New: To Let My Heart Be Heaved by Exultant Motion (SPN RPS AU-J2) 2/6
Author: Rini myficjournal and Saklani saklani2
Artist: Angstpuppy angstpuppy
Title: To Let My Heart Be Heaved By Exultant Movement
Pairings: Jensen/Jared, Jensen/OMC, Jensen/Jeffrey Morgan (past)
Series: AU SPN RPS
Rating: NC-17
Beta: Ana
Word Count: 53,000
Warning: Character death (not main)
Summary: Orphan Jared Padalecki gets a position as the groundskeeper of the great Thornhill Hall. His first meeting with the owner, Jensen Ackles, is not auspicious. And what lurks in the tower, screaming and sobbing at night?
Disclaimer: We own nothing. We mean no harm. We make no money. Thank you.
Author's Notes: This is based on the book “Jane Eyre” by Charlotte Bronte with a few added twists and turns.
Jared stared up at the bright moon, loving how the fog had cleared away to allow a perfect view of the area in the soft light. He turned in each direction, admiring first the countryside, the grounds and finally Thornhill in all her beauty.
A strange flicker from one of the high towers caught Jared’s attention, and he narrowed his eyes, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. From the small window at the very top, he could see firelight and forms moving around. He frowned, remembering the heavy, locked door that led to the tower and the way nobody in the house mentioned or even looked at that door. Or what hid behind it.
A howl tore through the still night, and Jared jerked back, startled at the sound. His ears strained in the silence that followed, until he detected the faintest sounds. From the top of that tower, alone in the night, came the sounds of someone crying.
~~~~~~~~~~
A few peaceful days and nights later, Jared worked in the front garden, removing weeds that had choked out the original plants. The sun had unexpectedly emerged from the fog earlier in the morning, eventually heating Jared sufficiently to cause him to remove his shirt. Covered in dirt and sweat, but hidden away from the womenfolk (who would all be at work in the back of the manor), he knelt amongst the beds and tore up the German ivy that had spread everywhere.
Jensen strolled slowly from his office to the front door of the manor. He opened the door and stepped out into the warmth of the spring day with a rare smile. The sun blinded him for a moment when he climbed down off the porch. He headed down the walkway to check out Jared’s work.
Jared hummed tunelessly to himself and tossed the ivy on to the muslin tarp needed to cart it away and prevent it from resprouting. He frowned at the little tendrils of plant left everywhere, knowing they would sprout if he left them. "Nasty thing," he scolded, "why does everyone love to plant you?"
"I see you’re speaking to yourself," Jensen said with a grin, rounding the house in time to hear Jared talking to the plants.
Jared gasped and stood, hands full of ivy and body streaked with dirt. "Master Ackles, Sir, I did not hear you coming. How are you?"
"I’m fine, since it is a gorgeous day," Jensen said, looking Jared over from head to toe with a glance. He acted as though he were pouring over the changes in the front garden. "Do you always talk to plants?"
"Uh, yes, Sir," Jared said. "And birds, when they come close enough. Sometimes to insects, Sir." He flushed and ducked his head away from Mr. Ackles' curious stare.
Jensen chuckled and shook his head. "That does not surprise me," he admitted, turning to look at Jared once again. It was difficult not to stare at the half-naked, muscled and slightly tanned figure in front of him. "Show me what you've done?"
"Well, Sir, I’m nearly done clearing the weeds from the front gardens. I received from the most recent stage the annuals I ordered. I intend to start planting them in the next few days. They should be done before your guests arrive." Jared pointed down the front path. "All the trees have been pruned and shall soon burst into leaf. Their buds are full swollen and ready."
Glancing where Jared pointed, Jensen paid a moderate amount of attention to the details, but concentrated far more on the way Jared looked and moved. He'd been alone for more than a month and often found himself gazing at and wondering about Jared.
Jared looked back at Mr. Ackles with a tentative smile. "Do you like them, Sir?" he asked. "I think them mighty trees, well befitting Thornhill."
"They are that," Jensen said with a smile, still limping slightly as he walked around the edge of the garden plot. "Can you describe what you've ordered for this section?" he asked, looking back at Jared again.
"Yes, Sir, of course. I envisioned a mixture of purple ageratum, pink London Pride, some orange and red daisies, white bindweed and finally, some Night-scented stock, which is a light purple. I planned to blend the colors, Sir," Jared said. He stretched his arms and chest with a sigh.
Jensen eyed Jared's chest, raking over his body and watching the muscles ripple. He only half heard what Jared said, many of the plant names not familiar to him. "Sounds well thought out," he said, voice low and rough.
Jared smiled at Mr. Ackles and said, "Thank you, Sir. I want Thornhill to accurately represent her master."
Arching an eyebrow, Jensen smirked. "And is that how you see me?" he asked, voice still ragged.
Jared blinked and tilted his head to gaze at Mr. Ackles with slightly puzzled eyes. "Yes, Sir, from our few interactions and Mrs. Ferris' good words."
Jensen nodded, smiling slightly and then forcing himself to look at the flowers. "What you've done looks good. How are the temporary repairs holding up on your cottage?"
"I fear the roof needs a more permanent fix now, Sir," Jared said. "My own fix is already starting to wear through." He wiped sweat off his forehead.
Swallowing at the sight of Jared smearing dirt across his forehead, Jensen turned slightly and did his best to adjust himself in his trousers without being obvious. He couldn't tell whether Jared was taunting him, but was finding his groundskeeper to be eminently more attractive than was good for him. "Would you prefer a room in the house until we can hire someone to do the repairs?"
Jared thought of the cries and strange light in the tower and then of his own little cottage. "That is kind, but unnecessary, Sir. I do like having a place of my own. If I may ask, is your ankle better, Sir?"
"It is healing, thank you," Jensen said, eyeing Jared closely again. He hobbled in Jared's direction and then turned to look at the house. "The colors will enhance the place."
Jared turned and looked over all of Thornhill. "Your home is beautiful, Sir. Especially today in the sun. I am proud to be a servant of this household, Sir."
Jensen smiled at the compliment. "Thank you, Jared. You are an asset, as Sam assured me you would be. Your hard work is appreciated."
Jared lowered his eyes at the compliment and murmured, "I want nothing more than to please you, Sir."
Shuddering at the lowered gaze and soft words, Jensen closed his eyes and shook out a breath. "Don't say that unless you mean it, Jared," he whispered.
"Why wouldn't I mean that, Sir?" Jared asked, confused. "You have been very kind to me. You have given me a home."
"You have no idea what you‘re saying, do you?" Jensen growled low, shaking his head and trying to pull his mind away from all the things he wanted to do to Jared.
"I- I'm sorry, Sir," Jared said. "Have I said something wrong, Sir?"
Jensen shook his head, took a deep breath and then turned away. "No, you’re far too innocent," he said gruffly. He hobbled back to the house as quickly as possible, away from the temptation of Jared's half-naked body and the words he said without understanding.
Jared stared after Jensen, shocked and unsure what to do. Finally, he knelt and began to pull weeds again.
~~~~~~~~~~
Jared never knew what woke him. There were no strange cries in the night, nothing to bring him out of the deep sleep he had been enjoying. But something did, and when he rose to get some water and looked out his window, he saw smoke and firelight in Mr. Ackles' room. Without pause for thought, he plunged outside, wearing only his thin nightclothes, raced to the house, went in through the servant's entrance and tore up the stairs. "Mr. Ackles! Mr. Ackles!" he cried, banging on the door twice before throwing it open. He saw the bedclothes on fire and rushed to pull them down.
Jensen rolled over in his bed at the sound of Jared calling him. Confusion flooded his brain, for there was no reason that Jared should or would be in his bedroom, especially not in the middle of the night. He made a soft noise and tossed off the blankets when he registered the immense heat sweeping over him.
Seeing Mr. Ackles' sleepy confusion, Jared wrapped an arm around his waist and lifted him to safety. Setting him gently in a chair, he returned to ripping down the bedcurtains and stamping out the fire. "Are you all right, Sir?"
The sudden rush of being moved from his bed to his couch left Jensen dizzy and still only half-conscious. "I'm fine," he mumbled, slumping in the chair and resting his head back on the cushions. "What're you doin'?"
"Sir, your bed is on fire!" Jared cried and kept pounding and rolling the curtains on the floor to put out the flames.
"Fire?" Jensen asked, brain slowly coming online and quickly moving to panic. He jumped out of the chair and immediately started to help Jared stamp out the fire, wobbling all the while, since he was more than a little intoxicated from a drinking binge before bed.
"Sir," Jared said, noticing his staggering, "I can put out the fire. Please, sit down. All will be well in a moment, Sir, if you are unharmed."
Jensen mumbled something and dropped what he was doing to collapse sideways on his couch. He watched Jared through slitted eyes and marveled at the blackened material pooling around the bed.
"Do you know what happened, Sir?" Jared asked. He tore down the remains of the last set of curtains and looked at them mournfully. "You could have been killed."
"No idea," Jensen moaned, dropping an arm over his head and trying to look at Jared. "Was sleeping peacefully until you manhandled me to the chair."
"I was trying to save your life, Sir," Jared said. "If I overstepped my place..." He stood on the smoldering remains of Jensen's bedcurtains and looked at him with hurt eyes.
Jensen snorted and shook his head. "I like manhandling," he slurred softly, head still arched back to stare at Jared. In his nightclothes. In Jensen's bedroom. Jensen felt himself grow hard, moaned low in response and licked his lips.
Unsure, Jared approached Mr. Ackles, hands stretched forward. "Sir, shall I alert someone to what has happened? Get your bed changed?"
Reaching out, Jensen snagged Jared's hands in his own. He smiled up at Jared and played with the long, slender digits. "How did you know I was in danger?" he asked, eyes wide behind his long lashes.
"I- I don't know, Sir. I woke and got up for a drink. Looking out my window, I saw the smoke and flame." Jared tightened his fingers around Jensen's hands. "You could have been killed, Sir."
"I should have been," Jensen said, "if it weren't for you." He looked up at Jared, stroking his thumbs over the back of Jared's hands with a hitch in his breath.
Jared swallowed hard and smiled weakly. "I am happy to be of service, Sir. Would you like to go back to bed? Perhaps in another room, Sir."
Jensen smiled sloppily, tugging Jared closer and pressing his cheek against Jared's fingers. "You would take me to bed?"
"Whichever one you want, Sir," Jared said, breathing out a little gasp as Jensen got closer. "Just tell me where to take you, please."
"What if I want you to take me right here?" Jensen asked, tugging Jared even closer. He stared at Jared's lips, licking his own.
Jared did not understand Jensen’s words or actions, but desired to please him. "But your bed is ruined, Sir. Shall I not take you to another room?"
Jensen chuckled roughly, staring into Jared's eyes. He pulled Jared even closer, aching to brush their lips together.
