Gilgamesh Wulfenbach and the Men of Letters 14/18
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Chapter 14
Know When to Hold ’Em
Jody’s life had taken a turn for the interesting in the months since meeting Linda. Barry Heterodyne’s journal had proven quite instructive, but the gateway Cas and Kevin had rebuilt had burned out completely after their departure, and Linda had decided not to try to follow. Instead, they’d agreed that she would move into the bunker and begin finding out more about the Men of Letters, while Jody took the copy of John Winchester’s journal that Kevin had left to start establishing herself in the hunting world. Fortunately, Dean had kept adding to the journal over the years, which meant that Jody had the knowledge she needed to stop Vesta from killing errant members of her church’s chastity group and cure a girl she rescued from an abusive “family” of vampires. The pishtaco at the Minnesota spa, however... that was just plain police work. But it did bring her into contact with fellow sheriff Donna Hascomb, who was a delight as both a LEO and a hunting colleague. The girls’ club was even joined by an angel named Hannah in March.
Jody didn’t think she was capable of being surprised anymore. The shabby little man who knocked on her door one night in May proved her wrong.
“I’m sorry to disturb you, Sheriff,” he said as she opened her door slightly, gun in hand but out of sight, skin crawling with the sense that he wasn’t as mild-mannered as his thinning curls, wide blue eyes, and rounded shoulders made him look. “It’s just that I have nowhere else to turn.”
“What can I help you with?” she asked warily.
“I’m looking for a friend of mine. His name is Kevin Tran.”
She tightened her grip on her gun. “Who are you?”
“I’m an angel. My name is Metatron.”
She shot him on principle.
But judging from his expression, she’d wounded his feelings far more than anything else. “Please, I mean him no harm. I know you’re friends with the Winchesters and with Castiel.”
“Damn right I am. Now get lost before I deep fry you in holy oil.”
“Wait,” he said, holding up both hands. “I’ll make you a deal. Tell me where they are, and I’ll... I’ll give you Castiel’s grace.”
She raised her chin and her eyebrow. “Is the grace here on earth?”
“Yes, it’s not far from here.”
“Two conditions. I drive, and you give me the grace before I tell you anything.”
“Fair enough,” he agreed, a little too hastily.
Not taking her eyes off him, she called, “Alex?”
“Yes, Mom?” replied her rescuee, whom she’d unofficially adopted.
“I’m going to be gone overnight. If you need anything, call Hannah or Donna.”
She heard Alex come into the hall and assess the situation in a glance. “Gotcha,” Alex stated. “Don’t work too hard.”
“And no parties, young lady.”
Alex’s eye roll was almost audible. “Yes, ma’am.”
Jody had to suppress a smirk as she returned her full attention to Metatron. “All right, let’s go.”
The angel seemed just a little too satisfied as Jody escorted him to her truck and followed his directions out of town. He probably had some sort of plan to back out of the deal before giving her what she wanted. If he thought she was going to be easy to fool, however, he was in for a surprise. She’d negotiated enough clemency deals to know exactly how the game was played-from both sides.
It took about five hours in all to reach Metatron’s secret hideout, which contained a library. Once inside, however, Metatron smiled up at Jody smugly and crossed his arms. “Here we are. The grace is here, if you can find it. Now tell me-”
“Not so fast, Dr. Loveless,” she returned, wiping the smirk off his face. “You get nothing until the grace is in my hand.”
“How dare you....”
“You think I haven’t read Kevin’s notes? You think I don’t know why you’re so desperate to find him? You think I don’t know how to kill you with a word?” The last was a bluff because she hadn’t read that far yet, but given the level of detail and what Linda had said she’d read in Kevin’s notes on the demon tablet, it was a fair guess that such a thing was possible.
And the bluff worked. Metatron paled but snarled, “You impudent human! What makes you think I won’t just kill you?”
“You said it yourself. I’m your only hope. You can afford to lose the grace, but you can’t afford to lose me. Give me what I want, and I’ll give you what you want.”
After a moment’s fuming, he finally went to a shelf and retrieved a copy of Don Quixote. “Here,” he spat as he handed it to her.
She opened the book, which was covered in faintly visible Enochian wards, to find a cutaway section that held a vial filled with glowing blue liquid. Nodding, she shut the book again and turned to go.
“Wait! You-you promised!”
“Yes, I did,” she said, turning back at the door. “But it won’t do you any good. They’re gone.”
“Gone? Gone where?”
“It doesn’t matter. They’re in a place where you can’t follow. Nobody can. And if they’re smart, they’ll stay there. You’ve lost, Metatron.”
He howled in rage-but before he could react further, there was the distinct sound of a hand slapping a wall in the shadows and the angel-banishing sigil flared, blasting the angel away.
She took a deep breath and let it out again. “Perfect timing, pard.”
Smiling but shaking a bit, Donna came out into the light. “Lost the GPS signal about a mile back. Good thing I had Hannah with me.”
“You all right?”
“Oh, yeah, you betcha. Just... kind of a shock, y’know? Never banished an angel before.”
Jody chuckled. “Neither had I. C’mon, let’s get that hand healed and get this grace to the bunker.”
“Grace?” Donna asked as they walked outside and Hannah, who had been waiting anxiously, pounced on her to heal her hand. “What does that mean?”
Jody quickly explained what Metatron had done to Cas. “No idea how to get it to him now, though,” she admitted. “But we can give it to Linda for safekeeping until we figure something out.”
“Y’know, I don’t think I’ve been to this bunker yet. Where are we headed?”
“Lebanon, Kansas. Reckon we’ll get in around daybreak.”
“We should stop in town for some coffee, then.”
“We really shouldn’t stay long,” Hannah warned. “Metatron will be back soon.”
Jody nodded. “We can get a few towns down the road before I’ll need gas. We can get coffee then.”
Donna looked a little disappointed but nodded her agreement. Then they went back to their respective cars and got underway.
Even with the need to stop for gas, coffee, and food, Jody’s estimate proved correct. The two-car convoy reached the bunker just as Linda was about to start breakfast. So Donna made French toast while Jody briefed Linda on what had happened, to which Linda responded with language that made Hannah blush.
“Castiel was right, then,” Linda admitted as Donna brought plates to the table. “Kevin’s safer in Mechanicsburg. I just... wish I had some way to send word to him.”
“Perhaps Lord Heterodyne’s journal will have an answer that we’ve missed,” Hannah suggested.
Jody nodded. “Maybe. But it’ll wait until after we eat.”
“Oh, good,” Donna teased, sitting down. “I was afraid this was turning into one of those conversations-y’know, the kind that means there isn’t time for breakfast.”
“There is always time for French toast,” Jody returned, and everyone else laughed.
And the French toast was definitely worth making time for, which all the ladies admitted, to Donna’s pink-cheeked glee. But they were still trying to decide whose turn it was to do the dishes when a door across the hall suddenly opened and a dark-haired lady dressed like Amelia Earhart stepped through from... someplace that looked an awful lot like the Emerald City. Be that as it may, Jody and Donna had her covered in an instant.
The lady froze and looked around at the four women in the kitchen. “Where are the Winchesters?” she asked Jody, frowning.
“They’re not here,” Jody replied. “Why do you ask?”
