Fic: Assorted Emails... | DCU | Clark/Lois, Clark/Bruce | R | 1/1 (3/3 in Letters series)
Title: Assorted Emails: The Insanity Continues
Fandom: DCU
Characters/Pairings: Clark/Lois, Clark/Bruce, mentions of Bruce/Selina
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,133
Summary: The situation escalates as Clark learns about Lois's email to Bruce.
Disclaimer: DC and WB own it all. I own nothing. Darnit.
Author's Note: Follows A Letter to Bruce and Bruce's Reply, etc.... Future installments of this series will be in regular fic format.... and will likely have a higher rating. ^_~
Assorted Emails: The Insanity Continues
From: dark_nit01@gmail.com
To: ckent71@hotmail.com
Subject: This is insane
Sent: Friday, September 14, 2007 5:58 PM EDT
Clark,
Got an email from Lois. It's a good thing I'm rested, or else I'd be ranting to you again. Looks like she's got some interesting ideas about us - none of which I'm particularly enthused ab-- scratch that. Your wife makes a compelling case. (and did you know that woman curses like a sailor? She makes me look like a saint!) On one hand, I'd like to tell you both to got to hell and tell *you* to stay the hell away from me, but... Goddammit, Clark, what the hell gives you and Lois the right to go making these kinds of decisions about me!?! x_x I've managed to get by just fine with you two married. Have a pretty good thing going on the side with Selina - yes, it's the fucking whip, ok!? - and I'm otherwise doing fine by myself. I didn't ask for you two to just swoop in and start messing with things.
...
Please tell me you knew what she was up to.
Oh, dammit, now that I look at your emails again... you had no idea, did you? Jesus fucking Christ, Clark! >_< What the hell is Lois *doing* anyway!?! Do you know she threatened me? Threatened to rip out my spleen if I made you cry again.
What the hell were you CRYING for!?! O_O It's not like I called you names. Shit. Alright. Fine. I'm sorry I came across so harshly, ok? Just... don't get Lois pissed at me again. *I* didn't start this mess. You're the one that emailed ME, remember?
Oh, and for the record, how the hell does Lois know about what happened in the Cave? Aside from whatever you told her today. She acted like she had better resources than Babs. Which is downright scary.
Also for the record: Yes, you hurt me. A lot. Why the hell do you think you can't read me sometimes? It's because I *don't want you to*! x_x How else am I supposed to keep my goddamn distance, huh? Do you have any fucking idea how hard it is to focus with you around? I CAN'T!!! Or at least, I *couldn't*. Thought I had moved past all that shit years ago. Hmph.
Gotta run. Later.
B
From: ckent71@hotmail.com
To: dark_nit01@gmail.com
Subject: Re: This is insane
Sent: Saturday, September 15, 2007 12:26 AM CEST
Bruce,
Um... I really don't know what to say about Lois. This afternoon didn't go quite how I thought it would. I told her about our past - brief as it was - and she sort of had a nuclear meltdown. That much I'd expected... but then she started ranting about eating your liver for breakfast for hurting me. I didn't have any idea what she meant until I got your email. I... didn't know she heard me.
Dammit, I'm sorry, Bruce. Yeah, you were pretty harsh in your first email. And that hurt. I didn't, um, expect you to just rip my head off, okay? But there it is, my big secret. O_o Contrary to popular belief, I'm not made of steel.
Just... thank you for apologizing. I know you think it's just some flippant way to get past the awkwardness, but that does mean a lot to me.
About Lois's “ideas” about us, I'm not completely sure what you mean. Is there something going on that I don't know about? What exactly did she say to you that has you freaking out? And really, I have no idea how she could know anything more about what happened than what I told her - which was precious little. I didn't think it would be appropriate to list all the sordid details about what you did to me that night. But then... considering her reaction to the De Sade Museum, I'm not all that sure she wouldn't have wanted to hear it. O_O Um... seriously, what did she tell you?
::is confused::
*hugs*
Clark
PS - I am so sorry I hurt you. I really had no idea.
From: dark_nit01@gmail.com
To: ckent71@hotmail.com
Subject: The insanity continues...
