Fic: Cherry-Flavored Condoms (J/B, PG-13)
Title: Cherry-flavored Condoms
Author: Sara
Email addy: sara_merry99 at livejournal.com
Rating: PG-13, FRT, No Pants but only technically
Summary: Jim finds some old cherry-flavored condoms under Blair's bed.
Note: Inspired by, but not part of, the Safer Sex Ficathon.
Author's Notes: Thanks to my sweet little sister, avi_cautivo, for the alpha/beta-read and the advice about rating the story.
"Chief, what are these?" Jim asked, standing up from his task of cleaning everything out from under my old futon.
I was busy pulling old papers, bent paperclips, and faulty floppy discs out of my desk drawer so it was a few seconds before I looked up and saw what Jim had in his hand. I blushed. "Those are cherry-flavored, Jim, and really old. Just throw them out."
Jim looked down at the strip of condoms he held and then back at me. "You have flavored condoms? Why?"
I raised an eyebrow at him, and said in my archest voice, "Believe it or not, Ellison, I have made condom purchases without you in mind." He scowled at me, but there were happy crinkles at the corner of his eyes. He wasn't mad, but he knew how to play me. I went on, "I had a girlfriend once who liked flavored condoms. Way before your time." When he still didn't move to throw the things out, I sighed and threw a handful of junk into the trash bag. "Why do we use condoms?" I asked. As expected, he didn't answer except by arching an eyebrow. "Right. Safety. So why use one we can't trust?"
"I hate to just throw them out," he said dubiously.
"Look, even if they weren't old, they're flavored and you hate that." I snatched the packets out of his hand. As I moved to drop them into the trash bag, I looked at him. He looked downright grim at the prospect of throwing out four useless condoms, like the Sex Gods were going to smite us for the waste. "Okay, fine. We'll put them to good use. I promise." I tucked the condoms into my pocket and went back to my task.
He started to say something but I waved him to silence. "I'll deal with them." I hid a smile as I thought of the perfect use for them. I didn't share though, it was better to let him stew for a while than to give the game away.
Once the room was cleared, we took out the futon sofa and the crappy old desk so we could bring up the new furniture that was waiting down in Jim's truck. Naturally, because we were doing the heavy lifting, it was one of Cascade's rare hot days, so we were both soaked with sweat before the new desks were in place and all the trash was down at the dumpster. When we staggered back into the loft after dumping the last load, Jim took off his shirt and wiped his face with it. "Want a beer, Chief?"
I smiled; the prospect of a beer was nice, but the view of his naked chest was exquisite. "Yeah, thanks. After we've cooled down for a minute, do you want to get in the jacuzzi together?"
His eyes crinkled as he nodded happily. The loft remodelling project started about a week after we went from being buddies to being lovers. We'd started with the hard part, replacing the hot water heater and expanding the bathroom so that we could put in a jacuzzi. Normal people would have hired a contractor for that, but Jim is not normal people. He wasn't willing to trust anyone who wouldn't be able to tell with Sentinel precision whether water was dripping from the new pipes or whether the drywall was fitting smoothly. So we did the work, all the work, ourselves
It was worth it in the end, because the jacuzzi is truly one of the great inventions of the 20th Century. I'll take it over pre-sliced bread any day.
I grinned back, loving him, adoring his enthusiasm for me, and said, "Okay, I'm gonna go start running it now."
Once I had the water temperature adjusted perfectly, just warm enough to be pleasant, but cool enough to feel good on overheated skin, I checked on the tub supplies: silicon lube, check. That cinnamon soap that Jim likes so much, check. Nice soft towels at the ready, check. I hid the cherry condoms under a washcloth.
It takes the jacuzzi a good ten minutes to fill; Jim's a big guy so we got a big tub. By the time it was done, we had cooled down a bit and were ready for a nice long soak. Once we were both settled in the water and the jets were going, I opened one of the cherry condoms. We hadn't even kissed yet.
Jim's nostrils twitched when I pulled the bright red disc out. Even to my nose it didn't smell great, which is why they'd never gotten used, not even with the girlfriend who thought flavored condoms were fun. These in particular smelled unpleasantly over-sweet.
Jim looked from the condom in my hands to my face. His eyebrow was arched, though I could see by the flush on his chest that he was interested in what he thought was going to happen. "Uhh, Chief. What are you doing? You said those were too old."
