New Big Bang: Don't Give Up the Ship (SPN RPS AU-J2): Part 7

[saklani2]

Part 6

Jensen rifled through his cabin one last time, making sure he hadn’t left anything behind.  Though he knew to depths of his being that he'd made the right choice, years on submarines weren't something he'd ever forget and Jensen was committing his quarters to memory since he'd not see them again.  He took a deep breath and opened his closet to retrieve his jacket.  Kane would be in charge from the moment he stepped ashore, was already in charge as far as Jensen was concerned and all that was left was for him to actually gather his things and leave.

Kane rattled on the captain's quarters for the last time, since they would soon be his. "Sir?  Permission to come in?"

"Come in," Jensen said, standing straight with his jacket on and his bags at the ready.

Chris entered and studied his former captain for a long moment, before saying in a thick voice, "I wish you weren't leaving, Sir.  I understand why you are, but- the Bowfin won’t be the same without her captain."

"You’re her captain now, Kane, and you’ll do her well and me proud."  Jensen smiled at Christian, nodding slightly.  "You’ve been a good leader and the men here will do well under your command."  He scrubbed his left hand over the back of his neck before reaching his right one out to shake Christian's.

Chris took his hand and shook it.  "I'll try not to dishonor her or you, Sir... any more than I already have."  He ducked his head and then lifted it again.  "What’ll you do?"

Jensen gripped Christian's hand tight.  Though he'd never forget, Jensen had forgiven the other man his actions already.  "I think I shall teach.  The Navy has agreed to that reassignment as of my last communications with them.  I hope to be able to bring even more great men to command."

Chris smiled and said, " I’m sure many will benefit from your instruction, Sir, as I have here.  I'm glad the Navy has not lost another good man."  He paused and then went on, "I'd like to see you, Sir, as a friend, when I'm in your area.  Would you- I mean, am I
welcome?"

"Yes, of course you are," Jensen said.  "I’m not certain where I’ll end up at the moment, but you can always reach me through the Navy post. I would welcome a visit the next time you’re in port."

"Thank you, Sir," Chris said and snapped off a salute, whole body assuming rigid posture.  "And best of luck with everything."

Jensen returned the salute, appreciating Christian's consideration since the submarine was now under his command.  "You too.  You take care of her and yourself on the next tour."  He nodded, shouldered his packs and then climbed up and out of the submarine.  Taking a long look around him, Jensen walked off slowly, hand trailing lovingly over the rails.  The Bowfin was his beauty; he'd brought her through a lot, and Jensen choked up slightly at the thought of leaving it all behind.

From the dock, a tall figure stood in the shadows, watching the crew disembark from the Bowfin.  He leaned heavily against the wall of the building he shaded under, his frame thin and trembling slightly.  When Jensen emerged from the submarine, he stood at his full height and watched him with wide, longing eyes.  And then, pushing away from the supporting stone, he limped painfully slow across the ground. "Jen," he called, voice less than a whisper.  Clearing his throat, he tried again, "Jen!"

Pausing, Jensen looked quickly around and then shook his head.  It was only his mind playing tricks, though he could’ve sworn he'd heard Jared calling for him.  Another look around and Jensen walked again, away from the Bowfin and toward an uncertain future.

Stumbling forward as fast as his dragging leg would allow him, the man called again, loud and desperate, "Please, Jen!"

Jensen stopped, disbelief on his face while he scanned the crowd.  When his gaze fell on a familiar figure ambling his way, Jensen stopped and waited.  He pasted what he hoped was a politely inquiring look on his face that turned to utter shock when Jared limped closer.

Jared stopped a few feet from Jensen, eyes already flowing with tears at the stunned, disbelieving look on Jensen's face.  "It's me," he whispered, ignoring everyone else around them.  "Jen?"

"Jay?" Jensen asked, not believing his eyes.  He reached out, hand almost grasping him.  "But you're dead, lost at sea," he choked out, eyes flooding with tears that blurred his vision until he blinked them frantically away.

Jared stumble-limped the last few steps and grasped Jensen's hand, threading their fingers together.  "Almost lost at sea," he said. "One of six survivors."  He wiped at his own tears with his free hand.  "I couldn't get word to you, Jen.  I wasn't found for almost a week and then I was in the hospital for two months before I was well enough to do anything.  And by the time I could write, you were heading back to port, with no way for me to reach you."

Jensen gripped Jared's fingers tight.  He stared into Jared's face, tears still cascading down his cheeks.  "Oh god, I thought I'd lost you forever."  Dropping his packs, Jensen pulled Jared to him, arms wrapping around more than they'd ever been able to before. He choked on a sob before burying his face in Jared's throat.

Jared gasped a little as Jensen grabbed his wounded side, but then buried his face in Jensen's hair, crying tears of relief that he had found his love again.  "I thought I might be too late, that you’d already left, and I'd never find you again."

"I never thought I'd see you again, Jay." Jensen pulled back, alternately laughing and crying.  He scanned Jared's face, incredulous that his love stood before him, wrapped around him.

Jared cupped Jensen's face in a big hand and wiped away his tears with a thumb.  "I've been given a medical discharge from the Navy," he said, ashamed.  "My leg’s pretty messed up, and my left side, too.  I’d already put in a request to rejoin the Bowfin."

Jensen held him tight, trembling and shaking his head.  "I resigned."  He laughed, almost hysterically, and then shook his head again.  "I couldn't go back down there without you.  I couldn't walk one more second on that sub without you."  Not remembering where he was, Jensen pulled Jared into a deep kiss.

“Resigned?  Oh, Jen," Jared breathed as the kiss parted and then kissed his face, also heedless of where they were.

"Yeah, I'm no longer Captain of the Bowfin."  Jensen laughed nervously, at the idea.  "I'm between assignments for my leave and then will likely be teaching."

"You'll be a good teacher," Jared said, pressing closer to Jensen. "Jen, please, can we go somewhere I can sit down?"  He put a hand on his trembling left leg.  "I don't think I can stand much longer and I want- I just want to be alone with you.  Please."

