Between your world and mine: Shattered
Shattered
Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Chronicles of Narnia don't belong to me (sadly). Credit goes to those who do own them.
The king had no questions about where he was, how and why. It did not matter. None of it, as long as he could continue to gaze up at his queen from where he stood beneath the moon of their world.
Caspian sighed, unable to comfort Susan who stood by the window-a perfect picture of disappointment. It wasn't as if he did want to call out to her or run to her. His mind directed his body to move but it was as if an invisible force kept him still and silent. So he watched her-the only thing he could do and for now it was enough.
Susan had lost weight and he saw this as her clothes hung loosely on her frame. Her eyes were sunken and dark. Everything about her screamed she was tired, even the tears that trailed slowly down her face. She took one deep breath after another, eyes closed, willing herself to get a grip on her emotions. He watched Susan sit on the window sill, fear momentarily gripping him as she almost lost her balance. He gasped aloud, his hand flying to his throat as the sound escaped. For a split second, he thought she noticed he was there but as her expression settled into a somber mood he felt the hope die as quickly as it flickered alive.
For hours he watched her, the moonlight just enough for him to see her clearly from afar. Caspian smiled to himself and realized that in all of the time he knew her, he had never stopped to just look at her. From the stories of his childhood, the awe of their first meeting, her grace in battle and even in dreams, he believed in her beauty more than saw it as a reality. But now, even in sadness, she took his breath away.
She was not physically perfect, that he knew, far from it even. If pressed, he would be able to name flaws but the point was he didn't want to. But it was her grace and the life that she breathed into her features that made her breathtaking. She possessed a light within her that lit up even her imperfections and transformed it into something that would inspire. Even with her eyes as empty and lost as they were now, he found her to be beautiful.
It was then the king fell in love for the woman that Susan was. Before, he loved the queen who surpassed both legend and myth. Then he met and fell for the warrior who showed him how to be a man. It was only now that he saw her humanity-raw and full of emotions, someone who could share a life with him, someone who could be his partner until the end of all the days.
"Susan?" Lucy's soft voice drifted over to where he was still frozen in place, "Are you alright?"
Susan hastily wiped away her tears, "Yes, I was just waiting for the sunrise. Go back to bed, Lucy. I'll wake you up when it's time for breakfast. You can sleep in. It's Saturday."
Lucy stood beside her sister and looked outside the open window, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She blinked hard as her eyes glazed over the stone bench, wondering if her eyes were playing tricks on her. She looked again and no one was there. The younger girl shrugged and silently made her way back to bed but Susan's attention was already where her sister's gaze had wandered.
The knot in her stomach twisted further and she clawed her mind, trying to grasp at the missing fragments of her dream-the one that caused this feeling of great disappointment. Her eyebrows furrowed in concentration, eyes never leaving the bench, wondering what she was missing.
She shook her head in frustration, grumbling as she turned away from the horizon that had just begun to lighten, closing the window behind her. Susan padded down the stairs and began to make breakfast, setting places for everyone, making it picture perfect for when they finally left their warm beds to start the day. She kept her hands busy, hoping her mind would follow suit but her mind had a will of its own and kept wandering outside.
Caspian was still immobile, trapped in his invisible prison, as he listened intently to her steady movements inside the kitchen. He felt her frustration with every loud clatter of plates and the occasional sigh. He wanted to believe she was acting up because she could feel his presence. Without realizing it, their eyes had met-right when Lucy turned and her attention became riveted on the lone bench in their backyard. But the pieces of the moment were just broken fragments in her mind and she could not find anything to connect it all.
His eyes widened in surprise as she stepped out in a flurry of movement, the door swinging wide open as she walked hurriedly outside, plate in hand. Unwittingly, she sat down next to him as she stared at her plate thinking why she even brought it out when her appetite was never up to it to begin with.
Susan closed her eyes and felt her frantic state began to dissipate into a calm that she didn't expect. Caspian watched her shoulders relax as her heart slowed to a normal pace, her breathing matching the steady rhythm.
"Why can't I believe my lies long enough to really forget you?" Susan whispered softly to herself
"Because the truth is enough to get us through, it brought me here." Caspian thought silently as his voice was still lost
"Why can't I just accept you've probably gotten married and are happy now?"
"Because you know you're the only one." Caspian said, continuing his silent side of the conversation
"Why can't I let you go?"
"Because you love me… because I love you." The king said, finally, aloud.
Susan turned and looked at him, but Caspian knew she couldn't see him. Not really but the way she tilted her head and squinted at the tree behind him was almost as if there was something blocking her vision of the old oak. But then she shook her head and laughed bitterly.
"I'm losing my mind. I must miss him that much." Susan said softly, a tear rolling down her cheek, "Caspian, I love you."
The king raised his hand out of instinct and brushed the stray tear away, his heart bleeding for the queen.
The tear never reached the ground.
Susan stared straight ahead, willing herself to stay still as the touch lingered on her cheek. Slowly, she allowed her hand to move, finding its way to the other which comforted her. Her heart wanted to beat itself out of her chest and in that same second, Caspian finally realized what he had managed to do.