Jared's hands found purchase on Jensen's waist, as he was tugged nearly against the man. ""Are you all right, Sir?" he asked, completely at a loss.
"You have no idea how appealing you are, do you, Jared?" Jensen asked, body aflame where Jared touched him.
"Appealing, Sir?" Jared asked. "I- I don't understand, Sir." He felt strange, blood thrumming in his veins at Jensen's nearness and actions.
Jensen opened his eyes and whimpered. He yanked Jared down, bringing their lips together and moaning into the innocent, dry contact.
Jared froze, Jensen's mouth gentle on his own. He had not been kissed since his uncle died, so the touch confused, moved and exhilarated him. He did not know what to do with his lips, so he tried to emulate Jensen.
Moaning, Jensen tilted his head and released one of Jared's hands to reach out and cup Jared's cheek. He brushed their lips together, back and forth, his own parted slightly.
Jared continued to mimic Jensen's touches, not knowing what else to do. He moaned softly and then pulled back. "What- what are you doing, Sir?"
"Kissing you," Jensen said. "I want you so much, Jay...you have no idea." He stroked a thumb over Jared's cheek and then slid a hand into Jared's hair to tangle his fingers in the strands.
"No, I don't understand, Sir," Jared agreed. "What do you want with me?"
Jensen chuckled low. "I want you in my bed…with me, under me."
"In bed with you, Sir?" Jared asked. "Are you afraid something will happen again?"
"Oh, I hope something would happen." Jensen moaned and nibbled at Jared's lower lip before flicking his tongue at the seam.
Jared squirmed a little and clung harder to Jensen. "Please, Sir, I don't know what to do.”
"Just open your mouth a little. Let me taste you," Jensen moaned, flicking his tongue against Jared's lips again.
Not wanting to disobey, Jared opened his mouth for Jensen. His hand clenched and unclenched on Jensen's hips, before they moved to his back. "Is this all right, Sir?"
Jensen nodded, moaned again and then pulled back, dizzy from the taste of Jared's lips. "I’ve wanted to do that since I saw you."
"Why?" Jared asked, too dazed to remember to say sir. "What makes you want to- to kiss me?"
"You're gorgeous, Jared," Jensen said, stroking his fingers over Jared's face. "You have no idea just how beautiful."
Jared colored and ducked his head against Jensen's shoulder. "I am, Sir? Thank you. You are most handsome yourself, Sir."
Having been disturbed from her rest by the commotion, Samantha called Jensen’s name as she walked hurriedly through the door. She saw the bed curtains on the floor and rushed further inside, gasping when she saw Jared and Jensen locked in an embrace. "Jensen!"
Jensen groaned, closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to Jared's for a second. He then pushed the young man away and slumped back against the couch. "Sam."
Jared stumbled back and then turned toward Mrs. Ferris, panic in his visage and voice. "I- I came here because I saw flame and smoke, Mrs. Ferris. I'll just take these ruined curtains downstairs and then go back to my cottage."
"Thank you, Jared," Samantha said, reaching out and taking his hand. "Can you tell me what you saw before you leave?"
Relieved that she did not seem angry with him, Jared said, "I saw smoke and flame in Mr. Ackles' window, ma'am. When I got here, the bed curtains were aflame. Oh, and there was a candlestick lying in the middle of the hall. I left it there in my haste to get here, ma'am."
Samantha nodded as though she'd expected such things. She sighed and looked at Jensen, who lay sprawled on the couch. "Please help me move Mr. Ackles to another room before you go."
"Of course, ma'am," Jared said and moved back to Jensen's side. "Sir, may I help you to a new room?"
"Yes," Jensen said softly, eyes heated. "Want you to stay with me."
"Jensen!" Samantha said sharply. "You allow Jared to assist you to another room where you can sleep off the alcohol you've consumed." She moved to the couch and stared him down. "Jared, please help Mr. Ackles to the next room on the right."
Jared flinched at the anger in Mrs. Ferris' tone, surprised that it was aimed at Mr. Ackles. Toning his voice even softer, he said, "Would you like to take my arm, Sir?"
Jensen grumbled, shot Samantha a glare and reached out to grab onto Jared's arm. He let Jared do most of the work of getting him upright, slumping against Jared's body with a little sigh.
Jared swallowed hard and said, "I'm going to move now, Sir. Please take care of your ankle." He leaned to let Jensen's weight rest on him and half-carried him across the room.
Jensen made sure to favor his ankle and move with Jared to reduce the risk of injury. He hated himself a little for succumbing to the bottle and for taking advantage of Jared and his innocent desire to please.
"Is this all right, Sir?" Jared asked. "I don't want to hurt you."
"Yes, thank you," Jensen said quietly, allowing Jared to guide him the short way down the hall to the next bedroom. He began to feel dizzy, slightly woozy from the alcohol still flooding his system.
Jared lurched a little as Jensen wobbled and asked, "Should I heft you, Sir?"
Jensen sighed and nodded, leaning against Jared even more.
Jared lifted Jensen carefully into his arms and hugged him to his chest. "Here we go, Sir. Is this all right?" He headed for the door to the new bedroom and pushed it open.
"Yes, though I wish it were for entirely different reasons," Jensen said, unable to help himself.
"Jensen Ross Ackles, you cease such talk," Samantha said, bustling into the room behind them and moving to pull down the bed so that Jared could help Jensen into it.
Jared offered Jensen a timid smile and said, "Here we are, Sir. A nice warm bed for you." He gently settled Jensen on the mattress. "Sleep well, Sir."
Jensen smiled softly, wriggling himself into the covers and reaching out to catch Jared's wrist. "Sleep better with you," he said, before letting go and closing his eyes.
Samantha sighed and ushered Jared out into the hallway. She smiled gently at him. "Don't mind Mr Ackles’ ways. Thank you for coming to help him."
Jared aimed a wobbly smile at Mrs. Ferris and asked in a soft tone, "Is he in danger, ma'am?"
"Not with us to watch over him," Samantha said. "Thank you again, Jared. Don't worry about the curtains tonight. Please get some sleep."
Jared glanced at Jensen and then back at Mrs. Ferris. "Goodnight, Mrs. Ferris. I am sorry for disturbing you."
"Good night, Jared. Sleep well and get a later start tomorrow," Samantha said, smiling kindly and ushering him to the back stairs.
~~~~~~~~~~
Jensen woke with a hangover, head pounding and mouth dry. He stretched in the bed, moaned piteously and sank back into the pillow. When he forced his eyes open, he blinked and stared at the unfamiliar surroundings as the night, and his actions, came screeching back to him. He rubbed his fists over his eyes and sighed at the fool he'd made of himself over Jared. His groundskeeper. He mentally berated himself for his behavior.
Jared carried a full breakfast tray up the back stairs to Mr. Ackles' room. His heart filled his mouth as he thought of the previous night. He had not slept well after and rose with the dawn to work. For his visit to see Mr. Ackles, he'd cleaned himself up and put on his best shirt and pants, the least ragged of his three pairs. Knocking on the door, he called, "Good morning, Sir. I have your breakfast. Mrs. Ferris asked me to bring it up to you, Sir."
Groaning, Jensen called out a gruff, “Come in” and burrowed further under the covers. Jared was the last person he wanted to see. He peeked slightly over the top of them when Jared walked into the room.
"Good morning again, Sir," Jared said. "I hope I find you well today. Mrs. Ferris said the drink would ensure you do and to drink it right up, Sir." He set the tray carefully on the table by Jensen's bed. "Shall I open the curtains, Sir? Tis a lovely day outside."
"God," Jensen moaned, lifting his head enough to see the food and drink before dropping it again. "No, just leave it dark. Fuck, my head hurts."
"The drink will help, Sir," Jared said. "Mrs. Ferris called it the hair of the dog that bit you, Sir." He picked up the goblet and offered it gently to Mr. Ackles, ignoring the swearing.
Jensen groaned and took the drink. He downed half of it and swore loudly before finishing it off. "I drank it, and you can tell Samantha so. Now, leave."
Jared frowned sympathetically at Jensen's swearing and then took the empty goblet. The curt dismissal hurt and confused him, but he swallowed the emotions. "Yes, Sir. "
Moaning again, Jensen buried himself under the covers and turned away from Jared. He couldn't bear to look at the innocent young man he'd started to molest the night before.
Jared paused at the door and said, "Mrs. Ferris wanted me to remind you that you promised to discuss plans for the house party with her today."
Jensen groaned again and stuck his head out of the covers slightly, growling at Jared, "Tell her I'll be down when I'm good and ready."
"I shall tell her so, Sir," Jared said with a hint of laughter in his tone. "Only I shall try not to anger her."
Grumbling again, Jensen buried himself under the covers and essentially hid from the one temptation he'd never expected at Thornhill.
~~~~~~~~~~
Jared knocked politely on the door of Mr. Ackles' private study, wondering what he might have been called for on an otherwise unremarkable evening. He carried his journal with all the details on the gardens and his plans. The preparations for the house party were near complete, with the extra servants Mrs. Ferris had procured bustling about. He had finished all the work he wanted to get done before the guests arrived and planned to use the remaining day to improve the area under Mr. Ackles' window.
"Enter," Jensen said, sitting at his desk and looking at the ledger in front of him. He rubbed a hand over his face and looked up when the door opened.
Jared walked in and smiled at Jensen. "Good afternoon, Sir. Are you well?"
"Ah, Jared, come have a seat," Jensen said, gesturing at the chair near him. "And yes, I'm well, thank you. Are you?"
Jared settled in the chair in front of Mr. Ackles' desk and said, "I finished all the arrangements in the garden for your party, Sir, so I am most well. I hope your guests like them."
Jensen beamed at Jared. "I'm not surprised, given your work ethic and efforts. You've done a wonderful job."
Jared blushed and ducked his head at Mr. Ackles, whom he had not really spoken to since their awkward conversation the morning after the fire. "Thank you, Sir. That means everything to me."
"I've been going over the accounts related to the grounds," Jensen said with a small smile.
Jared swallowed and lifted fearful eyes to Mr. Ackles. "Have I been too extravagant, Sir?"
Jensen laughed and shook his head. "No, in fact you've spent far less than I expected and have set aside."
"Oh." Jared bit his lower lip. "Too little, Sir?"
"Well, I had expected you to spend a good bit more, which means we can do even more with the grounds than you've already planned," Jensen said.
"Oh," Jared said, slightly breathless. "I could revise my plans, if you like. But it's not necessary, Sir, if you like what I've done."
"I do like what you've done, but we can look at everything once you are complete your plans and see if there's more we want to do. Including more around your own cottage," Jensen said and closed his ledger.
"Well, we could design and build a larger greenhouse than I initially planned, Sir. That way, you could keep more exotic plants. There are some from the tropics that would be completely unique to the county, Sir," Jared said.
