I Only Want To Be With You (R)
Hey guys! This one came to me just about two hours ago. :P I've been wanting to write something since I heard about Justin's split with Jessica (which, really, I kind of saw coming...) so here it is! Sorry about any weirdness within it, it's like 3am (excellent excuse, I know). I was also feeling kind of sappy at the time. :P The title is from the song (of the same name) by Hootie and the Blowfish, which has been stuck in my head ALL DAY. :)
Hope y'all enjoy!
edit: Sorry guys, I guess LJ doesn't translate well from Word... I fixed the wonky spacing :)
I Only Want To Be With You
Pairing: JC/Justin
Rating: R (for language)
Word Count: 1,401
Summary: Justin calls JC after his breakup with Jessica.
The home phone rang obnoxiously in the kitchen.
JC grunted in annoyance and picked himself off of the couch, jogging to the other room. He picked up the phone with a short, “Hello?” There was silence for a few seconds. JC swore he heard sniffling on the other end, a distantly familiar sound… He waded through his foggy memory until it snapped into clear sight.
“Justin?”
“Josh,” he finally whispered, sounding pathetic and slightly slurred. “Josh… I missed you.”
He hadn’t been called Josh by anyone outside his family for a long time. It threw him off for a few beats, as well as the fact that it was Justin on the other end. Justin, who hadn’t spoken to him for so long he had almost forgotten the sound of his voice. Justin, the man he had stormed out on looking as pathetic as he sounded now with tears of rejection in his eyes. And they hadn’t talked since.
Until now.
“Josh, are you there?”
“What do you want, Justin?” JC sounded tired, bone-weary; he couldn’t even find it in himself to be angry anymore.
“I missed you,” he repeated, and JC could see the dopey, buzzed smile Justin was surely wearing as clear as if he were right in front of him.
“I know. Is that all you wanted to tell me? I’m kind of busy.”
Justin laughed and it made something in JC clench painfully, longingly.
“No, you’re not. You’re watching Idol, I can hear it in the background,” Justin said and JC could feel the warmth in his tone.
“Justin…” JC pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to feel angry or annoyed or irritated or something besides this fond, loving feeling he had for Justin he thought he had gotten rid of so long ago.
“It’s over,” The warmth in Justin’s voice had been totally sucked dry. JC could feel the dark seriousness take over the conversation, and he mourned the loss. But this was what he had wanted, wasn’t it?
“What’s over, J?” He hadn’t meant for the endearment to slip out. He supposed he was still conditioned to react this way to Justin’s sadness. Justin somehow made everyone automatically want to jump hoops for him, whether he meant to or not. It had been part of why JC had distanced himself from his best friend.
“Jessica. She-“
There was silence for several beats, but then Justin laughed so suddenly it made JC jump. There was a shade of hysteria to it and that something in JC clenched again, but not in fondness.
“Justin, are you-“
“We’re over. She-she thinks I’m cheating. Everyone thinks I’m cheating. I mean, Mila’s a great girl, but-“
He laughed again, a short bark of disbelief.
“J, have you been drinking?” JC tried again.
Justin continued his soliloquy as if he hadn’t spoken.
“I don’t want her. How could they think I would want her? There’s only one person. I’ve been trying to lie to myself so long. It’s not working anymore. Jessica knew it was a lie, but it was never Mila. Never her. Never them.”
JC felt almost frantic now and was pacing up and down his kitchen floor. He tried to tell himself it was because he was afraid for his friend. He had never been as good at deceiving himself as Justin had.
“It’s always been-“Justin took a deep breath, as if he was steeling himself. JC tensed.
“Justin, don’t…”
“…You.”
JC sucked in a breath and held it, so many thoughts whirling through his head that he couldn’t focus on one. Only one word glared out from the jumbled pile.
“Why?”
Justin laughed again, this time low and sad. There was a pause in which each man listened to the other breathe, one slow and even and the other fast and shallow.
“Honestly, Josh? I don’t know. I just know that I’ve wasted almost 15 years of my life trying to make myself believe I wanted something different and failing each time. And at the same time I was ruining every chance I got to make myself happy. I guess… I don’t know, I guess I’m just tired of ruining it, so I’m taking this chance. I’m not letting it go for anything.”
“Justin. I can’t-“JC started, but the words wouldn’t come. He sighed and let the silence fall over them again.