Sent: Friday, September 14, 2007 6:47 PM EDT
Wait... you still don't know? For the love of God, Clark... O_o Lois apparently took you to the De Sade Museum because “that place has [*me*] written all over it.” She's TRYING TO HOOK US UP!!!! X_X Which is quite possibly the most disturbing thing she has ever done. She wants to *share* you with me.
How does that make sense, Clark? How can she possibly want to do that? Yeah, like I said, she makes a compelling case, complete with YOUR tears as proof that we belong together (???) and tabloid speculation about the “World's fucking Finest” (her words) being an item anyway. She might as well have drawn a freaking chart. >_<
So what the hell are we going to do about this? Lois has this crazy idea that you and she are going to come to Gotham after you get back to Metropolis tomorrow. I swear to God, she sounds like a stalker! O_o But I'm not entirely convinced that's the best course of action... Your wife is coming across as a little nutso. Like I said, scary as hell.
But... Goddammit. We need to get this mess resolved before I wake up with my spleen missing. Or liver, as the case may be.
You sure she's not related to Hannibal Lecter?
x_x
*hugs back*
B
From: ckent71@hotmail.com
To: dark_nit01@gmail.com
Subject: Re: The insanity continues...
Sent: Saturday, September 15, 2007 1:14 AM CEST
Bruce,
O_O!!!!!! Um... Holy cow. I really, really didn't know she had this kind of forethought about all this. I think... I think we all had better sit down and talk about this. In person. We don't have to come to Gotham. Wherever. It doesn't matter. You pick the place. Either way, I'll probably see you in another day or so.
I'm gonna try to get some sleep, since our flight leaves in about 5 hours.
Good night,
Clark
From: dark_nit01@gmail.com
To: kitten_whip07@gmail.com
Subject: About this weekend...
Sent: Friday, September 14, 2007 7:33 PM EDT
S,
I've got to take a rain check on our plans for this weekend. I'm... not sure when, or IF I'll be able to reschedule. Something huge has come up.
I'll get in touch with you later and we'll chat over breakfast, ok?
B
Txt Msg
From: dark_nit01@gmail.com
To: llane2000@ThePlanet.com/mobile
Subject: OK
Sent: Friday, September 14, 2007 7:38 PM EDT
Lois - See you and Clark in Gotham
B
Fandom: DCU
Characters/Pairings: Clark/Lois, Clark/Bruce, mentions of Bruce/Selina
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,133
Summary: The situation escalates as Clark learns about Lois's email to Bruce.
Disclaimer: DC and WB own it all. I own nothing. Darnit.
Author's Note: Follows A Letter to Bruce and Bruce's Reply, etc.... Future installments of this series will be in regular fic format.... and will likely have a higher rating. ^_~
Assorted Emails: The Insanity Continues
From: dark_nit01@gmail.com
To: ckent71@hotmail.com
Subject: This is insane
Sent: Friday, September 14, 2007 5:58 PM EDT
Clark,
Got an email from Lois. It's a good thing I'm rested, or else I'd be ranting to you again. Looks like she's got some interesting ideas about us - none of which I'm particularly enthused ab-- scratch that. Your wife makes a compelling case. (and did you know that woman curses like a sailor? She makes me look like a saint!) On one hand, I'd like to tell you both to got to hell and tell *you* to stay the hell away from me, but... Goddammit, Clark, what the hell gives you and Lois the right to go making these kinds of decisions about me!?! x_x I've managed to get by just fine with you two married. Have a pretty good thing going on the side with Selina - yes, it's the fucking whip, ok!? - and I'm otherwise doing fine by myself. I didn't ask for you two to just swoop in and start messing with things.
...
Please tell me you knew what she was up to.
Oh, dammit, now that I look at your emails again... you had no idea, did you? Jesus fucking Christ, Clark! >_< What the hell is Lois *doing* anyway!?! Do you know she threatened me? Threatened to rip out my spleen if I made you cry again.
What the hell were you CRYING for!?! O_O It's not like I called you names. Shit. Alright. Fine. I'm sorry I came across so harshly, ok? Just... don't get Lois pissed at me again. *I* didn't start this mess. You're the one that emailed ME, remember?
Oh, and for the record, how the hell does Lois know about what happened in the Cave? Aside from whatever you told her today. She acted like she had better resources than Babs. Which is downright scary.
