"Hot for Teacher" by control_freak80
Title: Hot for Teacher
Author: control_freak80
Rating/Warning: PG-13, swearing, sexual harassment Rodney McKay style.
Spoilers: SG1 - New Order Part II, SGA - Rising
Recipient: audrich
Request details: Sam firing a weapon! McKay should be
mentioned/in it and Sam in civvies at some point.
"McKay! Let's go!" Sam strolled into the lab where Rodney had been
holed up with his computer for the last three weeks and clapped him on
the shoulder.
"What? Go where? - Wait - What are you wearing?" Sam couldn't
contain her laughter. The look on Rodney's face was priceless when he
got an eyeful of her outfit. She was wearing a short black skirt,
tight shirt, and knee high boots - not exactly her typical Air Force
gear.
"It's called a skirt, McKay. I certainly hope this isn't the first
time you've seen one, although that would explain a lot."
"Of course I've seen a skirt before! The question is why are
you wearing one? Colonel Carter doesn't wear skirts! I must
have fallen asleep in the lab and this is all a dream." Rodney
pinched himself on the arm and yelped when it actually hurt.
Sam smiled at Rodney's indignant tone and antics, but was a little
disturbed at the fact that the idea of her in a skirt made him think
he was dreaming. She couldn't help but shudder a bit at the thought
of what Rodney's dreams might contain.
"No, you're not dreaming McKay. I am here and I am in a skirt. In
less than a week you are going on a possibly one-way trip to another
galaxy and rumor has it you don't know how to shoot a gun." Rodney
looked liked he was about to say something but Sam cut him off.
"Stop arguing! I'm going to teach you how to shoot. I can only
imagine how many natives you're going to piss off enough to try and
kill you, so you should be able to defend yourself."
"Aha! See, you really do care about me!" Rodney's tone got
arrogant and he waved with his finger around obnoxiously.
"No, McKay, I don't, but if anyone is going to get the opportunity to
shoot you, it's going to be me! So put the computer down, get out of
that chair, and let's go!"
"Fine," McKay announced, "I will go with you, but first you have to
admit you are attracted to me! I mean why else would you wear a mini
skirt and fuck-me-boots to teach me how to shoot a gun?"
Sam shuddered at Rodney's characterization of her boots and her skirt.
"First, this is not a mini skirt - as much as I'm sure your
perverse brain would like it to be."
"I think I know what a -" Sam interrupted Rodney before he could
finish his sentence, she had a point to make.
"Second, I wore the outfit to get you in the right frame of mind.
Quite a few times our off-world trouble has been preceded by some
alien bimbo attempting to use her wiles on General O'Neill or Daniel."
Sam dropped her voice to what she hoped was a husky tone, ran a
fingernail lightly along McKay's forearm, and watched as his eyes
widened and his face turned red.
"And because, you obviously have limited experience with attractive
women, I felt if you learned how to shoot around one, you would be
less distracted off-world. Really McKay, I'm doing you a favor!"
Rodney gave Sam what she figured was his best pervy, self-satisfied,
look and smiled. "Riiiiggghhtt. I get it now. Let's go 'teach me
to shoot.'" Sam wanted to smack Rodney's hands when he used
air-quotes.
Sam almost gave up and walked out of the lab, but she had come for a
purpose. Annoying as he was, she really didn't dislike Rodney, and
she didn't want him to die. She knew he would get a little basic
weapons training before he left, the scientists had already had their
first session, but she also knew, given his temperament, it wouldn't -
and wasn't - going over well. Sam figured she had the best chance of
actually teaching him something. The outfit, she wore just to screw
with him - it really was fun to push his buttons.
"Well, it's me or Sergeant Bates, and I can tell you from experience -
I look better in a skirt." Sam lifted one eyebrow and smiled
knowingly.
McKay got a pained expression on this face and jumped out of his
chair, "Okay! Let's go!"
When Sam pulled the car into the parking lot of the Academy firing
range, she noticed McKay couldn't keep the surprised look off his
face.
"Wait! You're really going to make me shoot a gun?"
"Seriously, McKay, did you really think I was taking you out of the
mountain and off to some motel to have my nefarious way with you?
Because if you were that deluded? I'd have to ask General O'Neill and
Dr. Weir to reconsider taking you to Atlantis." Sam got out of the
car and grabbed her gun case from the back.
"Oh, come on! You know you want a piece of this, all of the ladies
do." Sam rolled her eyes at McKay's antics. His mouth was moving,
and the words - the same ones he always said - were coming out, but,
she just didn't think he believed in them as much anymore.
"McKay! Come on!" Sam grabbed his arm and started dragging him
towards the range.
"God, you are so sexy when you get all forceful!"
