The One That Should Have Sex But Doesn't || Patrick/Mikey || R
Title - "The One That Should Have Sex But Doesn't"
Author - runthegamut
Pairing - Patrick/Mikey
Rating - R for adult themes
Word Count: 1798
Summary - Pete tries to convince Mikey to seduce Patrick.
Disclaimer - Not real. Never happened. Fake fake fake.
A/N's - Written for the super_bandom fic exchange with the following prompt: Mikey/Patrick + Phoned in Pete - Post-Summer of Like. Pete asks Mikey to seduce Patrick and then leave Speaker phone on.
Pete had been trying to convince Mikey to seduce Patrick since the tour that summer. The first time he’d brought it up, it was seemingly out of left field. They’d been hanging out alone on the My Chem bus playing Xbox when Pete had just blurted it out, not even having the decency to pause the game.
“So you should totally fuck Patrick,” he’d said, his eyes never leaving the screen.
Mikey had jerked his head in Pete’s direction, his controller falling into his lap as onscreen, Pete’s avatar slayed his. “What?” He blinked at Pete from behind his glasses because… what?
“Dude, you guys would be totally hot together. If I can’t be with either of you, you should be with each other,” Pete replied, as if the explanation made complete sense. He reached down and picked Mikey’s controller back up. “I mean, I could be with you guys, and that would be awesome and all, until Jeanae found out about it, cut my dick off, and threw it out of a moving vehicle.”
Mikey begrudgingly took the controller from Pete, still staring at him. “I don’t get it,” he said at last. “You want me to seduce your best friend because you can’t? How does that make any sense?”
“Because,” Pete said with a shrug. “I’m going to watch you two. Masturbation fodder for months.”
Snorting, Mikey rolled his eyes because this was obviously a joke. “Yeah, right,” he mumbled as he restarted the game, but when he glanced over, Pete was looking at him, his face completely serious.
***
When Pete brought it up ten more times over the next two weeks, Mikey gathered that he wasn’t joking.
“You could tell him you need some pointers on bass technique, because obviously I can’t help you there,” Pete suggested. “And then when he’s leaned in over your shoulder? Just turn your head and kiss him. Easy.”
It probably said something about Pete’s power of persuasion or his ability to wear people down that Mikey didn’t even object to the first part of the ‘plan,’ just asked, incredulous, “And if I do that, he’s going to want to fuck me?”
Pete smirked. “Well obviously. Who wouldn’t want to fuck you? I want to fuck you, but I want to keep my dick for future usage. Having a dick is greater than one night with you. Sorry.”
Mikey rolled his eyes and gave a belabored sigh. “And where are you going to be to see all this?” he asked, playing along. Not that he wouldn’t sleep with Patrick. He wasn’t sleeping with anyone else this tour because everyone assumed he was sleeping with Pete. And Patrick was nice, and good looking, and had a lot of energy on stage. The thought had crossed his mind, mostly since Pete had brought it up.
Pete raised his head in thought. “Well, if you did it in the front lounge, I could be in my bunk and if you guys stayed on the right side of the bus, I could probably see enough by pulling back the curtain by my feet,” he mused.
***
Maybe the fact that Mikey had consumed a couple drinks had helped, but that night he’d actually stumbled up to Patrick and said, “So I was wondering if you could help me with a bass line.” He tried to raise his eyebrow suggestively but it probably just looked like he had a facial tick.
Unfortunately, Mikey had failed to notice Ray’s presence at Patrick’s side. “Aw, I can help you, Mikey,” Ray said with a smiled, clamping his hand down on Mikey’s shoulder. “How about tomorrow afternoon?”
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Mikey mumbled as he hung his head and turned to shuffle off, not noticing Patrick watching him go, his eyebrows raised.
***
After the tour, Mikey had assumed Pete would let the subject die, but when Patrick had come out to New York to meet with Gym Class Heroes, Pete texted, “pstump on his way over” and Mikey knew what he was up to. He scrambled to page through his contacts for Pete’s number, wrapping one arm across his chest as he brought his Sidekick to his ear.
“Are you up to what I think you’re up to?” Mikey asked as soon as Pete answered.
Pete’s laugh was high and braying a second before he went completely serious. “Yes. You have to seduce Patrick for me, Mikey. Come on. Put it on speaker phone so I can listen. Dude, I don’t even need to see anything, just wanna hear.”
“Seriously, Pete, you have a problem,” Mikey answered, prepared to hang up when the buzzer in his apartment sounded. “Fuck,” he hissed as he bounded over to the window to check on who was calling. Sure enough, there was Patrick, his fingers pressed into his front pockets as he stood on the front steps of the building, shoulders squared away.
“Yeah, my problem is that you won’t let me listen to you get it on with Patrick. I want to hear what he sounds like. That voice during sex? Come on,” Pete implored as Mikey walked over to buzz Patrick in. “What you don’t think he’s hot? What’s the problem?”
Mikey sighed, his shoulders slumping. “No, I think he’s hot, okay? It’s just kind of weird that you want to listen to me have sex with your singer. Why wouldn’t I just seduce him without you listening in?”
Pete was silent for a moment at that and Mikey actually checked to make sure the call hadn’t disconnected. “Because you love me?” he said at last, voice timid.
There was a knock on Mikey’s door and Mikey muttered, “Fuck,” under his breath before telling Pete, “I’ve gotta go.”
“Please, Mikey?” Pete begged one last time.
Mikey paused before conceding, “Yeah, fine, whatever,” and hitting a button to turn on the speakerphone. “Just be quiet,” he whispered as he set the phone on his end table and went to answer the door.
“Hey,” he greeted Patrick as he pulled the door open and invited Patrick inside. “Pete just told me you were coming. I didn’t even have time to pick up,” he sighed, although the place wasn’t actually that messy since he’d only been home a few weeks and had a housekeeper.
“Aw, yeah, that sounds like Pete,” Patrick chuckled as he stepped in. “He’s kind of lacking in tact sometimes. Invite me to come to your place, forget to tell you I’m coming.” He shrugged and Mikey could have sworn he heard Pete make a squeaking noise through the phone. “Anyway, he just asked me to drop something off for you…” Patrick pulled his bag from his shoulder and began rummaging through it.
Mikey glanced over at his phone and then the couch. “Hey, do you have somewhere to be? You’re welcome to stay for a while and hang out or something. It’s not like we see each other all the time.”
Raising his eyebrows, Patrick’s eyes followed Mikey’s to the couch. “We just spent a few months on tour together,” he reminded Mikey. Before Mikey could respond, Patrick added, “But yeah, I don’t have anything going on til later tonight.”
They moved over to the couch, sitting at opposite ends. Patrick dropped his bag to the floor and glanced around the apartment, nodding his head slightly. “Nice place,” he said at last.
Mikey bit his lip, his knees pressed together as he leaned over, one arm folded in his lap and one hand running up and down the side of his leg. “Thanks,” he answered, glancing around the room as well.
As Mikey tried to think of a reason to get closer to Patrick, he heard Pete’s impatient sigh coming from his phone.
“What was that?” Patrick wondered, his brow furrowed as he looked to Mikey.
“There’s a problem with the air conditioning… thing,” he lied. “They’ve been trying to fix it, but I guess sometimes these things take time,” he grumbled, turning his head toward the phone to make sure Pete understood.
Patrick narrowed his eyes a moment and then shrugged, his expression softening again. “Huh. Weird. Anyway, so I’m supposed to give you this,” he said, rummaging around in his bag again.
Mikey took the opportunity to slide over on the couch until the outside of his thigh was touching the outside of Patrick’s, leaning into his space to look into the bag as well.
“Um,” Patrick said and when Mikey turned his head toward him, their faces were inches from each other, Patrick looking at Mikey with wide eyes.