“A friend of theirs needs help. I think she’ll recover better here than in Oz, but I don’t think I can move her on my own.”
Jody blinked. “Who are you, and who is the friend?”
“I’m Dorothy Baum. The friend is Charlie Bradbury.”
Jody and Donna looked at each other and followed Dorothy back through the doorway.
“So that’s where things stand,” Agatha concluded as she finished bringing Adam and Lilith up to speed at the rebuilt hospital Wednesday afternoon. She’d already shown them the recording of the exorcism and of the baron’s last speech and told them all about the rebuilding and Tarvek’s coronation, and somehow in the process she’d ended up sitting on the edge of Lilith’s bed. “They’re coming back to town tomorrow for the baron’s funeral, and I’m sure Gil’s going to need some time to recover after that. Then Friday we’ll sign the treaty and have a briefing to sort out what threats we’ve dealt with and what we still need to do, as well as looking over the new constitution Kevin’s drawn up for me.”
“Well!” said Lilith. “I suppose we ought to see whether Sun will let us out of bed for the funeral, at least.”
Adam nodded his agreement.
Agatha bit her lip. “You... don’t think I’m doing the wrong thing, do you? Letting the baron be buried here, I mean.”
Lilith smiled. “No, dear. Your uncle never fully explained why he didn’t trust the baron, but Klaus was a friend of the family, and he can hardly hurt anyone now that he’s dead.”
“E-spe-sh’ly... not... you,” Adam added. His voice was getting stronger, but his speech was still rather halting. Agatha suspected he needed a lot more practice.
“Tell us more about this treaty with your young man, though,” Lilith prompted.
Agatha blinked. “I thought you didn’t want me to marry him.”
“Well, the situation has rather changed. It’s a preliminary treaty, you said?”
“Um. Yes. Gil suspects we’ll want to renegotiate once peace is restored and we get Lucrezia’s work eliminated.”
Lilith’s eyebrows went up. “Lucrezia. Not Mother.”
“Yes, well, considering what she did to me and to everyone I care about and quite a lot of people I don’t... you’re the only mother I care to claim.”
“Oh, Agatha.” Lilith held out her arms for a hug, and Agatha gave it to her.
“You... think... he... wants... to... keep... Me-cha-nics-burg?” Adam asked.
Agatha shook her head as she let go of Lilith. “I think he wants to protect Mechanicsburg, or rather to protect me from having to fight anyone else. The siege was pretty terrible; you may not be able to tell when you get out, but the town took a lot of damage before we got the castle repaired, and there were some fatalities. Once peace is restored, though, I think I might be able to talk him into letting us leave the empire but remain allies.”
“That’s rather optimistic,” Lilith cautioned.
“Well, trying to leave now would cause more trouble than it’s worth. If I can prove that I’m fighting alongside Gil, people won’t be as likely to view Mechanicsburg’s secession as anything but an amicable split. Although...” Agatha rubbed the back of her neck. “I’ve got a funny feeling Gil might want me to take more than just Mechanicsburg. The baron did say he was leaving the empire to the three of us.”
Adam frowned. “Has... he... said?”
Agatha shook her head. “No. It’s just a hunch.”
Lilith’s strong hands closed gently over Agatha’s shoulders. “Sweetheart, we know you care for him a great deal, but you need to be careful of trusting him too far politically.”
“I know. That’s why I’ve been getting advice from friends I know I can trust-Mamma Gkika, especially, and Van and Zeetha and Krosp and Wooster, but Castiel and Kevin, too. They’re Men of Letters, and they’re not from here, so they don’t have a vested interest in any of the political considerations.”
Lilith nodded slowly and dropped her hands. “All right. Perhaps you could bring us a copy tomorrow?”
“Sure.” Agatha didn’t think they’d find anything disastrously wrong; the treaty did include a set term of expiration and wouldn’t automatically extend except in case of war preventing a renegotiation. But after all, they were her parents, and they would worry.
Just then there was a knock at the door, and Maxim stuck his head in, hat in hand. “Hoy, Miztress, ve chust got vord from Sturmhalten. Dot Prinz Leopold iz attackink hyu schmot guyz.”
“Bother,” said Agatha. “How’s it going?”
“Vell, der baron vos takink off vit de revenant spray; dot should knock down de infantry. Der Storm King gotz lightning cannons now to take down de klenks. Der baron built dem for him. Und if dot dun vork, dey sendz out de Jägerkin. De Vinchesters tink it von’t effen take all night.”
“I certainly hope not. I’d hate for Gil to miss his father’s funeral.”
“Re-ve-nants?” Adam echoed.
Maxim shrugged. “Vell, dey dun know for sure, Meester Ponch, but de spray knocks ’em down ennyvayz.”
“Tarvek was telling me about it after the coronation,” Agatha explained. “It breaks the wasp’s control, but even if the person isn’t wasped, the formula stuns for a couple of minutes. It’s not even as severe as C-gas. Tarvek developed it, but Gil was the one who wanted to use it in battle first, and Sam helped them figure out how to get it to work as a spray.”
Adam and Lilith looked at each other in surprise.
“I assume the plan is to use the lightning cannons to hit the clanks while the infantry is down.”
Maxim nodded. “Yah, Hy tink zo, Miztress.”
“Good, that should spare some lives. I just hope Tarvek remembers to wait for Gil to get out of range before he fires.”
“Dun vorry. Dey iz friends now. Und dis time Meester Gadreel is goink vit Meester Gil chust in case!”
Agatha laughed. “Thanks, Maxim. Keep me informed.”
“Yez, Miztress.” Maxim nodded to Adam and Lilith and withdrew.
Lilith rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Klaus used C-gas on you, didn’t he, when he first arrived at the shop and took you and....”
“Von Zinzer,” Agatha confirmed. “He did.”
“And now his son is using weapons less incapacitating than that.”
“Still... non-le-thal,” Adam observed.
“I’ve seen his lightning weapons, though,” Agatha confessed. “They are amazing. Accurate, too-I doubt there’s any risk of the infantry getting fried, especially if the Knights of Jove surrender as readily to Tarvek as they did to Gil the first time.”
Lilith chuckled. “Listen to you, Agatha. Your father and uncle would be so proud.”
Adam nodded. “Yes. They... would.”
Agatha felt herself blush. “Well, I hope so. I do want to do the right thing, to live up to their example.”
“And I’m certain you will, because you already have.” Lilith kissed Agatha’s forehead as she had ever since Agatha was little. “But now I think we’d better get some rest if we’re going to have any hope at all of Sun allowing us to attend the funeral tomorrow.”
Agatha nodded. “All right. I’ll let you know if anything comes up.” With that, she hugged both Adam and Lilith-Adam twice, because she’d been sitting with Lilith-and left the hospital, Jägers and Violetta in tow.
“I still can’t get over it,” Violetta said. “The Punch and Judy were your guardians.”
Agatha shot her an amused look. “Why is that so surprising? You know who I am now.”
“Yeah, but... they’re so different from the Heterodyne Boys books.”
“It explains some things for me, though. They always hated the ones they were in, and that’s probably why.”
The conversation was interrupted as they were met by Sleipnir, charging toward Agatha in a towering Irish fury. “This is your fault, colleen!” she thundered in English. “Your cousin, your project-YOU talk to him!”