Nodding, Jensen smiled at the thought. "I like that. Specialty plants. You know how to care for them?"
"There would be some learning involved, Sir," Jared said.
"Good, that's what we'll do then, once you've completed all your planned changes," Jensen said. "You said you play chess?"
"Yes, Sir, a little. I never had much time for games at Lowood, Sir, but I used to play with one of the teachers sometimes," Jared said.
Jensen grinned widely and stood up from the desk. He gestured to his chess table. "Play a game with me?"
"Really, Sir?" Jared asked, eyes huge. "You want me to play with you, Sir?"
"Yes, I want to see what you can do," Jensen said with a grin.
"All right, Sir," Jared said, flushed now with happiness. "I hope I make you at least a decent opponent, Sir."
Jensen chuckled again. "Of course you shall." He sat so that Jared would have the advantage of the first move.
Jared bit his lower lip and then moved his center right pawn forward two squares. "Are you an ardent player, Sir?"
"I'm a casual player," Jensen admitted, moving a matching pawn.
"That is probably best for me, Sir," Jared said, moving another pawn. "Do you mind talking across the board?"
Jensen matched Jared's move on the other half of the board. "Not at all. I don't get too serious about it."
Jared moved out his right knight and said, "You’ve been most kind to me, Sir. I wish to thank you. I love your Thornhill, Sir."
"I'm glad you’re settling in well," Jensen said. "Thornhill is a gorgeous place to live, and you belong here, from what I can see." He moved another pawn.
Jared considered his next move and said, "Everyone has been very good to me, Sir. Never before have I felt welcome anywhere. I was at Lowood for eleven years and made friends with some of the other orphans, but it was not a welcoming place. When I came of age, they were only too happy to push me out, Sir." He moved a piece with a little less thought, mind on his memories.
"I cannot begin to imagine what that must have been like, although I can sympathize with being an orphan," Jensen said, moving one of his own pieces.
"Yes, Sir. I did not want to be intrusive or overstep my place, so I did not ask about your family, Sir. You mentioned your sister's love for the rose gardens, so I plan to make them truly beautiful," Jared said, mind barely on the game as he made a counter move.
Jensen smiled sadly. "Thank you. She rarely visits now, but if she ever does, I'm sure she'll appreciate them."
"I used to wonder what it would have been like to have siblings," Jared said. "My cousin, my aunt and uncle's son, was the closest I ever had, but we never got along." Jared wished he could drive the sadness away from Mr. Ackles' expression.
"Mack and I used to get along well," Jensen said wistfully. "She's married now, has a place of her own and a couple of children. But I am not welcome."
"I am sorry to hear that, Sir," Jared said with deep sincerity. "I can imagine no reason, Sir, why you should not be welcome anywhere."
Jensen laughed roughly and shook his head. "You do not know me, Jared. Outside of Thornhill, I am considered quite undesirable."
Jared blinked a few times and then offered the softest smile. "If this is true, Sir, then we are alike in that. But you shall not persuade me to believe it."
"At least I am comfortable in my own home,” Jensen said and made his next move.
"I hope so, Sir. You must know everyone here is dedicated to you," Jared said, eyes down and smile shy. "And Mrs. Ferris would never hear a word against you, Sir."
Jensen snorted. "Ah, but she'll say plenty of them," he teased, nudging Jared's foot. "She had much to say the day after the fire."
Jared's eyes widened at the mention of the fire, and he said, "I had meant to ask you more of that, Sir, but you seemed to feel it best to forget the incident, so I tried to obey your wishes."
"It is probably best. Samantha seems to think that I abused you that night. I wish to apologize for anything I may have done that was inappropriate," Jensen said, avoiding Jared's eyes. "I was not in my right state of mind."
Jared thought over that night and said, "Sir, nothing you did could be construed as abuse, and I am not unfamiliar with the particulars of that word. I admit to confusion over your...kisses, but would never venture to complain of them. I had not been kissed in any fashion for so long." His cheeks reddened at the confession, although he knew Mr. Ackles already must have guessed as much.
Jensen smiled sadly. "Still I apologize for any inappropriate behavior."
"Was it- inappropriate, Sir?" Jared asked.
"I am in a position of authority over you," Jensen said. "Many would say that you would be afraid for your position if you said no." He shook his head. "Of course, if I were truly the 'undesirable' others think I am, then I wouldn't care, would I?"
Jared thought that through as he made another move and then said, "Perhaps I am merely too simple and ignorant of what is inappropriate, but I never felt threatened by you, Sir. And I believe you would not intentionally seek to harm me."
Jensen flushed slightly. "I would never intentionally harm you, but I do think that you are an innocent." He stared at the board, debating a few moves.
"I know nothing of love between people, Sir" Jared admitted without pause. "Lowood encouraged no such knowledge and indeed, punished even the hint of friendship between the genders and impropriety in general. And their definition of the word was broad. I know love exists, Sir, but doubt it shall be something I am ever invited to share."
"You feel nothing for Bessie or Caroline?" Jensen asked curiously. "I never even gave thought to your preferences for before I kissed you. Another misjudgment."
"No, Sir. They are both very nice and pleasing to look at, but I feel nothing more than friendship for them. I believe they both have beaus anyway, Sir," Jared said.
Jensen grinned. "Just because they have beaus does not mean you do not find them attractive. But if you are not interested in them, then that ends the possibilities there."
"Yes, Sir, I am not interested in them that way," Jared said, dimples blooming on each cheek. "Though they are fine women, I am sure."
"Do you find yourself more interested in Michael and William?" Jensen asked, remembering the sweet way that Jared had responded to his kisses, trembling in his arms.
"They are a bit rough for my liking, Sir," Jared confessed. "I am not yet used to their language and some of the things they say."
Jensen arched an eyebrow. "Really? I suppose it is not surprising.” He moved his next piece and sat back.
"They are not so innocent as I, Sir," Jared concluded with a slight shrug. He surveyed the board with a slight smile. "You are indeed a good chess player." He moved his knight again, threatening one of Master Ackles' pieces.
Countering the move, Jensen smiled at Jared. "I had plenty of time to play while at school, and my older brother was ever encouraging me to match wits."
"You have an older brother as well, Sir?" Jared asked.
"I did. There were three of us, but he perished with my parents in a carriage accident while Mack and I were both away at school," Jensen said, making another move on the board.
"I am so sorry, Je- Sir," Jared said, biting his lip hard at the slip.
Jensen took a shallow breath. "In here, when it's just us, I would like you to call me Jensen."
Jared flushed a dark red and then ducked his head to look at his feet. "I don't think I can, Sir," he said softly. "I wouldn't feel right. I am your servant, Sir."
"In here...couldn't you be my friend?" Jensen asked softly.
Jared raised big eyes to Jensen and swallowed hard. "If you are sure, I should like to be your friend...Jensen."
Jensen smiled broadly. "The more I know of you, Jared, the more I want you to be my friend."
"Then I shall be your friend, Jensen," Jared said. "Please forgive me if I slip sometimes."
"Of course," Jensen said with a wide grin. He sat back in his chair, relaxing more than he had before.
Jared smiled back and then moved his bishop. "If there is anything you would like to ask me, I shall try to answer."
"I shouldn't wish to pry," Jensen said, shaking his head and contemplating the board. "You've not wished to discuss yourself before."
"Well, if we are to be friends, then friends share," Jared said.
Jensen nodded solemnly, moving his rook. "Then share with me...tell me more about Jared."
"I'm eighteen, nearly nineteen, and lived eleven years at Lowood. My mother came from a family of some means, but my father was poor. They died when I was less than a year old. My uncle, my mother's brother, took me in. He was kind to me, but my aunt never cared for me. When my uncle died, she made me move to a room beneath the stairs," Jared said.
"And what of your father's family? Did they not want their grandson?" Jensen asked softly.
"I know nothing of my father's family," Jared said. "They never came to claim me."
Jensen nodded. “I’m sorry you had a tough life so young, but cannot say that I’m sorry you learned what you did and advertised for a position."
"They did teach us many subjects," Jared said. "And I'm grateful for my education. I know that I learned more than most poor children."
"I would imagine that you applied yourself and worked hard," Jensen said with a knowing grin.
"And I could go to school, which many poor children cannot," Jared said.
"That is true, but you have to look for ways to use that benefit," Jensen said. "I would wager that a number of the children did not."
"Many of the children were too sad or abused to," Jared agreed. "And we were always hungry."
Jensen nodded, though he had no idea what being hungry truly meant. "I’m glad you’re here."
"Jensen, may I ask- why do you spend so much time away from Thornhill?" Jared ventured cautiously.
"There are many bad memories for me here," Jensen said, lifting pained eyes to Jared. "It has often been hard to be here for long."
"I am sorry," Jared said softly. "Perhaps Thornhill should not be your home any longer?"
Jensen smiled became even sadder. "She is all that is left of my family. I could no more be rid of this land than cut my own arm off."
"Jensen, I shall try to make this place happier for you in every way I can," Jared pledged.
"You have done much already," Jensen admitted. "Seeing how much you care for this place is a balm."
"Is there more I might do?" Jared asked. "I should like to do whatever I can for you."
Jensen nodded. "Just be my friend. Give me a reason to smile."
"I can do that," Jared said. "At least, I can try."
"All we can do is try," Jensen said, eyeing Jared's mouth and licking his lips unconsciously.
Jared tilted his head and watched Jensen's tongue. "Try," he whispered
Jensen moaned softly. "I really want to kiss you again, Jared."
"You do?" Jared asked. "I- all right. What should I do?"
"Tell me that I can," Jensen whispered, hands gripping the arms of his chair.
"Yes, please," Jared said. "I want to kiss you again, Jensen."
Jensen pushed his chair back and stood, holding a hand out to Jared. "Come here, please."
With a deep breath, Jared stood and took Jensen's hand. He stepped into him and knelt, looking up at him. "Here?"
"On your feet," Jensen whispered and pulled Jared up. "Right here with me."
Jared stood and looked down at Jensen with a tentative smile. "Like this, Jensen?"
Jensen nodded and reached up to cup Jared's face in his hands. "Yes, right like this," he whispered, before pulling Jared in and brushing a feather-light kiss over Jared's lips.
Jared moaned and pressed more firmly against Jensen's mouth, needing more than the teasing touch. "Please," he murmured. "Jensen."
"Christ, Jared," Jensen moaned into his mouth, before nibbling at his lower lip and encouraging Jared to open to him.
Jared gasped and instinctively parted his lips. He put his hands on Jensen's waist and tightened his fingers. Moaning, he pressed closer and nearly knocked them both over.
Jensen chuckled and wrapped his arms around Jared, spreading his legs slightly for better balance. He delved back into Jared's mouth.
Jared pulled back with a gasp and panted lightly, resting his forehead against Jensen's. "That was so good, Jensen. Should that be so good?"
