"Oh, aye. She was from my mother's family--they lived on a ranch outside of Gilead. And when Nessa had her baby, they sent her to live with us in the city."
He can remember what it felt like, back then--a newly-minted gunslinger still caught in the awkwardness of adolescence, torn between eagerness to help out and worry that he might somehow mishandle something that seemed so fragile.
"Two years." And now, Cuthbert's expression is slightly shadowed as he looks down at the sleeping baby. "Her family left New Canaan a little while after she went back to the ranch--things were getting pretty bad by that time, and they were hoping to find a place where it was better."
And Cuthbert and his parents never found out where they went, or what became of them.
Aye, and she knows it well-- their world has moved on, and so many people with it, say true. But there's still the hope that mayhap it were well for them.
She smiles up at him, and then looks down at Derry once more and sings very softly.
Hush, hush, time to be sleeping Hush, hush, dreams come a-creeping Dreams of peace and of freedom So smile in your sleep, bonny baby.
Cuthbert closes his eyes and leans his head against hers as he listens to her sing the cradle-song--unfamiliar to him, but still beautiful.
After a few moments, he shifts Derry's weight in his arms again, careful not to wake her. "I think my arm is falling asleep--should we get her settled for the night?"
As he hands Derry over to her, it strikes him, all at once.
This is it. Taking care of another's child for one day, or mayhap a few--this is all they'll ever have.
And it's not that he would consider himself particularly ready for fatherhood, or that the thought would even have entered their minds, at the point they're at...but this is it.
He doesn't know if Susan's thought of this, and doesn't want to bring it up if she hasn't--but he can't quite keep another shadow from crossing his face.
That is completely why he's knocking on her door this late at night.
...Shut up.
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He can remember what it felt like, back then--a newly-minted gunslinger still caught in the awkwardness of adolescence, torn between eagerness to help out and worry that he might somehow mishandle something that seemed so fragile.
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It's more of his family than she's really ever heard before, and she's fascinated.
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And Cuthbert and his parents never found out where they went, or what became of them.
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"Mayhap they did." It's softly said, but no less hopeful for all of that.
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"I've always liked to think so."
Even if he knows it's not likely.
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She smiles up at him, and then looks down at Derry once more and sings very softly.
Hush, hush, time to be sleeping
Hush, hush, dreams come a-creeping
Dreams of peace and of freedom
So smile in your sleep, bonny baby.
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After a few moments, he shifts Derry's weight in his arms again, careful not to wake her. "I think my arm is falling asleep--should we get her settled for the night?"
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She pulls away from him and stands up, looking down at them both with a soft smile as she holds out her arms for the baby.
"Would'ee like me to take her?"
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This is it. Taking care of another's child for one day, or mayhap a few--this is all they'll ever have.
And it's not that he would consider himself particularly ready for fatherhood, or that the thought would even have entered their minds, at the point they're at...but this is it.
He doesn't know if Susan's thought of this, and doesn't want to bring it up if she hasn't--but he can't quite keep another shadow from crossing his face.
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"Are thee well, 'Bert?"
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"If thee say it, then."
Derry makes a small noise, and Susan looks down at her again, murmuring,
"Shh, baby-bunting, baby dear-- there's naught that need trouble thee."
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"There -- we can take one out, they're very large -- make a nest with folded blankets, and it'll serve well enough as a cradle, say true."
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And as Susan has an armful of baby, Cuthbert sets about preparing the makeshift cradle, with spare blankets from the closet.
When it's ready, he sets it on the floor beside the bed.
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