12 slaps for Christmas - Chapter 3 - Having fun
Title: 12 slaps for Christmas
Author: SA3466996
Rating: PG-13, T
Category: Humour, general.
Genre: Gen.
Pairing: None.
Character: Gibbs, DiNozzo, Abby, Team. (Exaggerated characters, OOC)
Summary: Abby gets festive, the team back her up... Gibbs gets wound up. Poor Tony. A song, a slap, and a slice of silliness. Set in Season 5 around Christmas.
Spoilers: None.
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: NCIS characters belong to Bellisario, CBS and Paramount. No copyright infringement intended.
Chapter 3 - Having fun
It was Abby who spoke first.
“Boss man?”
Tony looked at his boss. Gibbs was sitting now... the earlier alpha male power display having achieved its desired effect.
“That’s enough festivity Abby.”
“Gibbs... you can’t stop now...” she pleaded. “We’re almost half way through... Tony needs a gift from you.”
“Yeah, come on Boss... you wanted this earlier... don’t you want to give me a gift.” He knew he was baiting Gibbs and he knew what would happen, but they needed this... all of them.
Abby giggled.
“Abby, the only gift Tony will be getting from me... if he doesn’t shut up ...” Gibbs shot a warning in his direction, “is a new assignment. One involving a lengthy period working down in records... silently.”
“That doesn’t work Boss.” He ignored the warning and braced himself, “Too many words... and it’s a long one... you know... five... go-old... rings.”
The hardened stare gripped him for a brief moment before he managed to speak.
“Thank you boss!” He turned to the others and smiled, “I know what number five is.” He began to sing.
“On the fifth day of Christmas the boss man gave to me...five d-e-ath stares...”
“Four copies of ‘Deep Six’... three Caf-Pows... two cups of coffee... and a slap for acting not unlike Tony,” Tony, McGee, Abby and Ziva chorused.
No one slapped him. He looked around. Gibbs wasn’t behind him. Gibbs was sat at his desk. Gibbs was watching him... staring at him... waiting for him... he knew what he had to do. Resigned, and with a deep sigh, he slapped the back of his own head.
Smack.
He winced. Gibbs nodded in appreciation. Tony saw the tiny smirk appear at the corner of Gibbs’s mouth and the warmth return in his blue eyes. He’d got the permission he needed to continue.
“Next.”
“Could a curious Medical Examiner join in your little soiree?” Ducky entered the squad room. He was closely followed by Palmer who carried several large bags brimming with gifts.
“Ducky!” Abby squealed.
“What you got for me Duck?”
“Jethro... you really are very impatient. You will have to wait until...”
“The case Duck.”
“Nothing new Jethro... just the gifts I’m...”
Gibbs smirked. “Got one for DiNozzo?”
Ziva snorted and Abby collapsed in a fit of giggles. McGee filled Ducky and Palmer in.
“Oh... that’s not nice,” Ducky exclaimed. “My dear boy... what are they doing to you?”
“He doesn’t mind... do you, DiNozzo.”
“No Boss,” Tony replied, rubbing the back of his head in a vain attempt to elicit more sympathy from Ducky. “Don’t mind at all.”
The truth was, he didn’t mind. He was enjoying the attention but even better than that... he was, and they were, having fun.
“So... Ducky, what gift do you want Gibbs to give you for Christmas?” Abby asked.
“My dear Abigail, Jethro is not really a Christmas gift giving person.”
“You don’t give Ducky gifts?!” Abby shrieked, “Tony I can understand. He’s been naughty...”
Tony stood open-mouthed in amazement. McGee grinned.
“...but Ducky... he’s never... you two... you’ve... you’ve been friends... like... forever.”
“Abigail, I did not say that Jethro does not give me gifts. In fact he usually gives me lots of gifts throughout the year.”
“Oh... that’s so sweet.” Abby skipped over to behind Gibbs’s chair, flung her arms around the seated boss man’s shoulders and squeezed. “I knew you could never be Mr Scrooge.”
“Abby!” Gibbs said exasperatedly.
“What does he usually give you Ducky?” Ziva asked.
Ducky thought for a moment and then answered, “Well usually, my dear, it’s a dead body... sometimes a leg... occasionally a head.”
Gibbs sniggered and Abby broke off the squeeze to slap him on his left arm. Gibbs flinched and looked at her.
“Santa won’t visit when you’ve been naughty,” she said, wagging a finger at him.