“What did I do?!” Agatha replied in the same language. “And who am I talking to?”
“Theo! He’s shut himself up in your cursed spark asylum, says he’s got something to finish and it’s got to be done tonight, and he won’t even let me help!”
“Whaaat?” That was uncharacteristic for Theo-yes, like any spark, he could be single-minded, but a kinder, sweeter soul never lived. Agatha certainly couldn’t imagine him shutting out his own wife. “I didn’t ask him to do anything with the spark asylum. Why won’t he let you help?”
“I don’t know! He just-” Sleipnir jammed her hands into her hair and started ranting in Irish.
“Hoy, hoy!” Dimo interrupted, waving his arms. “Ve ken’t onderstand hyu!”
“Cad é atá....” Sleipnir caught herself, and suddenly the fire went out of her and she slumped a little with a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, Agatha.”
“It’s all right,” Agatha replied, closing the distance between them to put a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “What’s happened?”
“He won’t come out. He’s missed lunch, and he’s about to miss supper. And I... I tried to go in to drag him away and make him eat, but...” Sleipnir looked Agatha in the eye and finally let the depth of her worry show in her eyes. “The door won’t open. It’s not locked. It’s not jammed. It’s not barred or blocked that I can see. It just won’t open. It doesn’t even rattle when I bang on it. And I can’t break the glass, either.”
Agatha felt her blood run cold. In the castle, such things might not be so odd, but the asylum, like the hospital and cathedral, was an intentional dead zone-the castle could repair the exterior fabric of the building if needed, but it had no sensors inside and no control over the interior. “What’s he doing?”
Sleipnir shook her head. “I don’t know. Marking something on the walls in invisible ink, last I looked. Blessed if I know why-the lab was empty.”
Agatha swallowed hard. “Show me.”
“He’s been odd the last few days,” Sleipnir explained as she led Agatha and her protectors out of the hospital. “He’d been talking with Castiel before that, you know, while we were still building the place. Seems Gadreel had some idea of fixing up virtual laboratories where the sparks could work but not hurt anyone. Theo was trying to sort out how to make such a thing work. But Saturday night he started having strange dreams. I caught him sleepwalking a time or two, heard him muttering in his sleep, but I couldn’t understand-it sounded like Hindi. Sunday he spent almost all day at the cathedral. Monday he was writing all day, but he wouldn’t let me see his notes. Yesterday he went to the market looking for herbs. And now....”
Agatha looked over her shoulder. “Maxim, go get Castiel.”
“Yez, Miztress,” Maxim replied and loped off in another direction.
“This doesn’t sound like the Spark,” Agatha continued, returning her attention to Sleipnir. “Or at least, not just the Spark. Have you ever heard him speak Hindi before?”
“No,” Sleipnir replied. “I mean, I knew he can; his father’s journal is in the Devangari script, and he said his parents raised him multilingual. But this... it almost sounded like he was talking to someone, or answering someone. Just short phrases, you know?”
“Hmm. He can’t have been wasped-we made sure of that Thursday night. And it’s awfully delayed to be a reaction to the inoculation formula.”
“Nobody else has reacted that way that we’ve seen.”
Fervently wishing the Winchesters were there, Agatha followed Sleipnir into the asylum and down to the labs, which were underground for security. Someone-Theo, probably, given that he’d evidently taken over the project when Agatha wasn’t looking-had arranged for each lab door to have a narrow window with reinforced glass, presumably to let the asylum staff keep an eye on the experimenting sparks. That was a wise idea, as far as it went, but all it meant at the moment was that Agatha and Sleipnir got to the door of the last lab on the right in time to see Theo press against a cut on his wrist, making it bleed, and let the blood drip into a metal bowl that was sitting in the middle of a table in the middle of the otherwise empty lab.
“What the devil is he doing?!” Sleipnir gasped.
Agatha tried the door. It didn’t budge. Theo bound his wrist with an already stained handkerchief and murmured something Agatha couldn’t hear.
Agatha pounded on the door. “Theo? THEO?!”
Still murmuring, Theo struck a match and held it over the bowl.
“NO!” Agatha and Sleipnir cried.
Theo dropped the match, and flames erupted from the bowl as if it had been filled with gunpowder. Agatha stepped back and kicked at the door-
-and stumbled through as the door swung open of its own accord.
Sleipnir pushed past her to where Theo was lying on the floor. “Theo?! Theo, mo chroi-”
“Nnnnngh,” Theo groaned and put a hand to his head as Sleipnir helped him sit up. “That’s it. That’s the last one.”
“What were you thinking?!”
“There was... no other way... to make it... make it permanent.” Theo was still breathing hard.
Agatha turned to Violetta. “Can you-”
“Yes, my lady,” Violetta replied and went to put a healing balm on Theo’s wrist and bandage it properly.
“I’m sorry, darling,” Theo told Sleipnir, resting his head against her shoulder. “I couldn’t explain. There wasn’t time. People... people are coming tomorrow to... to see. I had to do it now.”
“Were you looking to get committed here yourself?!” Sleipnir chided.
“No, it’s... it’s really, really complicated, and I’m not just saying that because... you’re not a spark. You know I love you and I think you’re brilliant, but-just... trust me, I couldn’t have figured this out on my own. And I wouldn’t have gone through with it if... if I could have done it a different way.”
“Do what, Theo?” Agatha prompted.
“The virtual labs. Look, get... get Slaghammer, he’s-”
“HOY!” Oggie hollered, and there was a scuffle in the hall.
“What’s going on here?” Agatha demanded as she stepped back out into the hall to find Oggie and Dimo restraining none other than the wild-eyed, wild-haired Dr. Igneous Slaghammer, one of the sparks who’d voluntarily committed himself to the asylum.
“YOU!” Slaghammer yelled, pointing at Agatha. “Heterodyne! I was promised laboratory time-give it to me, or I shall level this town with my beautiful claw!” (Said mechanical claw was one of the first devices Agatha had confiscated from the asylum-seekers. She was pretty sure it couldn’t level a town.)
Two nurses charged down the hall toward him. “We’re sorry, Lady Heterodyne,” one of them began.
Agatha held up a hand. “No, no, wait.” She turned back to Theo. “You’re sure they’re all ready?”
Theo nodded. “Take your choice.”
Agatha nodded back and went to the lab next door, turning up the lights to reveal an identical, though mirrored, layout that was equally furnished but unstocked. There wasn’t even any glassware to be seen. You’d better be right about this, cousin, she thought as she stepped back. “Here you are, Dr. Slaghammer. This lab appears to be free.”
Oggie and Dimo let Slaghammer go, and he approached the lab door warily. But as soon as he crossed the threshold, he gasped loudly, and his eyes went wide in awe. “This... this is for me?!”
“Erm. Yes.”
Still staring open-mouthed, Slaghammer wandered slowly through the lab, easily maneuvering around the tables that were present and running his fingers over equipment that... wasn’t. He was nearly in tears when he made his way back to the door and fell to his knees in front of Agatha. “My lady-gracious beyond words-I am your humble servant ever!”
Agatha blinked. “You’re welcome? Uh, have fun.”
