Still Hunt [Chapter Eleven]
Series Title: Still hunt
Chapter: eleven
~
Please leave your message after the tone.
“Ae-cha, it’s me, again.
I hope everything’s still okay for tomorrow, I was just phoning to confirm, but I guess you’re not at home right now.
I’m guessing you heard about the weather, so please let me know if your train gets delayed or cancelled, although I’m sure it’ll be fine.
Oh, and I thought I’d let you know, I still can’t get in touch with Satoru.
You said I should call him, so I did earlier today, it must have been about 9am, and I couldn’t get through at all. I’ve been trying all day, but I’m pretty sure his cell is switched off, and the house phone seems to be disconnected, he must have unplugged it…
I probably should have got the hint, but I’m considering calling the studio, or even turning up at the apartment. I can’t say for certain what I’m going to do yet, either one of those will probably just make things worse.
Well anyway, I guess we can talk more tomorrow.
Please let me know if you can’t make it.”
~
My head…
My head is hurting.
“Satoru,”
Hands on me. Her hands on me.
“You can wake up now.”
I can’t bear to open my eyes.
“Satoru, open your eyes.”
I can feel her clammy hands on my skin.
“Don’t touch me…”
Why do you continue to do so?
“Please open your eyes; I want to look at them.”
It hurts, but I manage to open them, and I instantly regret it.
“Stop it-”
Her hands on my face, holding me still, her face so close to mine, staring at me, inspecting me, studying me…
“The bruising seems to have gone down.”
And then I suddenly remember everything.
“You-”
“I’m here.”
“Where is You?”
“You? What are you talking about?”
“Where is You-san-”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,”
I cannot see perfectly, I am barely awake, I try to push you away, but I am restrained.
Why am I here, like this?
“Please, let me go,”
She strokes my hair comfortingly, only making my panicking worsen. I cannot stop her, I can barely hold my head up, and as she notices this she tilts my head gently back against the soft material of my arm chair.
“Are you still tired?”
She straddles me, one leg either side of my lap on the little space of the arm chair, staring into my eyes as if trying to read my thoughts.
My body instantly rejects her actions, except I can't do anything.
“You need to rest.”
The last time you used those words you hit me over the head.
“Why are you doing this…”
She does not answer me with words.
I feel her lips against my exposed neck, and I instantly shiver away from her. I try to fight against the restraints on my limbs, tying me tightly to my arm chair, the skin of my wrists being rubbed raw in friction.
She ignores my struggling at first, she does not even seem to notice it, even as my fear takes control over me, and I can’t help screaming for someone, anyone to help me, until she suddenly places her hands over my mouth to silence me.
“Please be quiet, or I will hurt you.”
~
You couldn’t help but wish he had worn a scarf, or at least a thicker coat. As he had left the apartment he had cursed himself all the way to the station, the snow continuing to fall around him only making the cold air even icier.
He stood on the platform, surprised but thankful that the trains were still running at all. The tracks were completely snowed under, as well as most of the buildings in the area.
I must be crazy to wait around outside in this weather, although I don’t really have a choice.
Pulling his coat around his thin figure a little tighter, he couldn’t help but struggle to remember Ae-cha’s face. He realised this was going to be a problem when her train arrived, when all he could remember was that ‘she had lovely hair’.
At least, I’m sure she must be very beautiful if she was your wife.
“Please stand clear of platform 2, the 11.56 train to Ueno is approaching.”
I don’t really understand what I’m hoping to achieve today by inviting Ae-cha to visit.
I know that if you found out I was in touch with her, you would be furious with me.
The night you came to my house, after she had changed the locks, I remember what you told me.
But as long as you never find out about today, I think it will be alright. I’m doing this for a good reason.
I just want to understand you better so we won’t fight anymore, so I can learn what I am doing wrong. I want her to help me understand what’s going on inside your head.
He noticed his heart pounding in his chest as a crowd of people emerged from the train as it arrived at the platform; he was more than anxious.
He stared into the crowd, hoping to find that one person that just seemed to blur into every Japanese face leaving the train.
As the passengers started to walk away from the platform, for just a few moments You was certain she wasn’t there, that she must have missed the train, or that perhaps she had changed her mind about coming, until he heard her.
“Kurosaki-san.”
She really was as beautiful as he remembered. She stepped off the train, her slight figure struggling with the overnight bag she carried.
He walked the few steps towards her, unsure of what to say, or where to look, instantly helping her with her heavy bag.
“Ohayo gozaimasu.”
“It’s good to see you again,”
She finally met his eyes, her smile creating some strange kind of warmth in the cold air.
“How was your trip getting here?”
“It was fine; I’m just not so good in cold weather. I should have dressed a little more appropriately,” Ae-cha added half heartedly.
You suddenly noticed how much she was shivering.
“I’m sorry to make you travel out here, in all the snow-”
“It’s okay, You-san, it’s important.” She insisted, her smile changing into a sobering seriousness.
You nodded, realising he too was desperately cold.
“Do you want to come back to my hotel room? It’s a lot warmer there.”
~
Whilst he slept, I lit the apartment with candles. I know he loves candle light.
Today he was restless; he is still not used to the new circumstances.
It hurt to be victim to his anger, he refused to look at me, he rejected my every touch, he would only speak to me hatefully, but it’s going to be alright. I know I am being tested. I must persevere with my plan.
I remind myself constantly that time will change his feelings. He will learn of everything I have done for him, and over time he will learn to love me.
~
to be continued?
i wrote this whilst on holiday, im not entirely happy with it but ah well.
i hope you all like it?