Jensen nodded, instantly solicitous of Jared's leg.  "Of course.  Anywhere.  Do you have a room?  A place?"  He blushed at the implications, but hoped so much that Jared had somewhere they could disappear to.

"I have a small place a few blocks from here.  We can get a taxi?" Jared asked, gesturing toward the street.  He picked up one of Jensen's small bags and began to hobble toward the curb.

"Oh Jay, don't I have that..." Jensen said, shaking his head and watching his lover hobble off with his pack.  He grabbed the other two and hurried after Jared.

Jared signaled a cab and then turned a little to smile at Jensen. There was happiness in his eyes, though his face looked worn and sick. "I've missed you so much, Jen," he said, as the other man drew near.

Jensen smiled and just shook his head. "I've mourned for your loss since I heard. I just can't believe you are here."

"Oh, Jen," Jared whispered, thin voice cracking. More tears dribbled from his eyes. "I wish I could have told you. There was no way... all I could think of was you." He opened the door as a cab pulled up and smiled tiredly at the driver.

"Climb in," Jensen said, taking his bag back and waiting for Jared. He could clearly see that the walk over had tired his lover.

Jared got inside, ducking low to avoid hitting his head and pulling his bad leg after him. Tucking himself into a corner, he smiled at Jensen and said to the driver, "1432 Octavia Street, please."

Jensen tossed a couple of his bags in on the floor and climbed in after Jared before pulling the door closed. He smiled at Jared and reached out to slide his fingers over Jared's hand.

Jared leaned against Jensen. "This all right, Jen?" he asked softly. "I want to be near you."

"Yeah, of course," Jensen said, tugging Jared even closer. He looked at the cabbie, eyes staying mostly straight ahead, though he rubbed his cheek on Jared's head. "I thought I lost you."

"I'm here, Jen," Jared whispered. "Here." His eyes fluttered shut. "I wanted to lift you in my arms when we met again, twirl you around." He made a little sobbing noise. "Won't ever be able to do that again."

Jensen turned and kissed Jared's temple. "I don't need you to lift me up, just want and need you to be there next to me... so I know you are my support."

"Had all these fantasies about how we'd fly into each other arms and kiss, like in the movies," Jared murmured. "Instead, 'm too tired to even sit up." He snuggled closer at Jensen's kiss. "But I'm happy, so happy, Jen.”

"I don't need a fantasy. I need the reality," Jensen said quietly into Jared's hair. He closed his eyes and sighed in a breath of Jared's scent. "Just want to hold you for a couple of lifetimes."

Jared wound his arms around Jensen and stroked his side. "I love you, Jen. When Chris sent me away... I wanted to throw myself at your feet and beg you to take me with you."

Jensen choked out a laugh. "If I could have, I would have hidden you in my quarters." He shook his head and kissed the top of Jared's head. "I made Chris' life hell."

Jared smiled sleepily as he imagined it and said, "I did my best on the Dakota, but I never fit in as well. And we were under heavy fire all the time... it was hard to do anything but try and cope." He shuddered and whimpered softly in his throat. "And then we were sunk. Oh god."

"Shhhh. You don't have to tell me, Jay. It's okay. I love you," Jensen said softly.

Jared nodded and lifted his head to press a kiss to Jensen's chin. "I love you, too," he said. "I've been waiting to hear about the Bowfin since I was alert enough to know what was going on." He yawned and rested a hand over Jensen's heart. "Can't believe I'm with you."

"Can't believe it either. Almost there, Jay. You can rest once we get you home." Jensen grinned to himself at the thought of them being tucked away together.

"It's not much, Jen. Just a couple of rooms and a big bed for me. My family wanted to stick close, but I sent them back to Texas once I felt well enough. Wanted it to just be us when you got here."

Jensen smiled. "We could live under a tent, and I could love that just as much because you’re with me."

"We're not very good foot soldiers," Jared mumbled. "Wouldn't like tents."

"No, no we wouldn't," Jensen said. "But nor were we all that well suited for the water, either."

"You were suited to the water," Jared said with a little yawn. "You made it so far, Jen."

Jensen shook his head. "I wasn't functioning, Jay... not once I thought you were gone."

Jared shivered and lifted his head to gaze into Jensen's eyes. "I'm so sorry, Jen. I never wanted to cost you the Bowfin. She means so much to you."

"You mean more," Jensen said. He reached out and stroked his fingers over Jared's cheek with a quiet smile. "And you didn't cost me the Bowfin... circumstances, life, did and that's okay."

Jared pressed into Jensen's fingers, starved for his love, and sighed softly. "You mean everything to me, Jen. I was miserable without you."

"I’m sorry you went through that, Jay." Jensen stroked his fingers slowly back and forth again. "Love you," he whispered so quietly.

Jared smiled and lifted his mouth to kiss Jensen, heedless of the driver. "Love you, too, Jen. And we won't ever be parted again?"

Jensen kissed him back, brief and softly. "Never again, Jay. Not if I can help it."

"I need time to rest and build back up my strength, but then I can work again. I can find a job wherever we are, Jen. Doesn't matter what it is, as long as we are together." Jared sighed and rested his head back on Jensen's shoulder. "So tired."

"We'll get you home and resting soon, Jay. I have to report in a fortnight to receive my teaching assignment. We don't have to think of anything until that time." Jensen cradled Jared close and pressed a gentle kiss to his temple.

Jared sighed and twined his fingers in Jensen's uniform jacket. He drifted toward sleep, until the taxi slowed and pulled over. "We here?" he asked and then blinked, remembering Jensen had never been here. "Oh. Yeah. We're here."

Jensen chuckled softly, kissing Jared's temple and then pulling back slightly. He smiled and then reached into his pocket to pay the driver before climbing out and reaching his hand back to his lover to help him out.

Jared stumbled a little as his bad leg dragged out the door, but then righted himself with what was getting to be a familiar movement. "Thanks. I'm even klutzier now than I used to be."

"Somehow I doubt that," Jensen teased, reaching in and grabbed all of his packs, slinging them over his shoulders and picking them up in his hands.

Jared ducked his head, hair longer again, and wished he could hide behind it. "I’m damaged, Jen," he said softly. "I lost a lot of mobility in my leg."