"Oh yes, Jay," Jensen said almost breathless. "It should be even better than that."
"Oh." Jared paused and asked in a trembling voice, "Was I doing it wrong?"
Jensen shook his head. "No, I meant that there is so much more. You're doing it so very right, Jay," he said before taking his mouth in an even more heated kiss.
The passion threatened to overwhelm the inexperienced Jared, and he held on tight and tried to answer Jensen. His mouth opened willingly to Jensen's tongue, which he accidentally scraped with his teeth.
Shivering, Jensen pulled back. He panted softly, eyes closed as he soaked up Jared's nearness. "God, Jay, you’re so intoxicating."
"Intoxicating?" Jared asked, leaning his head against Jensen's right shoulder.
"I could lose myself in you," Jensen whispered, kissing Jared's temple and pulling him easily into his arms.
Jared snuggled into Jensen and luxuriated in the unfamiliar sensation of being held. He pressed his face into Jensen's neck and breathed in the older man's musk. "I could find myself."
Jensen moaned, responding immediately to the sensation of Jared against his body. Pressing another kiss to Jared's head, he closed his eyes and wondered what he was doing.
Jared pulled back enough to look into Jensen's eyes and offered his warmest smile. "You said there was more?"
Chuckling, Jensen nodded. "Yes, but I don't think we're ready for more yet, Jared."
"Oh. All right." Jared stroked his hands over Jensen nervously. "Will you tell me what that means?"
"The more I speak of includes touching, kissing other parts of the body and the intimacies that go on behind closed doors in the bedroom," Jensen said.
Jared blinked a few times and said, "I hope I can learn more about those things with you."
Jensen groaned, pulling Jared into a deep and heated kiss in response to his innocent remark.
Jared felt hot all over, blood heating in his veins. His normally comfortable clothes felt tight and restricting. He gripped Jensen's shirt in both fists and used the leverage to respond to his kiss. He sucked on his tongue and lower lip, moaning.
Shivering at Jared's instinctive responses, Jensen pulled him closer and opened his mouth, so that Jared could invade and investigate all he wanted.
Feeling Jensen's invitation, Jared tried exploring with his tongue. He loved the feel and taste of Jensen, which seemed the only things in the world.
Jensen responded to Jared's kisses, urging him to explore and taste all he wanted. His hands curled in the fabric of Jared's clothing, gripping him slightly through the material and holding him close.
Jared sighed and snuggled closer, releasing Jensen's mouth only when he needed breath. "Are you well?"
"I am," Jensen said with a smile, reaching up and brushing a finger over Jared's cheek. "I think we should call it a night, Jared." He paused, blushing slightly. "We need to take this slow."
"What does that mean, slow?" Jared asked. "I have never done this before."
Jensen chuckled. "I know, and that is why we must take things carefully." He kissed Jared sweetly, keeping himself from simply taking what he wanted.
"But what does that mean?" Jared asked, refusing to be deterred by Jensen's kiss.
"It means there are plenty more things I want to show you, teach you, but not tonight. Tonight is a few more kisses and then bed," Jensen said. He hastily corrected himself. "I mean separately."
"My cottage will seem cold and lonely," Jared said with complete innocence.
Jensen groaned and pressed their foreheads together. "As will my bed, but it is a necessity, Jay."
"All right," Jared said and nuzzled Jensen's nose, still smiling. "I want to learn everything."
"All in good time," Jensen said, followed by a brief kiss. He adjusted his trousers to relieve some of the pressure and chuckled. "I think it’s time I bid you goodnight."
Jared looked toward their chess game. "Shall we leave the game?"
"We can resume the game another night," Jensen said with a smile.
"Thank you, Jensen, for asking me to spend the evening with you. It was an unexpected surprise in so many ways." Jared pressed another kiss to Jensen's mouth.
"It certainly was," Jensen agreed, cupping Jared's cheek in his hand and brushing their lips together. "Sleep well tonight."
"Goodnight, Jensen," Jared said. "I shall be up early and at work on your gardens. Your guests will be here in two days?"
Jensen nodded. "That they will. Your hard work is noted and appreciated, Jared."
"Thank you, Jensen," Jared said. He headed for the door and then glanced over his shoulder to offer a small smile. "I shall dream of you."
Watching Jared walk away was the hardest thing Jensen had done in a long time. When the door closed, he collapsed into the nearest chair and dropped his head into his hands. His mind swirled with the potential possibilities and pitfalls of kissing Jared, not to mention everything else he wanted to do to and with him. "What am I doing?" he whispered, confusion and not a little despair in his voice.
~~~~~~~~~~
Jensen moaned, fingers tangling in Edward's hair, as he slowly kissed and licked his way down Jensen's chest toward his stomach. He arched, craving the touch of a lover, the drugging desire that came with losing yourself in someone's touch.
"I've missed you," Edward whispered into his chest, before biting down on a nipple. "You are my favorite lover."
Chuckling, Jensen reached out and tweaked one of Edward's nipples in response. "I love that I can always count on you being amazing in bed."
Edward chuckled and bit down on the flesh of Jensen's abdomen. "You're worth my best efforts," he said with a smirk.
"Good to know," Jensen teased right back. "I'd hate to think it was just routine for you." He tugged on Edward's longish hair and flashed to the thought of Jared in that position. Pushing the idea away, Jensen focused on Edward with a grin.
Edward snorted and licked a stripe up Jensen's erection. "I’ll show you routine." He took Jensen’s cock in his mouth and began an enthusiastic sucking job.
Moaning, Jensen dropped his hands to the sheets and tugged hard. He arched his back, pressed his hips up and tried his best to feel something for the man who was so expertly sucking his cock. He closed his eyes, screwed them tightly shut and was bombarded with images and thoughts of Jared sucking him instead.
Edward took in all of Jensen with practiced ease, letting him hit the back of his throat without the slightest hint of difficulty. He massaged Jensen's balls in one hand, before tugging them once, hard. Pulling off with a wicked grin, he purred, "Will my magnificent stallion mount me tonight?"
"Fuck yes, Edward. Want to fuck you tonight," Jensen said, still attempting to banish Jared from his mind.
Edward nipped at Jensen's thighs and then rolled on his stomach. "Like this? Or do you prefer me on my knees?"
Jensen moaned, forcing himself to exist in the here and now. He rolled on his side and stroked a hand down Edward's back, rubbing over his ass slowly. "Want you on your knees, head on your arms. You're going to need to brace yourself."
"Oh, yes," Edward moaned and got into position. "You are in a good mood. Want you to pound me until I cannot feel my legs."
"You can count on it," Jensen said with a grin, pushing up and moving to get the oil out of his cabinet. He tossed it on the bed and then crawled back on the mattress, making Edward spread his thighs and settling himself between them.
"And who will you think of when you take me?" Edward asked, grinning over his shoulder.
Jensen snorted. "I'll be thinking of nothing but your tight, fine ass," he said, even if it were not the truth.
Edward laughed softly and shook his head. "I wish that I could believe that, Jensen. Except you know that I'll be thinking of Richard."
“I really don't mind," Jensen said with a grin. He opened the bottle of oil and liberally coated his fingers before sliding them between the crease of Edward's ass. Holding it open, he poured more oil over the hole and worked it in.
"More," Edward demanded, pressing back hard against his fingers. "Be rough, Jensen. "
Jensen took Edward at his word, knowing he meant it and could take it. He thrust two fingers in, twisting, turning and stretching Edward open, before slicking more oil on them and pressing three in. Curving them, he stroked over Edward's prostate and grinned at his drawn out moan.
"Do not tarry longer," Edward demanded on a low groan. "I wish your cock. Thrust in me."
"Pushy," Jensen said, pulling his fingers out and slicking himself up, before pushing his cock into Edward, fast and forceful.
Edward pressed back just as hard and groaned in ecstasy. "You like my pushiness," he said.
Jensen chuckled and stroked a hand down Edward's back. "That I do," he said, pulling back and thrusting in.
Edward grunted as Jensen hit his prostate. He always enjoyed his couplings with Jensen and fell into an easy rhythm. "Harder, Jensen. More."
Shaking his head and laughing again, Jensen spread his knees slightly for balance, gripped Edward's hips and began a punishing rhythm, slamming into Edward's body over and over again. He closed his eyes and imagined hazel ones flooded with desire and floppy hair moving while he pounded into Jared's body.
Edward responded with equal fervor to Jensen's thrusts, making as much noise as he could. He loved being free to express his desire and enjoyment. There were few enough places where he could do so.
"Fuck, always so eager, Edward," Jensen moaned, not finding the same pleasure he usually did in the man's sounds.
"Yes," Edward cried and spread his legs wider for Jensen. "Please, give me everything."
Jensen leaned over, one hand on the bed and the other hand on one of Edward’s shoulders so that he could thrust repeatedly.
The hard fucking made Edward shake all over, and he reached between his legs to stroke his cock, desperate for release. He went face first into the pillows, one arm proving insufficient to support him.
"Fuck, Edward, you want this, don't you? Someone to fuck you hard and fast as long as you can take it," Jensen grunted, loving every minute of the encounter, even if his mind wasn't into it.
"Yes! Yes, Jensen! I want everything you can give me," Edward managed to pant and grunt out. His hand sped up, milking himself to orgasm.
Jensen groaned, bit his lower lip and threw his head back while increasing his thrusts slightly. He could feel his orgasm building, ready to tear its way through his body, but held back, doing his best to make Edward come before he did.
Edward bit down on his tongue as he came, never wanting to call out the wrong name. He spurted over his fingers and the bed below, gasping out his release.
Feeling Edward clamp down around him, Jensen shouted out his release. He went rigid, hips thrust as far forward and cock as deep as possible inside Edward's body. His body jerked through a long, wet orgasm, before finally calming. "Fuck," he moaned, collapsing to the side as he pulled himself out.
Edward collapsed into the mattress and panted contentedly into the sheets. "Damn. That was better than ever, Jensen. You had some pent up lust."
Jensen screwed his eyes shut and ran a hand over his chest. "Pent up lust is right," he said, not confirming that it was for Edward, especially since he couldn't get Jared out of his mind.
Edward rolled over and stretched out his muscles with a long sigh. "You wear me out in the best way, Jensen." He sighed and rolled out of the bed.
"Glad to hear it. You do the same for me," Jensen said, rolling over, but being careful in the vicinity of the wet spot.
"Tomorrow, you can visit my bed. It's only fair to share the mess," Edward said, pulling on his underclothes.
Jensen snorted and said, "It's still my bed, but we'll do that." He cracked an eye open, relieved to see Edward heading back to his room. "See you in the morning for breakfast."
Edward tugged on his pants and shirt, before leaning in for a last kiss. "You won't have to sleep in it, though. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow."
Returning the kiss, Jensen dropped back to the bed and watched Edward finish dressing, eyes drooping and mind already sliding back to Jared.