Ziva erupted into fits of laughter. McGee openly chuckled, and Tony wiped the smile off his face when he caught sight of the stare Gibbs was giving him.
“Six... dead... bodies... DiNozzo.”
“Gotcha Boss.”
Abby made her way towards Tony and, standing shoulder to pigtail, they began to sing... one by one the others joined in... all except Gibbs.
“On the sixth day of Christmas the boss man gave to me...six dead bodies...five d-e-ath stares...four copies of ‘Deep Six’... three Caf-Pows... two cups of coffee... and... a slap for acting not unlike Tony,” they all chorused.
“Abigail... I can’t reach... would you mind terribly if I asked you to...”
“My pleasure Ducky.”
Smack.
“Oumph!” Tony cried, hunching his shoulders.
Hey... that had been hard. He opened his mouth about to protest when he caught sight of the smirk from beneath Abby’s darkened eyes. It was that same look he’d seen a short while ago. It was the look that had inspired the mischief in him earlier. It was the look that now told him you’d wanted this, you’d known the consequences... live with it. He closed his mouth and paralleled her smirk, “Thanks Abs.”
“Jimmy next,” she said grinning wildly.
He suddenly realised... this was payback for when he’d teased her earlier. Sneaky little...
“No... please... not me...” Palmer pleaded. “Doctor Mallard... I don’t... I don’t feel well... may I...”
“What’s wrong now Mr Palmer... upset stomach again?” Ducky sighed. “Your stomach...” he stopped mid sentence... an impish grin began to form on his face. He cleared his throat and began. “On the seventh day of Christmas the boss man gave to me... seven upset stomachs...”
“Six dead bodies... five d-e-ath stares... four copies of ‘Deep Six’... three Caf-Pows... two cups of coffee... and... a slap for acting not unlike Tony,” they all chorused.
Everyone stared at Palmer.
Palmer looked at Tony.
Tony stared at Palmer.
Palmer looked at Gibbs.
Gibbs glared at Palmer.
Palmer didn’t know what to do.
“Oh for Paul’s sake. I’ll do it.”
Whack.
“Oumph!”
“It’s Pete!” Tony said through gritted teeth, “For Pete’s sake... Ziva.”
Ziva turned, threatening Tony with another slap.
He backed off. “Whose turn is it next?” Tony said, screwing his eyes tight and vigorously rubbing the back of his head.
“I believe it is mine... Tony,” the sly pout oozed as she looked him up and down... her body language informing him that he was not going to enjoy this as much as she was.
“SIG-Sauer...” Ziva barked. “It was one of the first things Gibbs gave to me when I joined NCIS. It is okay... for the song?”
They all woofed at once. “Sure.” “No problem Ziva.” “Fits like a dream.”
“On the eighth day of Christmas the boss man gave to me... eight SIG-Sauers... seven upset stomachs... six dead bodies... five d-e-ath stares... four copies of ‘Deep Six’... three Caf-Pows... two cups of coffee... and... a slap for acting not unlike Tony,” they all chorused.
He braced himself... praying he wouldn’t flinch in front of her.
TBC...
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A/N: 8 down, 4 to go.
McColl was feeling sorry for SA3. He knew SA3 could be annoying, he never knew when to stop and he always seemed to be putting his foot in it... but the boss had been unusually forthcoming with head slaps in the run up to Christmas and to top it off, the boss had just smashed his new cell to pieces. SA3 was unusually quiet. That was never good, and McColl felt guilty. He tried to lighten the mood in the office.
“So... SA3, you done all your Christmas shopping?”
“Nope,” SA3 clipped.
“Much more to do?” McColleague pressed.
“Nope.”
McColl ignored the second clipped response and pushed further. “Who’s left on your list?”
He saw the look of smouldering anger on SA3’s face and decided to back off. Too late.
“Well,” SA3 looked up and over to McColleague, “there’s just one... I’ve already got him a gift but I really need to get him another one.”
“Two gifts... I’m sure one will be fine SA3. I mean, who would say ‘no’ to two gifts? I wouldn’t, but then I’d also be really pleased to get just one.”
“Really?” SA3 asked, the anger dissolving, “You’d be happy with just one?”
“Sure.”
“That’s great McColl... thanks.”
McColleague watched as SA3 visibly relaxed and then picked up the pieces of mangled cell from his desk, walked over to McColleague and handed them to him.
“Merry Christmas, McColleague.”
McColleague stared open mouthed as SA3 grinned and patted his shoulder.
TBC...
Chapter 4 - Tim vs Tony