Jensen shook his head. "You're alive, Jared. Alive... you can't begin to understand how much that means."

Jared nodded and raised his head to smile at Jensen. He reached out a hand, wanting to take one of Jensen's. "I'll take you home now."

"Please, I want to see your place." Jensen tangled his fingers in Jared's and squeezed his hand tight.

"Our place," Jared corrected, "until we find somewhere together. Somewhere that really is ours." He led Jensen into the small apartment building and to the old elevator. Pulling the gate open, he gestured him in. "After you, mon capitan."

Jensen chuckled and preceded Jared into the elevator.  "At least you don't have to worry about stairs.  How long have you been staying here?  And how often have you come to the port?"

Jared shut the gate behind them with a screech and pressed the button for the third floor.  "Megan helped me find a place to live when I was about to be discharged from the hospital.  She stayed with me for a few weeks to help me adjust to living on my own and get strong enough to handle it.  I still need help getting food and stuff, but I get stronger every week."  He smiled at Jensen.  "I started going to the port everyday this week, when I heard you were coming back."

"I never expected... obviously," Jensen said, breaking off with a dry chuckle.  "If only I'd known you weren't dead, but then I'd be preparing to go back out for another tour in two weeks. And I don't want that.  Not now that I have you."

Jared fumbled with the keys to his apartment and then eased the door open, revealing a small, but neatly furnished apartment.  "Kitchen is to the left.  Bedroom to the right.  And my living room is well, here."  He gestured to the room and hobbled to the couch, lowering himself down with a weary sigh.  Looking back up to Jensen, he was startled by the tears in his own eyes.  "I'm so glad to hear you say that, Jen."

Jensen smiled, dropped his packs where they were and then crossed to sit on the couch and pull Jared into his arms.  "I don't want to be parted from you ever again, Jay.  Not ever."

Jared buried his head in Jensen's neck and wrapped his arms tight around his waist.  "Jensen," he whispered.  "I was so afraid I'd never see you again."

"We'd have found each other, I'm certain."  Jensen smiled and nuzzled Jared's temples.  "I was planning to go see your parents to tell them what a brave man you were, what an amazing person."

Jared smiled and lifted his head to kiss Jensen's chin.  "I told them all about you.  What an amazing captain you are and how much you helped me."  He paused and tucked close to him again.  "Megan knows... about us."

Jensen tightened his grip on Jared reflexively.  "She does?" he asked, voice soft and almost fearful.  "What does she think?"

"She was a little nervous, cause it could get us into trouble, but she was happy I'd found someone.  That was more important to her." Jared smiled as he thought of his little sister.  "She wants to meet you."

"I would like that, Jay.  Very much.  Maybe someday she can come visit us...when we are settled."  Jensen rubbed his cheek on Jared's head and nuzzled him.

"I want a home with you, Jen," Jared whispered.  "Somewhere far away from other people, where we can be who we are without fear."

Jensen nodded.  "We can have that.  It might have to wait until after the war.  I have to fulfill requirements with the Navy first, but we’ll have that together."

"I like hearing you speak in the long term," Jared murmured.  He sighed and then pulled away from Jensen.  "You must be hungry.  Can I make you some dinner?"

"I'm fine, right here with you in my arms, Jay."  Jensen kissed Jared gently and tugged him right back against his chest.  "I don't want to move for awhile yet."

Jared carefully lifted his legs so they could lie on the couch, the left one arranged so that no weight rested on it.  He rested against Jensen's chest, feeling safe and loved in his arms.  For the first time since Chris had sent him off the Bowfin, he felt totally happy.
"I don't ever want to move."

Jensen chuckled.  "I know how you feel, though we shall eventually have to move... even if it is just to go to bed to sleep."  He pressed another kiss to Jared's temple and sighed happily.

"And eat," Jared said.  "Now that I can eat solids again, I don't want to miss dinner.  And I've been teaching myself to cook."  He stroked down Jensen's dress coat.  "Want to take this off?"

"Yeah, probably should.  Actually, want to get into some civvies."  Jensen kissed Jared's cheek and then brushed his lips over Jared's mouth.  "You more hungry or tired?"

Jared blinked sleepily at him, but smiled and said, "I want to make you dinner.  Show you what I've learned.  Even on rations."

Jensen smiled.  "Why don't you do that while I change and put my things in the bedroom then?"

Jared flushed at the idea of Jensen putting his things in the bedroom, solid proof that they were living together.  "There's plenty of room in the closet and the dresser, Jen.  Just put your stuff wherever feels comfortable."

"I will.  Thank you."  Jensen smiled, turning Jared's head so that he could kiss him more thoroughly.  "I am so glad you came to find me."

Jared gasped and kissed back, body pressing against Jensen's.  "I'd be lost without you... I was lost."  He petted Jensen's chest and then settled his hands over his heart.  "I never did anything harder than walk away from you."

Jensen nodded, bringing his hand up to cover Jared's.  "The hardest thing I ever did was go on after I thought you were dead... the second hardest was letting you walk away from me."  He took a breath.  "I almost killed Kane that day."

"Oh god, Jen, if I had heard you were dead, I would have jumped overboard."  Jared trembled and pulled him close and tight.  "Thank you for going on."

Jensen hugged Jared tight.  "I’m glad that you heard no such news, especially in light of the news about you being wrong."  He pressed gentle kisses over Jared's nose and cheeks.

"Yes, so glad," Jared said and leaned into the kisses, stroking over Jensen's body.  He sighed and said, "We'll never get anywhere this way."

Laughing, Jensen brushed his nose over Jared's in an ‘Eskimo’ kiss before pushing him into a seated position.  "Yes, and the sooner we get fed and I get unpacked, the sooner we can retire for the evening."  He grinned and stood, offering Jared his hands.

"Yes," Jared said and beamed up at Jensen.  "That's how you got to be captain... so smart."  He took his hands and allowed himself to be hauled up.

"And good at self-preservation, too. An unfed Jared is less fun to play with," Jensen teased, winking at him and squeezing his hands tightly.

Jared hung his head at the mention of his former appetite and blushed a little.  "Not so hungry anymore," he muttered.

