Issues: The Beginning, Ch22
Title: Issues: The Beginning, Ch22
Fandom: Issues
Characters/pairings: Ensemble
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A group of college students find a way to travel to other worlds.
Warnings: Mary-Sue self insert with bad characterizations.
Notes: Old writing, from waaaaay back in the day, in it's mostly original format (very minor corrections may have been made)
o o o
“Oooooh, the ghosts!” Missy breathed, her eyes glued to the movie playing on their too-small-for-good-viewing Tv.
“Y’ think?” Renee asked. “You’ve seen this how many times?”
“Eight.”
Keeren sighed happily, snuggling into the couch with a bowl of potato chips in her lap. There were few better ways to spend a Friday night than by sitting on a couch, eating junk food and watching a brand new DVD. The third Lord of the Rings movie had just come out on video not two days before and they had decided on a marathon of all three movies. It was nearing midnight and they were in the middle of the third movie.
“Wonder why Teri’s not here.” Keeren said to no one.
“She’s probably in Rivendell as we speak, staring at architecture or something.” Missy said. “She goes there for inspiration to put in her blueprints. Found a portal down where she‘s living, Tennessee, right?”
Renee snorted and opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by a ‘BWWWWAAAAMMMMNNNN’ and the sight of the portal opening up before them- right in the way of the screen.
“I was watching that!” Missy griped as Teri stepped from the pulsing blue void. She quickly shut up as she realized Teri wasn’t alone. The older woman was pulling a dizzy looking elf through the portal by the wrist, her face torn between exasperation and amusement.
“Budge up, y’ lumps.” Teri said as Legolas swayed on his feet. “Or get a lap full of elf.”
“And that’s bad how?” Keeren asked as they scrambled from their seats. Teri aimed a kick at her leg and missed as she led Legolas to the couch and had him sit. The elf had one hand to his temple and his eyes tightly shut. A simple gray tunic and leggings adorned his form.
“Are you going to live?” Teri asked, sitting beside the elf.
“I believe so. Please, give me but a moment to collect myself.” Legolas replied, gently shaking his head. “What a painful way to travel.”
“Eh, you get used to it.” Missy replied from her new place at the table. She looked at her sister. “So, I guess he talked you into coming here?”
“Indeed.” Teri replied. “He wanted to see ‘your wondrous sounding world’, never mind that I told him it’d be hell to get through the portal.”
“I am starting to get a good idea as to this ‘hell’ you speak of.” Legolas said, carefully sitting up. “And it seems to be a place worse than the pits of Mordor.”
“That’s the point.” Renee quipped. “Hell’s where the bad people go when they die, to be punished for their sins.”
“…I see. And who decides this? And where do the good people go?”
“Ok,” Keeren interrupted. “I’m diverting this conversation AWAY from teaching an elf Christian beliefs.” She gave Legolas a sympathetic look. “Maybe we’ll explain it all to you one day, but you’re really not in the proper mind for this stuff.” She held her bowl of chips up to the elf from her place on the floor. “To welcome you to our home, I offer you a favorite food of our world, potato chips.” she intoned solemnly.
All four women had to stifle giggles at the look on the elf’s face as he picked up a chip and popped it into his mouth. “Strange.” He said after swallowing. “Are all the foods of your world so odd?”
Teri grinned. “No, but a lot of them are.”
Legolas frowned, and started to speak, but his attention was diverted by something before him. Teri looked up and cursed under her breath. The DVD had been allowed to play, and was now showing Gimli, Aragorn, and Legolas emerging from the dark ships in Osgiliath. The elf on the screen was looking battle-ready yet pretty. The elf on the couch looked shocked.
“Uh-oh.” Missy muttered.
“What flawed magic is this?” Legolas asked in disbelief. “For I remember that moment well, yet this is far off from my memory!”
“Well…ah…y’see….” Teri drawled, trying to think of a way to explain. “In this world, Frodo’s book, the Lord of the Rings, is a great, well loved story. And…”
“This,” Keeren said, waving a hand at the Tv. “Is a way of telling stories by showing images of the happenings. But the people who made this story didn’t know exactly what it was like, so they had to guess.”
“Think of it as they were putting on a play.” Renee suggested. “And they found a way to make a moving, talking painting of the entire thing.”
Legolas frowned. His movie self was currently swinging by a rope beneath the belly of an olliphaunt. “And that is supposed to be…me?” He asked.
“Yep.” Missy said. “The guy’s name is Orlando Bloom. He got quite famous playing you.”
“Do you have a still view of this?” Legolas asked. Keeren nodded and found the box for the DVD, handing it to the elf. He stared at the cover for a long moment. “Lord Aragorn has longer hair than this.” He said finally.
“Like I said,” Keeren said. “They didn’t know exactly how you guys all looked, so they couldn’t do it exactly how it was supposed to be.”
“I see.”
Teri leaned over and hit the remote to the DVD player, turning it and the Tv off. “Trust me,” she said. “You do not need to watch this movie. You already know what happens, right?”
Legolas shook his head and stood from the couch. “True, my memory of the time serves me well, for I never wish to forget. But with your leave, my ladies, may I explore around this strange place?”