"Mmmhmm," I agreed as I started unrolling the condom. "It's okay." His mouth dropped open as I took the unrolled condom to my mouth and started blowing it up like a balloon. While I tied off the end, I licked my lips and muttered, "Wow, Janine was right, they do taste like fluoride treatment." He was just staring at the shining, cerise condom-balloon in my hand. "Catch," I said, tossing it toward him.
Everyone bats at a floating balloon, even a balloon with a receptacle tip. Jim was no exception. He swatted it back to me. After a few passes we established ourselves at opposite ends of the jacuzzi playing condom volleyball. Jim enjoyed himself, laughing when he got splashed, cheering when he scored the first point. He didn't even notice the water that sloshed over the side of the tub. The score was 12 to 9, in my favor, by the time the condom deflated to the point that it didn't make a good ball anymore.
"No staying power," I said, as I reached for another one.
Jim grinned. "We should have gotten some Viagra for it." I splashed water at him and he laughed. God, I love that man.
I filled the second with water from the tap, turning it into a water balloon. The lubricant gave it a completely funky, sensuous feel, almost like a snake but not quite. Warm and slick, it slithered and slid through my hands and into Jim's as I passed it to him. I loved it and could have played for hours, but Jim nearly zoned both times he held it, so I tossed it into the sink. It burst into shards of red rubber.
I was about to blow up the third one and resume our volleyball game, when Jim took the condom from my hand and threw it into the corner behind the bar of cinnamon soap. "Come here, Chief. I didn't realize it was possible to have that much fun with a condom. At least not without an orgasm at the end of it." He pulled me close to him.
I settled into the crook of his arm and reached over his shoulder for the bottle of lube. I chuckled in his ear, deep and sexy, just the way that makes him crazy. He sighed and tipped his head so I could get to the tendon under his ear. I nipped at it while I flipped open the bottle one handed and slicked up my hand. "We're not done playing yet, lover."
He groaned and slid down into the water, spreading his legs and lolling his head back. Letting me do whatever I wanted.
At the other end of the tub, the almost deflated condom-balloon floated in circles, caught in an eddy in the jacuzzi's currents, a bright spark of cherry-flavored color.
Author: Sara
Email addy: sara_merry99 at livejournal.com
Rating: PG-13, FRT, No Pants but only technically
Summary: Jim finds some old cherry-flavored condoms under Blair's bed.
Note: Inspired by, but not part of, the Safer Sex Ficathon.
Author's Notes: Thanks to my sweet little sister, avi_cautivo, for the alpha/beta-read and the advice about rating the story.
"Chief, what are these?" Jim asked, standing up from his task of cleaning everything out from under my old futon.
I was busy pulling old papers, bent paperclips, and faulty floppy discs out of my desk drawer so it was a few seconds before I looked up and saw what Jim had in his hand. I blushed. "Those are cherry-flavored, Jim, and really old. Just throw them out."
Jim looked down at the strip of condoms he held and then back at me. "You have flavored condoms? Why?"
I raised an eyebrow at him, and said in my archest voice, "Believe it or not, Ellison, I have made condom purchases without you in mind." He scowled at me, but there were happy crinkles at the corner of his eyes. He wasn't mad, but he knew how to play me. I went on, "I had a girlfriend once who liked flavored condoms. Way before your time." When he still didn't move to throw the things out, I sighed and threw a handful of junk into the trash bag. "Why do we use condoms?" I asked. As expected, he didn't answer except by arching an eyebrow. "Right. Safety. So why use one we can't trust?"
"I hate to just throw them out," he said dubiously.
"Look, even if they weren't old, they're flavored and you hate that." I snatched the packets out of his hand. As I moved to drop them into the trash bag, I looked at him. He looked downright grim at the prospect of throwing out four useless condoms, like the Sex Gods were going to smite us for the waste. "Okay, fine. We'll put them to good use. I promise." I tucked the condoms into my pocket and went back to my task.
He started to say something but I waved him to silence. "I'll deal with them." I hid a smile as I thought of the perfect use for them. I didn't share though, it was better to let him stew for a while than to give the game away.
