Fic : Second Chance (PG) | Sarah Jane | 4/?
Title : Second Chance
Author : Jen
Rating : PG at the moment, possibly higher in later parts.
Summary : Sarah would give anything to see Peter one last time. With a little help from the Universe and the Doctor, she may just get her wish.
Spoilers : fair game for everything up to and including "The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith" from S3.
Notes : this is where it all kicks off. And I will say this before you read it - this is my fic and I will do what I will with it!
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
~~
As she stretched out, keeping her eyes screwed shut against the sun peering in through the curtains, she immediately sensed something was wrong. For one thing, her right foot shot out from under the covers, as if it were on the edge of the bed. Which was weird because her left hand was resting on the edge of the mattress on that side. Her eyes snapped open and she sat up, quickly taking in the single bed she'd woken up in before the small and functional room that surrounded her.
Not her room, not her house.
Very carefully she climbed out of the bed and walked over to the window. Pulling back the curtains a little she saw streets and streets of terraced houses in front of her, a city but definitely not London. Carefully pushing the window open she detected the faint smack of salt on the air; a coastal city then.
"Luke!" she said on instinct, and turned towards the door. Quite what she planned to do she didn't know, but she'd been transported from her home then maybe Luke had been too.
But as she turned from the window any plan that had been forming stopped along with her mind and body as she caught sight of her reflection in the full length mirror in the corner.
"But..." she began, taking a few careful steps towards it.
The young woman in the mirror moved closer too.
Sarah lifted her arm - the woman in the mirror copying her exactly - as she touched her face. The soft, smooth skin of her youth was evident from touch as well as sight, and then the memory returned suddenly, as if she were remembering a dream.
Realising it was not Croydon... walking a few streets... hearing the Scottish accents... asking a local who clearly thought she was still drunk after a big night out... calling the Brig...
...and the little B&B she'd booked into for her first night back on Earth in years. The tiny single bed, the small window which looked out over the City, east facing so of course the sun streamed in first thing.
And this reflection. Her reflection. Sarah Jane Smith, aged 29 years old, left behind on Earth because she couldn't go to Gallifrey, stared back at the woman who had gone to bed the night before as a much older, pseudo-widow to a man she'd never really met.
"But..." she began, reaching out to touch the surface of the mirror.
The 29-year old Sarah Jane did the same, their fingers meeting on the cold glass.
"I'm dreaming," they both mouthed before being startled by a knock on the door.
Cautiously, Sarah walked over and opened it to find the friendly old woman who she remembered as taking pity on the "poor London girl" who'd been cruelly dumped by her boyfriend in a city she didn't know.
"I have those train times for you," the old woman purred in her Scottish accent. "There's a couple leaving this morning that'll get you back in London by tonight if you're quick enough."
Sarah racked her memory for what had happened that morning, and she smiled as it became as clear as if it had been yesterday.
"Thank you so much, Mrs Donaldson."
"How many times, dear, it's Katherine," the older woman smiled. "If you're wanting I can get my David to give you a lift to the station?"
"That would be great, thank you," Sarah said. "I'll give you my address for the bill."
"Oh dear, that's already taken care of."
Of course, Sarah realised, Sir Alistair had sorted this. He'll have also covered her ticket she remembered, right before making a note not to call him Sir Alistair should she see him again.
"I can't thank you enough for this," she said, taking the slip of paper from her host.
"Well I couldn't leave you out there to freeze, could I now? You just promise me that should you run into that man of yours you'll have nothing to do with him."
"I don't think I'll be seeing him again," Sarah said sadly, with a bit more conviction than she'd done the first time.
"I should hope not, what kind of gentleman abandons his girl in a strange city?" Katherine shook her head and smiled. "I'll pop some breakfast on for you now, dear, let you get dressed."
"Thank you so much," Sarah said, pushing the door shut when Katherine had gone.
This could not be happening. This was not real. There was no way she'd gone back in time to this. It was not 1981, she was not in Aberdeen, and this was not happening.
