Fic: "Ch" Is for Changes

Jan 05, 2014 05:42

Title: "Ch" Is for Changes
Pairing: Jeff/Jensen
Content Notes: AU, mpreg
Word Count: 2499
Rating: R
Summary: Finally settled into a comfortable life with Jeff, Jensen finds himself unexpectedly pregnant.

A/N: This was written as a gift for kiltsocks as part of the mpreg-xmas-xchg. Also posted on AO3.

Jensen's sister gives birth on a Sunday morning in early January. The sun hasn't fully risen yet when Jensen receives the news. In the semi-darkness of the bedroom, he fumbles for his phone. Reading the text and spotting the accompanying picture, Jensen can't help but smile. His sister looks worn out but happy as she holds her newborn to her chest.

Phone still in hand, Jensen scoots over to the other side of the bed where Jeff is snoring softly. When he's close enough, Jensen kisses Jeff's jaw and runs his fingers through the curls of Jeff's beard, along the sleep-warm skin of his cheek.

Jeff grunts and catches Jensen's wandering fingers in his. He squints up at Jensen through one opened eye. "Hmm?"

"We've got a niece," says Jensen.

Jeff pushes himself up on his elbows. "Janey had her baby?" he asks.

Nodding, Jensen hands his phone to Jeff.

Jeff screws up his eyes against the blinding light of the screen and grabs his reading glasses from the nightstand to scroll through the message.

Later, after arriving at the hospital and congratulating the new parents, Jensen gets to hold his niece for the first time. Cautiously, he lifts her up and brings her close to his chest. She is small and delicate in his hands. Jensen reaches for her tiny fist when he feels Jeff's presence behind him.

Arms wind around Jensen's waist, Jeff inching closer to get a glimpse of the newborn. "A baby looks good on you," he whispers and squeezes Jensen's sides.

Jensen grins at Jeff and leans back against his chest.

*

On the night of Jensen's graduation, Jeff surprises him with a trip to Italy. Jensen holds the gift coupon Jeff designed in his hand and is about to protest when Jeff leans down and kisses him.

"Just the two of us," Jeff says. "No libraries, no books, no thesis." He nuzzles along Jensen's neck, loosens his tie and skips lower to lick across Jensen's clavicle. "Although I wouldn't object to pulling one or two all-nighters."

Jensen laughs, feeling light and free despite the fact that his heart is still beating hard and fast-he's sure Jeff can feel it where his hand is resting on Jensen's chest.

"That a yes, sweetheart?"

"Yeah," Jensen breathes, spreading his legs when Jeff unfastens the button on his dress pants and slips his fingers, strong and sure, inside Jensen's briefs.

They pass the next three weeks wrapped up in each other, in a whirl of relaxing and sightseeing and dining and fucking. Shortly after they get back to the States, Jeff gets sick.

He spends most of his time perched either on or in front of the toilet. Jensen supplies Jeff with a variety of herbal teas and saltine crackers and curls up around him under the pile of blankets in their bed, hand settled under Jeff's shirt.

"This sucks," mumbles Jeff and lets out a sigh so long-suffering it makes Jensen chuckle.

He rubs Jeff's upset stomach in small circles. "I think you're gonna live."

Jeff's only response is another grunt.

*

He figured it would come to this.

Taking one last gulp of water, Jensen rinses the acidic taste from his mouth and scowls at Jeff, who's leaning against the doorframe. "Thanks for passing your disease on to me," Jensen says, without any real heat. Jeff has lost his sickly lividity, appears healthy again with his beard nice and full, completely unshaven. Jensen kind of digs the look, and he's glad Jeff's doing better.

"That's what you get for mocking me and my pain, sweetheart." Jeff cradles Jensen's face in his hands, scratches the sensitive skin behind his ears. Jensen tries his best not to purr.

"I wasn't mocking you," he insists.

Jeff raises his eyebrows and shoots him an amused look. "Tea?" he asks and kisses Jensen's forehead.

*

Jensen first suspects that there's maybe something more going on when he still feels like death warmed over ten days later. He's not ready to think about it further, but a suspicion pops into his mind and takes up residence. Jeff has been thinking, too, judged by the increasingly worried glances he's been giving him and the fact that he's called Jensen twice since he's left for his studio this morning.

The domestic remedies that proved effective on Jeff don't do much for Jensen, and so he spends another day commuting between the bathroom and the couch. He feels too sick to read or watch TV, drifts in and out of sleep all day long.