Slaghammer nodded, pulled himself together with a visible effort, stood, and hurried to a table to begin building something only he could see. Agatha pulled the door shut behind him, and it locked automatically.
“Only a spark who is truly unhinged can use these labs,” Theo said quietly, and Agatha turned to find that he and Sleipnir and Violetta had come out into the hall at last. “There are lesser types of mental illness, of course, perhaps difficult to live with but not enough to make the man a danger to himself or to others. Those thus afflicted won’t meet the conditions. But if the spark is truly mad, no matter which room he enters, he will find the lab of his dreams. Quite literally. And the walls are soundproof, so the sparks won’t even disturb each other while they’re ‘working.’” He gestured toward the window into Slaghammer’s lab. “Any relatively sane person, spark or not, will see the labs as they truly are-empty.”
“It’s like Venthraxus Heterodyne’s kitchen,” Agatha realized, recalling the small kitchen her ancestor had built to contain his favorite chef when said chef had gone mad and started poisoning people. “Only there’s no food for the spark to poison, so he can’t even poison himself by accident. But what if he tried, or thought he’d built a doomsday device and set it off or something?”
Theo shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t think he’d die, but I don’t know what would happen. Maybe... maybe the shock of not dying would open the door for better treatment.”
“I still don’t like what it took,” Sleipnir stated. “And you should have said something so I wouldn’t panic. But I don’t suppose I can argue with the results.”
“I am sorry for panicking you. Make it up to you after supper?”
“You’d better.”
He kissed her, and Violetta huffed and rolled her eyes.
“Hy tink mebbe ve better go,” said Dimo.
“I agree,” said Agatha and, with an apologetic smile for the nurses, led the way back upstairs.
The six of them had just stepped outside when Maxim and Castiel ran up. “Lady Heterodyne!” Castiel gasped. “What happened?”
“Well, I’m not entirely sure,” Agatha confessed. “But everything’s all right now. Theo set up the virtual labs you suggested.”
Castiel blinked at her, then looked at Theo’s wrist and the bowl Violetta was carrying and promptly charged into the asylum.
“Vot der dumboozle?” Maxim asked.
Agatha could only shrug.
A minute or two later, Castiel came back out at a much slower pace, frowning in apparent confusion. “May I?” he asked Violetta and took the bowl from her to examine.
“Is something wrong?” Sleipnir prompted.
“Not exactly.” Still frowning, Castiel handed the bowl back to Violetta. “There’s so much I can’t sense anymore. There are marks of all this that are familiar, but... how it could be possible... I just can’t be sure.”
“Are we in any danger?” Violetta asked.
Castiel shook his head. “No, no, what danger there was is past. Forgive me; I don’t even know how much I ought to explain. But Theo, how did you know what to do?”
“I-” Theo blinked. “I don’t remember.” At Castiel’s look of alarm, he held up a hand. “No, no, I mean I remember doing it, and I know I had conscious control of myself while I was going through the steps, but how I knew them... it’s fading, like I’ve just woken up from a dream. There was a long explanation that made sense at the time, but I can’t recall what it was now. I took notes, though, if you’d like to see them.”
“No, that’s not necessary. The pages may be blank by now anyway.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Never mind. Thank you.”
Don’t worry, kiddo, an unfamiliar voice whispered into Agatha’s mind suddenly, causing her to miss whatever was being said next. Everything’s okay. I’m here to help.
“Agatha?” Sleipnir prompted.
Agatha blinked. “What?”
“We’re going.”
“Ah, right, going, yes.” Still rather unsettled, Agatha hurried to join her friends on the way back to the castle.
And she wasn’t at all sure whether to be reassured by the chocolate trilobite she found on her pillow when she went to bed that night, although she ate it anyway and didn’t suffer any ill effects.
Thursday was as difficult a day as Agatha had feared, from Gil and Tarvek arriving with Gadreel and the Winchesters by car, followed by the Jäger horde, to the thousands of people who swarmed into town and into the cathedral to pay their last respects to the baron and to give their regards to his children and Agatha. It was a good service, all things considered, and she was glad to be able to give her support to Gil and Zeetha, but she was glad to have Adam and Lilith there to support her along with all of their other friends. Gil’s grief, in particular, was palpable, and even the Winchesters seemed to be remembering losses of their own. Theo had been right, too; quite a few dignitaries wanted a tour of the spark asylum-or rather, the Mechanicsburg Home for Troubled Sparks, as the sign above the door now proclaimed. Van took charge of that, fortunately, and managed to impress everyone who needed to be impressed. That left Agatha free to eat with her friends and family, spend some time with Tarvek before he needed to fly back to Sturmhalten with his Smoke Knights and Gadreel, and go with Gil to walk Adam and Lilith back to the hospital and chat with them for a bit before Dr. Sun insisted they needed to rest. The walk back to the castle was slow, and although they were arm in arm, Gil kept Agatha’s hand covered with his own the whole way.
After supper, though, when everything had calmed down and most of the visitors, including Tarvek, had left, Gil asked Agatha quietly if they could just sit somewhere for a while.
Agatha looked up at him, worried. “Alone, or....”
Gil shook his head. “Doesn’t matter.”
So she found a parlor with a nice view of the sunset and left the door open as they sat down together on the sofa, his arm around her and her head on his shoulder, just taking comfort in each other’s presence. Krosp wandered in after a few minutes and curled up in an armchair. Zeetha wandered in a few minutes later and sat down on the floor on the other side of Agatha. The Winchesters and Violetta came in sometime after that, and the Jägers trickled in last of all and closed the door. And still nobody spoke for a long time.
Agatha was nearly asleep when Zeetha drew a deep breath and turned to Dean. “So. How’d things go with Leopold?”
“Hm?” Dean replied. “Oh. Nothin’ to it. He was in the first clank Tarvek fried. Rest of ’em surrendered as soon as they came to. Some of the troops actually admitted to knowing they were revenants, too, so the spray plan worked out.”
“Good,” Agatha said. “I thought it would.”
Gil smiled and pressed his cheek against the top of her head, and silence fell again for a long moment.
“Mistress,” the castle suddenly said urgently. “Something approaches-I’m not sure what or how-”
It was interrupted when the door opened and a petite lady with short red hair poked her head through. “Is this the right room for an argument?”
Almost before Agatha knew what was happening, Dean was on his feet and sweeping the newcomer off her feet into a bear hug, joyful growl and all. She laughed as he spun her around and set her down; then she hurried past him to give Sam an equally warm hug, though he didn’t pick her up. Meanwhile, a host of little people-all around Krosp’s size-handed what were presumably the lady’s bags and trunk through the portal from a plaza paved with yellow brick to the bemused Jägers. That done, the little people closed the door, and a flare of light around the doorframe proclaimed the unexpected portal closed.
“Sweet mother of steampunk,” the lady said as Sam finally let her go and she looked around the room. “You guys, I was totally jealous when Sheriff Mills filled me in. I love Girl Genius!”
“Why does that not surprise me?” Sam teased.
“Excuse me,” Agatha spoke up. “Would someone-”
“Right, right,” Dean interrupted and put an arm around the lady’s shoulders. “Everyone, this is Charlie... the little sister I never had.”
“Awww,” said Charlie, leaning into the side hug. “I missed you, too, Dean.”
