Prompt #52 - Roleplay
Yami hated the idea of admitting that he was whipped but to be honest, he was. Lying face up on his bed, eyes on the ceiling, he cycled through thoughts on his conundrum for what had to have been the thousandth time.
Though he liked sex and physicality, they were dangerous things for him and this was not the first time something like this had happened. When he was being held, when he was in the throes of passion, it was harder to think about his place in the grand scheme of things - the fact that, all things considered, he had none. There was no doubt at all that sex was a wonderful distraction. Whether he was being selfless or selfish, it required a sort of attention that kept his thoughts away from darker topics.
He was not without his strengths, however: he could very easily go without it when he got used to it. Breaking away from Yuugi, for example, had been one of the most difficult choices in his life. In fact, Yami hadn't so much become independent, as he had simply replaced one vice with another. But when he did finally ween himself from the touch of others, maintaining it wasn't a challenge at all. Even after things had ended between him and Marik, keeping away was easy (though it certainly helped that Marik lived a full 14 hours away from Japan most of the time), when he tried.
But Mokuba had broken that cycle, and Yami was caught up in his baser desires again. Sex was good dammit; and with Yuugi rehashing old, deep seated feelings he needed to de-stress somehow. It was a perfect fit, even if that meant falling back into old patterns. Mokuba knew about the Millennium Items, knew enough for Yami to also vent himself in other ways. Though talking about his dilemma with having a new body was difficult at best, what little he'd discussed had been... freeing, in a way. He wasn't used to sharing things with others. It was a safer alternative than usual, he thought.
None of that changed the current problem, however.
Mokuba took the promotion offered to him, and from that moment the man might as well have been a ghost. He only worked officially "three hours a day" and the rest was considered overtime. There was a lot of fucking overtime. Mokuba was almost never home, more often than not sleeping at the Mansion when working late. Other days he came home too tired to say anything other than "hello" and "goodnight", then get up later and do it all over again.
Yami felt he'd be a dick to ask for a quickie. On the other hand, there were issues with being given access to sex on a very regular basis and then having it revoked, suddenly and without warning. Even if it wasn't on purpose. And being sympathetic didn't solve the problem. He was entitled and needy, and Mokuba had encouraged it - something would have to be done.
A hard knock interrupted his thoughts, and he sighed. Yami wasn't any bit closer to figuring out what to do. He almost welcomed the interruption. "Come in," he said, even though he knew that Yuugi was on the other side of it.
That was an entirely different scenario. There was still an awkward uneasiness between them, and he wasn't entirely sure that things were settled. With Yuugi, things had a tendency to get monumentally worse before they got better, and fact was that they still disagreed passionately about the fate of their relationship. Their earlier discussion had not gone as well as Yami had hoped and there was still a lot unsaid between them. Though he didn't want to admit it, there was the possibility that they would never get to talk about what was happening in the present. Yuugi was still stuck in the past.
But being able to talk was an improvement. At least he could say that.
Despite them having a hard time with each other, however, Yami was cautious. Yuugi was too easy to slip into. It would be too simple a thing to ask, or even coerce, to have his neediness satiated. And it didn't help that, their disagreement about being together aside, becoming entwined with Yuugi was almost an urge for him. He had to resist it for several reasons, the least of which being respect for Mokuba and the most of which being respect for Yuugi. Lack of attention was not an excuse.
When Yuugi stepped into the room, it was filled with a bright smile. Unusual, so far as Yami was concerned, but he wasn't going to argue with whatever influence was gifting him with a better mood. "Do you have plans for today?" he was asked.
Yami wished he could have said yes. Every bone in his body wished he could say that he had a date or even just that he was going to Mokuba's later. Anything but being stuck in the house, thinking about a problem that needed fixing that he felt bad about fixing. "No."
"Alright. Guess what happened to me today?" Hands were latched together, tugging at the knuckles with impatience. Surprises were never Yuugi's forte. He'd get too excited, and he loved to see people smile, so he would tell them just for the benefit of making someone feel better.
So the fastest way to get through this would be for Yami to... well, be as sullen as he already was. "You won the lottery?"
"Yami..." Yuugi tutted. "No, I saw a friend. Guess who?"
"Jou or Honda?"
"Nope."
"Anzu?" There were only so many possible answers. Yami prayed that it would be revealed soon. He was too irritable for this kind of game.