“I know I screwed up last time. I know you’re still angry with me. I hated myself after that. I never wanted it to be like that, Josh, you have to believe me…”
JC tensed again as his memory decided to present him the memory in bright HD quality. He could still remember the stale smell of alcohol on Justin’s breath as he stumbled into him. Justin had come over to his house unannounced after a fight with Jessica, drunk out of his mind. JC, of course, housed his friend, fed him, and put him to bed in the spare bedroom. He then went to his own bed and fell asleep, only to be woken up by two hazy blue eyes and a crooked drunken smile above him. Justin bent down and whispered things in his ear, but JC was too drowsy still to understand and Justin too drunk to be understood. The intention was clear, however. Justin meant to have sex with him to forget the fight with his girlfriend and to get the urge out of his system. There was no love there and JC refused to be a part of it, even if he was finally getting what he wanted. JC pushed Justin off just as he was in the middle of breathing “fuck me” against his lips with that crooked teasing smile. The sensual order ended with an undignified squawk as Justin landed on his back on the edge of the bed as JC stormed out of his own room and locked himself in the guest bedroom. Justin was gone in the morning, and they had barely seen or heard from each other since.
“Justin, I’m not going to be your rebound every time you have a fight with your girlfriend.”
“That’s not what this is!” Justin shrieked. “You know it’s not! Why do you have to make this so difficult?”
“It’s not supposed to be easy. I’m not trying to make it difficult, but it’s hard to take anything you say seriously when the only time you ever seem to feel this way is when you’ve had several beers. What’s that supposed to tell me, Justin? I told you I loved you, but I’m not going to take whatever scraps you can give me.”
“Do you still love me?” Justin breathed so quietly that it took JC a moment to understand. Still, JC couldn’t think of an appropriate answer. His heart had supplied him with “of course” without a second’s hesitation, but his brain barred him from responding in such a way that could only lead to heartache.
“It’s just been so long since you said it… I just wondered-Well, I guess I understand why you wouldn’t, then,” Justin stammered out when he received no response. “I just-I love you. You know that, right? No, not just-I loved them, but I’m in love with you. For all this time, it’s always been you.”
JC took a deep breath, feeling like he was about to take the deepest dive of his life.
“Justin, I-“
“No, Josh, wait. Can I-I mean, this is something we should be saying face-to-face, right? I’m in L.A.--”
“You are not driving over here in your condition.”
Just then there was a tentative knock at his door. JC moved from his kitchen and slowly approached his door (he was still slightly wary of strangers near his house since all of those robbery experiences). He opened it to reveal those mischievous blue eyes and crooked smile.
“I’m kind of already here,” Justin said and his voice was gloriously real. JC suddenly didn’t know how he
had gone so long without hearing it outside of the television. JC couldn’t help but smile and Justin grinned back with relief shining on his face.
“Now what did you want to tell-“
Justin’s words were cut short with a pair of lips smothering his own, and JC knew that was exactly the answer Justin was looking for.
Hope y'all enjoy!
edit: Sorry guys, I guess LJ doesn't translate well from Word... I fixed the wonky spacing :)
I Only Want To Be With You
Pairing: JC/Justin
Rating: R (for language)
Word Count: 1,401
Summary: Justin calls JC after his breakup with Jessica.
The home phone rang obnoxiously in the kitchen.
JC grunted in annoyance and picked himself off of the couch, jogging to the other room. He picked up the phone with a short, “Hello?” There was silence for a few seconds. JC swore he heard sniffling on the other end, a distantly familiar sound… He waded through his foggy memory until it snapped into clear sight.
“Justin?”
“Josh,” he finally whispered, sounding pathetic and slightly slurred. “Josh… I missed you.”
He hadn’t been called Josh by anyone outside his family for a long time. It threw him off for a few beats, as well as the fact that it was Justin on the other end. Justin, who hadn’t spoken to him for so long he had almost forgotten the sound of his voice. Justin, the man he had stormed out on looking as pathetic as he sounded now with tears of rejection in his eyes. And they hadn’t talked since.
Until now.
“Josh, are you there?”
“What do you want, Justin?” JC sounded tired, bone-weary; he couldn’t even find it in himself to be angry anymore.
“I missed you,” he repeated, and JC could see the dopey, buzzed smile Justin was surely wearing as clear as if he were right in front of him.
“I know. Is that all you wanted to tell me? I’m kind of busy.”
Justin laughed and it made something in JC clench painfully, longingly.
“No, you’re not. You’re watching Idol, I can hear it in the background,” Justin said and JC could feel the warmth in his tone.
“Justin…” JC pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to feel angry or annoyed or irritated or something besides this fond, loving feeling he had for Justin he thought he had gotten rid of so long ago.
“It’s over,” The warmth in Justin’s voice had been totally sucked dry. JC could feel the dark seriousness take over the conversation, and he mourned the loss. But this was what he had wanted, wasn’t it?
“What’s over, J?” He hadn’t meant for the endearment to slip out. He supposed he was still conditioned to react this way to Justin’s sadness. Justin somehow made everyone automatically want to jump hoops for him, whether he meant to or not. It had been part of why JC had distanced himself from his best friend.