Also for the record: Yes, you hurt me. A lot. Why the hell do you think you can't read me sometimes? It's because I *don't want you to*! x_x How else am I supposed to keep my goddamn distance, huh? Do you have any fucking idea how hard it is to focus with you around? I CAN'T!!! Or at least, I *couldn't*. Thought I had moved past all that shit years ago. Hmph.
Gotta run. Later.
B
From: ckent71@hotmail.com
To: dark_nit01@gmail.com
Subject: Re: This is insane
Sent: Saturday, September 15, 2007 12:26 AM CEST
Bruce,
Um... I really don't know what to say about Lois. This afternoon didn't go quite how I thought it would. I told her about our past - brief as it was - and she sort of had a nuclear meltdown. That much I'd expected... but then she started ranting about eating your liver for breakfast for hurting me. I didn't have any idea what she meant until I got your email. I... didn't know she heard me.
Dammit, I'm sorry, Bruce. Yeah, you were pretty harsh in your first email. And that hurt. I didn't, um, expect you to just rip my head off, okay? But there it is, my big secret. O_o Contrary to popular belief, I'm not made of steel.
Just... thank you for apologizing. I know you think it's just some flippant way to get past the awkwardness, but that does mean a lot to me.
About Lois's “ideas” about us, I'm not completely sure what you mean. Is there something going on that I don't know about? What exactly did she say to you that has you freaking out? And really, I have no idea how she could know anything more about what happened than what I told her - which was precious little. I didn't think it would be appropriate to list all the sordid details about what you did to me that night. But then... considering her reaction to the De Sade Museum, I'm not all that sure she wouldn't have wanted to hear it. O_O Um... seriously, what did she tell you?
::is confused::
*hugs*
Clark
PS - I am so sorry I hurt you. I really had no idea.
From: dark_nit01@gmail.com
To: ckent71@hotmail.com
Subject: The insanity continues...
Sent: Friday, September 14, 2007 6:47 PM EDT
Wait... you still don't know? For the love of God, Clark... O_o Lois apparently took you to the De Sade Museum because “that place has [*me*] written all over it.” She's TRYING TO HOOK US UP!!!! X_X Which is quite possibly the most disturbing thing she has ever done. She wants to *share* you with me.
How does that make sense, Clark? How can she possibly want to do that? Yeah, like I said, she makes a compelling case, complete with YOUR tears as proof that we belong together (???) and tabloid speculation about the “World's fucking Finest” (her words) being an item anyway. She might as well have drawn a freaking chart. >_<
So what the hell are we going to do about this? Lois has this crazy idea that you and she are going to come to Gotham after you get back to Metropolis tomorrow. I swear to God, she sounds like a stalker! O_o But I'm not entirely convinced that's the best course of action... Your wife is coming across as a little nutso. Like I said, scary as hell.
But... Goddammit. We need to get this mess resolved before I wake up with my spleen missing. Or liver, as the case may be.
You sure she's not related to Hannibal Lecter?
x_x
*hugs back*
B
From: ckent71@hotmail.com
To: dark_nit01@gmail.com
Subject: Re: The insanity continues...
Sent: Saturday, September 15, 2007 1:14 AM CEST
Bruce,
O_O!!!!!! Um... Holy cow. I really, really didn't know she had this kind of forethought about all this. I think... I think we all had better sit down and talk about this. In person. We don't have to come to Gotham. Wherever. It doesn't matter. You pick the place. Either way, I'll probably see you in another day or so.
I'm gonna try to get some sleep, since our flight leaves in about 5 hours.
Good night,
Clark
From: dark_nit01@gmail.com
To: kitten_whip07@gmail.com
Subject: About this weekend...
Sent: Friday, September 14, 2007 7:33 PM EDT
S,
I've got to take a rain check on our plans for this weekend. I'm... not sure when, or IF I'll be able to reschedule. Something huge has come up.
I'll get in touch with you later and we'll chat over breakfast, ok?
B
Txt Msg
From: dark_nit01@gmail.com
To: llane2000@ThePlanet.com/mobile
Subject: OK
Sent: Friday, September 14, 2007 7:38 PM EDT
Lois - See you and Clark in Gotham
B