~~
On the train back to London, Sarah realised that this was happening. For whatever reason she had gone back. Maybe it was real, maybe The Doctor had given her this chance, but that wouldn't explain her appearance. She was on the verge of her thirtieth birthday (which she'd spent convinced that the Doctor would crash back into her life and whisk her off somewhere exotic to celebrate - in reality her aunt had come to her flat with a plain store-bought cake and they'd had a cup of tea) and this was really happening.
Going through it logically, she couldn't have just been brought back in time. For one, returning to your past didn't reverse the effects of ageing. She'd still be on the verge of her sixtieth, so that was one strike against. However, she remembered everything of her past - this future. She knew Alistair and Harry would be waiting for her at the station to surprise her. She knew that she'd spend the next few years hanging around UNIT, always ready for when - if - the Doctor came back for her.
What if time had reset itself? For whatever reason the last thirty years had been wiped from existence and she was going to live it all over again? Was she the only one who remembered? Would Harry and Alistair greet her at the station, knowing she was now expecting them, and UNIT would be deep in discussion over what to do now?
"Is anyone sat here?"
A voice broke into her train of thought and Sarah looked up, already shaking her head. She was going to say something, but her voice died in her throat as the woman who sat across from her was the fortune teller she'd been to see a few days before. Or in thirty years' time, depending on how you looked at it.
"Lovely day, Sarah Jane," the woman said.
"What's happened to me?" Sarah asked.
"The end of your journey and the start of a new one. Just as I saw."
"This can't happen. You don't just wake up and find yourself in your past."
"Yet this is what has happened," the fortune teller said. "You have your chance."
"What chance?"
"To have what you wanted. In your dreams."
"What...?" she began.
"You dreamt of a life with him, did you not? You wanted time with him. Now you have that time. You have it all. And you remember, just as I said."
"What have you done to me?" Sarah asked, struggling to keep her voice to a low hiss.
"I've done nothing. I can't control what happens, I just prepare you for it."
"If you want me to change the timeline then I won't. I've seen what happens."
"I'm not the Trickster," the woman said as the thought floated in Sarah's mind. "I have no interest in the outcome of this... adventure."
"Then what do you want?"
"To help you. I could sense your confusion…"
Sarah paused for a moment to take in the woman's attire. "You're not really here, are you?" she realised.
"Yes and no. Don't worry, people won't think you're talking to yourself, but I am not in 1981 with you."
"Then how...?"
"There is a link between what you would call your present and today. The gift from a friend?"
It took Sarah a moment to realise. "The dream catcher."
The woman nodded. "You dreamt of this, Sarah. It merely obliged."
"And sent me back? Why?"
"Do you know how close you came to meeting Peter before?"
"How do you know his name?" Sarah challenged.
"This would be a lot easier if you'd just listen to me," she sighed. "I know you're sceptical and worried and cautious, but just listen for a moment. When you returned to London, you were so close to each other. It would take nothing for a slight move to allow you to meet.
"You wanted time with him, even if it was just for a little while."
"I can't change the past," Sarah protested. "Last time I was... tempted..."
"I understand that things have been… difficult in the past, Sarah Jane, but this is not like that at all. The dream maker is..."
"Dream catcher," Sarah corrected.
The fortune teller cocked an eyebrow. "Really? Do you think that it just caught your dream?"
"...so this is all my fault?"
"This is of your doing, yes, but fault?"
"Who else knows...?"
"Just you," the teller replied. "This is your world, of your making."
"So it's not real..."
"As real as any world is."
"What about Luke? My son..."
"Will not exist for many years."
"This is too much..." Sarah sighed, sitting back in her seat. "I don't know what..."
"I understand your hesitation, I really do. But this is not the same as before. You have your chance, to go back and make the changes you want. You can make that change, you can… fix it."
"And what will happen if I do?" Sarah asked. "If I... Everything changes around it."
"Peter exists in this world. All you would be changing is your relationship with him."
"It doesn't work like that. I know, I've seen what can happen."
"The choice is yours, Sarah. You have this chance and it's up to you what you do with it."
"I won't risk the world just for something I want," she said defiantly.