Jensen frowned.  "Well that's not right is it?  We'll just have to build up your appetite, then."  Jensen tilted Jared's head up with his fingers and kissed him solidly on the lips.

Jared moaned and leaned into the kiss, reaching out to hold tight to Jensen.  "Doc said it would take a little while.  My stomach had to readjust to everything."

"All kinds of healing takes time, Jay."  Jensen closed his eyes and held Jared close.  "Make some dinner.  I'm not going anywhere, promise."

Jared nodded and then smiled for Jensen.  "That will help me get my appetite back, knowing you are here."  He kissed his forehead and then limped off toward the kitchen.

Jensen took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a moment and then removed his coat.  He took his time putting that away, gathering his packs and then heading into the bedroom that was Jared's until that day.  It took him awhile to settle his things, but Jensen was glad for the task, mind still whirling that Jared was not only alive, but here and waiting for him.
~~~~~~~~~~

Jared sat on the bed, tongue slipping out of his teeth and eyes narrowed in concentration.  Each night for the week Jensen had been there, he had waited until his lover was in the shower before pulling out his medicated lotion and applying it carefully to the burns on his left side.  He knew he couldn't hide his injuries from Jensen forever, but so far, his lover had shown extreme consideration and wanted nothing more than to cuddle close at night, after nothing more than a few tender kisses.

And Jared was in no hurry to show Jensen his damaged flesh or twisted leg... he just wanted a little more time before he saw the horror and pity in Jensen's eyes.  So, he cared for his wounds when Jensen was not around and then covered his body with soft, long-sleeved shirts and pants and pajamas when he was.

Jensen toweled off quickly, knowing that Jared would be changing into his nightclothes already.  And while Jensen desperately wanted and tried to give Jared all the room in the world that he wanted and needed, he was aching to be close to his lover again.  So, Jensen finished drying off, wrapped the towel around his waist, tucked in the end and then opened the bathroom door to step into the bedroom.  Jared's back was to him, but his lover was bare from the waist up and was bent over his side doing something.  "Jay?" he asked quietly.

Jared bit his tongue hard in his startled effort not to yelp, nearly falling off the bed.  He dropped his lotion to the floor and managed to struggle to his feet.  "Jensen," he said, turning to hide is left side.  "I- uh- I didn't expect you to be done so fast."

"I thought not."  Jensen bit his lip, looking at Jared with sadness.  "Why are you hiding from me, Jay?  I was hoping we might talk about resuming our intimacies."

Jared dropped his eyes and nodded, a combination of shy, scared, ashamed and hopeful.  "I long to be close to you again, too, Jen," he whispered.  He slowly moved to pick up his lotion and then straightened, turning ever so slowly, forcing himself to let Jensen see.

Jensen crossed to Jared's side, his eyes on Jared's intently.  "I love you, Jay.  I thought you were dead.  There is nothing that will change how I feel about you at all, okay?"  He cupped Jared's face in his hands, stroking his thumbs lightly over Jared's cheeks.

"You can love me and still not want to touch," Jared whispered, gesturing to reddened skin, mixed with a few scarred areas, on his left side.  He turned to kiss Jensen's palm.  "I wouldn't blame you, Jen."

Brushing his thumb over Jared's lip, Jensen kissed him lightly and then reached down to touch his skin as gently.  "There is no part of you that I don't want to touch, my love."  He looked into Jared's eyes.  "Teach me how to take care of you.  Please."

Tears burned in Jared's eyes, but he nodded and held out the lotion. "I need to apply this nightly to keep my skin moist and prevent infections," he said, voice shaking.  "I can get most of myself with no problem, but some of my back and side are hard to reach."

"You never have to do it alone ever again, Jared."  Jensen pulled him into a gentle kiss before leaning back to smile at him.  "Now, how much do I need to put on and where do you still have left to do tonight?"

Jared shivered and gently turned to show Jensen his back and more of his upper side.  "I was to the hardest parts, up high toward my shoulder and my back.  You just need a thin coating to moisten."  He smiled shyly at Jensen and then whispered, "My mom looked sick when she saw the extent of my injuries.  I- I was afraid you might feel the same way."

Jensen shook his head.  "She was not sickened by you, I guarantee it, Jay.  She was probably just sick at the thought of her baby having been so badly hurt."  He pressed a kiss to Jared's cheek and then opened the lotion and squirted some on his fingers to spread it lightly over the wounds.

Jared hissed a little and then relaxed under the gentle touch.  He shut his eyes and let his emotions swirl inside him, so grateful to Jensen for being tender and loving.  "I can't lie on my back or left side yet," he whispered.  "We'll have to find a way to be intimate that I can do without that.  And my skin and leg are sensitive."

"There is so much to being intimate, Jay.  We’ll figure out what works for us, I promise you that."  Jensen smiled at him and squeezed some more lotion on his fingers before moving along to spread it over a different section of the wound.

Jared sighed and pressed into the gentle fingers, each touch relaxing him more.  "I know, Jen.  I just- you just need to know I have some limitations right now."

Jensen nodded.  "Thank you for telling me.  The last thing I want would be to hurt you."

Jared smiled at Jensen.  "I know.  I want this to work between us, too.  The physical stuff, I mean."  He blushed a brilliant red and ducked his head.

"It will, Jay.  I have no doubt, and you shouldn't either, if you remember our passion?"  Jensen looked at Jared, hoping he'd not been the only one to truly have been affected by their love-making.

Jared winced at the words and shook his head.  "I didn't mean- of course I remember our passion."  He gritted his teeth against the well of hurt inside.  "I just don't want my injuries to interfere.  That's all I meant."  He looked away from Jensen, trying to shove down his wild emotions.

"Oh," Jensen said, relief flooding him.  He reached up and brought Jared's face up to look into his eyes.  "I’m sorry to have implied you might not remember... I didn't mean that.  I was simply afraid that maybe you were not interested in me that way any longer.