"...um, nope!"
"Well, Yuugi, it's not like we hang out with a gaggle of people. Who?"
But Yuugi seemed pleased with Yami's frustration, beaming brightly. Hands smoothed one over the other as Yuugi fidgeted in the doorway. "I knew you wouldn't guess."
"Who?"
"Bakura!" Amethyst eyes shone with excitement.
Yami tried his best to keep his jaw from dropping. "...Bakura? Are you sure?" That... that was different. Bakura held meaning, and suddenly he understood why Yuugi was so delighted.
After waking up in his new body, Yami had... for lack of better term, had a hard time accepting the Gods' will and his position. Before the Ceremonial Duel, never had he thought he would end up back here, with Yuugi or with anyone. His place was in the field of reeds, the afterlife with his brethren who had also sacrificed themselves for the greater good. It wasn't as though there was some purpose left to fulfill - several uneventful years at Yuugi's side had confirmed that.
In the beginning, Yami hadn't spoken much to anyone. He'd been quiet, pensive, hoping vainly that one day he would vanish just as suddenly as he would appear. Those days, years ago, had been tumultuous; Yami had teetered constantly between remorse, anger and deep despair. It was hard not to blame Yuugi and their friends, for a time. None of them had wanted to him to leave, and sometimes it was easier to believe that their wishes had brought him back and curse him with this existence.
He and Ryou befriended each other soon after that, when talks with Yuugi and the others didn't help at all. Ryou, too, had been left in an inconvenient position. The damage that the spirit of the Ring wrought through Ryou's life had been tremendous. Missing people, ominous impressions and concerned whispers were left in his wake; much of that could not be changed. The trial ending didn't undo all that Ryou had gone through and did not undo what was different.
So they understood each other in a way that the others didn't. The two of them were haunted by the unpleasantness in their pasts, and bonded through them. Ryou Bakura was, in fact, the only person Yami had bared nearly all of his feelings to. He'd been his most vulnerable self with Ryou, and that was a camaraderie that he missed. The bright and cheery group around him didn't quite understand his inner turmoil - positive outlooks in spite of the situation, with no criticism, wasn't encouraging. It only made Yami feel more helpless and more like something was wrong with him.
Yuugi pulled Yami from his thoughts once again. "Yes I'm sure!"
He shook his head and almost couldn't believe it. "Bakura," he repeated, letting the disbelief wash over him.
There was more than just the emotional attachment, too. Ryou had helped to teach him. Yuugi and friends were busy with graduating and school and getting into college and all sorts of things. Yami had just been in the way, mostly, but there was so much he didn't know. Things were different in a separate body; Yami no longer could rely on Yuugi's muscle memory to figure out how things worked. It was Ryou that had spent that time - to teach him to use electronics, gaming systems, vending machines, and what to expect when taking care of certain tasks. Ryou had been the one to teach Yami how to drive a car and even how to speak what bit of broken English he knew. Without that help, Yami wouldn't be able to function.
"Bakura," Yuugi confirmed. "He was at the grocery store downtown."
That was a little hurtful to hear, to be honest, and Yami blinked a few times to keep himself focused.
Ryou had, after staying in Domino for a few years, decided he needed a change of pace. The memories held for him in the city had threatened to overwhelm him. But his father wasn't returning to Japan any time soon, and if there was anything he and Yami had learned from each other, it was that they needed support. Ryou didn't want to simply sit and obsess over his troubles. So Yami had bit him farewell. For him to return without calling, or messaging or anything was shocking at best.
"Wow. How's he doing?"
A familiar burning feeling filled Yami's chest, and he sighed. Guilt. Ryou had given him the invitation to go with him, to try and work on some of their problems together by spending a little time somewhere other than Domino. He'd considered it briefly, had even worked up enough courage to ask Yuugi his thoughts on the idea, but in the end declined. Yami was stubborn; and there was a part of him that didn't want to work on his problems and get better - losing a close friend to progress had been the straw that rooted him in his ways. He didn't want to get better. He didn't want to have to get better.
Yami wasn't supposed to be there with them, in this town anyway. This was not his time.
