"You don't know me..."

[ryenna]

The other day I was awoken from a nap to answer the phone, only to find that the "caller" wasactually a recorded message from the local Baptist church, trying to convert me and get me to come to their services

Comments

[earthphoenix]

Oh, Christians, I’ve herd of you, you’re the guys who promote cannibalism.

Satan says I shouldn’t.

Satan says I should.

(But what I usually say is, "No thank you." - not really smart - but it ends things on a nice note, if that's what you want.)

[beccadg]

Not sure it's witty, but maybe, "I'm a heretic. If it doesn't come from the Gospels of Mary, Thomas, or Nicodemus I'm not interested."

[butterpat]

We have caller ID and don't answer unless it's a number we recognize - everything else we screen, and sometimes we screen people we _do_ recognize.

In religious cases (mine is usually door to door solicitors) I say "I'm very comfortable with my relationship, or lack thereof, with your god, thank you very much. I can get my husband who can recite entire books of the bible to you, if you want, but I assure you, it isn't what you're looking for from this house. Good day." Then I shut the door.

[paracoon]

(Use your best "stoned"/Keanu Reeves voice):

"Oh, dude... I'm *way* too high to be switching long distance companies right now..."

"Dude" is appropriate regardless of the caller's actual gender. And long distance service works from a certain point of view :)

Also, helpful hint for real life JW's-

All you need to tell them is "I'm sorry, I've been disfellowshipped." They will immediately shut up, turn around, and skitter away quickly. Likely they will never come back.

Someone who has been disfellowshipped is someone who has left the JW cult, either voluntarily or otherwise. Members in good standing are not permitted to speak with former JW's. Because, you know, people who have come out the other side might tell them about how it's a mind-control scam.