He wakes to fingers carding through his hair and the comforting smell of soup in his nose. His stomach rumbles, and Jensen stays completely still until he's sure that there's no new bout of nausea advancing. He blinks up at Jeff and pushes closer to the pleasant touches of his hand.

"Feeling any better?"

Jeff's voice is raspy and deep, and Jensen wonders how long Jeff's been sitting here with Jensen's head in his lap. He shrugs, giving Jeff a tight-lipped smile.

Jeff sighs. "I made some chicken broth. Think your stomach can handle that?"

"You spoil me." Jensen sits up, accepting the bowl and spoon Jeff hands him. He settles close to Jeff, spooning up some broth and feeling warm and cared for when Jeff continues to run his fingers through his hair.

His stomach can handle a full bowl of broth. Jensen's relieved to have kept down at least some food and decides to leave his camp on the couch to go watch Jeff do the dishes.

"I picked up some things at the pharmacy on my way home," Jeff says, placing a bowl in the dish rack.

Jensen tears his eyes away from the play of muscles in Jeff's arms and back. Jeff indicates the little bag that sits on one of the counters with a shrug of his head, and Jensen gets up to grab it. A wet hand on his arm stops Jensen before he can open the bag.

"Jensen-"

Jensen looks at Jeff, takes in the way his face flushes and eyes shift, and Jensen knows what's inside the bag. "I'm on the pill," he insists. "I've never missed a single, damned pill. You know that." While he says the words, Jensen wonders who exactly he's trying to convince.

Jeff remains completely silent. Gone is the nervousness Jensen swears was there just moments ago. Hands settle over Jensen's hips, stilling him. "It's just a test, sweetheart. Nothing more. We'll take the test, and then we'll deal with it, all right?"

Jensen wraps his arms around Jeff, falling gladly into the embrace when Jeff gathers him close. He feels jittery despite the comfort Jeff's hugs always give him. "I'm not prepared to have a kid," Jensen admits.

*

Jensen had a pregnancy scare his junior year of college. He won't ever forget how helpless he felt while waiting for the test result, thoughts of dropping out of college and being a single parent or not becoming a parent at all swirling in his head. Things with Jeff were still new back then-they'd only begun casually seeing each other weeks before. Locked in a cramped stall in their dorm bathroom, it was Jared who tried to keep Jensen from crawling up the walls during the crucial five minutes.

Now, years later, Jensen has Jeff waiting with him. They're leaning against the bathroom counter side by side, their hands clasped between them and Jeff's thumb thrumming a nervous rhythm against Jensen's skin.

Jensen tries to imagine it, being pregnant and becoming a dad instead of returning to school and pursuing his PhD. Doing both? He huffs out a breath and nudges his shoulder against Jeff's. "You look."

His heart is trying to beat its way out of his chest as Jensen watches Jeff pick up the test. He bites his lip and waits for Jeff to speak.

"Positive," says Jeff and turns the stick over to let Jensen see it.

Jensen nods but doesn't know what to say.

*

"It's the timing," Jensen admits a couple of hours later when they're already in bed. "I want to start a family with you. I can't wait for it, really, but this is just shitty timing."

"It is," Jeff agrees, tracing his thumb down Jensen's cheek.

"It's not that I don't want to have a kid …" Jensen trails off, blinking at Jeff.

"I'm not sure what to tell you. It's you who's doing the hard job here, it's your body. I can't tell you what to do."

"What do you want?"

"Honestly? I want to support you and be there for you, no matter what your decision." Jeff grins. "I wouldn't object to taking some time off in eight or nine months or so. I'm not getting any younger."

Jensen snorts and rolls his eyes. "You developing an age complex now, old man?" He kisses Jeff and pets his beard. He doesn't break eye contact while he scratches the spot where grey sprinkles the mass of Jeff's dark curls and shifts a little closer. Jeff, by just being there, exudes a security Jensen wants to roll around in. It was one of the first things that attracted Jensen to Jeff, and he's not above admitting that. He feels safe in Jeff's presence and like he can admit anything without ever having to fear losing Jeff. Jensen can't imagine doing this-possibly carrying a baby and becoming a parent-with anyone other than Jeff.

"I should talk to my PhD advisor before making any kind of decision. And go see a doctor, I suppose." Jensen fiddles with the seam of Jeff's shirt. "This shouldn't make me feel so queasy. Why is this so scary?"