“Indeed, Master Elf.”
Fandom: Issues
Characters/pairings: Ensemble
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A group of college students find a way to travel to other worlds.
Warnings: Mary-Sue self insert with bad characterizations.
Notes: Old writing, from waaaaay back in the day, in it's mostly original format (very minor corrections may have been made)
o o o
“Oooooh, the ghosts!” Missy breathed, her eyes glued to the movie playing on their too-small-for-good-viewing Tv.
“Y’ think?” Renee asked. “You’ve seen this how many times?”
“Eight.”
Keeren sighed happily, snuggling into the couch with a bowl of potato chips in her lap. There were few better ways to spend a Friday night than by sitting on a couch, eating junk food and watching a brand new DVD. The third Lord of the Rings movie had just come out on video not two days before and they had decided on a marathon of all three movies. It was nearing midnight and they were in the middle of the third movie.
“Wonder why Teri’s not here.” Keeren said to no one.
“She’s probably in Rivendell as we speak, staring at architecture or something.” Missy said. “She goes there for inspiration to put in her blueprints. Found a portal down where she‘s living, Tennessee, right?”
Renee snorted and opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by a ‘BWWWWAAAAMMMMNNNN’ and the sight of the portal opening up before them- right in the way of the screen.
“I was watching that!” Missy griped as Teri stepped from the pulsing blue void. She quickly shut up as she realized Teri wasn’t alone. The older woman was pulling a dizzy looking elf through the portal by the wrist, her face torn between exasperation and amusement.
“Budge up, y’ lumps.” Teri said as Legolas swayed on his feet. “Or get a lap full of elf.”
“And that’s bad how?” Keeren asked as they scrambled from their seats. Teri aimed a kick at her leg and missed as she led Legolas to the couch and had him sit. The elf had one hand to his temple and his eyes tightly shut. A simple gray tunic and leggings adorned his form.
“Are you going to live?” Teri asked, sitting beside the elf.
“I believe so. Please, give me but a moment to collect myself.” Legolas replied, gently shaking his head. “What a painful way to travel.”
“Eh, you get used to it.” Missy replied from her new place at the table. She looked at her sister. “So, I guess he talked you into coming here?”
“Indeed.” Teri replied. “He wanted to see ‘your wondrous sounding world’, never mind that I told him it’d be hell to get through the portal.”
“I am starting to get a good idea as to this ‘hell’ you speak of.” Legolas said, carefully sitting up. “And it seems to be a place worse than the pits of Mordor.”
“That’s the point.” Renee quipped. “Hell’s where the bad people go when they die, to be punished for their sins.”
“…I see. And who decides this? And where do the good people go?”
“Ok,” Keeren interrupted. “I’m diverting this conversation AWAY from teaching an elf Christian beliefs.” She gave Legolas a sympathetic look. “Maybe we’ll explain it all to you one day, but you’re really not in the proper mind for this stuff.” She held her bowl of chips up to the elf from her place on the floor. “To welcome you to our home, I offer you a favorite food of our world, potato chips.” she intoned solemnly.
All four women had to stifle giggles at the look on the elf’s face as he picked up a chip and popped it into his mouth. “Strange.” He said after swallowing. “Are all the foods of your world so odd?”
Teri grinned. “No, but a lot of them are.”
Legolas frowned, and started to speak, but his attention was diverted by something before him. Teri looked up and cursed under her breath. The DVD had been allowed to play, and was now showing Gimli, Aragorn, and Legolas emerging from the dark ships in Osgiliath. The elf on the screen was looking battle-ready yet pretty. The elf on the couch looked shocked.
“Uh-oh.” Missy muttered.
“What flawed magic is this?” Legolas asked in disbelief. “For I remember that moment well, yet this is far off from my memory!”
“Well…ah…y’see….” Teri drawled, trying to think of a way to explain. “In this world, Frodo’s book, the Lord of the Rings, is a great, well loved story. And…”
“This,” Keeren said, waving a hand at the Tv. “Is a way of telling stories by showing images of the happenings. But the people who made this story didn’t know exactly what it was like, so they had to guess.”
“Think of it as they were putting on a play.” Renee suggested. “And they found a way to make a moving, talking painting of the entire thing.”
Legolas frowned. His movie self was currently swinging by a rope beneath the belly of an olliphaunt. “And that is supposed to be…me?” He asked.
“Yep.” Missy said. “The guy’s name is Orlando Bloom. He got quite famous playing you.”
“Do you have a still view of this?” Legolas asked. Keeren nodded and found the box for the DVD, handing it to the elf. He stared at the cover for a long moment. “Lord Aragorn has longer hair than this.” He said finally.
“Like I said,” Keeren said. “They didn’t know exactly how you guys all looked, so they couldn’t do it exactly how it was supposed to be.”
“I see.”
Teri leaned over and hit the remote to the DVD player, turning it and the Tv off. “Trust me,” she said. “You do not need to watch this movie. You already know what happens, right?”
Legolas shook his head and stood from the couch. “True, my memory of the time serves me well, for I never wish to forget. But with your leave, my ladies, may I explore around this strange place?”
“Indeed, Master Elf.”