365 Days of Love Rants
day 30 : memories
pg
memories || 1399wc
The annoying graze of the white chalk meets the surface of the blackboard is the only reason my head was still held high. The class itself is soporific with the mellow voice of Ms.Kim dishing out facts and more facts that was making my head swimming in knowledge and my eyes drowsier by the second. I looked around the classroom; my classmates had long gone and waved the white flag of defeat.
Kim Kibum, the school diva was texting with his French-manicured nails ,oblivious to the world, now and then he rest his Blackberry on his lap and when he lifted his phone, he erupts with tiny giggles and flicks his hair arrogantly.
Kim Jonghyun, the school rising star, was humming softly, his coarse fingers tapping rhythm with his earphones stuffed on his ears and a ballpoint pen puckered up from his lips. Once in awhile,he writes down what I assume as lyrics on a blank sheet of paper.
At the far corner of the room, Lee Jinki, the genius was the only one who seems to pay interest to the lesson by nodding his head when Ms.Kim’s gaze falls on him. His hand skilfully writes down notes in the open page of his thick black book.
And at the backside of the room, the school jock, Choi Minho, was breathing softly with his head rested on his desk with a baseball cap on his head.
Perhaps, you might be asking how I know this 4 people, besides the obvious, that they are my classmates. We once shared a history, from the first day our eyes opened to the world, we had known each other, learnt to walk together and had fallen together. But now, we had all been inflicted with caprice, avoiding each other like plague, following respective paths since the start of high school. All four of them succeed and are looking forward for the future, but I was left behind in the shadow, as I cling on the past and the times when “All for five” and “Five for all” was declared by five childish voices on the pre-school ground. As they said, people changes like the weather, we had all shifted away from that motto, having our own social clique and being top-ranked in school hierarchy whilst I stared from the lowest point hoping that somehow miracle will help us.
~
“Class,if I could have your attention for a minute.”Our form tutor announced as another day of high school unfolds. The loud, coarse voices of the jocks quieten down. The strumming of guitar had abruptly discontinued on a note. The tapping of the calculators had ceased. The chatters and the giggles of the popular had shut down. All eyes were staring at Ms.Kim in anticipation and impatient so they’ll continue to their activity again.
“Now that I have your attention, our class will be camping out this weekend.”Loud protests came from the popular fizzes up putting forward their agony. Jocks hi-5 each other and throws their hands in the air as a sign of celebration. Others were indifferent.
“And, your group is decided.”Ms.Kim announced with a slight smirk.
All of them protested and they continued their routine, whining once in awhile with the arrangement.
~
One by one we descend the bus; nature was at its finest. The popular were shrieking as they stepped down as their leather boots had been tainted with boots and Kibum was whining about his cell phone isn’t working. The jocks were inhaling fresh airs and my eyes fell for the only jock that I seemed to care. Jonghyun seemed ecstatic and he was saddling his guitar. Jinki was without his glasses on and with his group discussing something that I couldn’t comprehend.
“Gather around people. It’s time to decide your groups.”They all groaned in dissatisfaction.
One by one, the groups were being tearing apart and seemingly a misfit puzzles. They were assigned to different task. One by one, all of them went away.
~
“Lee Jinki, Choi Minho ,Kim Jonghyun,Key and Lee Taemin. You five are going to be in the same group.”Ms.Kim pointed at five of us, we exchanged glances .Key was entirely dissatisfied as he folded his arm, huffed and looked sideways when his gaze falls on me. Minho, went and took our mission card. He opened it and slowly the other four converges.
“So guys, this is the distance we had to walk to the campsite.”He said authoritatively, exposing the route card and the map.
Kibum groaned.”I hate this thing, and to make it worse I had to be with him.This is so not going to be bad for my reputation.”He pointed at me accusingly, and at the moment all I wanted to melt away and extracted by the ground.
“Kibum, don’t say that to Taeminnie.”Jonghyun shouted, his face was red and angry, using his body to shield me in precaution if Kibum would attack me.
“It’s not KIbum, it’s KEY, Kibum died a long time ago.”He responded with a slightly higher tone than before, he moved forward in attempt to threaten Jonghyun.
“That’s it; we should start moving now if you don’t want to arrive at night.”Onew said, and just like the old days, he was the one that settled us down when a terrible fight takes place.