~~~~~~~~~~
Artist: Angstpuppy angstpuppy
Title: To Let My Heart Be Heaved By Exultant Movement
Pairings: Jensen/Jared, Jensen/OMC, Jensen/Jeffrey Morgan (past)
Series: AU SPN RPS
Rating: NC-17
Beta: Ana
Word Count: 53,000
Warning: Character death (not main)
Summary: Orphan Jared Padalecki gets a position as the groundskeeper of the great Thornhill Hall. His first meeting with the owner, Jensen Ackles, is not auspicious. And what lurks in the tower, screaming and sobbing at night?
Disclaimer: We own nothing. We mean no harm. We make no money. Thank you.
Author's Notes: This is based on the book “Jane Eyre” by Charlotte Bronte with a few added twists and turns.
Jared stared up at the bright moon, loving how the fog had cleared away to allow a perfect view of the area in the soft light. He turned in each direction, admiring first the countryside, the grounds and finally Thornhill in all her beauty.
A strange flicker from one of the high towers caught Jared’s attention, and he narrowed his eyes, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. From the small window at the very top, he could see firelight and forms moving around. He frowned, remembering the heavy, locked door that led to the tower and the way nobody in the house mentioned or even looked at that door. Or what hid behind it.
A howl tore through the still night, and Jared jerked back, startled at the sound. His ears strained in the silence that followed, until he detected the faintest sounds. From the top of that tower, alone in the night, came the sounds of someone crying.
~~~~~~~~~~
A few peaceful days and nights later, Jared worked in the front garden, removing weeds that had choked out the original plants. The sun had unexpectedly emerged from the fog earlier in the morning, eventually heating Jared sufficiently to cause him to remove his shirt. Covered in dirt and sweat, but hidden away from the womenfolk (who would all be at work in the back of the manor), he knelt amongst the beds and tore up the German ivy that had spread everywhere.
Jensen strolled slowly from his office to the front door of the manor. He opened the door and stepped out into the warmth of the spring day with a rare smile. The sun blinded him for a moment when he climbed down off the porch. He headed down the walkway to check out Jared’s work.
Jared hummed tunelessly to himself and tossed the ivy on to the muslin tarp needed to cart it away and prevent it from resprouting. He frowned at the little tendrils of plant left everywhere, knowing they would sprout if he left them. "Nasty thing," he scolded, "why does everyone love to plant you?"
"I see you’re speaking to yourself," Jensen said with a grin, rounding the house in time to hear Jared talking to the plants.
Jared gasped and stood, hands full of ivy and body streaked with dirt. "Master Ackles, Sir, I did not hear you coming. How are you?"
"I’m fine, since it is a gorgeous day," Jensen said, looking Jared over from head to toe with a glance. He acted as though he were pouring over the changes in the front garden. "Do you always talk to plants?"
"Uh, yes, Sir," Jared said. "And birds, when they come close enough. Sometimes to insects, Sir." He flushed and ducked his head away from Mr. Ackles' curious stare.
Jensen chuckled and shook his head. "That does not surprise me," he admitted, turning to look at Jared once again. It was difficult not to stare at the half-naked, muscled and slightly tanned figure in front of him. "Show me what you've done?"
"Well, Sir, I’m nearly done clearing the weeds from the front gardens. I received from the most recent stage the annuals I ordered. I intend to start planting them in the next few days. They should be done before your guests arrive." Jared pointed down the front path. "All the trees have been pruned and shall soon burst into leaf. Their buds are full swollen and ready."
Glancing where Jared pointed, Jensen paid a moderate amount of attention to the details, but concentrated far more on the way Jared looked and moved. He'd been alone for more than a month and often found himself gazing at and wondering about Jared.
Jared looked back at Mr. Ackles with a tentative smile. "Do you like them, Sir?" he asked. "I think them mighty trees, well befitting Thornhill."
"They are that," Jensen said with a smile, still limping slightly as he walked around the edge of the garden plot. "Can you describe what you've ordered for this section?" he asked, looking back at Jared again.
"Yes, Sir, of course. I envisioned a mixture of purple ageratum, pink London Pride, some orange and red daisies, white bindweed and finally, some Night-scented stock, which is a light purple. I planned to blend the colors, Sir," Jared said. He stretched his arms and chest with a sigh.
Jensen eyed Jared's chest, raking over his body and watching the muscles ripple. He only half heard what Jared said, many of the plant names not familiar to him. "Sounds well thought out," he said, voice low and rough.
Jared smiled at Mr. Ackles and said, "Thank you, Sir. I want Thornhill to accurately represent her master."
Arching an eyebrow, Jensen smirked. "And is that how you see me?" he asked, voice still ragged.
Jared blinked and tilted his head to gaze at Mr. Ackles with slightly puzzled eyes. "Yes, Sir, from our few interactions and Mrs. Ferris' good words."
Jensen nodded, smiling slightly and then forcing himself to look at the flowers. "What you've done looks good. How are the temporary repairs holding up on your cottage?"
"I fear the roof needs a more permanent fix now, Sir," Jared said. "My own fix is already starting to wear through." He wiped sweat off his forehead.
Swallowing at the sight of Jared smearing dirt across his forehead, Jensen turned slightly and did his best to adjust himself in his trousers without being obvious. He couldn't tell whether Jared was taunting him, but was finding his groundskeeper to be eminently more attractive than was good for him. "Would you prefer a room in the house until we can hire someone to do the repairs?"
Jared thought of the cries and strange light in the tower and then of his own little cottage. "That is kind, but unnecessary, Sir. I do like having a place of my own. If I may ask, is your ankle better, Sir?"
"It is healing, thank you," Jensen said, eyeing Jared closely again. He hobbled in Jared's direction and then turned to look at the house. "The colors will enhance the place."
Jared turned and looked over all of Thornhill. "Your home is beautiful, Sir. Especially today in the sun. I am proud to be a servant of this household, Sir."
Jensen smiled at the compliment. "Thank you, Jared. You are an asset, as Sam assured me you would be. Your hard work is appreciated."
Jared lowered his eyes at the compliment and murmured, "I want nothing more than to please you, Sir."
Shuddering at the lowered gaze and soft words, Jensen closed his eyes and shook out a breath. "Don't say that unless you mean it, Jared," he whispered.
"Why wouldn't I mean that, Sir?" Jared asked, confused. "You have been very kind to me. You have given me a home."
"You have no idea what you‘re saying, do you?" Jensen growled low, shaking his head and trying to pull his mind away from all the things he wanted to do to Jared.
"I- I'm sorry, Sir," Jared said. "Have I said something wrong, Sir?"
Jensen shook his head, took a deep breath and then turned away. "No, you’re far too innocent," he said gruffly. He hobbled back to the house as quickly as possible, away from the temptation of Jared's half-naked body and the words he said without understanding.
Jared stared after Jensen, shocked and unsure what to do. Finally, he knelt and began to pull weeds again.
~~~~~~~~~~
Jared never knew what woke him. There were no strange cries in the night, nothing to bring him out of the deep sleep he had been enjoying. But something did, and when he rose to get some water and looked out his window, he saw smoke and firelight in Mr. Ackles' room. Without pause for thought, he plunged outside, wearing only his thin nightclothes, raced to the house, went in through the servant's entrance and tore up the stairs. "Mr. Ackles! Mr. Ackles!" he cried, banging on the door twice before throwing it open. He saw the bedclothes on fire and rushed to pull them down.
Jensen rolled over in his bed at the sound of Jared calling him. Confusion flooded his brain, for there was no reason that Jared should or would be in his bedroom, especially not in the middle of the night. He made a soft noise and tossed off the blankets when he registered the immense heat sweeping over him.
Seeing Mr. Ackles' sleepy confusion, Jared wrapped an arm around his waist and lifted him to safety. Setting him gently in a chair, he returned to ripping down the bedcurtains and stamping out the fire. "Are you all right, Sir?"
The sudden rush of being moved from his bed to his couch left Jensen dizzy and still only half-conscious. "I'm fine," he mumbled, slumping in the chair and resting his head back on the cushions. "What're you doin'?"
"Sir, your bed is on fire!" Jared cried and kept pounding and rolling the curtains on the floor to put out the flames.
"Fire?" Jensen asked, brain slowly coming online and quickly moving to panic. He jumped out of the chair and immediately started to help Jared stamp out the fire, wobbling all the while, since he was more than a little intoxicated from a drinking binge before bed.
"Sir," Jared said, noticing his staggering, "I can put out the fire. Please, sit down. All will be well in a moment, Sir, if you are unharmed."
Jensen mumbled something and dropped what he was doing to collapse sideways on his couch. He watched Jared through slitted eyes and marveled at the blackened material pooling around the bed.
"Do you know what happened, Sir?" Jared asked. He tore down the remains of the last set of curtains and looked at them mournfully. "You could have been killed."
"No idea," Jensen moaned, dropping an arm over his head and trying to look at Jared. "Was sleeping peacefully until you manhandled me to the chair."
"I was trying to save your life, Sir," Jared said. "If I overstepped my place..." He stood on the smoldering remains of Jensen's bedcurtains and looked at him with hurt eyes.
Jensen snorted and shook his head. "I like manhandling," he slurred softly, head still arched back to stare at Jared. In his nightclothes. In Jensen's bedroom. Jensen felt himself grow hard, moaned low in response and licked his lips.
Unsure, Jared approached Mr. Ackles, hands stretched forward. "Sir, shall I alert someone to what has happened? Get your bed changed?"
Reaching out, Jensen snagged Jared's hands in his own. He smiled up at Jared and played with the long, slender digits. "How did you know I was in danger?" he asked, eyes wide behind his long lashes.
"I- I don't know, Sir. I woke and got up for a drink. Looking out my window, I saw the smoke and flame." Jared tightened his fingers around Jensen's hands. "You could have been killed, Sir."
"I should have been," Jensen said, "if it weren't for you." He looked up at Jared, stroking his thumbs over the back of Jared's hands with a hitch in his breath.
Jared swallowed hard and smiled weakly. "I am happy to be of service, Sir. Would you like to go back to bed? Perhaps in another room, Sir."
Jensen smiled sloppily, tugging Jared closer and pressing his cheek against Jared's fingers. "You would take me to bed?"
"Whichever one you want, Sir," Jared said, breathing out a little gasp as Jensen got closer. "Just tell me where to take you, please."
"What if I want you to take me right here?" Jensen asked, tugging Jared even closer. He stared at Jared's lips, licking his own.
Jared did not understand Jensen’s words or actions, but desired to please him. "But your bed is ruined, Sir. Shall I not take you to another room?"
Jensen chuckled roughly, staring into Jared's eyes. He pulled Jared even closer, aching to brush their lips together.
