Who Fic - Recurrence (Aftermath)
Title: Recurrence (Aftermath)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating/warnings: PG-13
Genre: angst
Character/s: Rose/10.5
Spoilers: up to JE
Summary: And after the climax there was a conclusion.
Disclaimer: Doctor Who and all it’s associated characters/situations etc do not belong to me, I’m just borrowing them.
<- Part Two
~*~
It was hours before the Doctor was finally able to be alone with Rose. After the medical team had treated them all for shock they had then been subjected to endless interviews, the writing of incident reports and then a particularly horrible moment where Jodie’s parents had come in to identify their daughter’s body and learn what had happened to her.
Seb was an absolute wreck - distraught with guilt and blaming himself for everything that had happened to Jodie. Julia and Kile had been similarly upset when they had come back to themselves although the Doctor suspected that it was probably the shock talking rather than any real amount of remorse. For his part, the impact of Jodie’s death had created a strange and hollow emptiness that made his chest ache. The loss of someone so young had affected him in a much keener way then Sky’s death had - despite his fledgling acquaintance with Sky and his lack thereof with Jodie.
As far as the Doctor was concerned it had gone from a good day to a positively awful one with far too much ease. And the most frustrating thing about it was that if everyone had just done as he had asked then he could have potentially fixed everything and Jodie wouldn’t have died - at his hand no less.
Back in Rose’s darkened office, sitting on the desk and turning his sonic screwdriver over in his hands he waited for her to return to him and for the inevitable confrontation. She had been too weak with fear when the spell of the creature had broken to berate him but her heated glances at him left him in no doubt at all that she was going to give him a good talking to.
He wasn’t entirely sure that he deserved to be grilled after saving her life but considering the means in which he had done so...luckily Pete had whisked her away for a serious conversation about the day’s events almost an hour ago and she had yet to return. And so he waited anxiously for her, trying to forget how cold and alien her gun had felt in his hand, the recoil as he fired...
Shuffling uneasily he heard a clatter of plastic and discovered that her lunch salad sat forgotten on the desk beside him, the lettuce leaves wilting and turning brown already. Everything dies. This observation only made him feel even more depressed so he shoved the lunchbox angrily down the other end and then continued to fidget with the sonic screwdriver.
When the door finally opened quietly behind him he didn’t move and for a long moment neither did she. Then there was the clicking of footsteps that led to the desk and Rose jumped up so she was sitting beside him, their thighs touching. He said nothing, merely pocketing his sonic screwdriver in readiness, and after several minutes she was the one to finally break the constricting silence between them.
“The Trammel’s aren’t going to press charges,” she said quietly. “Dad managed to convince them that you acted out of self defence.”
More silence and then a small nod.
Rose glanced at him sideways and then shook her head at him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
The Doctor sighed. “I thought I could handle it.” he murmured.
“That’s not what I meant Doctor,” Rose said dangerously, her voice building towards a slow crescendo. “Why would you keep me in the dark like that? Swanning off to do research and then expecting me to just sit by and watch Jodie like...”
“I ran into that thing when I was travelling with Donna,” he interrupted her suddenly, shortly. “Not long before the stars started going out really and I - well...” he found himself stuttering and took a breath. “I spoke to the woman who was infected or...or possessed or...Sky her name was. Sky. And whatever it was that was inside her took my voice just like it took yours.”
There was a sudden nudge against his hand and he realised that Rose had begun to twine her fingers with his. After glancing gratefully at her he looked straight ahead and took a breath, aware of how focused her gaze was on him.
“I nearly got thrown outside the craft we were in,” he continued, voice bleak. “If the stewardess hadn’t gotten to Sky first then the other passengers would’ve...” the Doctor stopped and threaded his fingers a little tighter through Rose’s, swallowed against the lump that was putting so much pressure on his throat. “This is...I’ve not really spoken about this since...”
He choked suddenly and as silence fell once again Rose squeezed his fingers.
“The stewardess?” she prompted gently.
“She...died. To save us - well, to save me. Incinerated in the atmosphere,” he shook his head in remorse. “I never even knew her name.”
In his peripheral vision Rose bit her lip for a moment. “You never told me,” she said simply, voice quiet and trembling with emotion.
“Why would I?” He asked, turning to her in disbelief. “I don’t need to share the burden of all my nightmares with you.”
“Doctor...”
“You know I honestly believed that I could save her?” he cut across her, frustration twisting his voice. “If I’d just had a little bit more time and...I’m sure that I...” anger flared up in him unexpectedly and he snatched his hand out of hers. “Why couldn’t you just leave her?” he demanded. “Why did you have to go in there? If you hadn’t been so stubborn...”