"Because we're not at all prepared for it," Jeff laughs around a yawn. "We should try to get some sleep and talk about it some more tomorrow, and the day after that, and the next weeks as well, until we've found a decision we're feeling good about."

Jensen nods and yawns, too.

*

"You're starting to show," Jeff grunts out when Jensen leans back and grabs onto Jeff's thighs for support.

Jensen looks down his body to his stomach where there's a definite outward curve visible. His middle had softened gradually over the last weeks, but it's only been yesterday that he's noticed that he's now sporting a very real baby bump. "You like that?" Jensen asks Jeff, picking up the rhythm and squeezing his muscles around Jeff inside him.

"God, yeah," groans Jeff, sliding one hand from Jensen's hip to his belly, sprawling it across the underside of the curve. His other hand finds its way to Jensen's neck, thumb nudging Jensen's lips.

Jensen opens his mouth and wets Jeff's thumb with his tongue. He moans loudly when Jeff drags the moist finger along and around his nipple. Pregnancy has made his nipples incredibly sensitive, and Jensen is almost embarrassed by how much it turns him on when Jeff plays with them.

"You don't know how hot it is to see you react like that," Jeff mumbles and gathers Jensen close to his chest for the last few thrusts.

When they're spent and sticky, Jensen reaches over the edge of the bed for his carelessly discarded bag. He shows Jeff the book he bought used for two bucks this afternoon.

Scanning the cover, Jeff turns surprised eyes at Jensen. "Baby names?"

"Kid will be here in less than four months. I figured we should start talking about names."

Putting the book down on the sheets between them, Jensen reaches for the slip of paper that's tucked in-between the pages. Once he started flipping through the book, he couldn't resist jotting down some of his favorite names. Jensen keeps the list to himself for now and lets Jeff write down his own favorites, too. There's gonna be some overlap between the names, he is sure.

*

Jensen gives birth on a Wednesday night at the end of February. Although two weeks overdue, their kid seems to be in a hurry at last. Jeff has enough time to grab Jensen's hospital bag, help Jensen get into the car, and take off, before Jensen informs him that he's about to start pushing.

With the help of three nurses and a wheelchair, they rush Jensen down the hospital corridors and manage to set him up in a room just in time for the baby to be born.

"It's a boy!" the midwife proclaims, placing a squirming, wailing baby on Jensen's chest.

"Oh God," Jensen croaks out, head spinning as he brings his son closer. The baby's cries pierce Jensen's ears. He doesn't know where exactly to put his hands and how to soothe his son's distress, but to have him here, to feel his weight on his chest and have him squirming in his arms makes something so fierce bloom in Jensen he never thought possible. It seems right to have decided to put his life on hold to have the baby, worth it to postpone the things he'd planned. When a second hand joins his on the baby's back, Jensen glances up at Jeff.

Jeff's face is pale, but he's grinning so wide it's infectious. He brushes his lips against Jensen's temple, then bends down to kiss their son, too.

"I'm so proud of you," Jeff tells him. "You're amazing."

Jeff's eyes look suspiciously wet, and when they're alone moments later while the baby gets his first checkup, and Jeff tells him he loves him and can't wait to start their new life together, Jensen feels pretty choked up himself.

They wait more or less patiently for the baby's exam to be over. Lying here and having a moment to regroup himself makes Jensen realize how tired he is, how his body aches everywhere. He blinks and winces when he shifts a bit to get into a more comfortable position. "I'd like my baby back now."

Jeff squeezes Jensen's neck reassuringly. "I don't think it's gonna take much longer." He settles himself on the edge of the hospital bed, laces his and Jensen's fingers. "So we'll go with Theodore then, right?"

Smiling, Jensen nods. He has a son now, and his son has a name. He and Jeff are parents. It is kind of surreal how much his life has changed in such a short span of time.

"I want to take you both home right now," says Jeff, flushing while rubbing his beard. "It's gonna be weird to be alone tonight. I want you there, and I want Teddy to keep us awake and not let us get any sleep."

Jensen snorts. "That is a bit weird."

"I know," Jeff laughs. He cups Jensen's face in his hands and lets his gaze wander over Jensen. Bringing their foreheads together, Jeff kisses the corner of Jensen's mouth, gentle and sweet, and Jensen is not sure how he's supposed to keep his chest from bursting with all the love and warmth inside of him.

genre: mpreg, genre: au, rating: r, *jeff/jensen

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