"McKay! Stop. I'm going to teach you to shoot and no amount of
sexist behavior is going to get you out of it. I will kick
your ass if necessary!"
Sam and Rodney walked into the range and over to the duty sergeant.
Sam had brought her own piece, but she needed to check one out for
McKay. Because the 9mm was the standard SGC sidearm, she figured that
was what Rodney should learn on.
She handed Rodney his gun and safety equipment, and grabbed her own
set. "Sergeant Forest told me that the west range isn't in use, so
we'll go over there."
"I knew you had a plan to do depraved things to my body! Though I
would have pictured you as more of the seedy motel or storage closet
type, and not too into 'deserted ranges.'" McKay wiggled his eyebrows
suggestively as he prattled on.
"McKay! We are not going to have sex. Not now. Not ever. I am going
to teach you how to shoot a gun. End of story. So start moving!" Sam
thought about 'encouraging' Rodney with her gun, but that probably
wouldn't be the best way to begin the lesson.
Sam and Rodney entered the range and walked over to one of the lanes.
Sam set up the target and began demonstrating the basic elements of
handling the firearm to Rodney.
"I know gun basics, Carter! They covered that in our lesson last week
- it's not like I forgot. If we are really going through with this
ridiculous exercise, can we at least get to the part where you shoot a
gun in that sexy outfit while I watch from behind?"
Sam resisted the urge to shoot McKay, but she persevered. "Okay, I'm
going to show you, and then you get to try. First, the most important
thing is stance. Watch me." Sam slowly moved her legs into position.
She knew McKay was watching because he was practically drooling over
her boots.
"Make sure you're holding the gun properly, with your thumb resting on
the safety, and the pad of your index finger in contact with trigger,
and it has a little bit of a kick, so you'll need to brace it with
your other hand. Once you have your grip and stance, line yourself up
with the target and squeeze the trigger - don't pull! Now be a good
boy and put on your safety gear." Sam put her gear on, waited until
McKay was ready, and fired off an entire clip in rapid succession at
the target.
Sam took off her safety gear and recalled the target. Unsurprisingly,
all of her shots were in the kill zone. "I hope you were watching me
shoot, and not just ogling my goodies, because now it's your turn."
When Rodney turned slightly pink, she figured she had her answer. He
hadn't been watching her shoot, but watching her body.
Sam rolled her eyes. "Front and center, McKay! Time to see what
you're made of."
Sam put a new target on the line, sent it back, and moved off the
side. Rodney centered himself in front of the target and started
trying to work on his stance.
"Move your left leg a little forward," Rodney moved his leg a foot
forward - about eleven inches too far. "Okay, move it back about a
foot. Good! Now move your right leg to the right - no your other
right. McKay!" Sam gave up trying to tell Rodney how and just grabbed
his calf.
"Aha! I knew you wanted to get in my pants!" Sam ignored Rodney and
manipulated his legs until they were in the right position.
"Okay. Don't move! Now, grip the gun - good! Now aim and shoot!"
Sam almost couldn't hold back her laughter when Rodney wildly fired
the gun in the direction of the target. He was obviously trying very
hard, but it wasn't going very well. He lowered his gun and squinted
at the target.
"Well did I hit it?" Rodney asked expectantly. Sam didn't really
want to answer, because his shot had gone high over the target.
"Let's finish the clip and then we'll count. Remember squeeze the
trigger, like you would a lemon." Sam smiled brightly when Rodney
gave her a withering look.
"That was original." Rodney rolled his eyes and turned his attention
back to the target. He kept shooting until the clip was empty,
stopping every couple shots for corrections. When he finished the
clip he stepped back and took off his gear.
"Well?" Rodney glanced at her with an expectant look on his face.
Sam recalled the target. There was one bullet hole in it.
"Well, I think you nicked his ear! That's a good start!" Sam tried
to sound enthusiastic, it really was a good start, but she knew Rodney
would consider that a failure.
"Right. I knew I shouldn't have trusted a woman in fuck-me-boots to
teach me - too distracting. Okay, I came, I saw, I shot the gun, can
we go have sex now?"
"No. You are going to shoot again." Sam pushed Rodney towards the
target and reloaded his gun. "We are going to stay here until you hit
the target a few more times. Don't look at me like that. Do you
really want to make an ass of yourself in front of all of your
subordinates?" Sam watched as a pained look crossed Rodney's face.
"That's what I thought. Now try again." Sam moved to the side and
watched as Rodney adjusted his stance, making the corrections she had
shown him in the last try. Rodney really wasn't a bad guy, and with a
little help from her, he would be a More Likely to Stay Alive Not So
Bad Guy.