“Don’t you dare get angry at me!” Rose snapped, angry tears trembling on her lower lashes as she jumped to her feet. “I was tryin’ to help her!”
“So was I!” the Doctor roared. “But oh no you just had to go in there and look after the poor innocent little girl didn’t you? You’ve always been so bloody sentimental! From the second you walked in there and started babbling away to her...”
“Well what was I supposed to do?” Rose countered furiously, tears slipping rapidly down her cheeks now. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe you should’ve told me what we were up against? If I’d known then I never would’ve...” she gasped out a sob and turned away from him, fists clenched and shoulders stiff. “God! I never would’ve gone in there if I’d known!”
The Doctor stared helplessly at her for a moment and then came to stand behind her, touching his fingertips to her shoulders. Rose gave one shuddering, silent sob and then reached up to grasp both of his hands. He responded by stepping forward until he could embrace her properly.
“Sorry,” he whispered against her ear. The word felt strangely foreign on his tongue and for a moment he wondered if he might have accidentally said it in Gallifreyan. “I never thought...I didn’t mean...I’m so sorry Rose.”
“That girl is dead,” Rose whispered. “And we could’ve stopped it from happening.”
The Doctor dropped his eyes, surprising even himself when he felt his chest tighten around the throbbing ache of loss. Beneath his embrace she shuddered with a silent sob and in return his view of her hair began to waver as his eyes overflowed. Hurriedly he shut them and pressed his face into her neck, feeling each hot tear as it leaked into her hair.
“I was so scared,” Rose whimpered and his tears fell thicker, faster. “When it took my voice...I’ve never been so scared before. Not ever.”
“I know,” he whispered, tightening his hold on her and opening bleary eyes so he could stroke her hair. “I know and I’m so sorry. I wish I’d told you...”
“Stop it,” Rose said suddenly, turning to him. Sniffing, she wiped her face and then her nose before reaching up to touch his face with trembling fingers. “It’s done now. It’s done. We’re still alive.”
“We are,” he agreed, still trembling slightly.
Rose sniffed again once more and then let out a huff of air that could have almost been a sob. “Take me home?” she requested.
They left the Torchwood building together; tear streaked, pale and gripping hands tight enough to bruise.
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating/warnings: PG-13
Genre: angst
Character/s: Rose/10.5
Spoilers: up to JE
Summary: And after the climax there was a conclusion.
Disclaimer: Doctor Who and all it’s associated characters/situations etc do not belong to me, I’m just borrowing them.
<- Part Two
~*~
It was hours before the Doctor was finally able to be alone with Rose. After the medical team had treated them all for shock they had then been subjected to endless interviews, the writing of incident reports and then a particularly horrible moment where Jodie’s parents had come in to identify their daughter’s body and learn what had happened to her.
Seb was an absolute wreck - distraught with guilt and blaming himself for everything that had happened to Jodie. Julia and Kile had been similarly upset when they had come back to themselves although the Doctor suspected that it was probably the shock talking rather than any real amount of remorse. For his part, the impact of Jodie’s death had created a strange and hollow emptiness that made his chest ache. The loss of someone so young had affected him in a much keener way then Sky’s death had - despite his fledgling acquaintance with Sky and his lack thereof with Jodie.
As far as the Doctor was concerned it had gone from a good day to a positively awful one with far too much ease. And the most frustrating thing about it was that if everyone had just done as he had asked then he could have potentially fixed everything and Jodie wouldn’t have died - at his hand no less.
Back in Rose’s darkened office, sitting on the desk and turning his sonic screwdriver over in his hands he waited for her to return to him and for the inevitable confrontation. She had been too weak with fear when the spell of the creature had broken to berate him but her heated glances at him left him in no doubt at all that she was going to give him a good talking to.
He wasn’t entirely sure that he deserved to be grilled after saving her life but considering the means in which he had done so...luckily Pete had whisked her away for a serious conversation about the day’s events almost an hour ago and she had yet to return. And so he waited anxiously for her, trying to forget how cold and alien her gun had felt in his hand, the recoil as he fired...
Shuffling uneasily he heard a clatter of plastic and discovered that her lunch salad sat forgotten on the desk beside him, the lettuce leaves wilting and turning brown already. Everything dies. This observation only made him feel even more depressed so he shoved the lunchbox angrily down the other end and then continued to fidget with the sonic screwdriver.
