Parenting For Dummies - Chapter 9
Title: Parenting For Dummies
Fandom(s) : U-KISS
Pairing(s): KeMaru and (real) brotherly love for the rest
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Genre: AU, IDEK. Reality? :D
Warnings: Awful!English, MPREG.
Author's Notes: HERE’S MY KEMARU FAMILY FIC, MUAHAHAHAH. Didn't check for mistakes, just posting as it is XD. Have fun?
Prologue :: Chapter 1 Clean Ver. / Chapter 1 Dirty Ver. :: Chapter 2 :: Chapter 3 :: Chapter 4 :: Chapter 5 :: Chapter 6
Chapter 7 :: Chapter 8
To pacify the big baby, Kibum stayed at home the next day and helped out wherever he could. It had been two hours since they woke up and Kevin still wasn’t talking to him.
“Baby, you’re still angry?” Kibum sighed. “I already said fine, you can dress him up till he turns three.”
“Well, I decided I want it longer, till he turns five.” Kevin said justifiedly, preparing breakfast and deliberately not making Kibum’s share.
Kibum wanted to bang his head into the nearest wall. And so he did.
“DAMN IT, PAIN!” Kibum yelled and clutched his head in agony, then falling to the floor and writhed in pain.
Kevin couldn’t help but laugh at his husband. “Stupid, don’t do that again.”
Wrapping Kibum’s head with his arms, Kevin gently rubbed the spot he thought was hurt with his palm. He went to get some ointment before returning and applying it on Kibum’s head.
“Okay. Dress him up till he turns five. Fine.” Kibum winced, more because his son was going to look like a daughter for five years than the brain concussion he might have gotten himself. Whatever, currently, his relationship with his wife was more important than the trauma Alexander will have later in life. That can be solved somehow.
Hopefully.
“Really?” Kevin looked expectantly at Kibum. “Honey, really?”
“Yes, yes. If it makes you that happy.” Kibum sighed, head still hurting from the impact.
“Oh, honey! I love you so much!” Kevin squealed and grabbed both sides of Kibum’s face, pulling him in for a kiss. “It makes me really, really, really, really, really happy! I need to tell Xander the good news!”
Kibum had a small smile. It was a sacrifice, Alexander wouldn’t mind himself being the sacrificial being if it meant a happy family in exchange.
Hopefully.
-
Kibum was dancing along with a certain girl group’s song playing, holding Alexander’s hands and moving it along with how the girls on television were doing it. Placing Alexander on his laps, he rocked Alexander from side to side.
“Kibummie-hyung, having fun?” Kevin peeked out from the kitchen with his pretty pink apron. He clapped his hands together as he saw Alexander staring at the screen. “Wow! Xander’s amazing. Go Xander! Our shining superstar!”
“It’s quite fun actually.” Kibum laughed sheepishly, being the one who doubted how fun staying at home with a literally incoherent baby. “Xander’s good, amazingly! He sings well too!”
Alexander seems to be a genius. As if understanding Kibum again, he sang with the tune (quite out of tune actually) in his own language.
“Blueh ee yey mleen ahhhhhhh!”
Being supportive parents that they are, Kevin and Kibum cheered loudly, all in all having a very cheerful atmosphere.
“Yay for Xander!” Kevin raised his hands and clapped them above his head. He walked back into the kitchen and started holding the knife to cut the ingredients for their (Kevin and Kibum’s) lunch. Xander’s getting baby formula.
Again.
There was a sudden growl.
“Damn it, argh!” Kibum cursed. He picked Alexander up and placed him on the floor, giving him a pillow for his head. “Kevin, could you come out here for a minute?”
“Honey, I’m busy.” Kevin sounded apologetic. “What’s wrong?”
“Erm...I don’t know, his diapers suddenly feel very heavy.” Kibum shouted to let Kevin hear his words clearly. Not that it wasn’t clear, the kitchen wasn’t very far from where they were anyway.
