Fic: Camus knows everything about sex (Shura, list B, several themes)
General Title: Camus knows everything about sex (in 4 comfortable installments for your reading convenience)
Warnings: nothing graphic, just bad humor.
Disclaimer: Saint Seiya is the property of M Kurumada, Toei and whoever has any rights. Me, I do this for kicks.
xposted to saint_seiya
Part 1: Only once (~ 400 words) - theme 11 - only once
Part 2: Weakness (~ 500 words) -theme17: "Person who interrupts"
Part 3: The Thrill of the Forbidden (~700 words) theme 20 - done by force
Part 4: The Truth -theme 25 - (~700 words) theme 9 "I'm glad I wasn't left unaware of that fact".
Previously, in this fic:
- Oh, but sir, you see… there is nothing of that sad…sad-masking you’re talking about. It’s only the sex my master is helping me with.
The Cosmos at his doorstep has surpassed the courtesy levels of hello-how-do-you-do-just-me-going-through-No-need-to-leave-the-restroom and is quickly approaching the point where the Capricorn Saint will have to let it go, in one way or another, or burst.
Aquarius knows he needs to come to the bottom of this before things get of hand completely.
The truth
- Camus, are you in your right senses? What sex are you talking about?
For the first time in the whole night, Camus feels doubt creeping in his chest. Why is everybody so upset? True, he didn’t have permission to go and visit Shura but surely it’s not that much of a big deal? And what’s the huge problem with the sex? Whatever it is, he knows himself to be in the right, and is with that confidence that he replies:
- The sex. Like the other night, when we were in my room right before I fell asleep and…
- This doesn’t make any sense!!!!
- Aquarius, now let your apprentice speak, will you? I’m very interested to hear what he has to say. And I’m sure the Kyoko will too. Carry on little one, don’t be afraid. I’ll take care of you.
- … and we were talking about the day. And when I asked you about the rule, you did as you often do …
- A rule? What rule? You’re not believing a word of this, are you Capricorn? I don’t know where he got all these lies; he’s not even that smart!
- I told you to shut up once and -for Athena- I’m not going to say it twice, Aquarius. You were saying, Camus?
Not that smart? What was the master talking about? He was smart! Camus would have liked to protest the point, but maybe -given his master’s face- he’d better explain himself first.
- But I’m not making it up! It was about the rule! I had asked you several times about the mask rule before and since that day we came across that girl… Marin. Well, I heard she’s Japanese and I’ve never seen a Japanese. I would love to see her face…
The Saints look at each other, confused, and then at Camus who is still speaking.
- … and no matter how many times I asked you, you wouldn’t tell me more! And then, you got upset and you slapped me!
- Right… that I did… you really were getting on my nerves and I had told you to let it go about a dozen times. But what…what does that have to do with sex?
- Everything! You slapped me and said what you always say! “de minimis non curat SEX”! And then I cried, and I said I’d get a bruise and all my friends would laugh at me because I don’t know about the masks and then you told me you did it because you loved me and said I could use that cream you always give me because I bruise so easily!
The Cosmos was gone. The Capricorn Saint stood as if frozen by the very Aurora Borealis, gaping, and only seemed to come back to his senses when hearing Aquarius’ voice.
- You mean, de minimis non curat lex*?
- Yes! That’s what I said! de minimis non curat sex!
There was a short silence while Camus stood there, proud as ever. No matter he was facing two saints of Athena, two gold saints even! He could hold his own, he was smart and quick, he’d show them, he…
Both men started laughing, softly at first, then louder. The Capricorn Saint even sat on the steps leading to the entrance, elbows on his knees to hold his head that trembled with laugher. When the guffaws subsided, he took the hand offered and stood up, embracing the other saint.
- Now I see… I’m sorry I even doubted you, Aquarius. Please accept my apologies. The child seemed so sincere, and there are so many crazy people around here! I mean, I wouldn’t let Shura near the Cancer Temple even to fetch me some water in a mid-summer day.
- Don’t even worry about it. I understand why you’d be concerned. And excuse Camus, he’s … well, he can be a bit … you know.
- Yeah, yeah. Well, sorry again, but make sure you teach your little one the latin sayings properly? I mean, I understand being Italian you must miss the language and you can get away with using Latin now and then… but the Frenchie here doesn’t seem to be learning it all that well!
Camus stood there, arms crossed over his chest, as the men bid each other good night and the Capricorn Saint made the way back to his temple, still chuckling now and then. He didn’t quite understand what had just happened, but no need to get all worked up about it…he’d figure this sex business some other time.
----------------
Notes:
*“de minimis non curat lex” = "The law does not bother with the smallest things."
-Licenses taken:
(1) cant prove that Mr Age of Aquarius knows latin - so i admit it: i made it up
(2)I'm a lazy bum. Can't remember Marin's age and didnt bother to check... so maybe she's too young to show up at this time for child-Camus to wonder about her face. If so, please change Japanese/Marin for ... errrr... Indian/Danna and let's create yet another imaginary character
~~~~~~
*dodges pieces of half-rotten fruit*
I know it's not a full nia-nia-nia-niaaaaaaa to Camus (who is just portraid as a not so bright child here) ... so it can't be hard to outdo it, nei?