Next
Chapter 14
Know When to Hold ’Em
Jody’s life had taken a turn for the interesting in the months since meeting Linda. Barry Heterodyne’s journal had proven quite instructive, but the gateway Cas and Kevin had rebuilt had burned out completely after their departure, and Linda had decided not to try to follow. Instead, they’d agreed that she would move into the bunker and begin finding out more about the Men of Letters, while Jody took the copy of John Winchester’s journal that Kevin had left to start establishing herself in the hunting world. Fortunately, Dean had kept adding to the journal over the years, which meant that Jody had the knowledge she needed to stop Vesta from killing errant members of her church’s chastity group and cure a girl she rescued from an abusive “family” of vampires. The pishtaco at the Minnesota spa, however... that was just plain police work. But it did bring her into contact with fellow sheriff Donna Hascomb, who was a delight as both a LEO and a hunting colleague. The girls’ club was even joined by an angel named Hannah in March.
Jody didn’t think she was capable of being surprised anymore. The shabby little man who knocked on her door one night in May proved her wrong.
“I’m sorry to disturb you, Sheriff,” he said as she opened her door slightly, gun in hand but out of sight, skin crawling with the sense that he wasn’t as mild-mannered as his thinning curls, wide blue eyes, and rounded shoulders made him look. “It’s just that I have nowhere else to turn.”
“What can I help you with?” she asked warily.
“I’m looking for a friend of mine. His name is Kevin Tran.”
She tightened her grip on her gun. “Who are you?”
“I’m an angel. My name is Metatron.”
She shot him on principle.
But judging from his expression, she’d wounded his feelings far more than anything else. “Please, I mean him no harm. I know you’re friends with the Winchesters and with Castiel.”
“Damn right I am. Now get lost before I deep fry you in holy oil.”
“Wait,” he said, holding up both hands. “I’ll make you a deal. Tell me where they are, and I’ll... I’ll give you Castiel’s grace.”
She raised her chin and her eyebrow. “Is the grace here on earth?”
“Yes, it’s not far from here.”
“Two conditions. I drive, and you give me the grace before I tell you anything.”
“Fair enough,” he agreed, a little too hastily.
Not taking her eyes off him, she called, “Alex?”
“Yes, Mom?” replied her rescuee, whom she’d unofficially adopted.
“I’m going to be gone overnight. If you need anything, call Hannah or Donna.”
She heard Alex come into the hall and assess the situation in a glance. “Gotcha,” Alex stated. “Don’t work too hard.”
“And no parties, young lady.”
Alex’s eye roll was almost audible. “Yes, ma’am.”
Jody had to suppress a smirk as she returned her full attention to Metatron. “All right, let’s go.”
The angel seemed just a little too satisfied as Jody escorted him to her truck and followed his directions out of town. He probably had some sort of plan to back out of the deal before giving her what she wanted. If he thought she was going to be easy to fool, however, he was in for a surprise. She’d negotiated enough clemency deals to know exactly how the game was played-from both sides.
It took about five hours in all to reach Metatron’s secret hideout, which contained a library. Once inside, however, Metatron smiled up at Jody smugly and crossed his arms. “Here we are. The grace is here, if you can find it. Now tell me-”
“Not so fast, Dr. Loveless,” she returned, wiping the smirk off his face. “You get nothing until the grace is in my hand.”
“How dare you....”
“You think I haven’t read Kevin’s notes? You think I don’t know why you’re so desperate to find him? You think I don’t know how to kill you with a word?” The last was a bluff because she hadn’t read that far yet, but given the level of detail and what Linda had said she’d read in Kevin’s notes on the demon tablet, it was a fair guess that such a thing was possible.
And the bluff worked. Metatron paled but snarled, “You impudent human! What makes you think I won’t just kill you?”
“You said it yourself. I’m your only hope. You can afford to lose the grace, but you can’t afford to lose me. Give me what I want, and I’ll give you what you want.”
After a moment’s fuming, he finally went to a shelf and retrieved a copy of Don Quixote. “Here,” he spat as he handed it to her.
She opened the book, which was covered in faintly visible Enochian wards, to find a cutaway section that held a vial filled with glowing blue liquid. Nodding, she shut the book again and turned to go.
“Wait! You-you promised!”
“Yes, I did,” she said, turning back at the door. “But it won’t do you any good. They’re gone.”
“Gone? Gone where?”
“It doesn’t matter. They’re in a place where you can’t follow. Nobody can. And if they’re smart, they’ll stay there. You’ve lost, Metatron.”
He howled in rage-but before he could react further, there was the distinct sound of a hand slapping a wall in the shadows and the angel-banishing sigil flared, blasting the angel away.
She took a deep breath and let it out again. “Perfect timing, pard.”
Smiling but shaking a bit, Donna came out into the light. “Lost the GPS signal about a mile back. Good thing I had Hannah with me.”
“You all right?”
“Oh, yeah, you betcha. Just... kind of a shock, y’know? Never banished an angel before.”
Jody chuckled. “Neither had I. C’mon, let’s get that hand healed and get this grace to the bunker.”
“Grace?” Donna asked as they walked outside and Hannah, who had been waiting anxiously, pounced on her to heal her hand. “What does that mean?”
Jody quickly explained what Metatron had done to Cas. “No idea how to get it to him now, though,” she admitted. “But we can give it to Linda for safekeeping until we figure something out.”
“Y’know, I don’t think I’ve been to this bunker yet. Where are we headed?”
“Lebanon, Kansas. Reckon we’ll get in around daybreak.”
“We should stop in town for some coffee, then.”
“We really shouldn’t stay long,” Hannah warned. “Metatron will be back soon.”
Jody nodded. “We can get a few towns down the road before I’ll need gas. We can get coffee then.”
Donna looked a little disappointed but nodded her agreement. Then they went back to their respective cars and got underway.
Even with the need to stop for gas, coffee, and food, Jody’s estimate proved correct. The two-car convoy reached the bunker just as Linda was about to start breakfast. So Donna made French toast while Jody briefed Linda on what had happened, to which Linda responded with language that made Hannah blush.
“Castiel was right, then,” Linda admitted as Donna brought plates to the table. “Kevin’s safer in Mechanicsburg. I just... wish I had some way to send word to him.”
“Perhaps Lord Heterodyne’s journal will have an answer that we’ve missed,” Hannah suggested.
Jody nodded. “Maybe. But it’ll wait until after we eat.”
“Oh, good,” Donna teased, sitting down. “I was afraid this was turning into one of those conversations-y’know, the kind that means there isn’t time for breakfast.”
“There is always time for French toast,” Jody returned, and everyone else laughed.
And the French toast was definitely worth making time for, which all the ladies admitted, to Donna’s pink-cheeked glee. But they were still trying to decide whose turn it was to do the dishes when a door across the hall suddenly opened and a dark-haired lady dressed like Amelia Earhart stepped through from... someplace that looked an awful lot like the Emerald City. Be that as it may, Jody and Donna had her covered in an instant.
The lady froze and looked around at the four women in the kitchen. “Where are the Winchesters?” she asked Jody, frowning.
“They’re not here,” Jody replied. “Why do you ask?”