Her fingers closed in on the hand that still held the lone tear from her eyes. She gripped it tighter as more tears fought their way to the surface, her lips trembling with disbelief that she held something she longed to touch for so long. Finally.
"How…?" she asked aloud
"I don't know." Caspian replied, wishing she would face him, but he settled for lowering their hands and placing his other hand over hers, "It's not important. Not to me," he said with a smile in his voice mingled with equal parts relief and happiness
"Is," she began hesitantly, still looking straight ahead, "this real?"
"I think so." Caspian said, unsure whether he was dreaming or he was just part of hers, but the feeling of her hand in his changed his mind, "Yes, yes it must be."
They sat in breathless silence, afraid that the moment would end all too soon. In perfect sync, they closed their eyes without meaning to and the images they had always assumed to be mere dreams now had the stamp of truth and reality, holding tight to each other.
Susan saw flashes of their borrowed time in the past months, the landscape changing each time. The conversations rang in her ear like a recording, her own laughter echoing in the reel. This history was calm but it sped back to the battle, the chance meeting and even further back into her first foray into Narnia. But then she saw images that weren't her own, things much older that her. The world was spinning back to the beginning and the last she saw was a blast of light and the feeling of warmth and security that spread through her as a lion's roar resonated in her mind. It was what she felt for Caspian, multiplied a thousand times over that she felt overwhelmed. Her eyes flew open and automatically turned to face the man who held her hand and her heart.
She found nothing. Susan looked at her upturned palm. It was empty.
But the truth kept her from falling apart, it made her strong enough. Susan was ready to fight. Aslan's words made sense now.
Caspian is real. Narnia is real. She loves him. She believes in all of this and in the life she can have with him-in Narnia. It's not just a dream. It's all real.
And in that moment, every future that was written in the beginning of time shattered as if it was blown up by a great explosion, a force so great it could not be held back any longer.
Susan noticed something lying on the bench where Caspian was a few moments earlier. Her fingers closed on a familiar object and she held it up for a closer inspection. The smooth curve was the same and she knew the sound it would make would be a perfect match to memory.
"Susan?" Peter said, walking towards her a concerned expression on his face that turned slowly into shock as he recognized what was in her hand
"My horn." Susan said simply
"I can see that, what is it doing here?" Peter asked, his voice rising a few decibels in surprise, unable to process what he was seeing
"I think it's my way back," Susan said slowly a smile forming on her face.
History-past, present and future, all unraveled and the queen now held her life in her hands.
Anything can happen now.
Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Chronicles of Narnia don't belong to me (sadly). Credit goes to those who do own them.
The king had no questions about where he was, how and why. It did not matter. None of it, as long as he could continue to gaze up at his queen from where he stood beneath the moon of their world.
Caspian sighed, unable to comfort Susan who stood by the window-a perfect picture of disappointment. It wasn't as if he did want to call out to her or run to her. His mind directed his body to move but it was as if an invisible force kept him still and silent. So he watched her-the only thing he could do and for now it was enough.
Susan had lost weight and he saw this as her clothes hung loosely on her frame. Her eyes were sunken and dark. Everything about her screamed she was tired, even the tears that trailed slowly down her face. She took one deep breath after another, eyes closed, willing herself to get a grip on her emotions. He watched Susan sit on the window sill, fear momentarily gripping him as she almost lost her balance. He gasped aloud, his hand flying to his throat as the sound escaped. For a split second, he thought she noticed he was there but as her expression settled into a somber mood he felt the hope die as quickly as it flickered alive.
For hours he watched her, the moonlight just enough for him to see her clearly from afar. Caspian smiled to himself and realized that in all of the time he knew her, he had never stopped to just look at her. From the stories of his childhood, the awe of their first meeting, her grace in battle and even in dreams, he believed in her beauty more than saw it as a reality. But now, even in sadness, she took his breath away.
She was not physically perfect, that he knew, far from it even. If pressed, he would be able to name flaws but the point was he didn't want to. But it was her grace and the life that she breathed into her features that made her breathtaking. She possessed a light within her that lit up even her imperfections and transformed it into something that would inspire. Even with her eyes as empty and lost as they were now, he found her to be beautiful.
It was then the king fell in love for the woman that Susan was. Before, he loved the queen who surpassed both legend and myth. Then he met and fell for the warrior who showed him how to be a man. It was only now that he saw her humanity-raw and full of emotions, someone who could share a life with him, someone who could be his partner until the end of all the days.
"Susan?" Lucy's soft voice drifted over to where he was still frozen in place, "Are you alright?"
Susan hastily wiped away her tears, "Yes, I was just waiting for the sunrise. Go back to bed, Lucy. I'll wake you up when it's time for breakfast. You can sleep in. It's Saturday."
Lucy stood beside her sister and looked outside the open window, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She blinked hard as her eyes glazed over the stone bench, wondering if her eyes were playing tricks on her. She looked again and no one was there. The younger girl shrugged and silently made her way back to bed but Susan's attention was already where her sister's gaze had wandered.