Chapter: eleven
~
Please leave your message after the tone.
“Ae-cha, it’s me, again.
I hope everything’s still okay for tomorrow, I was just phoning to confirm, but I guess you’re not at home right now.
I’m guessing you heard about the weather, so please let me know if your train gets delayed or cancelled, although I’m sure it’ll be fine.
Oh, and I thought I’d let you know, I still can’t get in touch with Satoru.
You said I should call him, so I did earlier today, it must have been about 9am, and I couldn’t get through at all. I’ve been trying all day, but I’m pretty sure his cell is switched off, and the house phone seems to be disconnected, he must have unplugged it…
I probably should have got the hint, but I’m considering calling the studio, or even turning up at the apartment. I can’t say for certain what I’m going to do yet, either one of those will probably just make things worse.
Well anyway, I guess we can talk more tomorrow.
Please let me know if you can’t make it.”
~
My head…
My head is hurting.
“Satoru,”
Hands on me. Her hands on me.
“You can wake up now.”
I can’t bear to open my eyes.
“Satoru, open your eyes.”
I can feel her clammy hands on my skin.
“Don’t touch me…”
Why do you continue to do so?
“Please open your eyes; I want to look at them.”
It hurts, but I manage to open them, and I instantly regret it.
“Stop it-”
Her hands on my face, holding me still, her face so close to mine, staring at me, inspecting me, studying me…
“The bruising seems to have gone down.”
And then I suddenly remember everything.
“You-”
“I’m here.”
“Where is You?”
“You? What are you talking about?”
“Where is You-san-”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,”
I cannot see perfectly, I am barely awake, I try to push you away, but I am restrained.
Why am I here, like this?
“Please, let me go,”
She strokes my hair comfortingly, only making my panicking worsen. I cannot stop her, I can barely hold my head up, and as she notices this she tilts my head gently back against the soft material of my arm chair.
“Are you still tired?”
She straddles me, one leg either side of my lap on the little space of the arm chair, staring into my eyes as if trying to read my thoughts.
My body instantly rejects her actions, except I can't do anything.
“You need to rest.”
The last time you used those words you hit me over the head.
“Why are you doing this…”
She does not answer me with words.
I feel her lips against my exposed neck, and I instantly shiver away from her. I try to fight against the restraints on my limbs, tying me tightly to my arm chair, the skin of my wrists being rubbed raw in friction.
She ignores my struggling at first, she does not even seem to notice it, even as my fear takes control over me, and I can’t help screaming for someone, anyone to help me, until she suddenly places her hands over my mouth to silence me.
“Please be quiet, or I will hurt you.”
~
You couldn’t help but wish he had worn a scarf, or at least a thicker coat. As he had left the apartment he had cursed himself all the way to the station, the snow continuing to fall around him only making the cold air even icier.
He stood on the platform, surprised but thankful that the trains were still running at all. The tracks were completely snowed under, as well as most of the buildings in the area.
I must be crazy to wait around outside in this weather, although I don’t really have a choice.
Pulling his coat around his thin figure a little tighter, he couldn’t help but struggle to remember Ae-cha’s face. He realised this was going to be a problem when her train arrived, when all he could remember was that ‘she had lovely hair’.
At least, I’m sure she must be very beautiful if she was your wife.
“Please stand clear of platform 2, the 11.56 train to Ueno is approaching.”
I don’t really understand what I’m hoping to achieve today by inviting Ae-cha to visit.
I know that if you found out I was in touch with her, you would be furious with me.
The night you came to my house, after she had changed the locks, I remember what you told me.
But as long as you never find out about today, I think it will be alright. I’m doing this for a good reason.
I just want to understand you better so we won’t fight anymore, so I can learn what I am doing wrong. I want her to help me understand what’s going on inside your head.
He noticed his heart pounding in his chest as a crowd of people emerged from the train as it arrived at the platform; he was more than anxious.
He stared into the crowd, hoping to find that one person that just seemed to blur into every Japanese face leaving the train.
As the passengers started to walk away from the platform, for just a few moments You was certain she wasn’t there, that she must have missed the train, or that perhaps she had changed her mind about coming, until he heard her.
“Kurosaki-san.”
She really was as beautiful as he remembered. She stepped off the train, her slight figure struggling with the overnight bag she carried.
He walked the few steps towards her, unsure of what to say, or where to look, instantly helping her with her heavy bag.
“Ohayo gozaimasu.”
“It’s good to see you again,”
She finally met his eyes, her smile creating some strange kind of warmth in the cold air.
“How was your trip getting here?”
“It was fine; I’m just not so good in cold weather. I should have dressed a little more appropriately,” Ae-cha added half heartedly.
You suddenly noticed how much she was shivering.
“I’m sorry to make you travel out here, in all the snow-”
“It’s okay, You-san, it’s important.” She insisted, her smile changing into a sobering seriousness.
You nodded, realising he too was desperately cold.
“Do you want to come back to my hotel room? It’s a lot warmer there.”
~
Whilst he slept, I lit the apartment with candles. I know he loves candle light.
Today he was restless; he is still not used to the new circumstances.
It hurt to be victim to his anger, he refused to look at me, he rejected my every touch, he would only speak to me hatefully, but it’s going to be alright. I know I am being tested. I must persevere with my plan.
I remind myself constantly that time will change his feelings. He will learn of everything I have done for him, and over time he will learn to love me.
~
to be continued?
i wrote this whilst on holiday, im not entirely happy with it but ah well.
i hope you all like it?