Jared shook his head and caressed Jensen's face.  "How can you think that?  You’re the most desirable person I have ever met.  I'm the one who's damaged."

Jensen shook his head, pulling Jared's lips to his for a kiss.  "Your injuries don’t damage you, love.  Not in my eyes, and I hope mine are the only ones that matter," Jensen teased Jared gently.  "You are still the amazingly beautiful and perfect man I fell in love with on the Bowfin."

"Yours are the only ones that matter," Jared said with a firm nod.  He leaned his forehead against Jensen's and sighed contentedly.  "Can't believe we're here, together again."

Snorting, Jensen gripped Jared's shoulder.  "I know," he said with a heartfelt passion for finding his lover alive.

Jared smiled at the snort and kissed Jensen's nose.  "Done with my lotion?" he asked and stroked a hand down Jensen's chest.  "I'd like to be with you."

"One more spot," Jensen said, kissing him briefly before stepping back and smearing more lotion on his fingers.  He carefully finished up the last of the mark on Jared's back before capping the lotion and handing back to Jared.  "No more hiding, love.  We're in this life together, and it's going to be hard enough so, we have to be together, okay?"

Jared felt ashamed and hung his head, after a little nod.  "Yes, Jen."

Jensen tilted Jared's head up and kissed him.  "None of that.  I love you, and I'm pretty damn certain you love me... so, let's try to do some of that loving, okay?"  He pulled Jared gently into his arms, now able to see where he needed to be careful when touching his lover.

Jared settled into Jensen's arms and whispered, "I do love you, Jen. Only more since we found each other again.  You've been so good to me."  He kissed down his face and settled his head in the crook of Jensen's shoulder and neck.

"That's what love does, right?  You'd be good to me no matter what."  Jensen grinned and kissed Jared firmly.

"No matter what," Jared assured him, kissing back and then looking at the bed.  "How?"

"What side can you rest on?  We can always just get used to touching each other again... maybe you could let me suck you," Jensen added, hopefully.

Jared flushed and said, "I'd like to relearn your body, how to touch and please you."  He eased himself out of Jensen's arms and hobbled a few steps to align himself carefully on the bed. "This is the way I can rest on my right side."

Jensen grinned and shucked off his towel before joining Jared on the bed.  He curled on his left side, facing his lover and reached out to stroke his fingers over Jared's cheek.  "See, we can do this."

Jared's eyes fluttered and then he reached out to touch and caress Jensen, too.  "You're so warm and soft.  Like silk."  He thumbed over both nipples and rolled them in his fingers.  "But hard and strong, too."

Trembling under the exploring touches, Jensen huffed out a soft breath.  "You are all those things, too, Jay."  Jensen stroked his hand down Jared's chest, teasing at one nipple.

"I'm kinda crispy, too," Jared said, offering the small joke with a smile.  He groaned when Jensen touched his nipple, arching into the touch.  "Feels good, Jen."

Jensen chuckled.  "You're all things to me, Jay."  He rubbed his thumb over Jared's nipple again.  "I remember how much you loved when I touched you like this, how loud it made you cry out."

Jared moaned again and said, "Still make me cry out for you, Jen."  He tried to focus his attentions back on Jensen, which was hard when Jensen touched his nipples and worshipped his body as if he were not at all damaged.

"Good, I want to make you cry out, always in pleasure, though."  Jensen scooted closer, stroking his hand down over Jared's stomach.

"You said before... about sucking me," Jared whispered.  "I like that, too.  Want to do the same for you."  He caught Jensen's roaming hand and lifted it to kiss and suck on each finger.

Jensen moaned, letting his hand relax in Jared's.  "Yeah?  I think we can both do that... maybe not at the same time, though.  Don't want to hurt you."

"Same time?" Jared asked with wide eyes.  He looked down their bodies and then whispered, "Can that even be done?"

"Maybe when you're healthier," Jensen said.  "But I've heard it is possible with a man and woman, so why not for us?"

"I have never thought of it," Jared confessed and blushed.  "I want to try now."  He leaned forward to kiss and nuzzle Jensen.  "If it hurts me, we can stop."

Jensen kissed Jared softly and then pulled back, eyes searching his.  "Are you certain?  I should never do anything to hurt you."

"As I have never tried this before, I cannot be certain it will not hurt me," Jared said, "but I am certain I want to try."

"Okay, we can try.  Can you scoot a little closer to the center and maybe down slightly?"  Jensen slid off the bed, grabbed his pillow and then placed near Jared's hips.  He wasn't certain about lining their bodies up, but he was going to do his best.

Jared moved as instructed and watched as Jensen set the pillow down. He grabbed one, too, not sure what was to be done with them.  "Like this?"

Jensen nodded.  "Yeah, perfect.  I think the pillow might help us be more comfortable...to lean on."  He blushed and then settled himself on the bed so that his legs were bent and up near the head.  Jared's cock was right in front of him, and Jensen hoped he was going to be able to make this good.

Jared grasped Jensen's cock gently in one hand and stroked slowly, hoping to make him grow hard.  "You haven't been enjoying this much yet, have you?" he murmured sadly.

Gasping at Jared's touch, Jensen trembled and then curled his fingers around Jared and stroked lightly.  "Neither have you, Jay."

Jared sighed as Jensen touched him, murmuring soft words of pleasure. He pressed into the careful hand and groaned appreciatively, feeling himself start to fill.  He tried harder to give Jensen the same pleasure, wanting this to be equal between them.

"Love your touch, Jay," Jensen said, shifting slight and pressing into Jared's hand.  He leaned in and pressed a kiss to the tip of Jared's cock before going back to stroking him.

Jared gasped at the touch of lips and then leaned down to suck lightly on Jensen's cock in return.  The taste blasted over his tongue, and he found himself taking more in and sucking hungrily.  Moaning low, he began to work his mouth down Jensen, eager for everything.

Jensen choked on his indrawn breath, head tipping back for a second before he remembered that he was supposed to be pleasing Jared, too.  He moaned for his lover and then flicked his tongue out and ran it along the slit on the head.  Sucking in the moisture that gathered, Jensen moaned again and stroked Jay just a bit more to get him all the way hard.

