Ficcy
Hey, guys!
Since I got so many people asking for TENPOU'S list... Hee. This is fun.
Title: 67 Things Tenpou is no longer allowed to do... Anywhere.
Author: Madame_Maya
Rating: Depends on the line. All rating present.
Warnings (if any): Some of the lines are a little questionable like last time, heh.
Summary: Title says it all, really...
1. Must not let ‘accidentally’ loan Commander Goujun a book of erotica when he asks for a book on war tactics. He knows this was not an accident at all and does not think it’s funny.
2. His wife does, though. Especially if I ask Commander why he’s blushing so hard the next day.
3. Must make sure books I loan to Goku are G rated or below. Lending him a book on teenagers’ changing bodies was not funny and gave Konzen a headache from all the questions Goku asked him.
4. And Kenren.
5. And Jiroushin.
6. And Bodhitsavva.
7. And me.
8. And whoever else happened to be within ten feet of him. Poor Commander Goujun…
9. When Konzen tells me to ‘pick out something he’d like’, I should not give him a book on hair styling. It’s not (that) funny.
10. Must not sneak up on Kenren in the hallway and make him jump six feet in the air because he didn’t hear me.
11. More than once, anyway…
12. Must eventually get a haircut, or at least let Kenren cut it for me. It does grow, even if you are immortal.
13. ‘It’s just going to grow back, anyway.’ is not an excuse to stop getting said haircuts.
14. If I want a different book while this is being done, Kenren can hand it to me. I don’t need to lean forward to do so myself, causing Kenren to have to compensate and perhaps fall on me.
15. Must not take advantage of this position to then do naughty things to him.
16. Must never again get so drunk as to start dancing. I cannot dance to save my life.
17. Especially when the song is of the Latin persuasion. This scars people for their immortal lives.
18. Must not attempt to maul Kenren when he harasses me about it the next day.
19. Must NEVER write ‘Empy’s got tentacles!’ graffiti-style across the hall, even if I am really, really bored and/or really, really drunk. I will be made to clean it up.
20. ‘It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission.’ no longer applies to Tenpou Gensui.
21. My sword is not an oversized kitchen utensil, so I shouldn’t slice salami and cheese for a sandwich with it.
22. The proper way to apologize for something like this does not include blinking innocently and asking if they wanted one too.
23. Even if they do say yes.
24. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than ten seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
25. When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony ‘Mimble wimble apple thimble’ is probably not appropriate.
26. No matter how many people burst into applause after I sit down.
27. Shouldn’t bring a gross of those hopping wind-up bunnies and set them loose in the audience chamber.*
28. Formation is not to be referred to as ‘that rectangle… thing… Yes, that’s the one!’
29. Really shouldn’t whistle at Kenren when he bends over to pick something up while he’s helping me clean my library. It makes him uncomfortable.
30. Or grope him during the same.
31. The above two numbers are reasons why NOT to do it, not reasons FOR doing it.
32. It’s probably not a good idea to tell Konzen or Kenren to put something on the top shelf ‘because I want to see them stretch.’
33. REALLY not a good idea when Goku is in the room. He WILL ask us why I want to see him stretch.
34. Stop giggling.
35. Blink when I’m talking to someone. They will get uneasy if I don’t and think I’m a psycho.
36. Must not send Kenren down to the holding cell to teach him a lesson just because ‘He stepped on a book.’
37. Even if I was reading it at the time. Really, he’s telling the truth when he says he didn’t see me,
38. Shouldn’t do number thirty six to anyone else, either.
39. Stop conniving with Commander Goujun’s wife.
40. Goku likes to sit in my lap and ‘read’ the book I’m holding with me. This is NOT, however, an excuse to lock the door so messengers (and Kenren and Konzen, who are probably looking frantically everywhere for him) can’t bother us, no matter how cute it is.