Meaning... there is an inner you who wants to boot Camus hard... let it express itself! ;)
Warnings: nothing graphic, just bad humor.
Disclaimer: Saint Seiya is the property of M Kurumada, Toei and whoever has any rights. Me, I do this for kicks.
xposted to saint_seiya
Part 1: Only once (~ 400 words) - theme 11 - only once
Part 2: Weakness (~ 500 words) -theme17: "Person who interrupts"
Part 3: The Thrill of the Forbidden (~700 words) theme 20 - done by force
Part 4: The Truth -theme 25 - (~700 words) theme 9 "I'm glad I wasn't left unaware of that fact".
Previously, in this fic:
- Oh, but sir, you see… there is nothing of that sad…sad-masking you’re talking about. It’s only the sex my master is helping me with.
The Cosmos at his doorstep has surpassed the courtesy levels of hello-how-do-you-do-just-me-going-through-No-need-to-leave-the-restroom and is quickly approaching the point where the Capricorn Saint will have to let it go, in one way or another, or burst.
Aquarius knows he needs to come to the bottom of this before things get of hand completely.
The truth
- Camus, are you in your right senses? What sex are you talking about?
For the first time in the whole night, Camus feels doubt creeping in his chest. Why is everybody so upset? True, he didn’t have permission to go and visit Shura but surely it’s not that much of a big deal? And what’s the huge problem with the sex? Whatever it is, he knows himself to be in the right, and is with that confidence that he replies:
- The sex. Like the other night, when we were in my room right before I fell asleep and…
- This doesn’t make any sense!!!!
- Aquarius, now let your apprentice speak, will you? I’m very interested to hear what he has to say. And I’m sure the Kyoko will too. Carry on little one, don’t be afraid. I’ll take care of you.
- … and we were talking about the day. And when I asked you about the rule, you did as you often do …
- A rule? What rule? You’re not believing a word of this, are you Capricorn? I don’t know where he got all these lies; he’s not even that smart!
- I told you to shut up once and -for Athena- I’m not going to say it twice, Aquarius. You were saying, Camus?
Not that smart? What was the master talking about? He was smart! Camus would have liked to protest the point, but maybe -given his master’s face- he’d better explain himself first.
- But I’m not making it up! It was about the rule! I had asked you several times about the mask rule before and since that day we came across that girl… Marin. Well, I heard she’s Japanese and I’ve never seen a Japanese. I would love to see her face…
The Saints look at each other, confused, and then at Camus who is still speaking.
- … and no matter how many times I asked you, you wouldn’t tell me more! And then, you got upset and you slapped me!
- Right… that I did… you really were getting on my nerves and I had told you to let it go about a dozen times. But what…what does that have to do with sex?
- Everything! You slapped me and said what you always say! “de minimis non curat SEX”! And then I cried, and I said I’d get a bruise and all my friends would laugh at me because I don’t know about the masks and then you told me you did it because you loved me and said I could use that cream you always give me because I bruise so easily!
The Cosmos was gone. The Capricorn Saint stood as if frozen by the very Aurora Borealis, gaping, and only seemed to come back to his senses when hearing Aquarius’ voice.
- You mean, de minimis non curat lex*?
- Yes! That’s what I said! de minimis non curat sex!
There was a short silence while Camus stood there, proud as ever. No matter he was facing two saints of Athena, two gold saints even! He could hold his own, he was smart and quick, he’d show them, he…
Both men started laughing, softly at first, then louder. The Capricorn Saint even sat on the steps leading to the entrance, elbows on his knees to hold his head that trembled with laugher. When the guffaws subsided, he took the hand offered and stood up, embracing the other saint.
- Now I see… I’m sorry I even doubted you, Aquarius. Please accept my apologies. The child seemed so sincere, and there are so many crazy people around here! I mean, I wouldn’t let Shura near the Cancer Temple even to fetch me some water in a mid-summer day.
- Don’t even worry about it. I understand why you’d be concerned. And excuse Camus, he’s … well, he can be a bit … you know.
- Yeah, yeah. Well, sorry again, but make sure you teach your little one the latin sayings properly? I mean, I understand being Italian you must miss the language and you can get away with using Latin now and then… but the Frenchie here doesn’t seem to be learning it all that well!
Camus stood there, arms crossed over his chest, as the men bid each other good night and the Capricorn Saint made the way back to his temple, still chuckling now and then. He didn’t quite understand what had just happened, but no need to get all worked up about it…he’d figure this sex business some other time.
----------------
Notes:
*“de minimis non curat lex” = "The law does not bother with the smallest things."
-Licenses taken:
(1) cant prove that Mr Age of Aquarius knows latin - so i admit it: i made it up
(2)I'm a lazy bum. Can't remember Marin's age and didnt bother to check... so maybe she's too young to show up at this time for child-Camus to wonder about her face. If so, please change Japanese/Marin for ... errrr... Indian/Danna and let's create yet another imaginary character
~~~~~~
*dodges pieces of half-rotten fruit*
I know it's not a full nia-nia-nia-niaaaaaaa to Camus (who is just portraid as a not so bright child here) ... so it can't be hard to outdo it, nei?
Meaning... there is an inner you who wants to boot Camus hard... let it express itself! ;)