Jared lost his rhythm with Jensen, head falling back on a low moan. He bucked his hips a little and then managed to get himself back under control. Licking again at Jensen's cock, he captured some of Jensen's essence and let the flavor explode over his tongue. "So good, Jen."

"It is good, Jay. So glad it's not hurting you," Jensen said, stroking his hand up and down Jared's cock while flicking his tongue into the slit.

"No pain, Jen," Jared assured, pleasure in his tone. He slid his mouth further down Jensen's cock and sucked eagerly, humming softly under his breath.

Jensen opened his mouth around the head of Jared's cock, sucking him hard and sliding his head up and down. He curled his tongue around, flicked the tip over the bundle of nerves just under the head before sliding further down.

Jared nearly choked on Jensen's cock as his lover worked him expertly. He snorted and then tried to return to pleasuring Jensen. Finally, he pulled off with a low moan of muddled frustration. "This is hard."

Chuckling, Jensen lifted his head and rested it lightly on Jared's leg. "It's harder than I thought it would be," he admitted, still stroking Jared with each word.

"I keep getting lost when you touch me," Jared breathed. "You make me forget what I’m about." He sighed and kissed Jensen's stomach.

Jensen sighed, his body responding to Jared's light breath on his skin. "You make me forget too. It feels so amazing to have your mouth on me."

"It's fun though," Jared said. "Touching you as you touch me. Getting distracted by each other." He nuzzled and then nipped at Jensen's thigh. "I love you."

"Love you, too," Jensen said, watching Jared. He continued to stroke his cock slow and steady.

"It's fun though," Jared said.  "Touching you as you touch me.  Getting distracted by each other."  He nuzzled and then nipped at Jensen's thigh.  "I love you."

"Love you, too," Jensen said, watching Jared. He continued to stroke his cock slow and steady.

Jared arched into the gentle fingers and sighed. "Jen. So good to me, Jen." He leaned back down to suck and lick at his cock and nuzzle into his balls.

Jensen grinned and then nibbled his way up one side of Jared's cock and then down the other after teasing the tip. "Yeah, we're good for and to each other. Always."

Jared shifted and then hissed a little in pain, as well as pleasure. He licked up his cock and then over the head to suck again. Eyes closing, he tried to focus all his attention on Jensen, which he was only partially successful at doing.

Letting Jared take control for a moment, Jensen stroked him lightly. "You okay?" he asked, able to understand that one gasp was different from his moans of pleasure.

Jared moved his mouth away from Jensen's cock and licked the head a few times. "Just jarred my side a little," Jared said. "It happens sometimes." He returned to sucking, pleased with how far he could take Jensen in now.

"If you're certain," Jensen said, moaning when his cock hit the back of Jared's throat. It was all he could do not to buck into the warm wetness.

Jared choked a little and pulled back with a rueful hum. He sucked even harder and bobbed his head up and down, without taking him in as deep. He placed his hand at the base of Jensen's cock and stroked up and down to make up the difference.

Jensen moaned, hand still moving on Jared's cock. He pulled himself out of his pleasured haze to suck the tip back into his mouth. Closing his eyes, Jensen hummed around the taste and feel of Jared in his mouth.

Jared groaned at the renewed attentions and thrust up into Jensen's mouth. He scraped his teeth lightly over Jensen and then pulled off again. "Close, Jen."

"God me too," Jensen said with a rough chuckle before suckling on Jared again. He bobbed his head, hoping that it would be enough to make his lover come in his mouth.

Jared lasted a few bobs and then cried out, loud and long, as he came into the warm, perfect man. He gripped Jensen's back and shuddered and bucked through his release. "Jen!"

Jensen suckled him through his orgasm, flicking his tongue out to try and catch all of Jared's release. He finally had to pull back, panting softly and liking the stray splashes on his lips.

Jared relaxed into the mattress with a low groan of satiation, eyes closed. "Fuck, Jen, so good." He reached out to stroked Jensen's side and thighs, not really focused.

Licking his lips, Jensen reached out and stroked his finger idly over Jared's stomach. He loved the way the muscles rippled under his touch, the way Jared left himself open to such small touches.

Jared sighed and then smiled up at Jensen.  "You have not finished, Jen.  Would you like to be inside me?"

Jensen shook his head somewhat shyly.  "Would you finish me with your mouth?" he asked, quietly.

Jared refused to let himself wonder why Jensen did not want to be inside him and instead, took Jensen back in his mouth again.  Without the distraction of Jensen's sucking him, he could concentrate on pleasuring his lover.  He swallowed him as deep as possible, bobbing up and down in a steady manner.  He flicked his tongue over the bundle of nerves at the head and captured all the leakage from the slit with happy moans.

Already so close to his orgasm, Jensen closed his eyes and tipped his head back.  He gasped softly, one hand coming down to thread in Jared's hair while he lost himself to the drugging sensations of Jared's mouth on him.  Jensen mumbled words of love and praise to Jared before gasping and going rigid on his side while pulsing into Jared's mouth.

Jared swallowed only once, before pulling back to let Jensen shoot all over him.  He shut his eyes and enjoyed the warm splashes that got all over him, evidence that Jensen still loved and wanted him in all ways.  He stroked his cock through orgasm, only letting go when the last pulses stopped.  He still cradled his lover's sex in one gentle hand.

"Love you," Jensen said on a sigh, opening his eyes and reaching out to clean a swipe of come off Jared's cheek.  "I nearly died when I thought you were lost to me forever, Jay.  I still cannot believe that we are here together sometimes."

Jared looked up at Jensen from his skewed angle and whispered, "Come here, Jen?  I can't move to you easily."

Jensen nodded, sliding off the bed and then climbing back on so that they were eye-to-eye and lips-to-lips. He kissed Jared lightly.  "Anything for you."

Jared pulled Jensen to him and buried his face in Jensen's neck. "Will you come inside me next time?"

"Yeah, just wasn't sure I could control myself tonight... not enough to keep from hurting you."  Jensen rubbed his cheek on Jared's head, eyes closing in contentment.