Once the room was cleared, we took out the futon sofa and the crappy old desk so we could bring up the new furniture that was waiting down in Jim's truck. Naturally, because we were doing the heavy lifting, it was one of Cascade's rare hot days, so we were both soaked with sweat before the new desks were in place and all the trash was down at the dumpster. When we staggered back into the loft after dumping the last load, Jim took off his shirt and wiped his face with it. "Want a beer, Chief?"
I smiled; the prospect of a beer was nice, but the view of his naked chest was exquisite. "Yeah, thanks. After we've cooled down for a minute, do you want to get in the jacuzzi together?"
His eyes crinkled as he nodded happily. The loft remodelling project started about a week after we went from being buddies to being lovers. We'd started with the hard part, replacing the hot water heater and expanding the bathroom so that we could put in a jacuzzi. Normal people would have hired a contractor for that, but Jim is not normal people. He wasn't willing to trust anyone who wouldn't be able to tell with Sentinel precision whether water was dripping from the new pipes or whether the drywall was fitting smoothly. So we did the work, all the work, ourselves
It was worth it in the end, because the jacuzzi is truly one of the great inventions of the 20th Century. I'll take it over pre-sliced bread any day.
I grinned back, loving him, adoring his enthusiasm for me, and said, "Okay, I'm gonna go start running it now."
Once I had the water temperature adjusted perfectly, just warm enough to be pleasant, but cool enough to feel good on overheated skin, I checked on the tub supplies: silicon lube, check. That cinnamon soap that Jim likes so much, check. Nice soft towels at the ready, check. I hid the cherry condoms under a washcloth.
It takes the jacuzzi a good ten minutes to fill; Jim's a big guy so we got a big tub. By the time it was done, we had cooled down a bit and were ready for a nice long soak. Once we were both settled in the water and the jets were going, I opened one of the cherry condoms. We hadn't even kissed yet.
Jim's nostrils twitched when I pulled the bright red disc out. Even to my nose it didn't smell great, which is why they'd never gotten used, not even with the girlfriend who thought flavored condoms were fun. These in particular smelled unpleasantly over-sweet.
Jim looked from the condom in my hands to my face. His eyebrow was arched, though I could see by the flush on his chest that he was interested in what he thought was going to happen. "Uhh, Chief. What are you doing? You said those were too old."
"Mmmhmm," I agreed as I started unrolling the condom. "It's okay." His mouth dropped open as I took the unrolled condom to my mouth and started blowing it up like a balloon. While I tied off the end, I licked my lips and muttered, "Wow, Janine was right, they do taste like fluoride treatment." He was just staring at the shining, cerise condom-balloon in my hand. "Catch," I said, tossing it toward him.
Everyone bats at a floating balloon, even a balloon with a receptacle tip. Jim was no exception. He swatted it back to me. After a few passes we established ourselves at opposite ends of the jacuzzi playing condom volleyball. Jim enjoyed himself, laughing when he got splashed, cheering when he scored the first point. He didn't even notice the water that sloshed over the side of the tub. The score was 12 to 9, in my favor, by the time the condom deflated to the point that it didn't make a good ball anymore.
"No staying power," I said, as I reached for another one.
Jim grinned. "We should have gotten some Viagra for it." I splashed water at him and he laughed. God, I love that man.
I filled the second with water from the tap, turning it into a water balloon. The lubricant gave it a completely funky, sensuous feel, almost like a snake but not quite. Warm and slick, it slithered and slid through my hands and into Jim's as I passed it to him. I loved it and could have played for hours, but Jim nearly zoned both times he held it, so I tossed it into the sink. It burst into shards of red rubber.
I was about to blow up the third one and resume our volleyball game, when Jim took the condom from my hand and threw it into the corner behind the bar of cinnamon soap. "Come here, Chief. I didn't realize it was possible to have that much fun with a condom. At least not without an orgasm at the end of it." He pulled me close to him.
I settled into the crook of his arm and reached over his shoulder for the bottle of lube. I chuckled in his ear, deep and sexy, just the way that makes him crazy. He sighed and tipped his head so I could get to the tendon under his ear. I nipped at it while I flipped open the bottle one handed and slicked up my hand. "We're not done playing yet, lover."
He groaned and slid down into the water, spreading his legs and lolling his head back. Letting me do whatever I wanted.
At the other end of the tub, the almost deflated condom-balloon floated in circles, caught in an eddy in the jacuzzi's currents, a bright spark of cherry-flavored color.