Comments | saiyuki_time: For challenge #67: "Do you think you can tell?", Nataku centric

rasphigi in saiyuki_time

For challenge #67: "Do you think you can tell?", Nataku centric

Mar 04, 2010 01:50

Hello again :) Glad to see the comm reawaken. It's been a while since I've written anything, I hope this is (more or less) up to standard ( Read more... )

challenge:wish you were here, author:rasphigi, char:nataku

Comments 14

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rasphigi March 5 2010, 03:48:18 UTC

When one starts writing about Nataku, it's hard to avoid going into "Goku & Nataku -- compare & contrast." Almost identical in some ways, practically opposite in others. It can keep someone like me entertained for hours :)

I'm really glad you liked it. Thanks for reading and commenting!

lawless523 March 4 2010, 11:01:24 UTC

I agree that this is very well done and complete, despite the time constraints. I like how you've constructed this, and the second person voice works well here.

rasphigi March 5 2010, 03:39:53 UTC

Oh, thank you :D I think I've gotten better at planning things that will actually fit into the time limit... thirty minutes is not long for me. (I'm slow. I reread and fiddle with things when I should be pushing toward the end.)

Thanks so much for your kind words!

white_cross_b March 4 2010, 12:24:37 UTC

That was wonderful! I can never get enough Nataku fics. Thank you so much for sharing!

rasphigi March 5 2010, 03:27:45 UTC

I'm nervous about writing Nataku because I get the sense we don't know him or his motivations very well, at least after the death of his father (though kind of beforehand as well).... maybe it's just that I haven't read Gaiden nearly as much as I've read the other series...
But it seems to work as long as I can keep it very vague, like in this piece :p

Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I'm so glad you liked it.

ginnyvos March 4 2010, 18:37:56 UTC

Beautiful, thank you so much for sharing. I think you handled the 2nd person POV very, very well.

rasphigi March 5 2010, 03:22:45 UTC

Thank you. I had thought it would be in 3rd person... but when I sat down to actually write it the first paragraph just happened that way. So I went with it. :) I'm very glad it seems to have worked out! Thanks for reading & commenting.

purpleicicles March 5 2010, 19:16:53 UTC

Mmmm, the last line really sold me on this one. Probably because it really says how far he's gone to be alone in his head, yet all his thoughts focus on someone irrefutably alive.

rasphigi March 6 2010, 04:12:26 UTC

I think it's a self-defense mechanism -- and after the life the kid has had, I don't blame him for retreating..... But the idea of someone who carefully locks themselves away, shuts up all methods of escape and destroys all the keys, just so they can sit inside a cage and look to the outside and sigh, has a certain resonance for me.
Thanks for your comment. I'm glad you liked it :)