If you aren't laughing at life... then you've missed the JOKE.
Hindsight is 20/20
A Final Fantasy VII Fanfiction
Author: Sanjuno Shori Niko
Summary: When Chaos takes personal interest in the continued existence of one Captain Cid Highwind things get a little... weird.
Timeline: Time-travel is confusing.
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(In which the Norns have a sense of humour.)
JENOVA Project File No. 22
Removal of Specimen CC delayed by power surge. Electrical storm caused damage necessitating recalibration of priority equipment. Specimen CC shows no signs of complications. Neurological activity has increased by 34%.
/…/
So this was what being dead feels like. It was nice, a peaceful, floating sort of feeling. Really quite a soothing effect, if you liked that kind of thing.
Boring as hell in Cid’s expert, and not-at-all biased, opinion.
Cid really needed to stop tempting the Fates. The Norns could be vindictive little bitches when they wanted to be.
Sure enough, the peace was soon disturbed further as Cid was very rudely hauled out of his quiet little bubble into his own personal hell. Lungs fighting for air - Gods, there were no words to describe how much Cid hated that feeling - and liquid was expelled from his lungs in heaves, helped along by someone performing professional compressions on his back.
Ugh. Whatever that shit was it tasted disgusting. Cid blinked, expecting blood thanks to the sour-copper sting lingering at the back of his throat, but the green glow of processed mako puddled in front of his nose instead. The fuck was this nonsense?
That was when Cid noticed several things at once, his brain kicking into high gear now that it was no longer preoccupied with establishing a breathing rhythm. He was naked, the metal floor was cold, and people were talking.
“She’s performing respirations on her own. Excellent!” The male voice was vaguely familiar. Like Cid should recognize it, but… it was hard to track things properly. There was a green haze overlaying his vision, and his ears had that pressurized feeling that made everything sound far away. Mako. There was mako in his ears, and it was probably in his eyes too. What the hell was going on?
Cid tried to push himself up in order to find the nearest target and shake until they gave him some answers about what the fuck had happened, but ended up flopping ungracefully on to his back instead. That was less than intimidating. His body refused to cooperate with him.
Fighting back panic through sheer bull-headed grit, Cid blinked the sting of mako out of his eyes. Stared for a long moment at the figures standing over his, taking the time to process what he was seeing. There was a dead man looking down at Cid with the most frighteningly greedy expression Cid had ever seen aimed in his direction.
“She’s perfect.” A woman wearing a lab coat knelt down on the floor, her long hair tied up with long ribbons. She was careful not to touch the mako as she started rattling off numbers, her gloved hands disturbingly impersonal as she took Cid’s vitals. There was an assistant standing to the side taking a record. The woman’s hands were cold, and Cid wanted her to stop touching him. Somehow, Cid felt like he should recognize her, but mostly he just wanted to get away. The woman stood up, beaming down at Cid before turning to Hojo. “Her vitals are extraordinary! Should we proceed?”
“Of course. Harvest what we need.” Hojo stepped aside as two blank-faced men stepped forward and lifted Cid off the metal grating and on to a gurney. Cid’s head flopped forward when he was picked up, and that was when Cid noticed that he had tits.
What. The. Fuck.
Whoever designed hell was obviously a lot more imaginative than previously considered. Apparently fire and brimstone were far too common for Captain Highwind. No, let us turn him into a chick instead. Fucking shit.
/…/
JENOVA Project File No. 24
Specimen CC removed from growth tank. Subject proceeded to maintain self-regulation of vital functions without the aid of support machinery. Will continue to monitor subject’s vital functions for signs of degradations.
Subject presents as an adult female of North Continent Ancestry. Indications of basic neural impulses are present, but Subject as yet falls short of actual self-awareness. Muscle reflexes and physiological responses present at 14% above maximum range for the primary donor genome.
JENOVA Project File No. 25
Specimen CC differs from Dr. Crescent’s (primary genetic donor) expressive phenotype. CC appears to lack melanin count possessed by Dr. Crescent, resulting in differences in pigmentation. CC displays signs of near albinism (blonde/blue expression.) Full examination revealed extensive skeletal differences from Dr. Crescent. CC exhibits greater bone density and tensile strength in addition to an extended motion range and broader frame. CC is 179cm, while Crescent is 162cm - this is perhaps the effect of JENOVA on the subject.
Will continue to monitor subject for signs of degenerative Green Syndrome.
(Word Count: 775)
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... This is an interruption of your regularly scheduled teenage-time-traveler trope. Please keep all limbs inside the temporal distrotion at all times.
So tomorrow morning at 1:30 am (yes, AM, and on a Monday too) I get to leave my house, drive for 3 hours to the airport in Buffalo, where I get on a plane that takes off at 6am, for a 3 hour layover in Atlanta, where I get on another plane that takes me to Albuquerque, for a meeting with my mother and her boyfriend... all in order for me to help her with a 28 hour drive back to Canada. Yeah, I may be a teensy-weensy bit upset that I have to take 3 days off work for this bullshit. Fuck my sister for letting her passport expire.
Ta, lovlies. I`m bringing my little Notebook, and I`ll try to post at any free wi-fi places we stop at.
=/=
HERE THERE BE DRAGONS!!