“Jessica. She-“
There was silence for several beats, but then Justin laughed so suddenly it made JC jump. There was a shade of hysteria to it and that something in JC clenched again, but not in fondness.
“Justin, are you-“
“We’re over. She-she thinks I’m cheating. Everyone thinks I’m cheating. I mean, Mila’s a great girl, but-“
He laughed again, a short bark of disbelief.
“J, have you been drinking?” JC tried again.
Justin continued his soliloquy as if he hadn’t spoken.
“I don’t want her. How could they think I would want her? There’s only one person. I’ve been trying to lie to myself so long. It’s not working anymore. Jessica knew it was a lie, but it was never Mila. Never her. Never them.”
JC felt almost frantic now and was pacing up and down his kitchen floor. He tried to tell himself it was because he was afraid for his friend. He had never been as good at deceiving himself as Justin had.
“It’s always been-“Justin took a deep breath, as if he was steeling himself. JC tensed.
“Justin, don’t…”
“…You.”
JC sucked in a breath and held it, so many thoughts whirling through his head that he couldn’t focus on one. Only one word glared out from the jumbled pile.
“Why?”
Justin laughed again, this time low and sad. There was a pause in which each man listened to the other breathe, one slow and even and the other fast and shallow.
“Honestly, Josh? I don’t know. I just know that I’ve wasted almost 15 years of my life trying to make myself believe I wanted something different and failing each time. And at the same time I was ruining every chance I got to make myself happy. I guess… I don’t know, I guess I’m just tired of ruining it, so I’m taking this chance. I’m not letting it go for anything.”
“Justin. I can’t-“JC started, but the words wouldn’t come. He sighed and let the silence fall over them again.
“I know I screwed up last time. I know you’re still angry with me. I hated myself after that. I never wanted it to be like that, Josh, you have to believe me…”
JC tensed again as his memory decided to present him the memory in bright HD quality. He could still remember the stale smell of alcohol on Justin’s breath as he stumbled into him. Justin had come over to his house unannounced after a fight with Jessica, drunk out of his mind. JC, of course, housed his friend, fed him, and put him to bed in the spare bedroom. He then went to his own bed and fell asleep, only to be woken up by two hazy blue eyes and a crooked drunken smile above him. Justin bent down and whispered things in his ear, but JC was too drowsy still to understand and Justin too drunk to be understood. The intention was clear, however. Justin meant to have sex with him to forget the fight with his girlfriend and to get the urge out of his system. There was no love there and JC refused to be a part of it, even if he was finally getting what he wanted. JC pushed Justin off just as he was in the middle of breathing “fuck me” against his lips with that crooked teasing smile. The sensual order ended with an undignified squawk as Justin landed on his back on the edge of the bed as JC stormed out of his own room and locked himself in the guest bedroom. Justin was gone in the morning, and they had barely seen or heard from each other since.
“Justin, I’m not going to be your rebound every time you have a fight with your girlfriend.”
“That’s not what this is!” Justin shrieked. “You know it’s not! Why do you have to make this so difficult?”
“It’s not supposed to be easy. I’m not trying to make it difficult, but it’s hard to take anything you say seriously when the only time you ever seem to feel this way is when you’ve had several beers. What’s that supposed to tell me, Justin? I told you I loved you, but I’m not going to take whatever scraps you can give me.”
“Do you still love me?” Justin breathed so quietly that it took JC a moment to understand. Still, JC couldn’t think of an appropriate answer. His heart had supplied him with “of course” without a second’s hesitation, but his brain barred him from responding in such a way that could only lead to heartache.
“It’s just been so long since you said it… I just wondered-Well, I guess I understand why you wouldn’t, then,” Justin stammered out when he received no response. “I just-I love you. You know that, right? No, not just-I loved them, but I’m in love with you. For all this time, it’s always been you.”
JC took a deep breath, feeling like he was about to take the deepest dive of his life.
“Justin, I-“
“No, Josh, wait. Can I-I mean, this is something we should be saying face-to-face, right? I’m in L.A.--”
“You are not driving over here in your condition.”
Just then there was a tentative knock at his door. JC moved from his kitchen and slowly approached his door (he was still slightly wary of strangers near his house since all of those robbery experiences). He opened it to reveal those mischievous blue eyes and crooked smile.
“I’m kind of already here,” Justin said and his voice was gloriously real. JC suddenly didn’t know how he
had gone so long without hearing it outside of the television. JC couldn’t help but smile and Justin grinned back with relief shining on his face.
“Now what did you want to tell-“
Justin’s words were cut short with a pair of lips smothering his own, and JC knew that was exactly the answer Justin was looking for.