“A friend of theirs needs help. I think she’ll recover better here than in Oz, but I don’t think I can move her on my own.”
Jody blinked. “Who are you, and who is the friend?”
“I’m Dorothy Baum. The friend is Charlie Bradbury.”
Jody and Donna looked at each other and followed Dorothy back through the doorway.
“So that’s where things stand,” Agatha concluded as she finished bringing Adam and Lilith up to speed at the rebuilt hospital Wednesday afternoon. She’d already shown them the recording of the exorcism and of the baron’s last speech and told them all about the rebuilding and Tarvek’s coronation, and somehow in the process she’d ended up sitting on the edge of Lilith’s bed. “They’re coming back to town tomorrow for the baron’s funeral, and I’m sure Gil’s going to need some time to recover after that. Then Friday we’ll sign the treaty and have a briefing to sort out what threats we’ve dealt with and what we still need to do, as well as looking over the new constitution Kevin’s drawn up for me.”
“Well!” said Lilith. “I suppose we ought to see whether Sun will let us out of bed for the funeral, at least.”
Adam nodded his agreement.
Agatha bit her lip. “You... don’t think I’m doing the wrong thing, do you? Letting the baron be buried here, I mean.”
Lilith smiled. “No, dear. Your uncle never fully explained why he didn’t trust the baron, but Klaus was a friend of the family, and he can hardly hurt anyone now that he’s dead.”
“E-spe-sh’ly... not... you,” Adam added. His voice was getting stronger, but his speech was still rather halting. Agatha suspected he needed a lot more practice.
“Tell us more about this treaty with your young man, though,” Lilith prompted.
Agatha blinked. “I thought you didn’t want me to marry him.”
“Well, the situation has rather changed. It’s a preliminary treaty, you said?”
“Um. Yes. Gil suspects we’ll want to renegotiate once peace is restored and we get Lucrezia’s work eliminated.”
Lilith’s eyebrows went up. “Lucrezia. Not Mother.”
“Yes, well, considering what she did to me and to everyone I care about and quite a lot of people I don’t... you’re the only mother I care to claim.”
“Oh, Agatha.” Lilith held out her arms for a hug, and Agatha gave it to her.
“You... think... he... wants... to... keep... Me-cha-nics-burg?” Adam asked.
Agatha shook her head as she let go of Lilith. “I think he wants to protect Mechanicsburg, or rather to protect me from having to fight anyone else. The siege was pretty terrible; you may not be able to tell when you get out, but the town took a lot of damage before we got the castle repaired, and there were some fatalities. Once peace is restored, though, I think I might be able to talk him into letting us leave the empire but remain allies.”
“That’s rather optimistic,” Lilith cautioned.
“Well, trying to leave now would cause more trouble than it’s worth. If I can prove that I’m fighting alongside Gil, people won’t be as likely to view Mechanicsburg’s secession as anything but an amicable split. Although...” Agatha rubbed the back of her neck. “I’ve got a funny feeling Gil might want me to take more than just Mechanicsburg. The baron did say he was leaving the empire to the three of us.”
Adam frowned. “Has... he... said?”
Agatha shook her head. “No. It’s just a hunch.”
Lilith’s strong hands closed gently over Agatha’s shoulders. “Sweetheart, we know you care for him a great deal, but you need to be careful of trusting him too far politically.”
“I know. That’s why I’ve been getting advice from friends I know I can trust-Mamma Gkika, especially, and Van and Zeetha and Krosp and Wooster, but Castiel and Kevin, too. They’re Men of Letters, and they’re not from here, so they don’t have a vested interest in any of the political considerations.”
Lilith nodded slowly and dropped her hands. “All right. Perhaps you could bring us a copy tomorrow?”
“Sure.” Agatha didn’t think they’d find anything disastrously wrong; the treaty did include a set term of expiration and wouldn’t automatically extend except in case of war preventing a renegotiation. But after all, they were her parents, and they would worry.
Just then there was a knock at the door, and Maxim stuck his head in, hat in hand. “Hoy, Miztress, ve chust got vord from Sturmhalten. Dot Prinz Leopold iz attackink hyu schmot guyz.”
“Bother,” said Agatha. “How’s it going?”
“Vell, der baron vos takink off vit de revenant spray; dot should knock down de infantry. Der Storm King gotz lightning cannons now to take down de klenks. Der baron built dem for him. Und if dot dun vork, dey sendz out de Jägerkin. De Vinchesters tink it von’t effen take all night.”
“I certainly hope not. I’d hate for Gil to miss his father’s funeral.”
“Re-ve-nants?” Adam echoed.
Maxim shrugged. “Vell, dey dun know for sure, Meester Ponch, but de spray knocks ’em down ennyvayz.”
“Tarvek was telling me about it after the coronation,” Agatha explained. “It breaks the wasp’s control, but even if the person isn’t wasped, the formula stuns for a couple of minutes. It’s not even as severe as C-gas. Tarvek developed it, but Gil was the one who wanted to use it in battle first, and Sam helped them figure out how to get it to work as a spray.”
Adam and Lilith looked at each other in surprise.
“I assume the plan is to use the lightning cannons to hit the clanks while the infantry is down.”
Maxim nodded. “Yah, Hy tink zo, Miztress.”
“Good, that should spare some lives. I just hope Tarvek remembers to wait for Gil to get out of range before he fires.”
“Dun vorry. Dey iz friends now. Und dis time Meester Gadreel is goink vit Meester Gil chust in case!”
Agatha laughed. “Thanks, Maxim. Keep me informed.”
“Yez, Miztress.” Maxim nodded to Adam and Lilith and withdrew.
Lilith rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Klaus used C-gas on you, didn’t he, when he first arrived at the shop and took you and....”
“Von Zinzer,” Agatha confirmed. “He did.”
“And now his son is using weapons less incapacitating than that.”
“Still... non-le-thal,” Adam observed.
“I’ve seen his lightning weapons, though,” Agatha confessed. “They are amazing. Accurate, too-I doubt there’s any risk of the infantry getting fried, especially if the Knights of Jove surrender as readily to Tarvek as they did to Gil the first time.”
Lilith chuckled. “Listen to you, Agatha. Your father and uncle would be so proud.”
Adam nodded. “Yes. They... would.”
Agatha felt herself blush. “Well, I hope so. I do want to do the right thing, to live up to their example.”
“And I’m certain you will, because you already have.” Lilith kissed Agatha’s forehead as she had ever since Agatha was little. “But now I think we’d better get some rest if we’re going to have any hope at all of Sun allowing us to attend the funeral tomorrow.”
Agatha nodded. “All right. I’ll let you know if anything comes up.” With that, she hugged both Adam and Lilith-Adam twice, because she’d been sitting with Lilith-and left the hospital, Jägers and Violetta in tow.
“I still can’t get over it,” Violetta said. “The Punch and Judy were your guardians.”
Agatha shot her an amused look. “Why is that so surprising? You know who I am now.”
“Yeah, but... they’re so different from the Heterodyne Boys books.”
“It explains some things for me, though. They always hated the ones they were in, and that’s probably why.”
The conversation was interrupted as they were met by Sleipnir, charging toward Agatha in a towering Irish fury. “This is your fault, colleen!” she thundered in English. “Your cousin, your project-YOU talk to him!”