"Sarah, the dream maker has done this for you. Not for chaos, not for any ulterior motive, for you." She sighed gently. "You are a hard woman to convince, Miss Smith. So many knocks, so many disappointments. So many times you have been used and lied to by the people you trust and care for the most."
"So I'm cautious."
"Some would say reserved. Suspicious."
"Careful. Respectful."
"Afraid."
"I'm not afraid," Sarah challenged.
"You have a chance to be happy. The Universe is giving you that."
"The Universe protects itself," she said, echoing the Doctor's words. "If I stop him..."
"From what?" the teller asked. "If you meet him then your lives will take a different path."
"I can't change the world for what I want," she said.
"Sometimes you don't have a choice."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I see... your decision leads to one being taken out of your hands."
"I've heard enough," Sarah said, gathering her things and preparing to move seats.
"Please, Sarah," the teller said, her hand shooting out to prevent the other woman from leaving. "I don't have much time left."
"I'm not listening to any more of this," she said.
"You asked for one more chance. What if this is it? Your one chance? A meeting of two strangers who enjoy each other's company. You wanted just a few hours…"
"And is that it? Is that what I have?" Sarah asked, sitting back down. "A chance for a few hours?"
"I don't know. As I said before, things have been decided but they keep changing."
"I can't mess about with time, it's too important."
"And yet here you are, thirty years in your past, with the knowledge of what is yet to come. Who could do that? Not the Trickster, not even your Doctor. This is something else, Sarah Jane, something much bigger. Maybe some things have to change?"
The teller slid out of her seat and stood in the aisle. "It was nice to see you again, Miss Smith. I wish you all the happiness you deserve." She smiled in a knowing way. "He is waiting for you. A bar with your name on it. Lunchtime, tomorrow."
"I can't meet him," Sarah said, but her conviction was already wavering. This body may have been of her younger self, but her heart was the same and it still ached with love and grief.
Taking a deep breath she looked down at her hands. "I can't do it. I don't have that right."
"I'm sorry, miss?"
Sarah looked up at the puzzled face of the train guard, her fortune teller nowhere in sight.
"It's nothing," she said. "Just talking to myself."
tbc...
Author : Jen
Rating : PG at the moment, possibly higher in later parts.
Summary : Sarah would give anything to see Peter one last time. With a little help from the Universe and the Doctor, she may just get her wish.
Spoilers : fair game for everything up to and including "The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith" from S3.
Notes : this is where it all kicks off. And I will say this before you read it - this is my fic and I will do what I will with it!
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
~~
As she stretched out, keeping her eyes screwed shut against the sun peering in through the curtains, she immediately sensed something was wrong. For one thing, her right foot shot out from under the covers, as if it were on the edge of the bed. Which was weird because her left hand was resting on the edge of the mattress on that side. Her eyes snapped open and she sat up, quickly taking in the single bed she'd woken up in before the small and functional room that surrounded her.
Not her room, not her house.
Very carefully she climbed out of the bed and walked over to the window. Pulling back the curtains a little she saw streets and streets of terraced houses in front of her, a city but definitely not London. Carefully pushing the window open she detected the faint smack of salt on the air; a coastal city then.
"Luke!" she said on instinct, and turned towards the door. Quite what she planned to do she didn't know, but she'd been transported from her home then maybe Luke had been too.
But as she turned from the window any plan that had been forming stopped along with her mind and body as she caught sight of her reflection in the full length mirror in the corner.
"But..." she began, taking a few careful steps towards it.
The young woman in the mirror moved closer too.
Sarah lifted her arm - the woman in the mirror copying her exactly - as she touched her face. The soft, smooth skin of her youth was evident from touch as well as sight, and then the memory returned suddenly, as if she were remembering a dream.
Realising it was not Croydon... walking a few streets... hearing the Scottish accents... asking a local who clearly thought she was still drunk after a big night out... calling the Brig...
...and the little B&B she'd booked into for her first night back on Earth in years. The tiny single bed, the small window which looked out over the City, east facing so of course the sun streamed in first thing.
