What I've done? (1/3)
TITLE: What I’ve done?
AUTHOR: sapphicwarrior
PAIRING: Callie/Erica of course!
RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libellous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
SUMMARY: One year ago Erica left Callie. Callie is heartbroken. Exactly one year after, Callie calls Erica…
AUTHOR’S NOTE 1: I wrote this in a boring class again, wrote all day. Callica is so much more interesting then the things the teacher was saying. This was supposed to be a one-shot, but it turned out longer.
AUTHORS NOTE 2: Lots of thanks and hugs to superfy_me for being an awesome beta.
Today it was one year ago since Erica had left, one year ago that Erica had left her standing alone in front of the hospital, one year ago that her heart had stopped beating and had broken in a thousand pieces, one year ago that she had stopped living.
Callie still felt the same pain as she felt one year ago. She still awoke every morning hoping it was all a dream. But it wasn’t a dream, it was a nightmare she couldn’t seem to wake up from.
She didn’t want to wake up today, she didn’t want to feel today. If only she could feel numb today or just sleep the day away.
At work Callie was a shell of who she used to be. A couple of months after Erica had left her, Mark had told her she had to walk tall again. But how could she walk tall when there was no one to walk tall for? Erica had taken her heart and soul with her. So how could she walk tall without a heart beating within her? She just existed, she didn’t live anymore. She breathed in and out, but only because it happened automatically, not because she wanted to breath.
Erica had been her person, so when Erica had left her, she was left without a friend. Mark had tried to support her and help her, but she had shut herself off from everybody more and more.
She tried dating, but failed miserably. She went out with Erica clones, but none were the real thing, so none worked out. After a while she just stopped dating and going out.
She had lost weight. Lunch had lost its appeal without Erica, so after a while she just started skipping lunch. It reminded her too much of Erica.
She knew she had to get over Erica, it had been a year after all, but she couldn’t. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t seem to get over her.
Callie fought back the tears she felt coming up. It was a wonder she still had any left after all the crying she had done this past year. With a sigh she got up. She had to get to work and she couldn’t be late again. She got into the shower and tried to wash away the hurt. After a quick shower she got dressed. She grabbed a coffee on the way to work. She didn’t feel like eating breakfast.
The hospital hadn’t changed at all during the past year, but to Callie it just wasn’t the same anymore. It hadn’t been the same since Erica had left.
For months she had called Erica on her cell, but after a while she gave up as she never picked it up. But today she decided to Call her again, if only to hear her voice on the voicemail. She still knew the number by heart. For a moment she hoped that Erica would pick up, but as usual after five rings it went to voicemail.
“You’ve reached the voicemail of Erica Hahn. I’m not available right now, but leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Bye.”
BEEP
“Hmm, hi Erica, it’s me…hmm Callie. Just wanted to hear your voice again. I still miss you as much as I did one year ago when you left. In 11 hours and 22 minutes it will have been exactly one year ago that you left me. I’m trying to move on, I am, but I can’t Erica. You took my heart with you when you left, so I can’t move Erica. I… I love you Erica, I always have and I always will. I hope wherever you are that you are happy. Just know that I will keep missing you till I die. I love you”, Callie said in teary voice.
She hadn’t expected to say so much, she just wanted to say that she still missed her, but somehow she had ended up saying that she loved her. She had realizes long ago that she loved Erica, but this was the first time she had actually said it out loud.
She put her cell in her locker and started her rounds. At noon a multiple MVA rolled in and kept her busy till late in the afternoon. She hadn’t even thought about Erica. When she glanced at her watch it was 4pm. She knew she had to eat something so she went to the cafeteria. She ran into Mark on her way to the cafeteria.
“Hi Callie, want some company?” he asked.
“Not really, but I know you’ll just sit with me anyway.”
Both took a salad and went to sit in a corner. Callie couldn’t sit at the table she used to share with Erica. She poked her salad at took small bites.
“How are you holding up today?” Mark asked. He was concerned about his friend. He knew what day today was. For the past 365 days he had seen her turn from a warm and spontaneous person to a cold non-feeling person. When Erica had left her, he had seen how Callie had lost her spark. She had tried to shut him out, but he wasn’t having any of it. He knew that besides him, Callie had no one to talk to. He had sworn to himself that if he ever saw Hahn again, he’d hurt her for breaking Callie.
“I’m fine Mark, why do you ask?” Callie said.