“Oh. It’s not wet right? I think he pooed, honey. Change his diapers so he feels more comfortable.” Kevin yelled back. “Diapers are in the toilet, under the sink on the left!”
“Baby, can’t you help me?” Kibum helplessly asked, looking down at Alexander who looked back up with a smile. “You could have told me, I would have brought you to the toilet, little one.”
Alexander grinned wider. “Kapoom! Pleh syu buaa!”
“...” Kibum raised his eyebrow. “Did you do that on purpose?”
Kibum swore he saw the little baby shrug.
“...Kevin, are you sure you trust that I’m up to this?” Kibum groaned and yelled again.
“Honey, you can do it! I’m cutting carrots. I can’t help you, really.”
-
Kibum found himself staring at a fresh piece of diaper and Alexander.
“Right. How do I get the diapers of you?” Kibum frowned and looked at the fresh piece of diapers. Nope, no instructions.
Alexander kicked the air and furrowed his eyebrows, looking very uncomfortable. There was a smell coming from his bottoms now.
“At times like this, I wished I went to work.” Kibum sighed, whipping out his iPhone and typing in “How to change diapers” in Google’s search bar. He clicked the first link and tried to follow exactly.
“Where’s the sticky tape?” Kibum turned Alexander around, and around, but still couldn’t find it. “Baby, do you know where the sticky tape of the diaper is?”
“I bought the one without the sticky tape, honey. Just pull it down.” Kevin instructed as if he was right beside Kibum.
Kibum did as he was told, greeted by a pretty cute looking piece of human waste. It was really small, since Alexander basically only drink baby formula. He held it in the middle in case it drops halfway on his journey to the dustbin. Crossing the kitchen, he saw Kevin smiled at him.
“You did it, good job! So you already gave Xander new diapers? He’s still younger, if you don’t change immediately, he might get infected.” Kevin said as he minced the pork meat.
Kibum’s face paled, and he ran out after throwing the diaper away, quickly wearing the new diaper for Xander. “Tell me you aren’t infected, or I might just get murdered.”
Alexander didn’t reply, only looking very sad.
“Uh-oh.”
-
Fandom(s) : U-KISS
Pairing(s): KeMaru and (real) brotherly love for the rest
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Genre: AU, IDEK. Reality? :D
Warnings: Awful!English, MPREG.
Author's Notes: HERE’S MY KEMARU FAMILY FIC, MUAHAHAHAH. Didn't check for mistakes, just posting as it is XD. Have fun?
Prologue :: Chapter 1 Clean Ver. / Chapter 1 Dirty Ver. :: Chapter 2 :: Chapter 3 :: Chapter 4 :: Chapter 5 :: Chapter 6
Chapter 7 :: Chapter 8
To pacify the big baby, Kibum stayed at home the next day and helped out wherever he could. It had been two hours since they woke up and Kevin still wasn’t talking to him.
“Baby, you’re still angry?” Kibum sighed. “I already said fine, you can dress him up till he turns three.”
“Well, I decided I want it longer, till he turns five.” Kevin said justifiedly, preparing breakfast and deliberately not making Kibum’s share.
Kibum wanted to bang his head into the nearest wall. And so he did.
“DAMN IT, PAIN!” Kibum yelled and clutched his head in agony, then falling to the floor and writhed in pain.
Kevin couldn’t help but laugh at his husband. “Stupid, don’t do that again.”
Wrapping Kibum’s head with his arms, Kevin gently rubbed the spot he thought was hurt with his palm. He went to get some ointment before returning and applying it on Kibum’s head.
“Okay. Dress him up till he turns five. Fine.” Kibum winced, more because his son was going to look like a daughter for five years than the brain concussion he might have gotten himself. Whatever, currently, his relationship with his wife was more important than the trauma Alexander will have later in life. That can be solved somehow.
Hopefully.
“Really?” Kevin looked expectantly at Kibum. “Honey, really?”
“Yes, yes. If it makes you that happy.” Kibum sighed, head still hurting from the impact.
