Comments | saiyuki_time: As Flowers that Bloom (Challenge #68, Bloom; the ikkou; PG-13)

opalmatrix in saiyuki_time

As Flowers that Bloom (Challenge #68, Bloom; the ikkou; PG-13)

Mar 11, 2010 19:43

Title: As Flowers that Bloom
Author: opalmatrix
Warnings: mild m/m
Pairing(s): Gojyo/Hakkai, Sanzo/Goku
Spoilers: mild for Reload 9
Notes: written for saiyuki_time, Challenge #68, Bloom; time allowed: 45 minutes; time taken: 65 minutes. I'm not sure how well this hangs together. (And clearly I need to think of this as a Wednesday deadline now ( Read more... )

char:sanzo-ikkou, pair:gojyo/hakkai, author:opalmatrix, rating:pg-13, challenge:bloom, pair:goku/sanzo

Comments 11

lawless523 March 12 2010, 00:57:21 UTC

I really liked this. (Of course, the fact that I adore Sanzo/Goku has absolutely nothing to do with it.) The unexpected rain causing a rare flower to bloom and Sanzo and Goku getting together and causing Goku to bloom (and Sanzo to sport an obvious hickey): priceless. I only hope Gojyo and Hakkai had a chance to enjoy themselves too.

I thought it hung together well. My only comment would be about the beginning, where it wasn't always clear who was doing or saying what because the adjectives describing them kept changing.

"Flowers That Bloom" opalmatrix April 3 2010, 19:25:25 UTC

Ack, springkink got me all distracted from keeping up here ... .

Yes, the mix-up with the OCs (I'm tempted to call them "NPCs" as one would in a roleplaying game) is the sort of thing that smillaraaq would make me straighten out in a beta'ed fic.

XD

I think Hakkai and Gojyo did fine - the noise woke them up after they had drowsed off in post-coital bliss.

Thanks for reading!

7veilsphaedra March 12 2010, 03:31:37 UTC

That was wonderful! And waking up to blossoms, beautiful.

"Flowers That Bloom" opalmatrix April 3 2010, 19:26:45 UTC

Sorry this is so late! I'm glad you liked this!

kirathaune March 12 2010, 06:04:19 UTC

Yay! The monkey got lucky!

Thanks for sharing!

"Flowers That Bloom" opalmatrix April 3 2010, 19:28:21 UTC

(Late late comment response ... )

I'm only just coming to terms with the idea Goku's having a sex life! Luckily, Minekura-sensei has been subtly showing him as looking older, bit by bit.

meicdon13 March 12 2010, 07:31:22 UTC

Seems like the villagers weren't the only ones who got lucky.

"Flowers That Bloom" opalmatrix April 3 2010, 19:30:41 UTC

(Sorry this response is so late!)

Hee, I hadn't thought of the connection with "getting lucky!" Let's blame it on my subconscious. Thanks for reading!

(The comment has been removed)

"Flowers That Bloom" opalmatrix April 3 2010, 19:38:04 UTC

See, I told you I'd get around to 393 ... OK, no, this doesn't really count. I need to write you something real sometime, from the POV of Goku or Sanzo. I'm hoping that sensei will continue to show Goku looking older, bit by bit. It's beena big help to me in imagining Goku with a sex life.

I'm glad you enjoyed this, in the meantime.