The Dilemma of a Two-Slice Toaster

[salvius]

I realize this is going to sound very odd, but there is a significant problem with two-slice toasters and type A personalities (which, as most of you know, I am). I believe that this may very well be one of the major reasons for the amount of violence in the world

Comments

[midnightesper]

Brother, you just need to learn to eat faster/smarter. :-P See if you organize the ingredients in advance you can dress, and polish off the first two slices while the second two cook. This way you have a consistently nummy chian of warm toast.

Of course this is coming from the man who takes his bags of Skittles, dumps them all out and then organizes them into columns based on color, and then eats them in rainbow progression row by row, starting aty the bottom to eat the colors that have the greatest amount first. And does all this just so he will maintain balance and order among his victims, so that they don't revolt, and know that each will have their turn to be devoured equally. Cause you know I'd hate to be called a "flavorist".

[anonymous]

That's why a smart man asks his Avie if he can borrow the four-slice toaster to make his morning toast. ;-)

[ninjaslug]

All toaster ovens should be loved equally. No more of this de facto discrimination! And certainly let us not return to a time where there is de jure discrimination.

Do we remember the first half of the 20th century at all? All of the seperate outlets that 2 slice toasters had to use. Many of these outlets were sub-code. And the 4 slice toasters all had the better outlets - some even with grounding facilities!

I thought we were done with most of these problems with the Million Toaster March.

[gm_avie]

Man. All you Toaster Ovens are the same - seeing insult and injustice at every turn. Making even the most innocent of comment into a statement for all toasterkind.

Next thing you know, we'll be expected to provide shelter and good, clean power for all two-slot toasters to make up for the oppression they've suffered. What about the Bagel Toaster? Has anybody paid one iota of attention to HIS plight?

[ninjaslug]

And why not? Is providing electricity and shelter too much to ask that the government provide? What are my taxes going for?

Just because some toasters were born into a family with a well known name doesn't mean that they are more of a toaster than say a generically named one. Enough of all of this caste system!

Remember, this is a government by the toasters and for the toasters.

[garrun]

Don't forger the Hot Diggity Dogger...

[alphawench]

OK, my solution (assuming a 4-slice toaster is not an option):

Get an extension cord so the toaster can sit on the table next to where you plan to eat. bring your butter to the table as well. after the first two slices come out, start the next two so they come to toasty perfection while you eat the first two.

Two sets of warm toast, no discontinuity of getting up in between.

Boss....

[turkchief]

You hurt my brain some times....TC