Rose Deli sample strips!

[ryuko_midori]

I have been working hard on stuff recently, which is why there hasn't been that many updates for Green Avenger... I promised some accountabili-buddies I'd finish up 8 strips for a short not-for-posting test storyline along with a couple more. Here they are in the order I did them in! Any crit is welcome. I especially need hints on inking and jokes

Comments

[sissel]

My immediate thought was that the characters sound too alike. Maybe keep a list of speech habits different characters have? In just ten strips, there are two characters who use "or something", a few of them use "like"...in the third strip the guy uses "oh" a lot so I thought that may've been his thing, but in the same strip, another character uses it (two other characters start their sentences with "oh" in later strips too).

My second thought was that...well, they all sound a lot like you. I know it can be hard to take your own voice out of your characters but you should try being more mindful about that.

[sissel]

On the artistic end, I don't think it's necessary to share each facial wrinkle. Wrinkles alone are enough to add definition to faces -- adding shading on top of that can make them look too busy. The more simplified you can keep your characters' faces, the better (and the more impact you can get when you change their facial expressions). Plus you can save a lot of time this way.

[ryuko_midori]

Do you think I should take shading out altogether or just get rid of the shading on the faces? It would certainly save a whole lot of time... I worry if I take out the shading from the bodies they'd pop less in the scene. I feel like my inking is a little too weak to go without shading completely.

[sissel]

In all honesty I think you should take out the shading altogether because your inking is much stronger than your shading.

[sockkiah]

I loled irl at the Salute Your Shorts one! I might've for some of the others too, but the Salute Your Shorts one was the one I forgot about until I saw it again.

[bluealoe]

DUCKTALES!!!

I think the art style is good. It's clean and simple without being boring, and it's a million times better than I could do.

I agree about the characters sounding alike. The main character (Brittany?) is distinguishable, but I'm having a hard time with the other characters.

Also, "we've got a good job"...I'm assuming we'll get more details later, but in these strips it doesn't really seem like they're working at all. Maybe be a bit clearer on the settling/occupations?

I can't wait to see the finished product. :)

[goldfishhead]

You know I think these are hillarious, so I'll move on from that.

Here and there the hands are bad enough that it actually distracts me. But I think your inking is improving. Also, while I love a lot of the expressions (wrinkles are fun) sometimes the people get a bit crosseyed, which is kinda off.

Personally, I like the shading on the faces. To me it adds depth and makes them stand out more. Maybe, if you think the faces are getting too cluttered,you could just thin the linework down a bit? I actually like your choice of which wrinkles to put in.