Jared nuzzled Jensen's chest and pressed a kiss there.  "Couldn't control yourself?" he asked, half proud and half curious.

Jensen shook his head.  "Was afraid I'd move too hard or fast or grab you somewhere that would hurt you."  He smiled shyly and then kissed Jared gently on the lips.

Jared kissed the shy smile and then wrapped his arms tighter around Jensen, body thrumming low with need and happiness.  He stroked over Jensen's perfect body, reveling in how whole and safe he was there in Jared's arms.  His hands traced each inch of skin, dancing over his spine and into his short hair.  "You are here."

"We’re both here and that is the most important thing.  I love you, Jay.  And I'm so glad that we are going to have a life together... no matter how difficult it might be."  Jensen stroked his thumb over Jared's cheek with a smile.

Jared chased the thumb and sucked it into his mouth, shutting his eyes to suck happily.  He let go after a little chewing and then smiled sweetly at Jensen.  "Be harder to live without you, Jen.  I never want to let you go again."

Jensen grinned, rubbing his thumb over Jared's lips.  "I certainly hope we shall never have to find out, Jay.  Not ever."

"When do you hear about your new post?" Jared asked, settling his head on Jensen's shoulder, cuddled up against him in as comfortable a position as he could manage.

"Probably soon.  I wouldn't be surprised if something comes in the next couple of days as my leave is nearly up."  Jensen smiled sadly, knowing that would mean a return to the real world for them both.

Jared nodded and kissed Jensen's thumb.  "Where do you want to go, Jen?  What would make you happy?"

Jensen smiled.  "I don't know that it matters until I am officially out of the Navy.  I shall go where they send me, but I think teaching would be a nice occupation.  I can impart what I know to others who are just starting."

"When you get settled at your new post, I’ll find a job," Jared said.  "The docs say I need to rest for a few more weeks before I can start work, but then I should be in the clear.  I can't really do heavy activity without risking damaging my side, but I'll find something."  He sighed and nuzzled Jensen.  "Be hard having to live apart from you again."

"We just won't live apart then.  I’ve enough seniority; I don't need to live in the housing they provide.  We'll make it work... no matter where we are."  Jensen kissed Jared again, brushing their lips together.

"You'd live off base for me?" Jared asked breathlessly.  He beamed and kissed Jensen more passionately, tangling their tongues.

Jensen returned Jared's kiss, holding him close and tight.  When they both pulled back for a breath, Jensen chuckled and rubbed their noses together.  "Of course I would, Jay.  I love you.  I want to be with you."

"It's just such a hassle.  They make you fill out so much paperwork." Jared smiled and found his own laugh.  "It's nice to know I'm worth a ream of paperwork."

Laughing, Jensen reached out and tickled Jared.  "I might just make you do the paperwork for me since you're so good at it."

Jared laughed and squirmed under Jensen's attack, before jerking back too hard and gasping in pain.  "Damn... I always forget."  He snuggled back up to Jensen, breathing hard until he calmed down. "Will we make love again now, Jen?"

Jensen stroked his hand gently over Jared's head, leaning in to kiss him.  "If you want, Jay.  I just don't want to push your body's limits."

"I do," Jared said with a pout.  "I want you inside me, claiming me all over again.  I need that connection with you, Jen.  It's been too long."

"But if you can't lay on your back, and I can't hold your side, I'm not sure how we should do this."  Jensen wanted Jared deeply, but was afraid of hurting his lover.

"May I, uh, sit on you?" Jared asked, blushing.  He smiled hopefully at Jensen, eyes shining in the semidarkness.

Jensen blinked and then nodded eagerly.  "Yes, then you can control it so I do not hurt you," he said, beaming at Jared before curling his hand behind Jared's neck and pulling him into a deep, thorough kiss.

Jared kissed back and sucked hungrily at Jensen's tongue.  He released him, only to sit up and then crawl stiffly off the bed.  He limped to the dresser and rattled through the drawers, before pulling out a vial of oil.  "I read about using this.  Supposed to make everything easier."

"Can you lay on your stomach?  I can get you ready for me that way."  Jensen stood up from the bed and reached for the bottle, smiling at Jared and leaning against his shoulder.

"Oh, yes!" Jared said and handed Jensen the bottle.  He stretched himself out carefully on his stomach, lifting his ass ever so slightly in offering.  "Want you to claim me."

Jensen fumbled with a pillow and then placed it near Jared.  "Here, why don't you lay on that so you don't have to hold yourself up."  He smiled shyly and reached out to stroke a finger gently down Jared's back.

Jared shivered at the touch and then rested his weight on the pillow. "Smart Jen," he said with a smile over his shoulder.  "Thank you."

"I just want to take care of you," Jensen said, pressing a kiss to Jared's shoulder.  He opened the bottle and spread some of the oil on his fingers.  "You ready?" he asked, stroking a hand over Jared's back again.

"Oh, yes," Jared said and pushed his ass up more, spreading his good leg wider.  "Please, Jen, don't make me wait.  I've dreamed of this."

Jensen grinned at Jared's eagerness, stroking his back again to soothe him before slowly parting Jared's ass cheeks to look at the tiny hole.  Stroking one finger down the cleft, Jensen teased lightly at Jared's hole and wiggled his finger around slightly.  "So tiny, Jay.  Don't want to hurt you."

"We did this before, Jen," Jared said with a little whine.  "I want you in me, so deep I can feel you to my toes.  Please."  He pressed up into the finger, whimpering at the tease.

"Yes, okay," Jensen said, pressing his finger against Jared's hole and watching it slide slowly inside.  He stroked in and out, watching Jared the whole while and stroking his back with his free hand.

Jared let out a guttural groan when Jensen's finger breached his body and lifted himself even higher in offering.  The solitary finger felt neither good nor bad, but the knowledge that Jensen was about to be as intimately joined with him as possible soon made Jared run hot.  He ducked his head, bowed his neck, and tried to force Jensen even deeper.

"God you are gorgeous, Jay."  Jensen slid his finger out, slicked two of them up and then pressed both to Jared's entrance.  "Are you ready for more?"

"Yes.  Yes. Please. Jen, please!"  Jared felt empty even at the loss of the one finger and pressed back desperately for Jensen.