~
“Ouch!”I shouted on top of my lungs when my feet tripped the endless roots of an old tree.Minho rushes to my side with a panic-stricken face followed by Jonghyun and Onew. Key watches from the far side with arms folded, but he was easy to read like an open book, I know that he still cares.
“Are you ok? Minho lifted my leg and I winced in pain. Somehow, the pain had subsided when they rush to me with care, just like those days when I tripped over nothing.
“This going to hurt but please bear with me.”He lifted my leg higher and I shrieked.
“That’s not how you treat a sick person.”Key was furious and pushed Minho away.
“Leave it to me.”He said, and he applied his skills in first aid, Minho was there holding my hand for comfort and Onew and Jonghyun were there comforting me. Tears were glistening at the corner of my eyes because I was greatly affected, this felt like a dream having them surround me.
And the rest of the walk, we had fun just like old days, with Jonghyun strumming on his guitar once in awhile and Onew being the clown and Key had to shut them up.
Minho was next to me all the time; we shared small talks and the small act of affection by holding my hands and providing me with attention with his warm gaze. My heart was so full with happiness, happiness that I had been waiting for.
~
It was the last day of the camp, when everything seemed well and I thought perhaps we had reunited once again stronger than ever. That thought alone woke me up with smile. But, my smile faltered later when Key was back with his popular group, Minho was back with the jocks, and Jonghyun and Onew respectively.
I passed them with head down and the tears of joy that supposed to fall from my ears were replaced with sadness and harrow sorrow. When I sat next to the window in the bus, far from four of them, I hated them, I detest them and I hated him the most for giving me hopes and shattering them recklessly. As the bus sped off the countryside heading back to the seat, I wanted the weekend back, so I could record everything that we ever had.
~
And, when we went back to school, we were once again strangers. They gave me sympathetic glances as I limped when I entered the classroom, but none come to help. And, when I felt his gaze fell on me, I ignored it and my heart ached. I gave up on them, just the way they gave up on our friendship. If they could be selfish, and then I can be selfish as well.
We used to like each other- you laughed at my smile
We used to cry together- you were pained by my tears
Where are you? Can’t you see my tired body?
My pained heart is looking for you
Is calling out to you - crazily
- Super Junior- Memories
pg
memories || 1399wc
The annoying graze of the white chalk meets the surface of the blackboard is the only reason my head was still held high. The class itself is soporific with the mellow voice of Ms.Kim dishing out facts and more facts that was making my head swimming in knowledge and my eyes drowsier by the second. I looked around the classroom; my classmates had long gone and waved the white flag of defeat.
Kim Kibum, the school diva was texting with his French-manicured nails ,oblivious to the world, now and then he rest his Blackberry on his lap and when he lifted his phone, he erupts with tiny giggles and flicks his hair arrogantly.
Kim Jonghyun, the school rising star, was humming softly, his coarse fingers tapping rhythm with his earphones stuffed on his ears and a ballpoint pen puckered up from his lips. Once in awhile,he writes down what I assume as lyrics on a blank sheet of paper.
At the far corner of the room, Lee Jinki, the genius was the only one who seems to pay interest to the lesson by nodding his head when Ms.Kim’s gaze falls on him. His hand skilfully writes down notes in the open page of his thick black book.
And at the backside of the room, the school jock, Choi Minho, was breathing softly with his head rested on his desk with a baseball cap on his head.
Perhaps, you might be asking how I know this 4 people, besides the obvious, that they are my classmates. We once shared a history, from the first day our eyes opened to the world, we had known each other, learnt to walk together and had fallen together. But now, we had all been inflicted with caprice, avoiding each other like plague, following respective paths since the start of high school. All four of them succeed and are looking forward for the future, but I was left behind in the shadow, as I cling on the past and the times when “All for five” and “Five for all” was declared by five childish voices on the pre-school ground. As they said, people changes like the weather, we had all shifted away from that motto, having our own social clique and being top-ranked in school hierarchy whilst I stared from the lowest point hoping that somehow miracle will help us.
~
“Class,if I could have your attention for a minute.”Our form tutor announced as another day of high school unfolds. The loud, coarse voices of the jocks quieten down. The strumming of guitar had abruptly discontinued on a note. The tapping of the calculators had ceased. The chatters and the giggles of the popular had shut down. All eyes were staring at Ms.Kim in anticipation and impatient so they’ll continue to their activity again.