“Oh, honey! I love you so much!” Kevin squealed and grabbed both sides of Kibum’s face, pulling him in for a kiss. “It makes me really, really, really, really, really happy! I need to tell Xander the good news!”
Kibum had a small smile. It was a sacrifice, Alexander wouldn’t mind himself being the sacrificial being if it meant a happy family in exchange.
Hopefully.
-
Kibum was dancing along with a certain girl group’s song playing, holding Alexander’s hands and moving it along with how the girls on television were doing it. Placing Alexander on his laps, he rocked Alexander from side to side.
“Kibummie-hyung, having fun?” Kevin peeked out from the kitchen with his pretty pink apron. He clapped his hands together as he saw Alexander staring at the screen. “Wow! Xander’s amazing. Go Xander! Our shining superstar!”
“It’s quite fun actually.” Kibum laughed sheepishly, being the one who doubted how fun staying at home with a literally incoherent baby. “Xander’s good, amazingly! He sings well too!”
Alexander seems to be a genius. As if understanding Kibum again, he sang with the tune (quite out of tune actually) in his own language.
“Blueh ee yey mleen ahhhhhhh!”
Being supportive parents that they are, Kevin and Kibum cheered loudly, all in all having a very cheerful atmosphere.
“Yay for Xander!” Kevin raised his hands and clapped them above his head. He walked back into the kitchen and started holding the knife to cut the ingredients for their (Kevin and Kibum’s) lunch. Xander’s getting baby formula.
Again.
There was a sudden growl.
“Damn it, argh!” Kibum cursed. He picked Alexander up and placed him on the floor, giving him a pillow for his head. “Kevin, could you come out here for a minute?”
“Honey, I’m busy.” Kevin sounded apologetic. “What’s wrong?”
“Erm...I don’t know, his diapers suddenly feel very heavy.” Kibum shouted to let Kevin hear his words clearly. Not that it wasn’t clear, the kitchen wasn’t very far from where they were anyway.
“Oh. It’s not wet right? I think he pooed, honey. Change his diapers so he feels more comfortable.” Kevin yelled back. “Diapers are in the toilet, under the sink on the left!”
“Baby, can’t you help me?” Kibum helplessly asked, looking down at Alexander who looked back up with a smile. “You could have told me, I would have brought you to the toilet, little one.”
Alexander grinned wider. “Kapoom! Pleh syu buaa!”
“...” Kibum raised his eyebrow. “Did you do that on purpose?”
Kibum swore he saw the little baby shrug.
“...Kevin, are you sure you trust that I’m up to this?” Kibum groaned and yelled again.
“Honey, you can do it! I’m cutting carrots. I can’t help you, really.”
-
Kibum found himself staring at a fresh piece of diaper and Alexander.
“Right. How do I get the diapers of you?” Kibum frowned and looked at the fresh piece of diapers. Nope, no instructions.
Alexander kicked the air and furrowed his eyebrows, looking very uncomfortable. There was a smell coming from his bottoms now.
“At times like this, I wished I went to work.” Kibum sighed, whipping out his iPhone and typing in “How to change diapers” in Google’s search bar. He clicked the first link and tried to follow exactly.
“Where’s the sticky tape?” Kibum turned Alexander around, and around, but still couldn’t find it. “Baby, do you know where the sticky tape of the diaper is?”
“I bought the one without the sticky tape, honey. Just pull it down.” Kevin instructed as if he was right beside Kibum.
Kibum did as he was told, greeted by a pretty cute looking piece of human waste. It was really small, since Alexander basically only drink baby formula. He held it in the middle in case it drops halfway on his journey to the dustbin. Crossing the kitchen, he saw Kevin smiled at him.
“You did it, good job! So you already gave Xander new diapers? He’s still younger, if you don’t change immediately, he might get infected.” Kevin said as he minced the pork meat.
Kibum’s face paled, and he ran out after throwing the diaper away, quickly wearing the new diaper for Xander. “Tell me you aren’t infected, or I might just get murdered.”
Alexander didn’t reply, only looking very sad.
“Uh-oh.”
-