As always, you amaze me with the beauty of your imagery and the perfect and wonderful way that you write our boys so in character and so loving and (at least Napoleon's case this time) so tortured with want. And that want satisfied is the most beautiful of all, as are you beautiful and wonderful.
I am so glad you liked it (and that you read the version with the revisions here)! It is interesting to imagine different first times! Thank you for your lovely comments and wonderful wishes to you for a very Happy New Year!
The changes you made are quite subtle--but you've definitely added intensity to the last scene. Napoleon's confusion and embarrassment and yearning come through in everything he does, as does his determination in the end not to lose what he's unexpectedly found.
I love the earlier interplay between them when they're going out on the double dates too, and the way his thoughts always come back to Illya--until he finally understands why.
Are you still up for January? I plan to get back to my routine tomorrow. And hope I haven't forgotten everything I did in November :)
Thank you for reading through this again. The way the last scene read kept nagging at me. I'm glad you feel the changes helped. (I just found another mistake a couple minutes ago and fixed that. Argh.)
I'm very pleased you felt the direction of Napoleon's thoughts on the double dates worked. Had been wondering whether that was too indirect. :)
I am definitely up for our January plan. I'm still travelling but will be back in situ on the weekend and hope to get going shortly after that. I'd be delighted to read everything you'd like to send as soon as you start though. May take us a couple days to re-immerse ourselves, but then we will forge on.
Comments 5
Reply
Reply
I love the earlier interplay between them when they're going out on the double dates too, and the way his thoughts always come back to Illya--until he finally understands why.
Are you still up for January? I plan to get back to my routine tomorrow. And hope I haven't forgotten everything I did in November :)
Reply
I'm very pleased you felt the direction of Napoleon's thoughts on the double dates worked. Had been wondering whether that was too indirect. :)
I am definitely up for our January plan. I'm still travelling but will be back in situ on the weekend and hope to get going shortly after that. I'd be delighted to read everything you'd like to send as soon as you start though. May take us a couple days to re-immerse ourselves, but then we will forge on.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment