Fic Request Fulfilled for daysandweeks

[lissomelle]

Title: The Waiting Game
Author: lunalovepotter
Beta: the_vixxmeister
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 2783
Summary: Hermione is hoping for Ron to ask her out for Valentine’s Day, and is beginning to despair that he will ever do it.
Warnings: Fluff! And a nice long kiss.
Disclaimer: Characters are the property of J.K. Rowling, et. al. No copyright infringement intended.
Author's

Comments

[midnight_birth]

Wonderfully written!! The language, the vocabulary and the flow of the story overall were very balanced and well-put together.

I love the way you wrote the characters. So very in character!! Ginny was exactly as I always imagined her!!! The broomstick up the arse comment made me crack up a whole lot. Ron was absolutely brilliantly written. Messy, fumbling, and awkward. And Hermione with her always on-going, slightly snarky and always analyzing dialog!

She’d all but written across her forehead in black ink that she fancied him, but still he made no move to reciprocate. --> I loved this line!! Very funny and very true!! In fact, I think if she had written that she fancied him across her forehead, he would still be beating around the bush. ;) But that's what makes him so wonderfully Ron that I adore.

Harry’s cheeks flushed, and his chest seemed to swell, like a proud rooster. --> That made me crack up. Such a Hermione thing to think!! And, in all delicious irony, boys do look like roosters when they do that. I've observed it firt-

[i_am_girlfriday]

I love how you describe their kiss as clumsy. First kisses always make me cringe a bit because they usually aren't very realistic. :)

[luvscharlie]

Sweet story, and I didn't find any SPaG errors. Good job.

[dransinha77]

Oh, I wish that was what really happened in the books...
Very sweet! :)