Comments | runaway_tales: Chokeberry, Pistachio and Red Currant

ellis12 in runaway_tales

Chokeberry, Pistachio and Red Currant

Jun 01, 2011 00:25

Author: ellis12
Story: Threads ( Background | Index)
Rating: PG 13
Challenge: Pistachio #3 (ceremony), Red Currant #2 (heat wave), Chokeberry #26 (I was happier dreaming)
Extras/Toppings: none
Word count: 1583
Summary: The wedding night (in which Nevara marries Yann and I finally manage to write this scene which lurked annoyingly on the edges of my mind ( Read more... )

[challenge] chokeberry, [challenge] red currant, [challenge] pistachio

Comments 7

(The comment has been removed)

ellis12 June 1 2011, 06:39:39 UTC

I'm glad you like it <3 I guess awkward would be a mild term to describe what is going on in there. I kept asking myself while writing it "what would I do/feel in such a situation?" Granted, it's not quite the same thing (at least we don't regularly arrange marriages these days) but it helped me get an idea...

(The comment has been removed)

ellis12 June 1 2011, 07:23:20 UTC

I guess that, despite the appearances, it's as awkward for him as it is for her. He's the type of person that acts a lot on instinct and gut feelings, and stops to think later. This is how he took the decision of marrying Neve - because he's sick and tired of "needing to get a new wife" - and I imagine the enormity of what he's done it's just starting to sink in. He just happens to be lucky in that his instincts are usually correct :d

kay_brooke June 1 2011, 13:54:23 UTC

Oh, this is really well-done. The awkwardness and pain and Nevara's grief over her lost life comes through so well. I love the description of her staring at the sunset until it hurt, because she didn't know if she would ever see such a sight again.

I'm glad Yann isn't the sort to take her by force. Small blessing, at least.

ellis12 June 1 2011, 14:21:49 UTC

Thank you <3
On the bright side, things definitely look worse now for Neve than they are going to turn out. Yann is not a bad person himself. It just so happens that in Haederan culture marriage is in essence a contract, with very little concern for the feelings of the individuals involved, while in Neve's world love is a prerequisite. Yann doesn't really understand her frustration, at the moment, but is willing to give her some time.

bookblather June 2 2011, 03:56:11 UTC

Ooooh. I really, really like how you wrote the tension between Nevara and Yann. It's so realistic, and the grief that Nevara feels at essentially sacrificing herself for her home is so well done. Good job.

ellis12 June 2 2011, 06:13:58 UTC

Thank you!

luna_moonsilver June 28 2011, 22:56:57 UTC

Ohh, poor Neve :( though at least Yann hasn't pressured her into anything. This piece is very bittersweet -- and I hope everything will get better for Neve soon <3