And this reflection. Her reflection. Sarah Jane Smith, aged 29 years old, left behind on Earth because she couldn't go to Gallifrey, stared back at the woman who had gone to bed the night before as a much older, pseudo-widow to a man she'd never really met.
"But..." she began, reaching out to touch the surface of the mirror.
The 29-year old Sarah Jane did the same, their fingers meeting on the cold glass.
"I'm dreaming," they both mouthed before being startled by a knock on the door.
Cautiously, Sarah walked over and opened it to find the friendly old woman who she remembered as taking pity on the "poor London girl" who'd been cruelly dumped by her boyfriend in a city she didn't know.
"I have those train times for you," the old woman purred in her Scottish accent. "There's a couple leaving this morning that'll get you back in London by tonight if you're quick enough."
Sarah racked her memory for what had happened that morning, and she smiled as it became as clear as if it had been yesterday.
"Thank you so much, Mrs Donaldson."
"How many times, dear, it's Katherine," the older woman smiled. "If you're wanting I can get my David to give you a lift to the station?"
"That would be great, thank you," Sarah said. "I'll give you my address for the bill."
"Oh dear, that's already taken care of."
Of course, Sarah realised, Sir Alistair had sorted this. He'll have also covered her ticket she remembered, right before making a note not to call him Sir Alistair should she see him again.
"I can't thank you enough for this," she said, taking the slip of paper from her host.
"Well I couldn't leave you out there to freeze, could I now? You just promise me that should you run into that man of yours you'll have nothing to do with him."
"I don't think I'll be seeing him again," Sarah said sadly, with a bit more conviction than she'd done the first time.
"I should hope not, what kind of gentleman abandons his girl in a strange city?" Katherine shook her head and smiled. "I'll pop some breakfast on for you now, dear, let you get dressed."
"Thank you so much," Sarah said, pushing the door shut when Katherine had gone.
This could not be happening. This was not real. There was no way she'd gone back in time to this. It was not 1981, she was not in Aberdeen, and this was not happening.
~~
On the train back to London, Sarah realised that this was happening. For whatever reason she had gone back. Maybe it was real, maybe The Doctor had given her this chance, but that wouldn't explain her appearance. She was on the verge of her thirtieth birthday (which she'd spent convinced that the Doctor would crash back into her life and whisk her off somewhere exotic to celebrate - in reality her aunt had come to her flat with a plain store-bought cake and they'd had a cup of tea) and this was really happening.
Going through it logically, she couldn't have just been brought back in time. For one, returning to your past didn't reverse the effects of ageing. She'd still be on the verge of her sixtieth, so that was one strike against. However, she remembered everything of her past - this future. She knew Alistair and Harry would be waiting for her at the station to surprise her. She knew that she'd spend the next few years hanging around UNIT, always ready for when - if - the Doctor came back for her.
What if time had reset itself? For whatever reason the last thirty years had been wiped from existence and she was going to live it all over again? Was she the only one who remembered? Would Harry and Alistair greet her at the station, knowing she was now expecting them, and UNIT would be deep in discussion over what to do now?
"Is anyone sat here?"
A voice broke into her train of thought and Sarah looked up, already shaking her head. She was going to say something, but her voice died in her throat as the woman who sat across from her was the fortune teller she'd been to see a few days before. Or in thirty years' time, depending on how you looked at it.
"Lovely day, Sarah Jane," the woman said.
"What's happened to me?" Sarah asked.
"The end of your journey and the start of a new one. Just as I saw."
"This can't happen. You don't just wake up and find yourself in your past."
"Yet this is what has happened," the fortune teller said. "You have your chance."
"What chance?"
"To have what you wanted. In your dreams."
"What...?" she began.
"You dreamt of a life with him, did you not? You wanted time with him. Now you have that time. You have it all. And you remember, just as I said."
"What have you done to me?" Sarah asked, struggling to keep her voice to a low hiss.
"I've done nothing. I can't control what happens, I just prepare you for it."
"If you want me to change the timeline then I won't. I've seen what happens."
"I'm not the Trickster," the woman said as the thought floated in Sarah's mind. "I have no interest in the outcome of this... adventure."
"Then what do you want?"