After all, if anyone was going to kill him, it was going to be her.
Author: control_freak80
Rating/Warning: PG-13, swearing, sexual harassment Rodney McKay style.
Spoilers: SG1 - New Order Part II, SGA - Rising
Recipient: audrich
Request details: Sam firing a weapon! McKay should be
mentioned/in it and Sam in civvies at some point.
"McKay! Let's go!" Sam strolled into the lab where Rodney had been
holed up with his computer for the last three weeks and clapped him on
the shoulder.
"What? Go where? - Wait - What are you wearing?" Sam couldn't
contain her laughter. The look on Rodney's face was priceless when he
got an eyeful of her outfit. She was wearing a short black skirt,
tight shirt, and knee high boots - not exactly her typical Air Force
gear.
"It's called a skirt, McKay. I certainly hope this isn't the first
time you've seen one, although that would explain a lot."
"Of course I've seen a skirt before! The question is why are
you wearing one? Colonel Carter doesn't wear skirts! I must
have fallen asleep in the lab and this is all a dream." Rodney
pinched himself on the arm and yelped when it actually hurt.
Sam smiled at Rodney's indignant tone and antics, but was a little
disturbed at the fact that the idea of her in a skirt made him think
he was dreaming. She couldn't help but shudder a bit at the thought
of what Rodney's dreams might contain.
"No, you're not dreaming McKay. I am here and I am in a skirt. In
less than a week you are going on a possibly one-way trip to another
galaxy and rumor has it you don't know how to shoot a gun." Rodney
looked liked he was about to say something but Sam cut him off.
"Stop arguing! I'm going to teach you how to shoot. I can only
imagine how many natives you're going to piss off enough to try and
kill you, so you should be able to defend yourself."
"Aha! See, you really do care about me!" Rodney's tone got
arrogant and he waved with his finger around obnoxiously.
"No, McKay, I don't, but if anyone is going to get the opportunity to
shoot you, it's going to be me! So put the computer down, get out of
that chair, and let's go!"
"Fine," McKay announced, "I will go with you, but first you have to
admit you are attracted to me! I mean why else would you wear a mini
skirt and fuck-me-boots to teach me how to shoot a gun?"
Sam shuddered at Rodney's characterization of her boots and her skirt.
"First, this is not a mini skirt - as much as I'm sure your
perverse brain would like it to be."
"I think I know what a -" Sam interrupted Rodney before he could
finish his sentence, she had a point to make.
"Second, I wore the outfit to get you in the right frame of mind.
Quite a few times our off-world trouble has been preceded by some
alien bimbo attempting to use her wiles on General O'Neill or Daniel."
Sam dropped her voice to what she hoped was a husky tone, ran a
fingernail lightly along McKay's forearm, and watched as his eyes
widened and his face turned red.
"And because, you obviously have limited experience with attractive
women, I felt if you learned how to shoot around one, you would be
less distracted off-world. Really McKay, I'm doing you a favor!"
Rodney gave Sam what she figured was his best pervy, self-satisfied,
look and smiled. "Riiiiggghhtt. I get it now. Let's go 'teach me
to shoot.'" Sam wanted to smack Rodney's hands when he used
air-quotes.
Sam almost gave up and walked out of the lab, but she had come for a
purpose. Annoying as he was, she really didn't dislike Rodney, and
she didn't want him to die. She knew he would get a little basic
weapons training before he left, the scientists had already had their
first session, but she also knew, given his temperament, it wouldn't -
and wasn't - going over well. Sam figured she had the best chance of
actually teaching him something. The outfit, she wore just to screw
with him - it really was fun to push his buttons.
"Well, it's me or Sergeant Bates, and I can tell you from experience -
I look better in a skirt." Sam lifted one eyebrow and smiled
knowingly.
McKay got a pained expression on this face and jumped out of his
chair, "Okay! Let's go!"
When Sam pulled the car into the parking lot of the Academy firing
range, she noticed McKay couldn't keep the surprised look off his
face.
"Wait! You're really going to make me shoot a gun?"
"Seriously, McKay, did you really think I was taking you out of the
mountain and off to some motel to have my nefarious way with you?
Because if you were that deluded? I'd have to ask General O'Neill and
Dr. Weir to reconsider taking you to Atlantis." Sam got out of the
car and grabbed her gun case from the back.
"Oh, come on! You know you want a piece of this, all of the ladies
do." Sam rolled her eyes at McKay's antics. His mouth was moving,
and the words - the same ones he always said - were coming out, but,
she just didn't think he believed in them as much anymore.
"McKay! Come on!" Sam grabbed his arm and started dragging him
towards the range.
"God, you are so sexy when you get all forceful!"