“Now that I have your attention, our class will be camping out this weekend.”Loud protests came from the popular fizzes up putting forward their agony. Jocks hi-5 each other and throws their hands in the air as a sign of celebration. Others were indifferent.
“And, your group is decided.”Ms.Kim announced with a slight smirk.
All of them protested and they continued their routine, whining once in awhile with the arrangement.
~
One by one we descend the bus; nature was at its finest. The popular were shrieking as they stepped down as their leather boots had been tainted with boots and Kibum was whining about his cell phone isn’t working. The jocks were inhaling fresh airs and my eyes fell for the only jock that I seemed to care. Jonghyun seemed ecstatic and he was saddling his guitar. Jinki was without his glasses on and with his group discussing something that I couldn’t comprehend.
“Gather around people. It’s time to decide your groups.”They all groaned in dissatisfaction.
One by one, the groups were being tearing apart and seemingly a misfit puzzles. They were assigned to different task. One by one, all of them went away.
~
“Lee Jinki, Choi Minho ,Kim Jonghyun,Key and Lee Taemin. You five are going to be in the same group.”Ms.Kim pointed at five of us, we exchanged glances .Key was entirely dissatisfied as he folded his arm, huffed and looked sideways when his gaze falls on me. Minho, went and took our mission card. He opened it and slowly the other four converges.
“So guys, this is the distance we had to walk to the campsite.”He said authoritatively, exposing the route card and the map.
Kibum groaned.”I hate this thing, and to make it worse I had to be with him.This is so not going to be bad for my reputation.”He pointed at me accusingly, and at the moment all I wanted to melt away and extracted by the ground.
“Kibum, don’t say that to Taeminnie.”Jonghyun shouted, his face was red and angry, using his body to shield me in precaution if Kibum would attack me.
“It’s not KIbum, it’s KEY, Kibum died a long time ago.”He responded with a slightly higher tone than before, he moved forward in attempt to threaten Jonghyun.
“That’s it; we should start moving now if you don’t want to arrive at night.”Onew said, and just like the old days, he was the one that settled us down when a terrible fight takes place.
~
“Ouch!”I shouted on top of my lungs when my feet tripped the endless roots of an old tree.Minho rushes to my side with a panic-stricken face followed by Jonghyun and Onew. Key watches from the far side with arms folded, but he was easy to read like an open book, I know that he still cares.
“Are you ok? Minho lifted my leg and I winced in pain. Somehow, the pain had subsided when they rush to me with care, just like those days when I tripped over nothing.
“This going to hurt but please bear with me.”He lifted my leg higher and I shrieked.
“That’s not how you treat a sick person.”Key was furious and pushed Minho away.
“Leave it to me.”He said, and he applied his skills in first aid, Minho was there holding my hand for comfort and Onew and Jonghyun were there comforting me. Tears were glistening at the corner of my eyes because I was greatly affected, this felt like a dream having them surround me.
And the rest of the walk, we had fun just like old days, with Jonghyun strumming on his guitar once in awhile and Onew being the clown and Key had to shut them up.
Minho was next to me all the time; we shared small talks and the small act of affection by holding my hands and providing me with attention with his warm gaze. My heart was so full with happiness, happiness that I had been waiting for.
~
It was the last day of the camp, when everything seemed well and I thought perhaps we had reunited once again stronger than ever. That thought alone woke me up with smile. But, my smile faltered later when Key was back with his popular group, Minho was back with the jocks, and Jonghyun and Onew respectively.
I passed them with head down and the tears of joy that supposed to fall from my ears were replaced with sadness and harrow sorrow. When I sat next to the window in the bus, far from four of them, I hated them, I detest them and I hated him the most for giving me hopes and shattering them recklessly. As the bus sped off the countryside heading back to the seat, I wanted the weekend back, so I could record everything that we ever had.
~
And, when we went back to school, we were once again strangers. They gave me sympathetic glances as I limped when I entered the classroom, but none come to help. And, when I felt his gaze fell on me, I ignored it and my heart ached. I gave up on them, just the way they gave up on our friendship. If they could be selfish, and then I can be selfish as well.
We used to like each other- you laughed at my smile
We used to cry together- you were pained by my tears
Where are you? Can’t you see my tired body?
My pained heart is looking for you
Is calling out to you - crazily
- Super Junior- Memories