“What did I do?!” Agatha replied in the same language. “And who am I talking to?”
“Theo! He’s shut himself up in your cursed spark asylum, says he’s got something to finish and it’s got to be done tonight, and he won’t even let me help!”
“Whaaat?” That was uncharacteristic for Theo-yes, like any spark, he could be single-minded, but a kinder, sweeter soul never lived. Agatha certainly couldn’t imagine him shutting out his own wife. “I didn’t ask him to do anything with the spark asylum. Why won’t he let you help?”
“I don’t know! He just-” Sleipnir jammed her hands into her hair and started ranting in Irish.
“Hoy, hoy!” Dimo interrupted, waving his arms. “Ve ken’t onderstand hyu!”
“Cad é atá....” Sleipnir caught herself, and suddenly the fire went out of her and she slumped a little with a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, Agatha.”
“It’s all right,” Agatha replied, closing the distance between them to put a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “What’s happened?”
“He won’t come out. He’s missed lunch, and he’s about to miss supper. And I... I tried to go in to drag him away and make him eat, but...” Sleipnir looked Agatha in the eye and finally let the depth of her worry show in her eyes. “The door won’t open. It’s not locked. It’s not jammed. It’s not barred or blocked that I can see. It just won’t open. It doesn’t even rattle when I bang on it. And I can’t break the glass, either.”
Agatha felt her blood run cold. In the castle, such things might not be so odd, but the asylum, like the hospital and cathedral, was an intentional dead zone-the castle could repair the exterior fabric of the building if needed, but it had no sensors inside and no control over the interior. “What’s he doing?”
Sleipnir shook her head. “I don’t know. Marking something on the walls in invisible ink, last I looked. Blessed if I know why-the lab was empty.”
Agatha swallowed hard. “Show me.”
“He’s been odd the last few days,” Sleipnir explained as she led Agatha and her protectors out of the hospital. “He’d been talking with Castiel before that, you know, while we were still building the place. Seems Gadreel had some idea of fixing up virtual laboratories where the sparks could work but not hurt anyone. Theo was trying to sort out how to make such a thing work. But Saturday night he started having strange dreams. I caught him sleepwalking a time or two, heard him muttering in his sleep, but I couldn’t understand-it sounded like Hindi. Sunday he spent almost all day at the cathedral. Monday he was writing all day, but he wouldn’t let me see his notes. Yesterday he went to the market looking for herbs. And now....”
Agatha looked over her shoulder. “Maxim, go get Castiel.”
“Yez, Miztress,” Maxim replied and loped off in another direction.
“This doesn’t sound like the Spark,” Agatha continued, returning her attention to Sleipnir. “Or at least, not just the Spark. Have you ever heard him speak Hindi before?”
“No,” Sleipnir replied. “I mean, I knew he can; his father’s journal is in the Devangari script, and he said his parents raised him multilingual. But this... it almost sounded like he was talking to someone, or answering someone. Just short phrases, you know?”
“Hmm. He can’t have been wasped-we made sure of that Thursday night. And it’s awfully delayed to be a reaction to the inoculation formula.”
“Nobody else has reacted that way that we’ve seen.”
Fervently wishing the Winchesters were there, Agatha followed Sleipnir into the asylum and down to the labs, which were underground for security. Someone-Theo, probably, given that he’d evidently taken over the project when Agatha wasn’t looking-had arranged for each lab door to have a narrow window with reinforced glass, presumably to let the asylum staff keep an eye on the experimenting sparks. That was a wise idea, as far as it went, but all it meant at the moment was that Agatha and Sleipnir got to the door of the last lab on the right in time to see Theo press against a cut on his wrist, making it bleed, and let the blood drip into a metal bowl that was sitting in the middle of a table in the middle of the otherwise empty lab.
“What the devil is he doing?!” Sleipnir gasped.
Agatha tried the door. It didn’t budge. Theo bound his wrist with an already stained handkerchief and murmured something Agatha couldn’t hear.
Agatha pounded on the door. “Theo? THEO?!”
Still murmuring, Theo struck a match and held it over the bowl.
“NO!” Agatha and Sleipnir cried.
Theo dropped the match, and flames erupted from the bowl as if it had been filled with gunpowder. Agatha stepped back and kicked at the door-
-and stumbled through as the door swung open of its own accord.
Sleipnir pushed past her to where Theo was lying on the floor. “Theo?! Theo, mo chroi-”
“Nnnnngh,” Theo groaned and put a hand to his head as Sleipnir helped him sit up. “That’s it. That’s the last one.”
“What were you thinking?!”
“There was... no other way... to make it... make it permanent.” Theo was still breathing hard.
Agatha turned to Violetta. “Can you-”
“Yes, my lady,” Violetta replied and went to put a healing balm on Theo’s wrist and bandage it properly.
“I’m sorry, darling,” Theo told Sleipnir, resting his head against her shoulder. “I couldn’t explain. There wasn’t time. People... people are coming tomorrow to... to see. I had to do it now.”
“Were you looking to get committed here yourself?!” Sleipnir chided.
“No, it’s... it’s really, really complicated, and I’m not just saying that because... you’re not a spark. You know I love you and I think you’re brilliant, but-just... trust me, I couldn’t have figured this out on my own. And I wouldn’t have gone through with it if... if I could have done it a different way.”
“Do what, Theo?” Agatha prompted.
“The virtual labs. Look, get... get Slaghammer, he’s-”
“HOY!” Oggie hollered, and there was a scuffle in the hall.
“What’s going on here?” Agatha demanded as she stepped back out into the hall to find Oggie and Dimo restraining none other than the wild-eyed, wild-haired Dr. Igneous Slaghammer, one of the sparks who’d voluntarily committed himself to the asylum.
“YOU!” Slaghammer yelled, pointing at Agatha. “Heterodyne! I was promised laboratory time-give it to me, or I shall level this town with my beautiful claw!” (Said mechanical claw was one of the first devices Agatha had confiscated from the asylum-seekers. She was pretty sure it couldn’t level a town.)
Two nurses charged down the hall toward him. “We’re sorry, Lady Heterodyne,” one of them began.
Agatha held up a hand. “No, no, wait.” She turned back to Theo. “You’re sure they’re all ready?”
Theo nodded. “Take your choice.”
Agatha nodded back and went to the lab next door, turning up the lights to reveal an identical, though mirrored, layout that was equally furnished but unstocked. There wasn’t even any glassware to be seen. You’d better be right about this, cousin, she thought as she stepped back. “Here you are, Dr. Slaghammer. This lab appears to be free.”
Oggie and Dimo let Slaghammer go, and he approached the lab door warily. But as soon as he crossed the threshold, he gasped loudly, and his eyes went wide in awe. “This... this is for me?!”
“Erm. Yes.”
Still staring open-mouthed, Slaghammer wandered slowly through the lab, easily maneuvering around the tables that were present and running his fingers over equipment that... wasn’t. He was nearly in tears when he made his way back to the door and fell to his knees in front of Agatha. “My lady-gracious beyond words-I am your humble servant ever!”
Agatha blinked. “You’re welcome? Uh, have fun.”