When the door finally opened quietly behind him he didn’t move and for a long moment neither did she. Then there was the clicking of footsteps that led to the desk and Rose jumped up so she was sitting beside him, their thighs touching. He said nothing, merely pocketing his sonic screwdriver in readiness, and after several minutes she was the one to finally break the constricting silence between them.
“The Trammel’s aren’t going to press charges,” she said quietly. “Dad managed to convince them that you acted out of self defence.”
More silence and then a small nod.
Rose glanced at him sideways and then shook her head at him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
The Doctor sighed. “I thought I could handle it.” he murmured.
“That’s not what I meant Doctor,” Rose said dangerously, her voice building towards a slow crescendo. “Why would you keep me in the dark like that? Swanning off to do research and then expecting me to just sit by and watch Jodie like...”
“I ran into that thing when I was travelling with Donna,” he interrupted her suddenly, shortly. “Not long before the stars started going out really and I - well...” he found himself stuttering and took a breath. “I spoke to the woman who was infected or...or possessed or...Sky her name was. Sky. And whatever it was that was inside her took my voice just like it took yours.”
There was a sudden nudge against his hand and he realised that Rose had begun to twine her fingers with his. After glancing gratefully at her he looked straight ahead and took a breath, aware of how focused her gaze was on him.
“I nearly got thrown outside the craft we were in,” he continued, voice bleak. “If the stewardess hadn’t gotten to Sky first then the other passengers would’ve...” the Doctor stopped and threaded his fingers a little tighter through Rose’s, swallowed against the lump that was putting so much pressure on his throat. “This is...I’ve not really spoken about this since...”
He choked suddenly and as silence fell once again Rose squeezed his fingers.
“The stewardess?” she prompted gently.
“She...died. To save us - well, to save me. Incinerated in the atmosphere,” he shook his head in remorse. “I never even knew her name.”
In his peripheral vision Rose bit her lip for a moment. “You never told me,” she said simply, voice quiet and trembling with emotion.
“Why would I?” He asked, turning to her in disbelief. “I don’t need to share the burden of all my nightmares with you.”
“Doctor...”
“You know I honestly believed that I could save her?” he cut across her, frustration twisting his voice. “If I’d just had a little bit more time and...I’m sure that I...” anger flared up in him unexpectedly and he snatched his hand out of hers. “Why couldn’t you just leave her?” he demanded. “Why did you have to go in there? If you hadn’t been so stubborn...”
“Don’t you dare get angry at me!” Rose snapped, angry tears trembling on her lower lashes as she jumped to her feet. “I was tryin’ to help her!”
“So was I!” the Doctor roared. “But oh no you just had to go in there and look after the poor innocent little girl didn’t you? You’ve always been so bloody sentimental! From the second you walked in there and started babbling away to her...”
“Well what was I supposed to do?” Rose countered furiously, tears slipping rapidly down her cheeks now. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe you should’ve told me what we were up against? If I’d known then I never would’ve...” she gasped out a sob and turned away from him, fists clenched and shoulders stiff. “God! I never would’ve gone in there if I’d known!”
The Doctor stared helplessly at her for a moment and then came to stand behind her, touching his fingertips to her shoulders. Rose gave one shuddering, silent sob and then reached up to grasp both of his hands. He responded by stepping forward until he could embrace her properly.
“Sorry,” he whispered against her ear. The word felt strangely foreign on his tongue and for a moment he wondered if he might have accidentally said it in Gallifreyan. “I never thought...I didn’t mean...I’m so sorry Rose.”
“That girl is dead,” Rose whispered. “And we could’ve stopped it from happening.”
The Doctor dropped his eyes, surprising even himself when he felt his chest tighten around the throbbing ache of loss. Beneath his embrace she shuddered with a silent sob and in return his view of her hair began to waver as his eyes overflowed. Hurriedly he shut them and pressed his face into her neck, feeling each hot tear as it leaked into her hair.
“I was so scared,” Rose whimpered and his tears fell thicker, faster. “When it took my voice...I’ve never been so scared before. Not ever.”
“I know,” he whispered, tightening his hold on her and opening bleary eyes so he could stroke her hair. “I know and I’m so sorry. I wish I’d told you...”
“Stop it,” Rose said suddenly, turning to him. Sniffing, she wiped her face and then her nose before reaching up to touch his face with trembling fingers. “It’s done now. It’s done. We’re still alive.”
“We are,” he agreed, still trembling slightly.
Rose sniffed again once more and then let out a huff of air that could have almost been a sob. “Take me home?” she requested.
They left the Torchwood building together; tear streaked, pale and gripping hands tight enough to bruise.