Jensen soothed Jared with one hand and slowly pressed the fingers of his other hand inside Jared.  He leaned down and bit lightly on Jared's shoulder blade.  "Shhh, I'm here, gonna make you feel so good, Jay."

Jared keened at the bite and fingers, bracing himself on his good leg to thrust back and take in all of Jensen's fingers.  He groaned as they bottomed out, body at a strange angle, but feeling no pain. "Jen.  Oh yes, Jen.  Hurry."

"God," Jensen moaned, sliding his fingers out and then back in again.  He moved them faster and faster in response to Jared's wanton noises and then finally pulled back to pour some of the lube in his hand.  "Do you want three, Jay or are you ready?"

Nearly incoherent with desire and incandescent with need, Jared threw back his head and cried, "Inside me, Jen.  Now!  Can't wait anymore! Take me."  His head buckled back toward the pillows, even as he pushed back helplessly at the thin air.

Jensen pressed a kiss to Jared's shoulder and then pulled back, standing up from the bed completely.  He sat on the bed next to Jared and kissed his cheek.  "Hey, not gonna do it this way... you're gonna ride me, remember?"

Jared smiled shakily and nodded, easing himself to his knees.  "I forgot," he whispered, eyes wide and pupils dilated completely.  "Just know I need you."

Catching Jared's face in his hands, Jensen kissed him deeply.  "And I need you."  He waited until Jared was situated on the bed before laying himself down and grabbing the oil to slick his cock.  Jensen hissed at the slick sensation, eyes raking Jared's body hungrily.

Jared watched Jensen slick himself and licked his lips unconsciously. Moving slowly, he maneuvered himself into position, favoring his bad leg, and lined Jensen's cock to his hole.  "Ready?" he asked, staring down into Jensen's eyes.

"Yes, so much, Jay."  Jensen reached out and gripped Jared's right hip, forcing himself to grab onto the headboard with his other hand so that he didn't accidentally grab Jared's injured side.

Jared smiled and slammed down on Jensen's cock in one graceless, hard movement.  He rocked the ceiling with a cry full of delight, pain, completion and wildness, head thrown back.

Jensen matched Jared's cry with one of his own, his hips arching up hard to meet Jared's.  He dug his fingers into Jared's hip, his other hand curling hard around the wood of the bed and yanking.  It was all he could do to keep himself from coming right then and there.

"Jen," Jared gasped, shaking a little.  "So deep in me, Jen."  He wiggled his hips a little, feeling Jensen's cock slip and slide inside him.  Laughing shakily, he rocked up and down shallowly, testing his body.  "Don't want you to leave."

"Oh god," Jensen moaned, head tipping back and eyes sliding shut.  Jared writhing on his body was pure and delicious torture.  "Don't wanna leave ever, Jay.  Feels so good."

Jared braced his legs and began to move up and down on Jensen's cock. He took his time, not wanting to rush the sensation of being impaled, joined to the one he loved most.  "So good," he whimpered.  "Oh so good.  Not enough."

Jensen chuckled, forced his eyes open and watched Jared's pleasure.  "What else do you want, Jay?  What can I do to make it better?"  He was feeling nearly done in already and was only hoping that Jared was enjoying this as much as he was.

Jared shook his head, longer hair flopping around.  "Want you even deeper.  Wish you could."  He sped up his movements, moaning as he found the angle that drove Jensen into his prostate.

"Oh fuck, not sure we'd survive if I could."  Jensen tightened his hand on Jared's hip and then released the headboard.  He reached down and curled his fist around Jared's cock, stroking him in time with his movements.

Jared's cry rattled his body, and he thrust more wildly on Jensen's cock and into his hand at the same time. "Jensen. Please. Oh."

Curling his fist tighter around Jared, Jensen stroked him faster and harder. He gripped Jared's hip and tipped his head back with a load moan at the way Jared milked his body.

Jared continued to move on Jensen, although his left leg ached fiercely. "Close?" he gasped, hoping his lover was near to completion.

"Yes, god yes, Jay. Wanna see you come on me," Jensen said, opening his eyes and staring hotly at Jared.

Jared never was one to disobey his captain's orders, so he came all over Jensen instantly. His body bowed hard, legs giving out so he ended up completely impaled on Jensen's cock.

Jensen shook and trembled under Jared, pulsing and coming into Jared's body. He dug his hand into Jared's hip even more. "So amazing, Jay... you're so gorgeous."

Jared groaned and gasped out the rest of his release, whole body still throbbing. "Jen." He collapsed forward and leaned on Jensen, head falling forward.

Wrapping his arms carefully around Jared, Jensen held him close and let his thundering heart settle down. He pressed kisses to Jared's temple and murmured a litany of soft words into his hair.

Jared smiled as Jensen's voice penetrated the fog around his brain. He lifted his head and kissed Jensen softly. "Hi, love."

"Hey," Jensen said, stroking his back with a soft smile. "You okay?"

Jared sighed and eased himself off Jensen's cock with a reluctant murmur. He lowered himself stiffly to his right side and kept his left leg perched on Jensen. "Leg's sore, but I feel wonderful."

Jensen carefully stroked over Jared's good skin on his leg with a smile. "But you're good? Don't want you to be too sore."

Jared sighed and smiled at Jensen dopily. "You still want me, still find me desirable... that's worth any kind of pain."

"Of course I do, you're stunning, Jay," Jensen stroked his thumb over Jared's cheek. "Love you."

Jared blushed and tucked his head in Jensen's neck. He kissed the warm skin and whispered, "I love you, Jen. So much."

Jensen smiled and dug the fingers of one hand into Jared's hair. "I love you, too, Jay. I have since we first started."

"I know," Jared whispered and lifted his head to smile at Jensen. "I'll do everything I can to make you happy."

"You already do it, Jared. I just hope I can make you as happy." Jensen brushed their lips together. "We should rest now."

Jared nodded and yawned a little, snuggling closer to Jensen. He reached out to tangle his right hand with Jensen's and said, "Thank you for taking care of me, Jen."

Jensen sighed happily. "We take care of each other and that's the most important thing. Sleep well, I'll be here when you wake up."

"Aye aye, Captain," Jared mumbled and shut his eyes to sleep.

Stroking Jared's back lightly, Jensen pressed a kiss to Jared's head and closed his eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~



Part 8