♥
♠
♥
♣
♥
♠
♥
♣
♥
♠
A Final Fantasy VII Fanfiction
Author: Sanjuno Shori Niko
Summary: When Chaos takes personal interest in the continued existence of one Captain Cid Highwind things get a little... weird.
Timeline: Time-travel is confusing.
=/=
=/=
(In which the Norns have a sense of humour.)
JENOVA Project File No. 22
Removal of Specimen CC delayed by power surge. Electrical storm caused damage necessitating recalibration of priority equipment. Specimen CC shows no signs of complications. Neurological activity has increased by 34%.
/…/
So this was what being dead feels like. It was nice, a peaceful, floating sort of feeling. Really quite a soothing effect, if you liked that kind of thing.
Boring as hell in Cid’s expert, and not-at-all biased, opinion.
Cid really needed to stop tempting the Fates. The Norns could be vindictive little bitches when they wanted to be.
Sure enough, the peace was soon disturbed further as Cid was very rudely hauled out of his quiet little bubble into his own personal hell. Lungs fighting for air - Gods, there were no words to describe how much Cid hated that feeling - and liquid was expelled from his lungs in heaves, helped along by someone performing professional compressions on his back.
Ugh. Whatever that shit was it tasted disgusting. Cid blinked, expecting blood thanks to the sour-copper sting lingering at the back of his throat, but the green glow of processed mako puddled in front of his nose instead. The fuck was this nonsense?
That was when Cid noticed several things at once, his brain kicking into high gear now that it was no longer preoccupied with establishing a breathing rhythm. He was naked, the metal floor was cold, and people were talking.
“She’s performing respirations on her own. Excellent!” The male voice was vaguely familiar. Like Cid should recognize it, but… it was hard to track things properly. There was a green haze overlaying his vision, and his ears had that pressurized feeling that made everything sound far away. Mako. There was mako in his ears, and it was probably in his eyes too. What the hell was going on?
Cid tried to push himself up in order to find the nearest target and shake until they gave him some answers about what the fuck had happened, but ended up flopping ungracefully on to his back instead. That was less than intimidating. His body refused to cooperate with him.
Fighting back panic through sheer bull-headed grit, Cid blinked the sting of mako out of his eyes. Stared for a long moment at the figures standing over his, taking the time to process what he was seeing. There was a dead man looking down at Cid with the most frighteningly greedy expression Cid had ever seen aimed in his direction.
“She’s perfect.” A woman wearing a lab coat knelt down on the floor, her long hair tied up with long ribbons. She was careful not to touch the mako as she started rattling off numbers, her gloved hands disturbingly impersonal as she took Cid’s vitals. There was an assistant standing to the side taking a record. The woman’s hands were cold, and Cid wanted her to stop touching him. Somehow, Cid felt like he should recognize her, but mostly he just wanted to get away. The woman stood up, beaming down at Cid before turning to Hojo. “Her vitals are extraordinary! Should we proceed?”
“Of course. Harvest what we need.” Hojo stepped aside as two blank-faced men stepped forward and lifted Cid off the metal grating and on to a gurney. Cid’s head flopped forward when he was picked up, and that was when Cid noticed that he had tits.
What. The. Fuck.
Whoever designed hell was obviously a lot more imaginative than previously considered. Apparently fire and brimstone were far too common for Captain Highwind. No, let us turn him into a chick instead. Fucking shit.
/…/
JENOVA Project File No. 24
Specimen CC removed from growth tank. Subject proceeded to maintain self-regulation of vital functions without the aid of support machinery. Will continue to monitor subject’s vital functions for signs of degradations.
Subject presents as an adult female of North Continent Ancestry. Indications of basic neural impulses are present, but Subject as yet falls short of actual self-awareness. Muscle reflexes and physiological responses present at 14% above maximum range for the primary donor genome.
JENOVA Project File No. 25
Specimen CC differs from Dr. Crescent’s (primary genetic donor) expressive phenotype. CC appears to lack melanin count possessed by Dr. Crescent, resulting in differences in pigmentation. CC displays signs of near albinism (blonde/blue expression.) Full examination revealed extensive skeletal differences from Dr. Crescent. CC exhibits greater bone density and tensile strength in addition to an extended motion range and broader frame. CC is 179cm, while Crescent is 162cm - this is perhaps the effect of JENOVA on the subject.
Will continue to monitor subject for signs of degenerative Green Syndrome.
(Word Count: 775)
=/=
=/=
... This is an interruption of your regularly scheduled teenage-time-traveler trope. Please keep all limbs inside the temporal distrotion at all times.
So tomorrow morning at 1:30 am (yes, AM, and on a Monday too) I get to leave my house, drive for 3 hours to the airport in Buffalo, where I get on a plane that takes off at 6am, for a 3 hour layover in Atlanta, where I get on another plane that takes me to Albuquerque, for a meeting with my mother and her boyfriend... all in order for me to help her with a 28 hour drive back to Canada. Yeah, I may be a teensy-weensy bit upset that I have to take 3 days off work for this bullshit. Fuck my sister for letting her passport expire.
Ta, lovlies. I`m bringing my little Notebook, and I`ll try to post at any free wi-fi places we stop at.
=/=
HERE THERE BE DRAGONS!!
♥
♠
♥
♣
♥
♠
♥
♣
♥
♠