The knot in her stomach twisted further and she clawed her mind, trying to grasp at the missing fragments of her dream-the one that caused this feeling of great disappointment. Her eyebrows furrowed in concentration, eyes never leaving the bench, wondering what she was missing.
She shook her head in frustration, grumbling as she turned away from the horizon that had just begun to lighten, closing the window behind her. Susan padded down the stairs and began to make breakfast, setting places for everyone, making it picture perfect for when they finally left their warm beds to start the day. She kept her hands busy, hoping her mind would follow suit but her mind had a will of its own and kept wandering outside.
Caspian was still immobile, trapped in his invisible prison, as he listened intently to her steady movements inside the kitchen. He felt her frustration with every loud clatter of plates and the occasional sigh. He wanted to believe she was acting up because she could feel his presence. Without realizing it, their eyes had met-right when Lucy turned and her attention became riveted on the lone bench in their backyard. But the pieces of the moment were just broken fragments in her mind and she could not find anything to connect it all.
His eyes widened in surprise as she stepped out in a flurry of movement, the door swinging wide open as she walked hurriedly outside, plate in hand. Unwittingly, she sat down next to him as she stared at her plate thinking why she even brought it out when her appetite was never up to it to begin with.
Susan closed her eyes and felt her frantic state began to dissipate into a calm that she didn't expect. Caspian watched her shoulders relax as her heart slowed to a normal pace, her breathing matching the steady rhythm.
"Why can't I believe my lies long enough to really forget you?" Susan whispered softly to herself
"Because the truth is enough to get us through, it brought me here." Caspian thought silently as his voice was still lost
"Why can't I just accept you've probably gotten married and are happy now?"
"Because you know you're the only one." Caspian said, continuing his silent side of the conversation
"Why can't I let you go?"
"Because you love me… because I love you." The king said, finally, aloud.
Susan turned and looked at him, but Caspian knew she couldn't see him. Not really but the way she tilted her head and squinted at the tree behind him was almost as if there was something blocking her vision of the old oak. But then she shook her head and laughed bitterly.
"I'm losing my mind. I must miss him that much." Susan said softly, a tear rolling down her cheek, "Caspian, I love you."
The king raised his hand out of instinct and brushed the stray tear away, his heart bleeding for the queen.
The tear never reached the ground.
Susan stared straight ahead, willing herself to stay still as the touch lingered on her cheek. Slowly, she allowed her hand to move, finding its way to the other which comforted her. Her heart wanted to beat itself out of her chest and in that same second, Caspian finally realized what he had managed to do.
Her fingers closed in on the hand that still held the lone tear from her eyes. She gripped it tighter as more tears fought their way to the surface, her lips trembling with disbelief that she held something she longed to touch for so long. Finally.
"How…?" she asked aloud
"I don't know." Caspian replied, wishing she would face him, but he settled for lowering their hands and placing his other hand over hers, "It's not important. Not to me," he said with a smile in his voice mingled with equal parts relief and happiness
"Is," she began hesitantly, still looking straight ahead, "this real?"
"I think so." Caspian said, unsure whether he was dreaming or he was just part of hers, but the feeling of her hand in his changed his mind, "Yes, yes it must be."
They sat in breathless silence, afraid that the moment would end all too soon. In perfect sync, they closed their eyes without meaning to and the images they had always assumed to be mere dreams now had the stamp of truth and reality, holding tight to each other.
Susan saw flashes of their borrowed time in the past months, the landscape changing each time. The conversations rang in her ear like a recording, her own laughter echoing in the reel. This history was calm but it sped back to the battle, the chance meeting and even further back into her first foray into Narnia. But then she saw images that weren't her own, things much older that her. The world was spinning back to the beginning and the last she saw was a blast of light and the feeling of warmth and security that spread through her as a lion's roar resonated in her mind. It was what she felt for Caspian, multiplied a thousand times over that she felt overwhelmed. Her eyes flew open and automatically turned to face the man who held her hand and her heart.
She found nothing. Susan looked at her upturned palm. It was empty.
But the truth kept her from falling apart, it made her strong enough. Susan was ready to fight. Aslan's words made sense now.
Caspian is real. Narnia is real. She loves him. She believes in all of this and in the life she can have with him-in Narnia. It's not just a dream. It's all real.
And in that moment, every future that was written in the beginning of time shattered as if it was blown up by a great explosion, a force so great it could not be held back any longer.
Susan noticed something lying on the bench where Caspian was a few moments earlier. Her fingers closed on a familiar object and she held it up for a closer inspection. The smooth curve was the same and she knew the sound it would make would be a perfect match to memory.
"Susan?" Peter said, walking towards her a concerned expression on his face that turned slowly into shock as he recognized what was in her hand
"My horn." Susan said simply
"I can see that, what is it doing here?" Peter asked, his voice rising a few decibels in surprise, unable to process what he was seeing
"I think it's my way back," Susan said slowly a smile forming on her face.
History-past, present and future, all unraveled and the queen now held her life in her hands.
Anything can happen now.