“Don’t fool me Cal. I know what day today is.”
Callie remained silent.
“I called her today. I left a message saying that I love her”, Callie said with a crack in her voice.
“You have to move on, Callie. She’s not coming back. She has proved that. She has never even called you back once this past year. She simply doesn’t care about you”, Mark said in a stern voice.
“Stop it Mark. Don’t say she doesn’t care about me or that she’s not coming back”, Callie angrily said.
“Callie, you know that what I say is true. She left you and she’s not coming back. You have to move on.”
Callie got up. “How can I move on when she took my heart with her? How Mark? HOW?” she yelled and angrily left the cafeteria.
She didn’t care that she had just made a scene in the cafeteria. She knew Mark was right, but hearing him say it made it real, too real.
Callie hid the rest of her shift in an on-call room. She had never been more glad for her shift to be over. Mark had left her alone for the rest of her shift.
Inside the locker room, she immediately opened up her locker and checked her cell. NO missed phone calls, no messages. Not that she had expected anything back from Erica, but she felt disappointed anyway.
Just as she was about to change out of her scrubs, Cristina burst into the locker room.
“Torres, get your ass out of the locker room and go to the lobby. You got a visitor.”
“Tell that visitor I don’t feel like seeing anyone today and to come back tomorrow”, Callie sighed.
“Believe me, you don’t want to miss this visitor. Now, go one… shoot”, and she pushed Callie out of the locker room.
Callie realized she had no choice but to follow Cristina. She had no idea who could be visiting her. Besides Mark she had no friends. She just wanted to go home and get drunk to forget this day. When they reached the lobby, Cristina quickly left.
“Good luck Callie”, she said before leaving.
“Good luck? What do I need good luck for?” she yelled after Cristina.
She turned around. Cristina hadn’t even told her who her visitor was, so how was she supposed to know who was here to see her? But then she spotted a familiar silhouette with familiar blonde curls. She felt her breath itch in her throat.
No, it couldn’t be, could it? She couldn’t be here?
The silhouette turned around. Callie was met with the blue eyes of her former girlfriend.
Suddenly she felt the heart starting to beat out of control and her breathing got irregular. She felt a wave of dizziness coming over her and the last thing she heard before falling to the floor was Erica yelling “Callie” and running her way.
AUTHOR: sapphicwarrior
PAIRING: Callie/Erica of course!
RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libellous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
SUMMARY: One year ago Erica left Callie. Callie is heartbroken. Exactly one year after, Callie calls Erica…
AUTHOR’S NOTE 1: I wrote this in a boring class again, wrote all day. Callica is so much more interesting then the things the teacher was saying. This was supposed to be a one-shot, but it turned out longer.
AUTHORS NOTE 2: Lots of thanks and hugs to superfy_me for being an awesome beta.
Today it was one year ago since Erica had left, one year ago that Erica had left her standing alone in front of the hospital, one year ago that her heart had stopped beating and had broken in a thousand pieces, one year ago that she had stopped living.
Callie still felt the same pain as she felt one year ago. She still awoke every morning hoping it was all a dream. But it wasn’t a dream, it was a nightmare she couldn’t seem to wake up from.
She didn’t want to wake up today, she didn’t want to feel today. If only she could feel numb today or just sleep the day away.
At work Callie was a shell of who she used to be. A couple of months after Erica had left her, Mark had told her she had to walk tall again. But how could she walk tall when there was no one to walk tall for? Erica had taken her heart and soul with her. So how could she walk tall without a heart beating within her? She just existed, she didn’t live anymore. She breathed in and out, but only because it happened automatically, not because she wanted to breath.
Erica had been her person, so when Erica had left her, she was left without a friend. Mark had tried to support her and help her, but she had shut herself off from everybody more and more.
She tried dating, but failed miserably. She went out with Erica clones, but none were the real thing, so none worked out. After a while she just stopped dating and going out.
She had lost weight. Lunch had lost its appeal without Erica, so after a while she just started skipping lunch. It reminded her too much of Erica.
She knew she had to get over Erica, it had been a year after all, but she couldn’t. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t seem to get over her.
Callie fought back the tears she felt coming up. It was a wonder she still had any left after all the crying she had done this past year. With a sigh she got up. She had to get to work and she couldn’t be late again. She got into the shower and tried to wash away the hurt. After a quick shower she got dressed. She grabbed a coffee on the way to work. She didn’t feel like eating breakfast.