Before he could give himself the opportunity to think about it, Mikey leaned in and kissed Patrick. Their lips pressed together tentatively at first, but as soon as the initial shock of it wore off, Patrick reached up to cup the back or Mikey’s head, tilting his head to the side before pressing in for another kiss. His lips parted slightly and he ran his tongue between Mikey’s lips, Mikey eagerly opening his mouth and sliding his tongue against Patrick’s.
Clutching the front of Patrick’s shirt, Mikey laid back on the couch and pulled Patrick with him. Patrick chased Mikey’s mouth down, moaning softly as their bodies pressed together. He drew his hips up over Mikey’s, the front of their jeans rubbing together and Mikey broke the kiss as he arched his neck back, gasping at the sensation.
“Oh, fuck yes,” Pete’s voice sounded from the end table and Mikey froze, his eyes wide as he stared up at Patrick.
“Is that…” Patrick raised his head to peer over the arm of the couch, spying Mikey’s Sidekick on the table. He plucked it up and stared at the screen before calmly saying, “Bye Pete,” and hanging up.
“I can explain,” Mikey said as Patrick slowly pushed himself up to a seated position, even though he wasn’t really sure his explanation would be acceptable.
“Pete asked you seduce me?” Patrick asked, nodding his head like he already knew the answer. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”
“Oh,” Mikey said quietly, as he swung his legs off the couch and sat up. He couldn’t help but feel foolish.
“He means well,” Patrick continued, lifting his hat to run a hand underneath it, smoothing over his hair. “He knows I’m not very good at making the first move with guys.”
“Oh?” Mikey raised an eyebrow as he turned his head toward Patrick.
“Yeah. He’s known I’ve had a thing for you since beginning of summer.” Patrick dropped his head before turning his face toward Mikey, his cheeks slightly flushed. “This is his way of trying to get us together.”
Mikey’s stomach fluttered as he grinned at Patrick. “Oh,” he said softly as he leaned in and kissed Patrick once more.
My apologies to the recipient for the abject lack of sex. I wrote a whole bunch of Patrick/Mikey smut for periodbandom and I am, sadly, all sexed out at the moment.
I also wrote "Awake and Unafraid" for onlyknightmare and "Maybe We're a Bliss of Another Kind" for okubyo_kitsune.
Author - runthegamut
Pairing - Patrick/Mikey
Rating - R for adult themes
Word Count: 1798
Summary - Pete tries to convince Mikey to seduce Patrick.
Disclaimer - Not real. Never happened. Fake fake fake.
A/N's - Written for the super_bandom fic exchange with the following prompt: Mikey/Patrick + Phoned in Pete - Post-Summer of Like. Pete asks Mikey to seduce Patrick and then leave Speaker phone on.
Pete had been trying to convince Mikey to seduce Patrick since the tour that summer. The first time he’d brought it up, it was seemingly out of left field. They’d been hanging out alone on the My Chem bus playing Xbox when Pete had just blurted it out, not even having the decency to pause the game.
“So you should totally fuck Patrick,” he’d said, his eyes never leaving the screen.
Mikey had jerked his head in Pete’s direction, his controller falling into his lap as onscreen, Pete’s avatar slayed his. “What?” He blinked at Pete from behind his glasses because… what?
“Dude, you guys would be totally hot together. If I can’t be with either of you, you should be with each other,” Pete replied, as if the explanation made complete sense. He reached down and picked Mikey’s controller back up. “I mean, I could be with you guys, and that would be awesome and all, until Jeanae found out about it, cut my dick off, and threw it out of a moving vehicle.”
Mikey begrudgingly took the controller from Pete, still staring at him. “I don’t get it,” he said at last. “You want me to seduce your best friend because you can’t? How does that make any sense?”
“Because,” Pete said with a shrug. “I’m going to watch you two. Masturbation fodder for months.”
Snorting, Mikey rolled his eyes because this was obviously a joke. “Yeah, right,” he mumbled as he restarted the game, but when he glanced over, Pete was looking at him, his face completely serious.
***
When Pete brought it up ten more times over the next two weeks, Mikey gathered that he wasn’t joking.
“You could tell him you need some pointers on bass technique, because obviously I can’t help you there,” Pete suggested. “And then when he’s leaned in over your shoulder? Just turn your head and kiss him. Easy.”