Jared's hands found purchase on Jensen's waist, as he was tugged nearly against the man. ""Are you all right, Sir?" he asked, completely at a loss.
"You have no idea how appealing you are, do you, Jared?" Jensen asked, body aflame where Jared touched him.
"Appealing, Sir?" Jared asked. "I- I don't understand, Sir." He felt strange, blood thrumming in his veins at Jensen's nearness and actions.
Jensen opened his eyes and whimpered. He yanked Jared down, bringing their lips together and moaning into the innocent, dry contact.
Jared froze, Jensen's mouth gentle on his own. He had not been kissed since his uncle died, so the touch confused, moved and exhilarated him. He did not know what to do with his lips, so he tried to emulate Jensen.
Moaning, Jensen tilted his head and released one of Jared's hands to reach out and cup Jared's cheek. He brushed their lips together, back and forth, his own parted slightly.
Jared continued to mimic Jensen's touches, not knowing what else to do. He moaned softly and then pulled back. "What- what are you doing, Sir?"
"Kissing you," Jensen said. "I want you so much, Jay...you have no idea." He stroked a thumb over Jared's cheek and then slid a hand into Jared's hair to tangle his fingers in the strands.
"No, I don't understand, Sir," Jared agreed. "What do you want with me?"
Jensen chuckled low. "I want you in my bed…with me, under me."
"In bed with you, Sir?" Jared asked. "Are you afraid something will happen again?"
"Oh, I hope something would happen." Jensen moaned and nibbled at Jared's lower lip before flicking his tongue at the seam.
Jared squirmed a little and clung harder to Jensen. "Please, Sir, I don't know what to do.”
"Just open your mouth a little. Let me taste you," Jensen moaned, flicking his tongue against Jared's lips again.
Not wanting to disobey, Jared opened his mouth for Jensen. His hand clenched and unclenched on Jensen's hips, before they moved to his back. "Is this all right, Sir?"
Jensen nodded, moaned again and then pulled back, dizzy from the taste of Jared's lips. "I’ve wanted to do that since I saw you."
"Why?" Jared asked, too dazed to remember to say sir. "What makes you want to- to kiss me?"
"You're gorgeous, Jared," Jensen said, stroking his fingers over Jared's face. "You have no idea just how beautiful."
Jared colored and ducked his head against Jensen's shoulder. "I am, Sir? Thank you. You are most handsome yourself, Sir."
Having been disturbed from her rest by the commotion, Samantha called Jensen’s name as she walked hurriedly through the door. She saw the bed curtains on the floor and rushed further inside, gasping when she saw Jared and Jensen locked in an embrace. "Jensen!"
Jensen groaned, closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to Jared's for a second. He then pushed the young man away and slumped back against the couch. "Sam."
Jared stumbled back and then turned toward Mrs. Ferris, panic in his visage and voice. "I- I came here because I saw flame and smoke, Mrs. Ferris. I'll just take these ruined curtains downstairs and then go back to my cottage."
"Thank you, Jared," Samantha said, reaching out and taking his hand. "Can you tell me what you saw before you leave?"
Relieved that she did not seem angry with him, Jared said, "I saw smoke and flame in Mr. Ackles' window, ma'am. When I got here, the bed curtains were aflame. Oh, and there was a candlestick lying in the middle of the hall. I left it there in my haste to get here, ma'am."
Samantha nodded as though she'd expected such things. She sighed and looked at Jensen, who lay sprawled on the couch. "Please help me move Mr. Ackles to another room before you go."
"Of course, ma'am," Jared said and moved back to Jensen's side. "Sir, may I help you to a new room?"
"Yes," Jensen said softly, eyes heated. "Want you to stay with me."
"Jensen!" Samantha said sharply. "You allow Jared to assist you to another room where you can sleep off the alcohol you've consumed." She moved to the couch and stared him down. "Jared, please help Mr. Ackles to the next room on the right."
Jared flinched at the anger in Mrs. Ferris' tone, surprised that it was aimed at Mr. Ackles. Toning his voice even softer, he said, "Would you like to take my arm, Sir?"
Jensen grumbled, shot Samantha a glare and reached out to grab onto Jared's arm. He let Jared do most of the work of getting him upright, slumping against Jared's body with a little sigh.
Jared swallowed hard and said, "I'm going to move now, Sir. Please take care of your ankle." He leaned to let Jensen's weight rest on him and half-carried him across the room.
Jensen made sure to favor his ankle and move with Jared to reduce the risk of injury. He hated himself a little for succumbing to the bottle and for taking advantage of Jared and his innocent desire to please.
"Is this all right, Sir?" Jared asked. "I don't want to hurt you."
"Yes, thank you," Jensen said quietly, allowing Jared to guide him the short way down the hall to the next bedroom. He began to feel dizzy, slightly woozy from the alcohol still flooding his system.
Jared lurched a little as Jensen wobbled and asked, "Should I heft you, Sir?"
Jensen sighed and nodded, leaning against Jared even more.
Jared lifted Jensen carefully into his arms and hugged him to his chest. "Here we go, Sir. Is this all right?" He headed for the door to the new bedroom and pushed it open.
"Yes, though I wish it were for entirely different reasons," Jensen said, unable to help himself.
"Jensen Ross Ackles, you cease such talk," Samantha said, bustling into the room behind them and moving to pull down the bed so that Jared could help Jensen into it.
Jared offered Jensen a timid smile and said, "Here we are, Sir. A nice warm bed for you." He gently settled Jensen on the mattress. "Sleep well, Sir."
Jensen smiled softly, wriggling himself into the covers and reaching out to catch Jared's wrist. "Sleep better with you," he said, before letting go and closing his eyes.
Samantha sighed and ushered Jared out into the hallway. She smiled gently at him. "Don't mind Mr Ackles’ ways. Thank you for coming to help him."
Jared aimed a wobbly smile at Mrs. Ferris and asked in a soft tone, "Is he in danger, ma'am?"
"Not with us to watch over him," Samantha said. "Thank you again, Jared. Don't worry about the curtains tonight. Please get some sleep."
Jared glanced at Jensen and then back at Mrs. Ferris. "Goodnight, Mrs. Ferris. I am sorry for disturbing you."
"Good night, Jared. Sleep well and get a later start tomorrow," Samantha said, smiling kindly and ushering him to the back stairs.
~~~~~~~~~~
Jensen woke with a hangover, head pounding and mouth dry. He stretched in the bed, moaned piteously and sank back into the pillow. When he forced his eyes open, he blinked and stared at the unfamiliar surroundings as the night, and his actions, came screeching back to him. He rubbed his fists over his eyes and sighed at the fool he'd made of himself over Jared. His groundskeeper. He mentally berated himself for his behavior.
Jared carried a full breakfast tray up the back stairs to Mr. Ackles' room. His heart filled his mouth as he thought of the previous night. He had not slept well after and rose with the dawn to work. For his visit to see Mr. Ackles, he'd cleaned himself up and put on his best shirt and pants, the least ragged of his three pairs. Knocking on the door, he called, "Good morning, Sir. I have your breakfast. Mrs. Ferris asked me to bring it up to you, Sir."
Groaning, Jensen called out a gruff, “Come in” and burrowed further under the covers. Jared was the last person he wanted to see. He peeked slightly over the top of them when Jared walked into the room.
"Good morning again, Sir," Jared said. "I hope I find you well today. Mrs. Ferris said the drink would ensure you do and to drink it right up, Sir." He set the tray carefully on the table by Jensen's bed. "Shall I open the curtains, Sir? Tis a lovely day outside."
"God," Jensen moaned, lifting his head enough to see the food and drink before dropping it again. "No, just leave it dark. Fuck, my head hurts."
"The drink will help, Sir," Jared said. "Mrs. Ferris called it the hair of the dog that bit you, Sir." He picked up the goblet and offered it gently to Mr. Ackles, ignoring the swearing.
Jensen groaned and took the drink. He downed half of it and swore loudly before finishing it off. "I drank it, and you can tell Samantha so. Now, leave."
Jared frowned sympathetically at Jensen's swearing and then took the empty goblet. The curt dismissal hurt and confused him, but he swallowed the emotions. "Yes, Sir. "
Moaning again, Jensen buried himself under the covers and turned away from Jared. He couldn't bear to look at the innocent young man he'd started to molest the night before.
Jared paused at the door and said, "Mrs. Ferris wanted me to remind you that you promised to discuss plans for the house party with her today."
Jensen groaned again and stuck his head out of the covers slightly, growling at Jared, "Tell her I'll be down when I'm good and ready."
"I shall tell her so, Sir," Jared said with a hint of laughter in his tone. "Only I shall try not to anger her."
Grumbling again, Jensen buried himself under the covers and essentially hid from the one temptation he'd never expected at Thornhill.
~~~~~~~~~~
Jared knocked politely on the door of Mr. Ackles' private study, wondering what he might have been called for on an otherwise unremarkable evening. He carried his journal with all the details on the gardens and his plans. The preparations for the house party were near complete, with the extra servants Mrs. Ferris had procured bustling about. He had finished all the work he wanted to get done before the guests arrived and planned to use the remaining day to improve the area under Mr. Ackles' window.
"Enter," Jensen said, sitting at his desk and looking at the ledger in front of him. He rubbed a hand over his face and looked up when the door opened.
Jared walked in and smiled at Jensen. "Good afternoon, Sir. Are you well?"
"Ah, Jared, come have a seat," Jensen said, gesturing at the chair near him. "And yes, I'm well, thank you. Are you?"
Jared settled in the chair in front of Mr. Ackles' desk and said, "I finished all the arrangements in the garden for your party, Sir, so I am most well. I hope your guests like them."
Jensen beamed at Jared. "I'm not surprised, given your work ethic and efforts. You've done a wonderful job."
Jared blushed and ducked his head at Mr. Ackles, whom he had not really spoken to since their awkward conversation the morning after the fire. "Thank you, Sir. That means everything to me."
"I've been going over the accounts related to the grounds," Jensen said with a small smile.
Jared swallowed and lifted fearful eyes to Mr. Ackles. "Have I been too extravagant, Sir?"
Jensen laughed and shook his head. "No, in fact you've spent far less than I expected and have set aside."
"Oh." Jared bit his lower lip. "Too little, Sir?"
"Well, I had expected you to spend a good bit more, which means we can do even more with the grounds than you've already planned," Jensen said.
"Oh," Jared said, slightly breathless. "I could revise my plans, if you like. But it's not necessary, Sir, if you like what I've done."
"I do like what you've done, but we can look at everything once you are complete your plans and see if there's more we want to do. Including more around your own cottage," Jensen said and closed his ledger.
"Well, we could design and build a larger greenhouse than I initially planned, Sir. That way, you could keep more exotic plants. There are some from the tropics that would be completely unique to the county, Sir," Jared said.
Nodding, Jensen smiled at the thought. "I like that. Specialty plants. You know how to care for them?"