In the end Ryou left even without him, to take time out to focus on life and purpose. Yuugi and the others had split up the postcards they'd all received. Over the years, though, the messages became fewer and fewer until they stopped altogether; now, Ryou was back. Even at his most resentful, Yami felt that Ryou had deserved better. Hopefully, the Gods had granted those rewards. If no one had earned it for their trouble, aside from himself, it was Ryou.
"Yeah, I think he's doing okay. I only talked to him for sec. But he seemed well! I guess he's back staying in Domino now. Just settled into his new place, he said. We were invited over tonight. That's why I asked."
For just a few moments, it was a tough decision to make. It wasn't necessarily that he had a plethora of options, but at first Yami wasn't sure if he wanted to confront the swirls of emotion that came with either choice: he wanted to believe that Mokuba would get back home at a decent hour and not be tired as hell, but it wasn't very likely; on the other hand, seeing Ryou was a grab-bag of outcomes as well. He didn't know how Ryou thought of him anymore, or if that had changed over time.
"I just wanted to know if you had plans with Mokuba," Yuugi said.
"No, I didn't." And just like that the answer was clear. "It's fine. I'll go." Hesitancy was still there, tying knots in his stomach. Unfortunately, the likelihood of things with Mokuba was slim to none. There was no sense in being optimistic. And, he decided, he shouldn't waste his time pining for anyone's presence regardless of how he felt.
Yuugi nearly bounced on the balls of his feet, rocking from side to side. He avoided meeting Yami's eyes. "...are you sure? I'm not trying to force you." There was that awkwardness again. Unsure, Yami supposed, of whether or not the agreement was genuine.
But it just made more sense to see about Ryou. They were close friends, once, and he would rather not lose that if he could help it, even if they were completely different all these years later.
"Yeah. It's fine, Yuugi."
Yami decided would be furious if Mokuba texted him before midnight.
(scene shift)
Yuugi just couldn't let things sit the way that they were and be content with them. He sent concerned glances at Yami the entire ride, especially when the first few didn't garner any responses. The air between them was flat, empty, not that Yami had tried to very hard to gauge Yuugi's emotions anyway.
There was no point to it, from Yami's perspective. And there was no easy way to tell Yuugi that he was only irritated because he was horny, either. That was not a conversation or topic he wanted coming up between them, considering their very recent spat.
Ryou lived on the other side of Domino, closer to the downtown area than to the Game Shop. If they were reading the address correctly, Ryou lived in a quaint, blue house, and that wasn't the only thing that was strange. The neighborhood itself was Western in design - larger houses and even white fences around the yards. It was a part of town that Yami had never been to before and he could easily see why. Some of the transfer students from the university stayed there, Yuugi told him.
They were greeted at the door by a stranger, too: a woman with violet hair pulled back into a ponytail that hung over her shoulder. "You must be friends of Ryou. Come on in. Welcome." She spoke in English, though slowly, and both Yuugi and Yami hesitated for a moment. She hastily added a small bow, and they entered.
It was a really large house. The living room was larger than the one in Mokuba's flat, and it would probably swallow part of the kitchen, too. The walls were painted a lighter blue than the outside, and the furniture was beige in color. A large rug adorned the carpeted floor, a darker blue decorated with golden tassels and accents. Ryou sat on the floor in front of one of the couches but scrambled to his feet when he saw them, almost tripping on his way. His smile was bright, and wider than anything Yami remembered seeing before.
"I'm so glad you were able to make it!" he said, arms stretching to envelop the two of them together, tightly. "I was worried something would come up and you wouldn't be able to. I know this was quite last minute, but I wasn't expecting to run into Yuugi so soon."
Ryou's cheery disposition took Yami off-guard; for the first time in a long time, he didn't have a single word to say. He was utterly surprised. That was not the reaction he'd been expecting. While Yami gaped at the man before him, Yuugi said sheepishly,
"I'm glad we could make it, too."
That smile was unwavering, and it made Yami feel a bit unsettled. "I see you've met my wife. Alicia, this is Yuugi and Yami Mutou."
Yami turned to face the woman who had been at the door previously, with the purple hair. He hoped that she would be distracting, at least enough for him to get his bearings. To his surprise, Alicia's face was quite pink, the blush bright again her skin. In a small, peeking voice she asked, "...you two are the Kings of Games?"
"Oh, Ryou, you didn't..." Yuugi answered modestly, waving off the title. He shook his head. "We're just employees at the Kame Game Shop."