It probably said something about Pete’s power of persuasion or his ability to wear people down that Mikey didn’t even object to the first part of the ‘plan,’ just asked, incredulous, “And if I do that, he’s going to want to fuck me?”
Pete smirked. “Well obviously. Who wouldn’t want to fuck you? I want to fuck you, but I want to keep my dick for future usage. Having a dick is greater than one night with you. Sorry.”
Mikey rolled his eyes and gave a belabored sigh. “And where are you going to be to see all this?” he asked, playing along. Not that he wouldn’t sleep with Patrick. He wasn’t sleeping with anyone else this tour because everyone assumed he was sleeping with Pete. And Patrick was nice, and good looking, and had a lot of energy on stage. The thought had crossed his mind, mostly since Pete had brought it up.
Pete raised his head in thought. “Well, if you did it in the front lounge, I could be in my bunk and if you guys stayed on the right side of the bus, I could probably see enough by pulling back the curtain by my feet,” he mused.
***
Maybe the fact that Mikey had consumed a couple drinks had helped, but that night he’d actually stumbled up to Patrick and said, “So I was wondering if you could help me with a bass line.” He tried to raise his eyebrow suggestively but it probably just looked like he had a facial tick.
Unfortunately, Mikey had failed to notice Ray’s presence at Patrick’s side. “Aw, I can help you, Mikey,” Ray said with a smiled, clamping his hand down on Mikey’s shoulder. “How about tomorrow afternoon?”
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Mikey mumbled as he hung his head and turned to shuffle off, not noticing Patrick watching him go, his eyebrows raised.
***
After the tour, Mikey had assumed Pete would let the subject die, but when Patrick had come out to New York to meet with Gym Class Heroes, Pete texted, “pstump on his way over” and Mikey knew what he was up to. He scrambled to page through his contacts for Pete’s number, wrapping one arm across his chest as he brought his Sidekick to his ear.
“Are you up to what I think you’re up to?” Mikey asked as soon as Pete answered.
Pete’s laugh was high and braying a second before he went completely serious. “Yes. You have to seduce Patrick for me, Mikey. Come on. Put it on speaker phone so I can listen. Dude, I don’t even need to see anything, just wanna hear.”
“Seriously, Pete, you have a problem,” Mikey answered, prepared to hang up when the buzzer in his apartment sounded. “Fuck,” he hissed as he bounded over to the window to check on who was calling. Sure enough, there was Patrick, his fingers pressed into his front pockets as he stood on the front steps of the building, shoulders squared away.
“Yeah, my problem is that you won’t let me listen to you get it on with Patrick. I want to hear what he sounds like. That voice during sex? Come on,” Pete implored as Mikey walked over to buzz Patrick in. “What you don’t think he’s hot? What’s the problem?”
Mikey sighed, his shoulders slumping. “No, I think he’s hot, okay? It’s just kind of weird that you want to listen to me have sex with your singer. Why wouldn’t I just seduce him without you listening in?”
Pete was silent for a moment at that and Mikey actually checked to make sure the call hadn’t disconnected. “Because you love me?” he said at last, voice timid.
There was a knock on Mikey’s door and Mikey muttered, “Fuck,” under his breath before telling Pete, “I’ve gotta go.”
“Please, Mikey?” Pete begged one last time.
Mikey paused before conceding, “Yeah, fine, whatever,” and hitting a button to turn on the speakerphone. “Just be quiet,” he whispered as he set the phone on his end table and went to answer the door.
“Hey,” he greeted Patrick as he pulled the door open and invited Patrick inside. “Pete just told me you were coming. I didn’t even have time to pick up,” he sighed, although the place wasn’t actually that messy since he’d only been home a few weeks and had a housekeeper.
“Aw, yeah, that sounds like Pete,” Patrick chuckled as he stepped in. “He’s kind of lacking in tact sometimes. Invite me to come to your place, forget to tell you I’m coming.” He shrugged and Mikey could have sworn he heard Pete make a squeaking noise through the phone. “Anyway, he just asked me to drop something off for you…” Patrick pulled his bag from his shoulder and began rummaging through it.