"There would be some learning involved, Sir," Jared said.
"Good, that's what we'll do then, once you've completed all your planned changes," Jensen said. "You said you play chess?"
"Yes, Sir, a little. I never had much time for games at Lowood, Sir, but I used to play with one of the teachers sometimes," Jared said.
Jensen grinned widely and stood up from the desk. He gestured to his chess table. "Play a game with me?"
"Really, Sir?" Jared asked, eyes huge. "You want me to play with you, Sir?"
"Yes, I want to see what you can do," Jensen said with a grin.
"All right, Sir," Jared said, flushed now with happiness. "I hope I make you at least a decent opponent, Sir."
Jensen chuckled again. "Of course you shall." He sat so that Jared would have the advantage of the first move.
Jared bit his lower lip and then moved his center right pawn forward two squares. "Are you an ardent player, Sir?"
"I'm a casual player," Jensen admitted, moving a matching pawn.
"That is probably best for me, Sir," Jared said, moving another pawn. "Do you mind talking across the board?"
Jensen matched Jared's move on the other half of the board. "Not at all. I don't get too serious about it."
Jared moved out his right knight and said, "You’ve been most kind to me, Sir. I wish to thank you. I love your Thornhill, Sir."
"I'm glad you’re settling in well," Jensen said. "Thornhill is a gorgeous place to live, and you belong here, from what I can see." He moved another pawn.
Jared considered his next move and said, "Everyone has been very good to me, Sir. Never before have I felt welcome anywhere. I was at Lowood for eleven years and made friends with some of the other orphans, but it was not a welcoming place. When I came of age, they were only too happy to push me out, Sir." He moved a piece with a little less thought, mind on his memories.
"I cannot begin to imagine what that must have been like, although I can sympathize with being an orphan," Jensen said, moving one of his own pieces.
"Yes, Sir. I did not want to be intrusive or overstep my place, so I did not ask about your family, Sir. You mentioned your sister's love for the rose gardens, so I plan to make them truly beautiful," Jared said, mind barely on the game as he made a counter move.
Jensen smiled sadly. "Thank you. She rarely visits now, but if she ever does, I'm sure she'll appreciate them."
"I used to wonder what it would have been like to have siblings," Jared said. "My cousin, my aunt and uncle's son, was the closest I ever had, but we never got along." Jared wished he could drive the sadness away from Mr. Ackles' expression.
"Mack and I used to get along well," Jensen said wistfully. "She's married now, has a place of her own and a couple of children. But I am not welcome."
"I am sorry to hear that, Sir," Jared said with deep sincerity. "I can imagine no reason, Sir, why you should not be welcome anywhere."
Jensen laughed roughly and shook his head. "You do not know me, Jared. Outside of Thornhill, I am considered quite undesirable."
Jared blinked a few times and then offered the softest smile. "If this is true, Sir, then we are alike in that. But you shall not persuade me to believe it."
"At least I am comfortable in my own home,” Jensen said and made his next move.
"I hope so, Sir. You must know everyone here is dedicated to you," Jared said, eyes down and smile shy. "And Mrs. Ferris would never hear a word against you, Sir."
Jensen snorted. "Ah, but she'll say plenty of them," he teased, nudging Jared's foot. "She had much to say the day after the fire."
Jared's eyes widened at the mention of the fire, and he said, "I had meant to ask you more of that, Sir, but you seemed to feel it best to forget the incident, so I tried to obey your wishes."
"It is probably best. Samantha seems to think that I abused you that night. I wish to apologize for anything I may have done that was inappropriate," Jensen said, avoiding Jared's eyes. "I was not in my right state of mind."
Jared thought over that night and said, "Sir, nothing you did could be construed as abuse, and I am not unfamiliar with the particulars of that word. I admit to confusion over your...kisses, but would never venture to complain of them. I had not been kissed in any fashion for so long." His cheeks reddened at the confession, although he knew Mr. Ackles already must have guessed as much.
Jensen smiled sadly. "Still I apologize for any inappropriate behavior."
"Was it- inappropriate, Sir?" Jared asked.
"I am in a position of authority over you," Jensen said. "Many would say that you would be afraid for your position if you said no." He shook his head. "Of course, if I were truly the 'undesirable' others think I am, then I wouldn't care, would I?"
Jared thought that through as he made another move and then said, "Perhaps I am merely too simple and ignorant of what is inappropriate, but I never felt threatened by you, Sir. And I believe you would not intentionally seek to harm me."
Jensen flushed slightly. "I would never intentionally harm you, but I do think that you are an innocent." He stared at the board, debating a few moves.
"I know nothing of love between people, Sir" Jared admitted without pause. "Lowood encouraged no such knowledge and indeed, punished even the hint of friendship between the genders and impropriety in general. And their definition of the word was broad. I know love exists, Sir, but doubt it shall be something I am ever invited to share."
"You feel nothing for Bessie or Caroline?" Jensen asked curiously. "I never even gave thought to your preferences for before I kissed you. Another misjudgment."
"No, Sir. They are both very nice and pleasing to look at, but I feel nothing more than friendship for them. I believe they both have beaus anyway, Sir," Jared said.
Jensen grinned. "Just because they have beaus does not mean you do not find them attractive. But if you are not interested in them, then that ends the possibilities there."
"Yes, Sir, I am not interested in them that way," Jared said, dimples blooming on each cheek. "Though they are fine women, I am sure."
"Do you find yourself more interested in Michael and William?" Jensen asked, remembering the sweet way that Jared had responded to his kisses, trembling in his arms.
"They are a bit rough for my liking, Sir," Jared confessed. "I am not yet used to their language and some of the things they say."
Jensen arched an eyebrow. "Really? I suppose it is not surprising.” He moved his next piece and sat back.
"They are not so innocent as I, Sir," Jared concluded with a slight shrug. He surveyed the board with a slight smile. "You are indeed a good chess player." He moved his knight again, threatening one of Master Ackles' pieces.
Countering the move, Jensen smiled at Jared. "I had plenty of time to play while at school, and my older brother was ever encouraging me to match wits."
"You have an older brother as well, Sir?" Jared asked.
"I did. There were three of us, but he perished with my parents in a carriage accident while Mack and I were both away at school," Jensen said, making another move on the board.
"I am so sorry, Je- Sir," Jared said, biting his lip hard at the slip.
Jensen took a shallow breath. "In here, when it's just us, I would like you to call me Jensen."
Jared flushed a dark red and then ducked his head to look at his feet. "I don't think I can, Sir," he said softly. "I wouldn't feel right. I am your servant, Sir."
"In here...couldn't you be my friend?" Jensen asked softly.
Jared raised big eyes to Jensen and swallowed hard. "If you are sure, I should like to be your friend...Jensen."
Jensen smiled broadly. "The more I know of you, Jared, the more I want you to be my friend."
"Then I shall be your friend, Jensen," Jared said. "Please forgive me if I slip sometimes."
"Of course," Jensen said with a wide grin. He sat back in his chair, relaxing more than he had before.
Jared smiled back and then moved his bishop. "If there is anything you would like to ask me, I shall try to answer."
"I shouldn't wish to pry," Jensen said, shaking his head and contemplating the board. "You've not wished to discuss yourself before."
"Well, if we are to be friends, then friends share," Jared said.
Jensen nodded solemnly, moving his rook. "Then share with me...tell me more about Jared."
"I'm eighteen, nearly nineteen, and lived eleven years at Lowood. My mother came from a family of some means, but my father was poor. They died when I was less than a year old. My uncle, my mother's brother, took me in. He was kind to me, but my aunt never cared for me. When my uncle died, she made me move to a room beneath the stairs," Jared said.
"And what of your father's family? Did they not want their grandson?" Jensen asked softly.
"I know nothing of my father's family," Jared said. "They never came to claim me."
Jensen nodded. “I’m sorry you had a tough life so young, but cannot say that I’m sorry you learned what you did and advertised for a position."
"They did teach us many subjects," Jared said. "And I'm grateful for my education. I know that I learned more than most poor children."
"I would imagine that you applied yourself and worked hard," Jensen said with a knowing grin.
"And I could go to school, which many poor children cannot," Jared said.
"That is true, but you have to look for ways to use that benefit," Jensen said. "I would wager that a number of the children did not."
"Many of the children were too sad or abused to," Jared agreed. "And we were always hungry."
Jensen nodded, though he had no idea what being hungry truly meant. "I’m glad you’re here."
"Jensen, may I ask- why do you spend so much time away from Thornhill?" Jared ventured cautiously.
"There are many bad memories for me here," Jensen said, lifting pained eyes to Jared. "It has often been hard to be here for long."
"I am sorry," Jared said softly. "Perhaps Thornhill should not be your home any longer?"
Jensen smiled became even sadder. "She is all that is left of my family. I could no more be rid of this land than cut my own arm off."
"Jensen, I shall try to make this place happier for you in every way I can," Jared pledged.
"You have done much already," Jensen admitted. "Seeing how much you care for this place is a balm."
"Is there more I might do?" Jared asked. "I should like to do whatever I can for you."
Jensen nodded. "Just be my friend. Give me a reason to smile."
"I can do that," Jared said. "At least, I can try."
"All we can do is try," Jensen said, eyeing Jared's mouth and licking his lips unconsciously.
Jared tilted his head and watched Jensen's tongue. "Try," he whispered
Jensen moaned softly. "I really want to kiss you again, Jared."
"You do?" Jared asked. "I- all right. What should I do?"
"Tell me that I can," Jensen whispered, hands gripping the arms of his chair.
"Yes, please," Jared said. "I want to kiss you again, Jensen."
Jensen pushed his chair back and stood, holding a hand out to Jared. "Come here, please."
With a deep breath, Jared stood and took Jensen's hand. He stepped into him and knelt, looking up at him. "Here?"
"On your feet," Jensen whispered and pulled Jared up. "Right here with me."
Jared stood and looked down at Jensen with a tentative smile. "Like this, Jensen?"
Jensen nodded and reached up to cup Jared's face in his hands. "Yes, right like this," he whispered, before pulling Jared in and brushing a feather-light kiss over Jared's lips.
Jared moaned and pressed more firmly against Jensen's mouth, needing more than the teasing touch. "Please," he murmured. "Jensen."
"Christ, Jared," Jensen moaned into his mouth, before nibbling at his lower lip and encouraging Jared to open to him.
Jared gasped and instinctively parted his lips. He put his hands on Jensen's waist and tightened his fingers. Moaning, he pressed closer and nearly knocked them both over.
Jensen chuckled and wrapped his arms around Jared, spreading his legs slightly for better balance. He delved back into Jared's mouth.
Jared pulled back with a gasp and panted lightly, resting his forehead against Jensen's. "That was so good, Jensen. Should that be so good?"
"Oh yes, Jay," Jensen said almost breathless. "It should be even better than that."