Slaghammer nodded, pulled himself together with a visible effort, stood, and hurried to a table to begin building something only he could see. Agatha pulled the door shut behind him, and it locked automatically.
“Only a spark who is truly unhinged can use these labs,” Theo said quietly, and Agatha turned to find that he and Sleipnir and Violetta had come out into the hall at last. “There are lesser types of mental illness, of course, perhaps difficult to live with but not enough to make the man a danger to himself or to others. Those thus afflicted won’t meet the conditions. But if the spark is truly mad, no matter which room he enters, he will find the lab of his dreams. Quite literally. And the walls are soundproof, so the sparks won’t even disturb each other while they’re ‘working.’” He gestured toward the window into Slaghammer’s lab. “Any relatively sane person, spark or not, will see the labs as they truly are-empty.”
“It’s like Venthraxus Heterodyne’s kitchen,” Agatha realized, recalling the small kitchen her ancestor had built to contain his favorite chef when said chef had gone mad and started poisoning people. “Only there’s no food for the spark to poison, so he can’t even poison himself by accident. But what if he tried, or thought he’d built a doomsday device and set it off or something?”
Theo shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t think he’d die, but I don’t know what would happen. Maybe... maybe the shock of not dying would open the door for better treatment.”
“I still don’t like what it took,” Sleipnir stated. “And you should have said something so I wouldn’t panic. But I don’t suppose I can argue with the results.”
“I am sorry for panicking you. Make it up to you after supper?”
“You’d better.”
He kissed her, and Violetta huffed and rolled her eyes.
“Hy tink mebbe ve better go,” said Dimo.
“I agree,” said Agatha and, with an apologetic smile for the nurses, led the way back upstairs.
The six of them had just stepped outside when Maxim and Castiel ran up. “Lady Heterodyne!” Castiel gasped. “What happened?”
“Well, I’m not entirely sure,” Agatha confessed. “But everything’s all right now. Theo set up the virtual labs you suggested.”
Castiel blinked at her, then looked at Theo’s wrist and the bowl Violetta was carrying and promptly charged into the asylum.
“Vot der dumboozle?” Maxim asked.
Agatha could only shrug.
A minute or two later, Castiel came back out at a much slower pace, frowning in apparent confusion. “May I?” he asked Violetta and took the bowl from her to examine.
“Is something wrong?” Sleipnir prompted.
“Not exactly.” Still frowning, Castiel handed the bowl back to Violetta. “There’s so much I can’t sense anymore. There are marks of all this that are familiar, but... how it could be possible... I just can’t be sure.”
“Are we in any danger?” Violetta asked.
Castiel shook his head. “No, no, what danger there was is past. Forgive me; I don’t even know how much I ought to explain. But Theo, how did you know what to do?”
“I-” Theo blinked. “I don’t remember.” At Castiel’s look of alarm, he held up a hand. “No, no, I mean I remember doing it, and I know I had conscious control of myself while I was going through the steps, but how I knew them... it’s fading, like I’ve just woken up from a dream. There was a long explanation that made sense at the time, but I can’t recall what it was now. I took notes, though, if you’d like to see them.”
“No, that’s not necessary. The pages may be blank by now anyway.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Never mind. Thank you.”
Don’t worry, kiddo, an unfamiliar voice whispered into Agatha’s mind suddenly, causing her to miss whatever was being said next. Everything’s okay. I’m here to help.
“Agatha?” Sleipnir prompted.
Agatha blinked. “What?”
“We’re going.”
“Ah, right, going, yes.” Still rather unsettled, Agatha hurried to join her friends on the way back to the castle.
And she wasn’t at all sure whether to be reassured by the chocolate trilobite she found on her pillow when she went to bed that night, although she ate it anyway and didn’t suffer any ill effects.
Thursday was as difficult a day as Agatha had feared, from Gil and Tarvek arriving with Gadreel and the Winchesters by car, followed by the Jäger horde, to the thousands of people who swarmed into town and into the cathedral to pay their last respects to the baron and to give their regards to his children and Agatha. It was a good service, all things considered, and she was glad to be able to give her support to Gil and Zeetha, but she was glad to have Adam and Lilith there to support her along with all of their other friends. Gil’s grief, in particular, was palpable, and even the Winchesters seemed to be remembering losses of their own. Theo had been right, too; quite a few dignitaries wanted a tour of the spark asylum-or rather, the Mechanicsburg Home for Troubled Sparks, as the sign above the door now proclaimed. Van took charge of that, fortunately, and managed to impress everyone who needed to be impressed. That left Agatha free to eat with her friends and family, spend some time with Tarvek before he needed to fly back to Sturmhalten with his Smoke Knights and Gadreel, and go with Gil to walk Adam and Lilith back to the hospital and chat with them for a bit before Dr. Sun insisted they needed to rest. The walk back to the castle was slow, and although they were arm in arm, Gil kept Agatha’s hand covered with his own the whole way.
After supper, though, when everything had calmed down and most of the visitors, including Tarvek, had left, Gil asked Agatha quietly if they could just sit somewhere for a while.
Agatha looked up at him, worried. “Alone, or....”
Gil shook his head. “Doesn’t matter.”
So she found a parlor with a nice view of the sunset and left the door open as they sat down together on the sofa, his arm around her and her head on his shoulder, just taking comfort in each other’s presence. Krosp wandered in after a few minutes and curled up in an armchair. Zeetha wandered in a few minutes later and sat down on the floor on the other side of Agatha. The Winchesters and Violetta came in sometime after that, and the Jägers trickled in last of all and closed the door. And still nobody spoke for a long time.
Agatha was nearly asleep when Zeetha drew a deep breath and turned to Dean. “So. How’d things go with Leopold?”
“Hm?” Dean replied. “Oh. Nothin’ to it. He was in the first clank Tarvek fried. Rest of ’em surrendered as soon as they came to. Some of the troops actually admitted to knowing they were revenants, too, so the spray plan worked out.”
“Good,” Agatha said. “I thought it would.”
Gil smiled and pressed his cheek against the top of her head, and silence fell again for a long moment.
“Mistress,” the castle suddenly said urgently. “Something approaches-I’m not sure what or how-”
It was interrupted when the door opened and a petite lady with short red hair poked her head through. “Is this the right room for an argument?”
Almost before Agatha knew what was happening, Dean was on his feet and sweeping the newcomer off her feet into a bear hug, joyful growl and all. She laughed as he spun her around and set her down; then she hurried past him to give Sam an equally warm hug, though he didn’t pick her up. Meanwhile, a host of little people-all around Krosp’s size-handed what were presumably the lady’s bags and trunk through the portal from a plaza paved with yellow brick to the bemused Jägers. That done, the little people closed the door, and a flare of light around the doorframe proclaimed the unexpected portal closed.
“Sweet mother of steampunk,” the lady said as Sam finally let her go and she looked around the room. “You guys, I was totally jealous when Sheriff Mills filled me in. I love Girl Genius!”
“Why does that not surprise me?” Sam teased.
“Excuse me,” Agatha spoke up. “Would someone-”
“Right, right,” Dean interrupted and put an arm around the lady’s shoulders. “Everyone, this is Charlie... the little sister I never had.”
“Awww,” said Charlie, leaning into the side hug. “I missed you, too, Dean.”
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