(no subject)
Title: To Break My Fall
Pairing: Addie/Izzie
Word Count: 698
Summary: “She never had any holidays with Denny, and when she suddenly grips your hand more tightly, you know she’s thinking about him.” (Thanksgiving, 2007)
Izzie likes the crunchy leaves. She will go slightly out of her way to step on a crunchy-looking leaf. It makes you smile, the way most things about Izzie make you smile.
When you met her, she was so bright, and so alive. Young and passionate and impossibly beautiful. Losing Denny made her quieter, and she doesn’t laugh as much or smile as much- but when she does, it makes you feel warmer. It makes you want to wrap her up in your arms and protect her from anything bad happening to her, ever again.
You grab her hand and thread your fingers through hers as she crunches another leaf. She rests her head on your shoulder and says, “It’s almost Thanksgiving.” It will be her second Thanksgiving without Denny, and your first together- though that’s odd to say, because she never had a Thanksgiving with Denny. She never had any holidays with Denny, and when she suddenly grips your hand more tightly, you know she’s thinking about him.
You turn your head to kiss the top of hers. “I’m sorry,” she says. Her voice is quiet and threatens to shake.
“Don’t be,” you say. Sometimes you hate Denny for breaking her like this. It’s more than a year later and she is okay, mostly, but she will never be exactly the same. And you can love her and try to protect her but you can’t change what has already happened.
Izzie lifts her head from its place on your shoulder and turns to look at you. You stop walking, and she reaches out to hold your other hand. “Addie. I can’t… I can’t keep expecting you to be okay with this.”
You let go of her hands and pull her close to you. You hold her like that, out in the open, for anyone to see. “You loved him,” you say. “You’ll always love him.”
Izzie sinks into you and you can feel her shake her head. “I love you, Addison. I love you.”
“I know, baby,” you say, and pull back to kiss her softly. “But you don’t have to stop loving Denny. I wouldn’t want you to stop.” You know you’re not a replacement for him, you know you’re not rebound. You love her and you know she means it when she tells you she loves you. You wonder what would have happened, where you’d be now, if Denny had lived. You wonder if you and Izzie would be friends, if maybe you’d have given in and gone back to New York with Mark.
Izzie inhales deeply, and as if she knows what you’re thinking, says, “I think it was supposed to be like this. I think… you and me… we were supposed to end up together. This is right. This is how it’s supposed to be.”
You slide your arm around her waist, and she returns her head to your shoulder as you start walking again. For a few minutes, you’re quiet, until something occurs to you. “Who’s going to cook?”
And there it is- Izzie’s laugh. It makes you grin and pull her closer again because you’re pretty sure it’s your favorite sound.
“I’m serious!” you say, beginning to laugh yourself. “I have no idea how to cook a turkey.”
“Burke helped me cook my first turkey two years ago. I can cook a turkey. I’ll cook, and you’ll help.”
You raise an eyebrow. “I’ll help?”
She swats your arm and pretends to be annoyed. “Yes, you’ll help. I’m not doing it all by myself, and Meredith and George and Cristina are no help. And it’s our first Thanksgiving. Our first big holiday together.”
Your thumb is rubbing circles on the small of her back, and this time your foot finds a crunchy leaf. “Okay. I’ll help you make Thanksgiving dinner.”
Her smile is wide as she looks at you, and the warmth spreads from your heart to every point in your body. “Good,” she says, almost giddy. “Then we can start planning for Christmas.”
Izzie leans in and kisses you, and the familiar taste of her makes you think that yes, this is where you were supposed to end up all along.
Pairing: Addie/Izzie
Word Count: 698
Summary: “She never had any holidays with Denny, and when she suddenly grips your hand more tightly, you know she’s thinking about him.” (Thanksgiving, 2007)
Izzie likes the crunchy leaves. She will go slightly out of her way to step on a crunchy-looking leaf. It makes you smile, the way most things about Izzie make you smile.
When you met her, she was so bright, and so alive. Young and passionate and impossibly beautiful. Losing Denny made her quieter, and she doesn’t laugh as much or smile as much- but when she does, it makes you feel warmer. It makes you want to wrap her up in your arms and protect her from anything bad happening to her, ever again.
You grab her hand and thread your fingers through hers as she crunches another leaf. She rests her head on your shoulder and says, “It’s almost Thanksgiving.” It will be her second Thanksgiving without Denny, and your first together- though that’s odd to say, because she never had a Thanksgiving with Denny. She never had any holidays with Denny, and when she suddenly grips your hand more tightly, you know she’s thinking about him.
You turn your head to kiss the top of hers. “I’m sorry,” she says. Her voice is quiet and threatens to shake.
“Don’t be,” you say. Sometimes you hate Denny for breaking her like this. It’s more than a year later and she is okay, mostly, but she will never be exactly the same. And you can love her and try to protect her but you can’t change what has already happened.
Izzie lifts her head from its place on your shoulder and turns to look at you. You stop walking, and she reaches out to hold your other hand. “Addie. I can’t… I can’t keep expecting you to be okay with this.”
You let go of her hands and pull her close to you. You hold her like that, out in the open, for anyone to see. “You loved him,” you say. “You’ll always love him.”
Izzie sinks into you and you can feel her shake her head. “I love you, Addison. I love you.”
“I know, baby,” you say, and pull back to kiss her softly. “But you don’t have to stop loving Denny. I wouldn’t want you to stop.” You know you’re not a replacement for him, you know you’re not rebound. You love her and you know she means it when she tells you she loves you. You wonder what would have happened, where you’d be now, if Denny had lived. You wonder if you and Izzie would be friends, if maybe you’d have given in and gone back to New York with Mark.
Izzie inhales deeply, and as if she knows what you’re thinking, says, “I think it was supposed to be like this. I think… you and me… we were supposed to end up together. This is right. This is how it’s supposed to be.”
You slide your arm around her waist, and she returns her head to your shoulder as you start walking again. For a few minutes, you’re quiet, until something occurs to you. “Who’s going to cook?”
And there it is- Izzie’s laugh. It makes you grin and pull her closer again because you’re pretty sure it’s your favorite sound.
“I’m serious!” you say, beginning to laugh yourself. “I have no idea how to cook a turkey.”
“Burke helped me cook my first turkey two years ago. I can cook a turkey. I’ll cook, and you’ll help.”
You raise an eyebrow. “I’ll help?”
She swats your arm and pretends to be annoyed. “Yes, you’ll help. I’m not doing it all by myself, and Meredith and George and Cristina are no help. And it’s our first Thanksgiving. Our first big holiday together.”
Your thumb is rubbing circles on the small of her back, and this time your foot finds a crunchy leaf. “Okay. I’ll help you make Thanksgiving dinner.”
Her smile is wide as she looks at you, and the warmth spreads from your heart to every point in your body. “Good,” she says, almost giddy. “Then we can start planning for Christmas.”
Izzie leans in and kisses you, and the familiar taste of her makes you think that yes, this is where you were supposed to end up all along.