41. Reports are to be turned in on time, or at least only a few days late with a reasonable excuse.
42. Kenren being away on a mission is not an excuse. I should be doing them myself anyway.
43. It’s my own fault I can’t get to my desk.
44. Don’t feel up Kenren in public. He’s not shy about starting a fight.
45. Even if the two of us are in a position in which no one can see the ‘interesting place my hand found’.
46. Keep that look on my face and someone is going to make a rule about how smug one can look.
47. Even if I did finally win Kenren over.
48. (Next day) Don’t let Kenren look at my list if I’m going to put that on it.
49. No one wants to know why I have a box of inflatable monkeys.
50. Really. They don’t.
51. Don’t give Kenren Tequila and green food coloring. The man is more creative than I think.
52. Stay away from the audience chamber if I do. Or at least bring my own lubricant so I’m not out of commission for a week and a half again.
53. Shouldn’t point out the fact that fruits and vegetables were once alive, and therefore are against the ‘no kill’ rule. It’s really pointless and will probably get me sent to get a light whipping.
54. Shouldn’t moan obscenely during this, even if I do enjoy it improperly.
55. The guard owes Kenren a few favors. He WILL cash them in to fuck me senseless while I’m bound to the wall if this happens again.
56. (In Kenren’s handwriting) Number fifty five is not a reason to go through with number fifty three, just because you secretly love numbers fifty four and fifty five, damn it! Sheesh!
57. I can’t send children to the holding cells because they were rude.
58. Shouldn’t fall into a fantasy of fucking Kenren over my desk while he’s standing in front of me giving a report/helping me clean. I don’t need to be put out of commission for a week because I can’t walk.
59. Commander Goujun really does NOT need a full report of how said ‘injury’ was sustained.
60. His wife will probably steal it from him anyway.
61. Really. Stop giggling.
62. If I’m going to have ‘company’ in my office, I really should lock the door.
63. Mustn’t ask if the discoverer wants to join us. Kenren is more possessive than I thought.
64. Even if it is just Konzen.
65. Don’t put a Furby behind the Emperors chair. It’s not funny.
66. Nor should I give Goku one. He’s afraid of them, for some odd reason.
67. Must not compare lists with Kenren to get new ideas.
Add more in comments if you like! Pssst... I'm working on Goku's, too, heh...
Since I got so many people asking for TENPOU'S list... Hee. This is fun.
Title: 67 Things Tenpou is no longer allowed to do... Anywhere.
Author: Madame_Maya
Rating: Depends on the line. All rating present.
Warnings (if any): Some of the lines are a little questionable like last time, heh.
Summary: Title says it all, really...
1. Must not let ‘accidentally’ loan Commander Goujun a book of erotica when he asks for a book on war tactics. He knows this was not an accident at all and does not think it’s funny.
2. His wife does, though. Especially if I ask Commander why he’s blushing so hard the next day.
3. Must make sure books I loan to Goku are G rated or below. Lending him a book on teenagers’ changing bodies was not funny and gave Konzen a headache from all the questions Goku asked him.
4. And Kenren.
5. And Jiroushin.
6. And Bodhitsavva.
7. And me.
8. And whoever else happened to be within ten feet of him. Poor Commander Goujun…
9. When Konzen tells me to ‘pick out something he’d like’, I should not give him a book on hair styling. It’s not (that) funny.
10. Must not sneak up on Kenren in the hallway and make him jump six feet in the air because he didn’t hear me.
11. More than once, anyway…
12. Must eventually get a haircut, or at least let Kenren cut it for me. It does grow, even if you are immortal.
13. ‘It’s just going to grow back, anyway.’ is not an excuse to stop getting said haircuts.
14. If I want a different book while this is being done, Kenren can hand it to me. I don’t need to lean forward to do so myself, causing Kenren to have to compensate and perhaps fall on me.
15. Must not take advantage of this position to then do naughty things to him.
16. Must never again get so drunk as to start dancing. I cannot dance to save my life.
17. Especially when the song is of the Latin persuasion. This scars people for their immortal lives.
18. Must not attempt to maul Kenren when he harasses me about it the next day.
19. Must NEVER write ‘Empy’s got tentacles!’ graffiti-style across the hall, even if I am really, really bored and/or really, really drunk. I will be made to clean it up.
