Comments | saiyuki_time: Sunset - PG (51th Challenge)

lauand in saiyuki_time

Sunset - PG (51th Challenge)

Apr 24, 2009 01:34

Title: Sunset

Author: Lauand

Beta: Avierra

Pairing: Gojyo/Hakkai

Warnings: Worksafe

Prompt: Disappointment - 20min.

A/N: I failed spectacularly here. More than an hour and a half. I had to stop because I was blocked and getting frustrated and took it again two days later. Barely a page long and it's been a damned pain. I do appreciate concrit and ( Read more... )

pair:gojyo/hakkai, challenge: disappointment, author:lauand, rating:pg

Comments 11

amai_kaminari April 23 2009, 23:56:30 UTC

TT_TT I loved the softness of this piece.

Usually when I read your 58, I come looking for your unique brand of sharp, snarky humor. Your Gojyo voice just slays me.

This piece, though, was subtle, quiet and understated. That surprised me, but in a good way. I really enjoyed it.

... But I'm not saying you have to feel the same. It's okay. It's... it's okay."

*wibbles* Poor Gojyo. I love how you show his insecurity here. <3

lauand April 29 2009, 19:35:32 UTC

Thank you!

Yes, that's what I'm used to expect of myself, too; something light in Gojyo's POV. It's what I'm more comfortable with. But for some reason this came out this way. I'm really glad it worked for you, I had my doubts.

Thanks again for commenting ^^.

chomiji April 24 2009, 01:18:56 UTC

I love Gojyo's honesty and selflessness here, that he's willing to open the question of whether the situation is working for Hakkai, even while he himself is perfectly happy with. I also like Hakkai's thoughts on Gojyo's way of thinking" " ... Gojyo spent a lot of time thinking. It was just that there wasn't a direct relation between what he had been thinking and what he did."

lauand April 29 2009, 19:46:31 UTC

I think Gojyo understands that what Gonou felt for Kanan was too strong and that the way it ended left too deep a wound to compete with those feelings just with the easy way he and Hakkai fit together. He cannot win but he doesn't angst about it because I think he's used to get what he can and what he's got with Hakkai is more than he's ever had before. More or less.

Well, Gojyo is kind of lazy in his attitude towards life, and not being busy leads to make a lot of thinking. However, he's a man of instinct and action, so I don't think his thoughts are ever about what decision to make.

theskywasblue April 24 2009, 02:41:54 UTC

Aww...this is very very sweet, and honest. I love how vulnerable your Gojyo is, and how brutally honest your Hakkai is - yet he's still gentle enough, still rational enough, to recognize that he has a different type of happiness with Gojyo that he still values.

I really, really enjoyed this.

lauand April 29 2009, 19:55:13 UTC

I don't think that's gentleness on Hakkai's part. I think he's just being honest. Because he loves Gojyo, probably more deeply than any of them realizes. But what happened with Kanan was too big to be forgotten. They were still in the middle of their lovey-dovey phase when the tragedy hit, and very hard. I don't think it possible to overcome completely something like that. But who knows... maybe Gojyo is truly his soulmate whereas with Kanan, as time passed, they would have drifted apart. That's a wild elucubration, of course, but something that we'll never know because it ended the way it did, and so, Hakkai's love for Kanan became immortal, in a way.

Ha, ha, Saiyuki philosophy attack! (Or rather psychology)

I'm glad you liked it, thanks for letting me know ^^.

purpleicicles April 24 2009, 15:36:40 UTC

Yeah, baby! Gojy's calm, drawling, lazy attitude belies what he feels pretty much all of the time, but I like how he uses it with Hakkai, and how they both sort of confess, but sort of don't too. Plus, the hands!! *squee*

lauand April 29 2009, 19:56:53 UTC

Yay!

Yes, that was more or less what I was trying, that they sort of confessed but without saying it overtly. I'm really happy to see you saw it like me ^^.

the_rotten1 April 24 2009, 16:59:15 UTC

For someone who doesn't like writing Hakkai's POV you certainly did a good job with it. I think this was really beautiful. I always love those moments between these two when it seems like they can understand each other without really saying everything out loud. Nice work.

lauand April 29 2009, 20:00:43 UTC

I.HATE.IT. Hakkai's a bitch to write. Maybe because he's so reserved and sometimes twisted, I find it very difficult to enter his head and write him coherently. Gojyo is faaaaaaar easier for me. And more fun. But I'm really glad you don't think his voice was a little off or I was showing him over-emotional.

Yes, they're some of my favourite parts of the manga, when they are alone together and, even if they're talking neutrally, they always seem to be communicating and saying very important things.

Thank you very much for your comment.

the_rotten1 April 29 2009, 20:07:04 UTC

Is it bad that I find Hakkai easy to write? Entering his head is simple for me, Gojyo takes more of an effort. I will agree that he is more fun though, especially when he's drunk. Gives me a chance to bring out my inner pervert.

That's one thing I love about the manga though, it communicates so much without necessarily say it all in words, you know? It's more intelligent than most of the stuff out there, IMO.

You're welcome. =3