Yami nodded, because that was all he was capable of doing - and, he supposed, it was right. The woman was still blushing. "It's an honor to meet you," she said in somewhat broken Japanese and, without another word, she disappeared from sight.
"She plays Duel Monsters a little," Ryou admitted. "She was interested in learning how to play and we hit it off from there."
The implications of that truth suddenly hit him. "You're married," Yami said, awestruck.
Ryou chuckled. "Yep."
It was like a blow to the face. The last time that they had seen each other, Ryou had seemed so... broken, and unsure. Very much like Yami himself had been. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting, and it was wonderful that they were still on good terms, but this was a little much to handle. Ryou had made so much progress since the last time they had seen each other. And Yami...
"I have a few friends coming over," Ryou said to Yuugi, and he realized suddenly that they were still talking. "I'm still waiting for them to get here, but they'd love to start a new campaign of D&D with you guys. I told them I might have guests, but they were fine with it. I thought it might be nice to not duel for a change."
He couldn't just gawk like an idiot the entire time he was there, so Yami forced himself to ask, "How long have you been back in Domino?" It was relevant, safe and expected. And maybe, if he talked, no one would notice how flabbergasted he was.
"What version do you all play?" Yuugi asked simultaneously, his excited tones easily overtaking Yami's voice.
Ryou glanced at him for a moment. "Mostly 3.5."
A failed attempt. Yami kept his mouth shut after that and let them talk about the game. Yuugi had that shiny, glass look in his eye, the one that told everyone that there were plenty more questions on his mind and that he was unafraid to ask them.
Yami pretended that everything was fine as he listened, doing his best to focus on their conversation since they were discussing the activity for the evening. Never mind that Yami was falling apart inside. If he did it quietly enough, maybe no one would notice. He had done tabletops campaigns with Yuugi, was familiar enough with them to fake it through the evening.
Their voices droned on, and he tried to distract himself from looking around the house, at Ryou's comparative trophies. But it was hard not to notice the details due to the sheer size of it. There were too many things fighting for his attention: all of the antique decorations, the bright colors, the flower motif on the wall in the kitchen, the intricately carved table in the center of the room, the polished bookshelves filled with Duel M--
A shrill scream broke his thoughts and Yami was so glad for it that he didn't bother to question its source. A deep sigh escaped his lips instead and he dragged his eyes back to something familiar and small - his hands.
"Oh, Azura," Alicia cried from the doorway. He said the worry cross her face as she caught Ryou's eye. "She must be hungry, dear."
Ryou laughed. "Is it my turn?"
Yuugi was shocked, bright eyes searching the room for the source of the noise. Yami's fists clenched tightly, and he held them to his sides. Ryou had a kid, too?
That was the limit. ...I can't be here right now.
His lungs burned now and that wasn't the same guilt that had racked him before. This was the first crest of stress building, and he knew that it would suffocate him if he let it. Yami was polite. Just after Ryou rushed by him, toward the stairs, he approached Alicia. She still looked mildly concerned. Yami put on his best smile, and asked her softly, "Would it be rude to ask to be let outside? I need a little fresh air." He was trying his best to keep his breaths as deep as possible, to keep his throat open, to speak clearly despite the heat threatening to take him over.
Her eyes widened, and it took her a moment to answer him. When she did it was slow, hesitant; she didn't seem too sure about her speaking skills. "Oh, no. Is it hot? I can turn on the air conditioner--"
Yami shook his head. "I'm fine with going outside, thank you. I hope I'm not being too rude a guest." He spoke in simple phrases so as to not worry her. It was the quickest way to get what he wanted without any fuss.
Not that it was that simple. Yami could feel Yuugi watching him, eyes on his back.
"Ah, this way..." her Japanese was heavily accented, but she was being as polite as possible. All things considered she spoke really well, Yami appreciated it.
When he glanced back, the look in Yuugi's eyes told Yami all he needed to know. There was something wrong, and they both knew it - Yuugi might even be able to feel it, considering that Yami didn't know how to hide his feelings. Lips quivered, and Yami panicked as he considered the possibility of being asked if something was wrong this early in the evening. Yami didn't want to talk; he didn't want to do anything at the moment but breathe in cold air and try to keep his emotions under control.
They'd both hidden too much already.