Only Yesterday
Author: ryosukekoibito
Pairing: none
Rating: um...PG-13, I think.
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone.
Summary: The last time Yamada had seen Keito was yesterday...
It was quite literally yesterday the last time I saw you. You smiled and waved at me, promising to work harder, and apologizing for screwing up so much during rehearsal, before leaving with Yuto, an arm over his shoulder, as usual.
Yesterday you were clumsy, as always. You ran into a couple of people, a wall, and a door. You tripped over air in practice, and nearly fell on your face while trying to jump over Chinen (who was impersonating Ryutaro's hamster). You had been getting clumsier and clumsier recently, and you were now just as bad now as you were a few years ago, when I first met you. Not that anyone was really surprised; you were just like that.
Yesterday you were quiet, as usual. The rest of us always talk so much, you probably couldn't get a word in anyway. You sat in silence, listening to our conversation, and sometimes laughing, sticking close to Yuto, who would occasionally voice a thought you had. Your telepathic friendship amazing me, as it did every time it was displayed, in your little moments. In your silence you were our comfort. Our calm in the scramble of bright and showy personalities. You silently kept us sane...by not being noticed, as usual.
Yesterday you played your guitar, your hair pulled into a little ponytail, courtesy of Yuto. You strummed quietly, as everyone chattered on, immersing yourself in the sounds. I listened secretly, as was normal. You were working on a new song, and it sounded like you had added onto it the night before. As usual, the new notes flowed well, soft like the others, and a bit sad. The song would be a good one. You were working hard on it, at your own pace, as was normal for you.
Yesterday I got a call, waking me in the night, at 23:47, from our manager, informing me that you were in the hospital, for reasons unknown. Confused and half awake, I asked how serious it was, as I began pulling on jeans. The answer made me go faster.
Today, 00:27 I burst into the hospital, out of breath and shaking. A nurse tells me to hush, and I am already finding myself being met by Daiki and Hikaru, who had beaten me there; the only other people in the waiting room this late at night. They pull me into a chair, and tell me they don't know anything either; the doctors won't say anything, and besides...you were perfectly normal yesterday. One by one the rest of us arrive, some of us still in pajamas, all with unanswered questions. Nothing like this had ever happened before. Besides, you were a cautious person. No one expected you to go to the hospital.
Today, 3:52 A nurse walks in, her eyes on us, and I know that we finally will get the answers to our questions. 4:14, and I all wish our questions had never been answered. My brain is racing, going through facts. There was something wrong with your heart. After that I got confused. Phrases like 'collapsed suddenly' and 'emergency surgery' crashed into each other, and I stood there numb, outside of the door to a cold, heavy room, as the nurse apologized. Standing behind me, Yuto screamed, the sound inhuman. Ryutaro steps forward, through the doorway, toward the thing in the middle of the room, and a couple of us follow him.
Today I find myself moving without realizing it, my hand reaching out, pulling back the sheet, and allowing myself to see you properly. You are pale and limp, your shy handsome face looking less gentle than it usually did, a slight frown on your lips, in what could be seen as your last silent apology. Your last of thousands. My body is shaking, uncontrollable tremors forcing me to the floor, as sounds of grief fill my ears.
Yesterday you smiled at me, and laughed with me, and hid your secret from me, kept me in blissful unawareness. Today, you don't smile, or laugh. Today you throw your pain and struggle into my face, silent, as always. Today Yuto doesn't voice your thoughts. Today you don't trip or stumble, or run into people, as you did yesterday. Today you don't apologize for anything, or calm anyone, as we cried and yelled and cursed and pleaded. Today, you were announced dead.
It was only yesterday, quite literally yesterday, when you were invincible, in your own, silent way. Now, you remain silent. Forever.