Comments | runaway_tales: Formaldehyde Pets

quirkycricket in runaway_tales

Formaldehyde Pets

Jan 19, 2015 02:39

Candy Apple #5 (hand)
Marshmallow #8 (exploring)
Rocky Road #9 (basement)
Pistachio #9 (picnic)

Toppings:
Whipped Cream
Hot Fudge

Rating: PG-13

Story: Untilted
Character: Olivia Bailey//White

Hi guys! I'm really excited to make my first post here in RaTs. I'm not going to bore everyone with a lot of details but basically I'm using this group to " ( Read more... )

[challenge] marshmallow, [challenge] rocky road, [challenge] candy apple, [topping] whipped cream, [challenge] pistachio, [topping] hot fudge, [author] cricket

Comments 12

fachefaucheux January 19 2015, 15:44:34 UTC

Hah! Some pet...this makes me wonder who exactly owned that house to begin with. One thing though--it might make the piece easier to work through if there were some paragraph breaks. Like maybe one where she encounters the house, and another where she goes back to her parents? Just a thought.

Administrative note, however: each piece can only use three prompts. So you'll have to take one of the four flavor prompts away and use it on another piece.

quirkycricket January 19 2015, 18:42:33 UTC

I'm sorry! I must have not read that in the rules <3 won't happened again!

fachefaucheux January 19 2015, 20:11:30 UTC

No worries~ The more you post, the easier it gets to juggle the whole flavors/toppings/extras shebang. ^^

quirkycricket January 19 2015, 20:24:34 UTC

Is there a comprehensive list of toppings and extras? I've only been able to find them by going to the FAQ page and opening the examples.

Thread 6

shayna611 January 19 2015, 18:21:24 UTC

Awesomely creepy! I love this kid, but damn, I want to slap her parents. And great use of the prompts, but you do need to drop one (I'd drop "hand" and bring the "pet" back for another story).

Seconding Olram on the need for paragraph breaks. Your sentences flow just fine as if they were there, so it's really just a formatting/presentation issue.

quirkycricket January 19 2015, 18:44:28 UTC

Thank you so much.

Did the cut work on the friend's feed? It isn't showing up when I'm viewing it.

shayna611 January 19 2015, 22:53:22 UTC

It worked :)

roisin_farrell January 21 2015, 23:17:31 UTC

I wonder how her mother reacted to her new "pet". :)

Going to echo about the use of paragraphs breaks and you may want to choose a different color for you notes than the blue one. It's hard to read on the white background of RaTs.

quirkycricket January 22 2015, 00:25:31 UTC

I'm always changing colors. I'm not married to blue.

I'll try and keep the paragraphs in mind. They've never been my strong suit.

quirkycricket January 22 2015, 00:34:05 UTC

As for how Mrs. Bailey reacted...well she didn't let her keep it. Maybe Black will have a replacement for her in later years?