"McKay! Stop. I'm going to teach you to shoot and no amount of
sexist behavior is going to get you out of it. I will kick
your ass if necessary!"
Sam and Rodney walked into the range and over to the duty sergeant.
Sam had brought her own piece, but she needed to check one out for
McKay. Because the 9mm was the standard SGC sidearm, she figured that
was what Rodney should learn on.
She handed Rodney his gun and safety equipment, and grabbed her own
set. "Sergeant Forest told me that the west range isn't in use, so
we'll go over there."
"I knew you had a plan to do depraved things to my body! Though I
would have pictured you as more of the seedy motel or storage closet
type, and not too into 'deserted ranges.'" McKay wiggled his eyebrows
suggestively as he prattled on.
"McKay! We are not going to have sex. Not now. Not ever. I am going
to teach you how to shoot a gun. End of story. So start moving!" Sam
thought about 'encouraging' Rodney with her gun, but that probably
wouldn't be the best way to begin the lesson.
Sam and Rodney entered the range and walked over to one of the lanes.
Sam set up the target and began demonstrating the basic elements of
handling the firearm to Rodney.
"I know gun basics, Carter! They covered that in our lesson last week
- it's not like I forgot. If we are really going through with this
ridiculous exercise, can we at least get to the part where you shoot a
gun in that sexy outfit while I watch from behind?"
Sam resisted the urge to shoot McKay, but she persevered. "Okay, I'm
going to show you, and then you get to try. First, the most important
thing is stance. Watch me." Sam slowly moved her legs into position.
She knew McKay was watching because he was practically drooling over
her boots.
"Make sure you're holding the gun properly, with your thumb resting on
the safety, and the pad of your index finger in contact with trigger,
and it has a little bit of a kick, so you'll need to brace it with
your other hand. Once you have your grip and stance, line yourself up
with the target and squeeze the trigger - don't pull! Now be a good
boy and put on your safety gear." Sam put her gear on, waited until
McKay was ready, and fired off an entire clip in rapid succession at
the target.
Sam took off her safety gear and recalled the target. Unsurprisingly,
all of her shots were in the kill zone. "I hope you were watching me
shoot, and not just ogling my goodies, because now it's your turn."
When Rodney turned slightly pink, she figured she had her answer. He
hadn't been watching her shoot, but watching her body.
Sam rolled her eyes. "Front and center, McKay! Time to see what
you're made of."
Sam put a new target on the line, sent it back, and moved off the
side. Rodney centered himself in front of the target and started
trying to work on his stance.
"Move your left leg a little forward," Rodney moved his leg a foot
forward - about eleven inches too far. "Okay, move it back about a
foot. Good! Now move your right leg to the right - no your other
right. McKay!" Sam gave up trying to tell Rodney how and just grabbed
his calf.
"Aha! I knew you wanted to get in my pants!" Sam ignored Rodney and
manipulated his legs until they were in the right position.
"Okay. Don't move! Now, grip the gun - good! Now aim and shoot!"
Sam almost couldn't hold back her laughter when Rodney wildly fired
the gun in the direction of the target. He was obviously trying very
hard, but it wasn't going very well. He lowered his gun and squinted
at the target.
"Well did I hit it?" Rodney asked expectantly. Sam didn't really
want to answer, because his shot had gone high over the target.
"Let's finish the clip and then we'll count. Remember squeeze the
trigger, like you would a lemon." Sam smiled brightly when Rodney
gave her a withering look.
"That was original." Rodney rolled his eyes and turned his attention
back to the target. He kept shooting until the clip was empty,
stopping every couple shots for corrections. When he finished the
clip he stepped back and took off his gear.
"Well?" Rodney glanced at her with an expectant look on his face.
Sam recalled the target. There was one bullet hole in it.
"Well, I think you nicked his ear! That's a good start!" Sam tried
to sound enthusiastic, it really was a good start, but she knew Rodney
would consider that a failure.
"Right. I knew I shouldn't have trusted a woman in fuck-me-boots to
teach me - too distracting. Okay, I came, I saw, I shot the gun, can
we go have sex now?"
"No. You are going to shoot again." Sam pushed Rodney towards the
target and reloaded his gun. "We are going to stay here until you hit
the target a few more times. Don't look at me like that. Do you
really want to make an ass of yourself in front of all of your
subordinates?" Sam watched as a pained look crossed Rodney's face.
"That's what I thought. Now try again." Sam moved to the side and
watched as Rodney adjusted his stance, making the corrections she had
shown him in the last try. Rodney really wasn't a bad guy, and with a
little help from her, he would be a More Likely to Stay Alive Not So
Bad Guy.
After all, if anyone was going to kill him, it was going to be her.