20. ‘It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission.’ no longer applies to Tenpou Gensui.
21. My sword is not an oversized kitchen utensil, so I shouldn’t slice salami and cheese for a sandwich with it.
22. The proper way to apologize for something like this does not include blinking innocently and asking if they wanted one too.
23. Even if they do say yes.
24. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than ten seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
25. When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony ‘Mimble wimble apple thimble’ is probably not appropriate.
26. No matter how many people burst into applause after I sit down.
27. Shouldn’t bring a gross of those hopping wind-up bunnies and set them loose in the audience chamber.*
28. Formation is not to be referred to as ‘that rectangle… thing… Yes, that’s the one!’
29. Really shouldn’t whistle at Kenren when he bends over to pick something up while he’s helping me clean my library. It makes him uncomfortable.
30. Or grope him during the same.
31. The above two numbers are reasons why NOT to do it, not reasons FOR doing it.
32. It’s probably not a good idea to tell Konzen or Kenren to put something on the top shelf ‘because I want to see them stretch.’
33. REALLY not a good idea when Goku is in the room. He WILL ask us why I want to see him stretch.
34. Stop giggling.
35. Blink when I’m talking to someone. They will get uneasy if I don’t and think I’m a psycho.
36. Must not send Kenren down to the holding cell to teach him a lesson just because ‘He stepped on a book.’
37. Even if I was reading it at the time. Really, he’s telling the truth when he says he didn’t see me,
38. Shouldn’t do number thirty six to anyone else, either.
39. Stop conniving with Commander Goujun’s wife.
40. Goku likes to sit in my lap and ‘read’ the book I’m holding with me. This is NOT, however, an excuse to lock the door so messengers (and Kenren and Konzen, who are probably looking frantically everywhere for him) can’t bother us, no matter how cute it is.
41. Reports are to be turned in on time, or at least only a few days late with a reasonable excuse.
42. Kenren being away on a mission is not an excuse. I should be doing them myself anyway.
43. It’s my own fault I can’t get to my desk.
44. Don’t feel up Kenren in public. He’s not shy about starting a fight.
45. Even if the two of us are in a position in which no one can see the ‘interesting place my hand found’.
46. Keep that look on my face and someone is going to make a rule about how smug one can look.
47. Even if I did finally win Kenren over.
48. (Next day) Don’t let Kenren look at my list if I’m going to put that on it.
49. No one wants to know why I have a box of inflatable monkeys.
50. Really. They don’t.
51. Don’t give Kenren Tequila and green food coloring. The man is more creative than I think.
52. Stay away from the audience chamber if I do. Or at least bring my own lubricant so I’m not out of commission for a week and a half again.
53. Shouldn’t point out the fact that fruits and vegetables were once alive, and therefore are against the ‘no kill’ rule. It’s really pointless and will probably get me sent to get a light whipping.
54. Shouldn’t moan obscenely during this, even if I do enjoy it improperly.
55. The guard owes Kenren a few favors. He WILL cash them in to fuck me senseless while I’m bound to the wall if this happens again.
56. (In Kenren’s handwriting) Number fifty five is not a reason to go through with number fifty three, just because you secretly love numbers fifty four and fifty five, damn it! Sheesh!
57. I can’t send children to the holding cells because they were rude.
58. Shouldn’t fall into a fantasy of fucking Kenren over my desk while he’s standing in front of me giving a report/helping me clean. I don’t need to be put out of commission for a week because I can’t walk.
59. Commander Goujun really does NOT need a full report of how said ‘injury’ was sustained.
60. His wife will probably steal it from him anyway.
61. Really. Stop giggling.
62. If I’m going to have ‘company’ in my office, I really should lock the door.
63. Mustn’t ask if the discoverer wants to join us. Kenren is more possessive than I thought.
64. Even if it is just Konzen.
65. Don’t put a Furby behind the Emperors chair. It’s not funny.
66. Nor should I give Goku one. He’s afraid of them, for some odd reason.
67. Must not compare lists with Kenren to get new ideas.
Add more in comments if you like! Pssst... I'm working on Goku's, too, heh...