"Oh." Jared paused and asked in a trembling voice, "Was I doing it wrong?"
Jensen shook his head. "No, I meant that there is so much more. You're doing it so very right, Jay," he said before taking his mouth in an even more heated kiss.
The passion threatened to overwhelm the inexperienced Jared, and he held on tight and tried to answer Jensen. His mouth opened willingly to Jensen's tongue, which he accidentally scraped with his teeth.
Shivering, Jensen pulled back. He panted softly, eyes closed as he soaked up Jared's nearness. "God, Jay, you’re so intoxicating."
"Intoxicating?" Jared asked, leaning his head against Jensen's right shoulder.
"I could lose myself in you," Jensen whispered, kissing Jared's temple and pulling him easily into his arms.
Jared snuggled into Jensen and luxuriated in the unfamiliar sensation of being held. He pressed his face into Jensen's neck and breathed in the older man's musk. "I could find myself."
Jensen moaned, responding immediately to the sensation of Jared against his body. Pressing another kiss to Jared's head, he closed his eyes and wondered what he was doing.
Jared pulled back enough to look into Jensen's eyes and offered his warmest smile. "You said there was more?"
Chuckling, Jensen nodded. "Yes, but I don't think we're ready for more yet, Jared."
"Oh. All right." Jared stroked his hands over Jensen nervously. "Will you tell me what that means?"
"The more I speak of includes touching, kissing other parts of the body and the intimacies that go on behind closed doors in the bedroom," Jensen said.
Jared blinked a few times and said, "I hope I can learn more about those things with you."
Jensen groaned, pulling Jared into a deep and heated kiss in response to his innocent remark.
Jared felt hot all over, blood heating in his veins. His normally comfortable clothes felt tight and restricting. He gripped Jensen's shirt in both fists and used the leverage to respond to his kiss. He sucked on his tongue and lower lip, moaning.
Shivering at Jared's instinctive responses, Jensen pulled him closer and opened his mouth, so that Jared could invade and investigate all he wanted.
Feeling Jensen's invitation, Jared tried exploring with his tongue. He loved the feel and taste of Jensen, which seemed the only things in the world.
Jensen responded to Jared's kisses, urging him to explore and taste all he wanted. His hands curled in the fabric of Jared's clothing, gripping him slightly through the material and holding him close.
Jared sighed and snuggled closer, releasing Jensen's mouth only when he needed breath. "Are you well?"
"I am," Jensen said with a smile, reaching up and brushing a finger over Jared's cheek. "I think we should call it a night, Jared." He paused, blushing slightly. "We need to take this slow."
"What does that mean, slow?" Jared asked. "I have never done this before."
Jensen chuckled. "I know, and that is why we must take things carefully." He kissed Jared sweetly, keeping himself from simply taking what he wanted.
"But what does that mean?" Jared asked, refusing to be deterred by Jensen's kiss.
"It means there are plenty more things I want to show you, teach you, but not tonight. Tonight is a few more kisses and then bed," Jensen said. He hastily corrected himself. "I mean separately."
"My cottage will seem cold and lonely," Jared said with complete innocence.
Jensen groaned and pressed their foreheads together. "As will my bed, but it is a necessity, Jay."
"All right," Jared said and nuzzled Jensen's nose, still smiling. "I want to learn everything."
"All in good time," Jensen said, followed by a brief kiss. He adjusted his trousers to relieve some of the pressure and chuckled. "I think it’s time I bid you goodnight."
Jared looked toward their chess game. "Shall we leave the game?"
"We can resume the game another night," Jensen said with a smile.
"Thank you, Jensen, for asking me to spend the evening with you. It was an unexpected surprise in so many ways." Jared pressed another kiss to Jensen's mouth.
"It certainly was," Jensen agreed, cupping Jared's cheek in his hand and brushing their lips together. "Sleep well tonight."
"Goodnight, Jensen," Jared said. "I shall be up early and at work on your gardens. Your guests will be here in two days?"
Jensen nodded. "That they will. Your hard work is noted and appreciated, Jared."
"Thank you, Jensen," Jared said. He headed for the door and then glanced over his shoulder to offer a small smile. "I shall dream of you."
Watching Jared walk away was the hardest thing Jensen had done in a long time. When the door closed, he collapsed into the nearest chair and dropped his head into his hands. His mind swirled with the potential possibilities and pitfalls of kissing Jared, not to mention everything else he wanted to do to and with him. "What am I doing?" he whispered, confusion and not a little despair in his voice.
~~~~~~~~~~
Jensen moaned, fingers tangling in Edward's hair, as he slowly kissed and licked his way down Jensen's chest toward his stomach. He arched, craving the touch of a lover, the drugging desire that came with losing yourself in someone's touch.
"I've missed you," Edward whispered into his chest, before biting down on a nipple. "You are my favorite lover."
Chuckling, Jensen reached out and tweaked one of Edward's nipples in response. "I love that I can always count on you being amazing in bed."
Edward chuckled and bit down on the flesh of Jensen's abdomen. "You're worth my best efforts," he said with a smirk.
"Good to know," Jensen teased right back. "I'd hate to think it was just routine for you." He tugged on Edward's longish hair and flashed to the thought of Jared in that position. Pushing the idea away, Jensen focused on Edward with a grin.
Edward snorted and licked a stripe up Jensen's erection. "I’ll show you routine." He took Jensen’s cock in his mouth and began an enthusiastic sucking job.
Moaning, Jensen dropped his hands to the sheets and tugged hard. He arched his back, pressed his hips up and tried his best to feel something for the man who was so expertly sucking his cock. He closed his eyes, screwed them tightly shut and was bombarded with images and thoughts of Jared sucking him instead.
Edward took in all of Jensen with practiced ease, letting him hit the back of his throat without the slightest hint of difficulty. He massaged Jensen's balls in one hand, before tugging them once, hard. Pulling off with a wicked grin, he purred, "Will my magnificent stallion mount me tonight?"
"Fuck yes, Edward. Want to fuck you tonight," Jensen said, still attempting to banish Jared from his mind.
Edward nipped at Jensen's thighs and then rolled on his stomach. "Like this? Or do you prefer me on my knees?"
Jensen moaned, forcing himself to exist in the here and now. He rolled on his side and stroked a hand down Edward's back, rubbing over his ass slowly. "Want you on your knees, head on your arms. You're going to need to brace yourself."
"Oh, yes," Edward moaned and got into position. "You are in a good mood. Want you to pound me until I cannot feel my legs."
"You can count on it," Jensen said with a grin, pushing up and moving to get the oil out of his cabinet. He tossed it on the bed and then crawled back on the mattress, making Edward spread his thighs and settling himself between them.
"And who will you think of when you take me?" Edward asked, grinning over his shoulder.
Jensen snorted. "I'll be thinking of nothing but your tight, fine ass," he said, even if it were not the truth.
Edward laughed softly and shook his head. "I wish that I could believe that, Jensen. Except you know that I'll be thinking of Richard."
“I really don't mind," Jensen said with a grin. He opened the bottle of oil and liberally coated his fingers before sliding them between the crease of Edward's ass. Holding it open, he poured more oil over the hole and worked it in.
"More," Edward demanded, pressing back hard against his fingers. "Be rough, Jensen. "
Jensen took Edward at his word, knowing he meant it and could take it. He thrust two fingers in, twisting, turning and stretching Edward open, before slicking more oil on them and pressing three in. Curving them, he stroked over Edward's prostate and grinned at his drawn out moan.
"Do not tarry longer," Edward demanded on a low groan. "I wish your cock. Thrust in me."
"Pushy," Jensen said, pulling his fingers out and slicking himself up, before pushing his cock into Edward, fast and forceful.
Edward pressed back just as hard and groaned in ecstasy. "You like my pushiness," he said.
Jensen chuckled and stroked a hand down Edward's back. "That I do," he said, pulling back and thrusting in.
Edward grunted as Jensen hit his prostate. He always enjoyed his couplings with Jensen and fell into an easy rhythm. "Harder, Jensen. More."
Shaking his head and laughing again, Jensen spread his knees slightly for balance, gripped Edward's hips and began a punishing rhythm, slamming into Edward's body over and over again. He closed his eyes and imagined hazel ones flooded with desire and floppy hair moving while he pounded into Jared's body.
Edward responded with equal fervor to Jensen's thrusts, making as much noise as he could. He loved being free to express his desire and enjoyment. There were few enough places where he could do so.
"Fuck, always so eager, Edward," Jensen moaned, not finding the same pleasure he usually did in the man's sounds.
"Yes," Edward cried and spread his legs wider for Jensen. "Please, give me everything."
Jensen leaned over, one hand on the bed and the other hand on one of Edward’s shoulders so that he could thrust repeatedly.
The hard fucking made Edward shake all over, and he reached between his legs to stroke his cock, desperate for release. He went face first into the pillows, one arm proving insufficient to support him.
"Fuck, Edward, you want this, don't you? Someone to fuck you hard and fast as long as you can take it," Jensen grunted, loving every minute of the encounter, even if his mind wasn't into it.
"Yes! Yes, Jensen! I want everything you can give me," Edward managed to pant and grunt out. His hand sped up, milking himself to orgasm.
Jensen groaned, bit his lower lip and threw his head back while increasing his thrusts slightly. He could feel his orgasm building, ready to tear its way through his body, but held back, doing his best to make Edward come before he did.
Edward bit down on his tongue as he came, never wanting to call out the wrong name. He spurted over his fingers and the bed below, gasping out his release.
Feeling Edward clamp down around him, Jensen shouted out his release. He went rigid, hips thrust as far forward and cock as deep as possible inside Edward's body. His body jerked through a long, wet orgasm, before finally calming. "Fuck," he moaned, collapsing to the side as he pulled himself out.
Edward collapsed into the mattress and panted contentedly into the sheets. "Damn. That was better than ever, Jensen. You had some pent up lust."
Jensen screwed his eyes shut and ran a hand over his chest. "Pent up lust is right," he said, not confirming that it was for Edward, especially since he couldn't get Jared out of his mind.
Edward rolled over and stretched out his muscles with a long sigh. "You wear me out in the best way, Jensen." He sighed and rolled out of the bed.
"Glad to hear it. You do the same for me," Jensen said, rolling over, but being careful in the vicinity of the wet spot.
"Tomorrow, you can visit my bed. It's only fair to share the mess," Edward said, pulling on his underclothes.
Jensen snorted and said, "It's still my bed, but we'll do that." He cracked an eye open, relieved to see Edward heading back to his room. "See you in the morning for breakfast."
Edward tugged on his pants and shirt, before leaning in for a last kiss. "You won't have to sleep in it, though. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow."
Returning the kiss, Jensen dropped back to the bed and watched Edward finish dressing, eyes drooping and mind already sliding back to Jared.
~~~~~~~~~~