"To help you. I could sense your confusion…"
Sarah paused for a moment to take in the woman's attire. "You're not really here, are you?" she realised.
"Yes and no. Don't worry, people won't think you're talking to yourself, but I am not in 1981 with you."
"Then how...?"
"There is a link between what you would call your present and today. The gift from a friend?"
It took Sarah a moment to realise. "The dream catcher."
The woman nodded. "You dreamt of this, Sarah. It merely obliged."
"And sent me back? Why?"
"Do you know how close you came to meeting Peter before?"
"How do you know his name?" Sarah challenged.
"This would be a lot easier if you'd just listen to me," she sighed. "I know you're sceptical and worried and cautious, but just listen for a moment. When you returned to London, you were so close to each other. It would take nothing for a slight move to allow you to meet.
"You wanted time with him, even if it was just for a little while."
"I can't change the past," Sarah protested. "Last time I was... tempted..."
"I understand that things have been… difficult in the past, Sarah Jane, but this is not like that at all. The dream maker is..."
"Dream catcher," Sarah corrected.
The fortune teller cocked an eyebrow. "Really? Do you think that it just caught your dream?"
"...so this is all my fault?"
"This is of your doing, yes, but fault?"
"Who else knows...?"
"Just you," the teller replied. "This is your world, of your making."
"So it's not real..."
"As real as any world is."
"What about Luke? My son..."
"Will not exist for many years."
"This is too much..." Sarah sighed, sitting back in her seat. "I don't know what..."
"I understand your hesitation, I really do. But this is not the same as before. You have your chance, to go back and make the changes you want. You can make that change, you can… fix it."
"And what will happen if I do?" Sarah asked. "If I... Everything changes around it."
"Peter exists in this world. All you would be changing is your relationship with him."
"It doesn't work like that. I know, I've seen what can happen."
"The choice is yours, Sarah. You have this chance and it's up to you what you do with it."
"I won't risk the world just for something I want," she said defiantly.
"Sarah, the dream maker has done this for you. Not for chaos, not for any ulterior motive, for you." She sighed gently. "You are a hard woman to convince, Miss Smith. So many knocks, so many disappointments. So many times you have been used and lied to by the people you trust and care for the most."
"So I'm cautious."
"Some would say reserved. Suspicious."
"Careful. Respectful."
"Afraid."
"I'm not afraid," Sarah challenged.
"You have a chance to be happy. The Universe is giving you that."
"The Universe protects itself," she said, echoing the Doctor's words. "If I stop him..."
"From what?" the teller asked. "If you meet him then your lives will take a different path."
"I can't change the world for what I want," she said.
"Sometimes you don't have a choice."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I see... your decision leads to one being taken out of your hands."
"I've heard enough," Sarah said, gathering her things and preparing to move seats.
"Please, Sarah," the teller said, her hand shooting out to prevent the other woman from leaving. "I don't have much time left."
"I'm not listening to any more of this," she said.
"You asked for one more chance. What if this is it? Your one chance? A meeting of two strangers who enjoy each other's company. You wanted just a few hours…"
"And is that it? Is that what I have?" Sarah asked, sitting back down. "A chance for a few hours?"
"I don't know. As I said before, things have been decided but they keep changing."
"I can't mess about with time, it's too important."
"And yet here you are, thirty years in your past, with the knowledge of what is yet to come. Who could do that? Not the Trickster, not even your Doctor. This is something else, Sarah Jane, something much bigger. Maybe some things have to change?"
The teller slid out of her seat and stood in the aisle. "It was nice to see you again, Miss Smith. I wish you all the happiness you deserve." She smiled in a knowing way. "He is waiting for you. A bar with your name on it. Lunchtime, tomorrow."
"I can't meet him," Sarah said, but her conviction was already wavering. This body may have been of her younger self, but her heart was the same and it still ached with love and grief.
Taking a deep breath she looked down at her hands. "I can't do it. I don't have that right."
"I'm sorry, miss?"
Sarah looked up at the puzzled face of the train guard, her fortune teller nowhere in sight.
"It's nothing," she said. "Just talking to myself."
tbc...