s overheated, sensitive skin. Massaging the cooling lotion into his neck, Jared made a gentle sweeping motion, allowing his hands to glide over Jensen’s chest. He paused only when he needed more lotion; Jensen gradually became boneless under Jared’s talented hands, the combination of them and the lotion helped to ease the prickling tightness of his skin. Jared’s gentle touch helping to ease the pain, he squirms slightly as Jared’s hands tenderly skim along his ribs. Jensen gave a sigh as Jared worked his way along his abs before moving over his arms. Jared is careful not to miss an inch of Jensen’s skin as he works.
“Come on. Turn over for me, Jen.” Jared leans forward and whispers into Jensen’s ear. Jensen is slipping towards sleep. He sighs with contentment as he does what he’s told. Jared can tell that Jensen will slip away soon and get some rest, so he continues with his ministrations. Jared smoothes the lotion across his shoulders, taking his time working on them. Jared loves how broad they are and always enjoys massaging them when he has the chance. Eventually Jared runs his hands the length of Jensen’s back. Exploring the graceful curve, Jared splays his hands to the side letting his thumbs trace down Jensen’s spine. He applies the gentlest of pressure, knowing the merest touch can be agony, but this even pressure along with the lotion brings Jensen some relief from the unrelenting heat under his skin.
As Jared works he can hear Jensen humming softly to himself. Jared can’t help but smile as he listens. No matter what Jensen says, when he does that he sounds like Gizmo. If Jared mentions it, he blushes and stops so Jared remains quiet and listens. Finally the soft humming stills as sleep takes over and Jared finishes his massage.
He carefully moves Jensen until he is under the covers; he knows that Jensen will throw them off in the night because of the heat, but for now he will stay covered up. Jared sits and watches as Jensen sleeps. He slowly reaches out his hand and gently runs his fingers through the short light-brown hair. At the touch Jensen nearly purrs, making Jared grin.
In a minute he’ll go downstairs to make some sandwiches and bring them back up. Then in a little while he’ll wake Jensen up and get him to eat something. He’ll also make him drink a little more to help with his dehydration. Of course, he makes sure he is fed well before midnight. Jared will make him take his painkillers and wait for them to take effect. Jensen is always way too cute on painkillers, that’s why he hates them with a passion and Jared loves them. Although he could do without the pain they’re killing.
Jared slowly gets off the bed so not to wake the other man. He bends down and places the softest of kisses on his neck. As he stands up to leave, he uses the nickname Jensen absolutely loathes. Can Jared help it if he thinks Jensen is adorable when he pouts and flutters his eyelashes at him because of it? “Sleep tight, Gizmo. I’ll be back soon.”
Just as Jared reaches the door a quiet voice stops him, “For the last time Padalecki, will you stop comparing me to a midget Yoda in drag. I’m not a damn Mogwai.”
“Ok then. When you start to peel, I could paint you green and you could pass for a Gremlin with all that scaly skin.” He turns to run out of the room, but he is too slow, laughing as a pillow bounces off the back of his head.
Ink and Toner