Mikey glanced over at his phone and then the couch. “Hey, do you have somewhere to be? You’re welcome to stay for a while and hang out or something. It’s not like we see each other all the time.”
Raising his eyebrows, Patrick’s eyes followed Mikey’s to the couch. “We just spent a few months on tour together,” he reminded Mikey. Before Mikey could respond, Patrick added, “But yeah, I don’t have anything going on til later tonight.”
They moved over to the couch, sitting at opposite ends. Patrick dropped his bag to the floor and glanced around the apartment, nodding his head slightly. “Nice place,” he said at last.
Mikey bit his lip, his knees pressed together as he leaned over, one arm folded in his lap and one hand running up and down the side of his leg. “Thanks,” he answered, glancing around the room as well.
As Mikey tried to think of a reason to get closer to Patrick, he heard Pete’s impatient sigh coming from his phone.
“What was that?” Patrick wondered, his brow furrowed as he looked to Mikey.
“There’s a problem with the air conditioning… thing,” he lied. “They’ve been trying to fix it, but I guess sometimes these things take time,” he grumbled, turning his head toward the phone to make sure Pete understood.
Patrick narrowed his eyes a moment and then shrugged, his expression softening again. “Huh. Weird. Anyway, so I’m supposed to give you this,” he said, rummaging around in his bag again.
Mikey took the opportunity to slide over on the couch until the outside of his thigh was touching the outside of Patrick’s, leaning into his space to look into the bag as well.
“Um,” Patrick said and when Mikey turned his head toward him, their faces were inches from each other, Patrick looking at Mikey with wide eyes.
Before he could give himself the opportunity to think about it, Mikey leaned in and kissed Patrick. Their lips pressed together tentatively at first, but as soon as the initial shock of it wore off, Patrick reached up to cup the back or Mikey’s head, tilting his head to the side before pressing in for another kiss. His lips parted slightly and he ran his tongue between Mikey’s lips, Mikey eagerly opening his mouth and sliding his tongue against Patrick’s.
Clutching the front of Patrick’s shirt, Mikey laid back on the couch and pulled Patrick with him. Patrick chased Mikey’s mouth down, moaning softly as their bodies pressed together. He drew his hips up over Mikey’s, the front of their jeans rubbing together and Mikey broke the kiss as he arched his neck back, gasping at the sensation.
“Oh, fuck yes,” Pete’s voice sounded from the end table and Mikey froze, his eyes wide as he stared up at Patrick.
“Is that…” Patrick raised his head to peer over the arm of the couch, spying Mikey’s Sidekick on the table. He plucked it up and stared at the screen before calmly saying, “Bye Pete,” and hanging up.
“I can explain,” Mikey said as Patrick slowly pushed himself up to a seated position, even though he wasn’t really sure his explanation would be acceptable.
“Pete asked you seduce me?” Patrick asked, nodding his head like he already knew the answer. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”
“Oh,” Mikey said quietly, as he swung his legs off the couch and sat up. He couldn’t help but feel foolish.
“He means well,” Patrick continued, lifting his hat to run a hand underneath it, smoothing over his hair. “He knows I’m not very good at making the first move with guys.”
“Oh?” Mikey raised an eyebrow as he turned his head toward Patrick.
“Yeah. He’s known I’ve had a thing for you since beginning of summer.” Patrick dropped his head before turning his face toward Mikey, his cheeks slightly flushed. “This is his way of trying to get us together.”
Mikey’s stomach fluttered as he grinned at Patrick. “Oh,” he said softly as he leaned in and kissed Patrick once more.
My apologies to the recipient for the abject lack of sex. I wrote a whole bunch of Patrick/Mikey smut for periodbandom and I am, sadly, all sexed out at the moment.
I also wrote "Awake and Unafraid" for onlyknightmare and "Maybe We're a Bliss of Another Kind" for okubyo_kitsune.