Caution: Morbid post to follow...

[s1obhan]

I have a friend who died suddenly two years ago. Immediately after his death, his Facebook profile turned into an area where people went to announce his funeral arrangements, to express to him how much he's missed, and even to wish him a happy birthday every year. On occasion, I'll visit his profile to see what people have recently written on his

Comments

[pgnome]

This has actually been in my head quite a bit lately as well. We're coming up on the year anniversary of Nick's death which raises some questions- his cell phone bill was paid up through August of this year. I'll admit, I still call occasionally to hear his voice, or even leave him a message and the idea that I won't be able to hear him after this month is terrifying. His obituary was posted online and people could sign the guestbook, but that goes away on the 1 year mark, unless someone pays $80 for it to be available forever. It just makes me sad- I left my email on there and several people who didn't know what had happened or found out late contacted me. When the guestbook goes away, will these people just be left without a way to find out what happened

[s1obhan]

I totally agree with you. I think it really depends on the person who is grieving and what they are comfortable with. And just because these options are out there doesn't mean you have to use them or that your grieving will pass more quickly because of them. I think it's just another way to do what we've been doing all along in these situations (which actually leads to waysofseeing's comment below

[waysofseeing]

There was a horrific accident a few blocks away from my house last winter. A sixteen-year-old driver lost control of her car as she tried to make a left turn at an intersection, pinning a passing jogger into a traffic light pole. The jogger died instantly.

Not long after the rescue and city people finished cleaning up the carnage, a makeshift memorial appeared next to the accident site. It was filled with flowers, jogging shoes, pictures and mementos, WSU gear (the jogger was a Coug), and more. Some people wrote letters. Some just signed their names. Neighbors and passers-by still stop by the memorial once in awhile to pay their respects.

That, for me, is what an Internet memorial is for. It's the online version of a very, very old tradition: a way to remember, and pay your respects, with others from your community - whether your community is a group of local friends or a bunch of far-flung contacts from around the world. I think the online memorial is, or at least can be, a very good thing.

I'm so sorry about your friend.

[s1obhan]

Yes, exactly. I think you've made a great parallel. People are using the Internet (and as pgnome pointed out, cell phones, too) to do the same things we've done all along. I think it's interesting to see both the similarities and the differences in these behaviors as technology evolves. (See comment responding to pgnome.)