Ban/Kazuki Double Drabble No. 3
When Ban dreams, he forgets… who he is, where he is, whom he’s with, why things are the way they are. He forgets time and space and logic, wealth and vice and pride, and all the other things he finds himself hiding behind, consciously or otherwise. He forgets rules and restrictions and taboo, the things that hold him back in real life - pretensions, illusions of virtue, configurations of sanctified loose ends. He forgets love and friendship and everything in between and such thoughts as this is not right and it’s too fucking stupid and he’s not worth it. When Ban dreams, he loses all reservations and just lets himself go, lets himself feel. When Ban dreams, he forgets what it’s like to hate. When Ban dreams, he forgets what it’s like to lie to himself. When Ban dreams, he realizes…
Ban is never really alone in his dreams. There are always some things - fleeting touches, intimate caresses, skin on skin, another’s heartbeat near his own, brown silk splayed upon his chest - reminding him of warmth and comfort and home and contentment. Too fucking surreal. But then…
A whisper, too faint, too weak, a not-quite memory…
Ban-kun… You… I...
Ban wakes up to the feeling of another’s arms around him, blond hair obscuring his vision. The sunlight filtering through the window is warm against his skin.
And he remembers…
Damn you, Fuuchouin! Damn you!
When Ban dreams, he forgets.
Kazuki’s voice is soft and sweet against his ear.
When Ban wakes, he remembers.
Ban-kun… You… I…
Aishiteru.
He wishes he never does.
Ban is never really alone in his dreams. There are always some things - fleeting touches, intimate caresses, skin on skin, another’s heartbeat near his own, brown silk splayed upon his chest - reminding him of warmth and comfort and home and contentment. Too fucking surreal. But then…
A whisper, too faint, too weak, a not-quite memory…
Ban-kun… You… I...
Ban wakes up to the feeling of another’s arms around him, blond hair obscuring his vision. The sunlight filtering through the window is warm against his skin.
And he remembers…
Damn you, Fuuchouin! Damn you!
When Ban dreams, he forgets.
Kazuki’s voice is soft and sweet against his ear.
When Ban wakes, he remembers.
Ban-kun… You… I…
Aishiteru.
He wishes he never does.