Comments | saiyuki_time: Emptiness (Challenge #56, No Dialog; Sanzo; G)

opalmatrix in saiyuki_time

Emptiness (Challenge #56, No Dialog; Sanzo; G)

Jun 10, 2009 23:17

Title: Emptiness
Author: opalmatrix
Warnings: nothing at all
Pairing(s): n/a
Spoilers: Sanzo's Burial Arc
Notes: written for saiyuki_time, Challenge #56, No Dialog; time allowed: 40 minutes; time taken: 45 minutes. Late, late, late.
Summary: The voice in Sanzo's head isn't the only thing that's needful.
( It was a sunny but chilly day, and Sanzo was climbing a mountain ... . )

gen, author:opalmatrix, char:sanzo, challenge:no dialogue, rating:g

Comments 7

purpleicicles June 13 2009, 21:46:36 UTC

So many things I loved about this fic; the introspection was lovely, especially with the realisation of hunger and following echo from Goku to drive the comparison between the two hungers, the feeling of loneliness in Sanzo - There was no one remotely like him in all the world. - and answering echo again from Goku, and finally the last lines are pure poetry, and the description of a weary traveller fits in so well.

I also like the small allusion to the future; Far away, over the rocky shoulder of a mountain slope, crows were drifting and tumbling, their cries a muted creaking in the distance. Creaking was an interesting word to use there, and of course we all know who to think of when we see crows...

ditch_gospel June 16 2009, 06:12:10 UTC

I really enjoyed this, but the ending -- the last two paragraphs -- was especially powerful to me. It's like a magic moment of stillness and wonder. Beautiful.