The hospital hadn’t changed at all during the past year, but to Callie it just wasn’t the same anymore. It hadn’t been the same since Erica had left.
For months she had called Erica on her cell, but after a while she gave up as she never picked it up. But today she decided to Call her again, if only to hear her voice on the voicemail. She still knew the number by heart. For a moment she hoped that Erica would pick up, but as usual after five rings it went to voicemail.
“You’ve reached the voicemail of Erica Hahn. I’m not available right now, but leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Bye.”
BEEP
“Hmm, hi Erica, it’s me…hmm Callie. Just wanted to hear your voice again. I still miss you as much as I did one year ago when you left. In 11 hours and 22 minutes it will have been exactly one year ago that you left me. I’m trying to move on, I am, but I can’t Erica. You took my heart with you when you left, so I can’t move Erica. I… I love you Erica, I always have and I always will. I hope wherever you are that you are happy. Just know that I will keep missing you till I die. I love you”, Callie said in teary voice.
She hadn’t expected to say so much, she just wanted to say that she still missed her, but somehow she had ended up saying that she loved her. She had realizes long ago that she loved Erica, but this was the first time she had actually said it out loud.
She put her cell in her locker and started her rounds. At noon a multiple MVA rolled in and kept her busy till late in the afternoon. She hadn’t even thought about Erica. When she glanced at her watch it was 4pm. She knew she had to eat something so she went to the cafeteria. She ran into Mark on her way to the cafeteria.
“Hi Callie, want some company?” he asked.
“Not really, but I know you’ll just sit with me anyway.”
Both took a salad and went to sit in a corner. Callie couldn’t sit at the table she used to share with Erica. She poked her salad at took small bites.
“How are you holding up today?” Mark asked. He was concerned about his friend. He knew what day today was. For the past 365 days he had seen her turn from a warm and spontaneous person to a cold non-feeling person. When Erica had left her, he had seen how Callie had lost her spark. She had tried to shut him out, but he wasn’t having any of it. He knew that besides him, Callie had no one to talk to. He had sworn to himself that if he ever saw Hahn again, he’d hurt her for breaking Callie.
“I’m fine Mark, why do you ask?” Callie said.
“Don’t fool me Cal. I know what day today is.”
Callie remained silent.
“I called her today. I left a message saying that I love her”, Callie said with a crack in her voice.
“You have to move on, Callie. She’s not coming back. She has proved that. She has never even called you back once this past year. She simply doesn’t care about you”, Mark said in a stern voice.
“Stop it Mark. Don’t say she doesn’t care about me or that she’s not coming back”, Callie angrily said.
“Callie, you know that what I say is true. She left you and she’s not coming back. You have to move on.”
Callie got up. “How can I move on when she took my heart with her? How Mark? HOW?” she yelled and angrily left the cafeteria.
She didn’t care that she had just made a scene in the cafeteria. She knew Mark was right, but hearing him say it made it real, too real.
Callie hid the rest of her shift in an on-call room. She had never been more glad for her shift to be over. Mark had left her alone for the rest of her shift.
Inside the locker room, she immediately opened up her locker and checked her cell. NO missed phone calls, no messages. Not that she had expected anything back from Erica, but she felt disappointed anyway.
Just as she was about to change out of her scrubs, Cristina burst into the locker room.
“Torres, get your ass out of the locker room and go to the lobby. You got a visitor.”
“Tell that visitor I don’t feel like seeing anyone today and to come back tomorrow”, Callie sighed.
“Believe me, you don’t want to miss this visitor. Now, go one… shoot”, and she pushed Callie out of the locker room.
Callie realized she had no choice but to follow Cristina. She had no idea who could be visiting her. Besides Mark she had no friends. She just wanted to go home and get drunk to forget this day. When they reached the lobby, Cristina quickly left.
“Good luck Callie”, she said before leaving.
“Good luck? What do I need good luck for?” she yelled after Cristina.
She turned around. Cristina hadn’t even told her who her visitor was, so how was she supposed to know who was here to see her? But then she spotted a familiar silhouette with familiar blonde curls. She felt her breath itch in her throat.
No, it couldn’t be, could it? She couldn’t be here?
The silhouette turned around. Callie was met with the blue eyes of her former girlfriend.
Suddenly she felt the heart starting to beat out of control and her breathing got irregular. She felt a wave of dizziness coming over her and the last thing she heard before falling to the floor was Erica yelling “Callie” and running her way.