Eggnog #4--"Grinching"
Author: leiamoody
Title: Grinching
Rating: PG-13 (some rough language)
Challenge: Eggnog #4, “fruit cake”
Story: Maybe December
Summary: Jamie discovers fruitcake can make someone angry.
Word Count: 388
Notes: The character Mr. Bonaventure made his first appearance in Watching. The lyrics quoted in the first line are from "Fruitcakes" by Jimmy Buffett.
(Fruitcakes in the kitchen/fruitcakes in the street…)
“Damned fruitcake!” Mr. Bonaventure slammed a meaty fist into his equally beefy thigh. “Another thing I hate about Christmas!”
Jamie exchanged his regular customer’s empty whiskey glass for a newly filled-to-near-spillage glass of the same beverage. Eight days into December, and the holiday grouchfest was under full steam. Mr. Bonaventure’s occasional resilience gave way under the Yuletide onslaught; for the past hour, the old man had grinched about mall Santas, carolers, mulled wine, eggnog, Salvation army bell ringers…basically, everything that could be associated with Christmas sent him off the cliff. So Mr. Bonaventure came to his usual Thursday intoxication habitation looking for relief.
He dug into his pockets for jukebox money, which led to a Jimmy Buffett medley (the streak began with “Margaritaville” and was now reaching its finale with “Fruitcakes”). This last song inspired Mr. Bonaventure’s newest holiday gripe: “Godfreaking damned freaking fruitcake!” He grabbed the fresh whiskey and sent it down his throat in one champion swallow. “Crap tastes like mothballs, looks all poopy…” He trailed off, muttering as usual.
Jamie wondered if the curmudgeon was going to expound upon the blatant resemblance between fruitcake and “No. 2”. He could acknowledge there was an unfortunate similarity between the questionable pastry and the final result of a typical dinner. But it wasn’t an image Jamie wished to consider.
“You know those green bits?” Mr. Bonaventure pushed his recently emptied glass toward Jamie. “What are they?”
“Cherries?”
“They have to be olives.”
“I doubt olives would be included in something called ‘fruitcake’.”
“None of that stuff is fruit.”
“It has to contain a few pieces.”
The old man scowled. “Messing with my head, boy?”
Jamie backed away with hands raised in the universal “no disrespect intended” gesture.
Mr. Bonaventure’s expression remained hostile, but his words indicated a truce. “Yeah, yeah, sure, no problem, kid.” He shrugged. “Just the holidays get me all…you know, bothered. Lotta happy stuff and I ain’t happy about nothin’…”
Jamie fixed up another shot of whiskey to soothe the old man’s troubled self. It wasn’t the best solution for a perpetually angry man, but it was the quickest aid to restore his unsettled psyche.
He set the glass in front of Mr. Bonaventure. “Ready for another go?”
Now the old man grinned. “You know me so well.”
Title: Grinching
Rating: PG-13 (some rough language)
Challenge: Eggnog #4, “fruit cake”
Story: Maybe December
Summary: Jamie discovers fruitcake can make someone angry.
Word Count: 388
Notes: The character Mr. Bonaventure made his first appearance in Watching. The lyrics quoted in the first line are from "Fruitcakes" by Jimmy Buffett.
(Fruitcakes in the kitchen/fruitcakes in the street…)
“Damned fruitcake!” Mr. Bonaventure slammed a meaty fist into his equally beefy thigh. “Another thing I hate about Christmas!”
Jamie exchanged his regular customer’s empty whiskey glass for a newly filled-to-near-spillage glass of the same beverage. Eight days into December, and the holiday grouchfest was under full steam. Mr. Bonaventure’s occasional resilience gave way under the Yuletide onslaught; for the past hour, the old man had grinched about mall Santas, carolers, mulled wine, eggnog, Salvation army bell ringers…basically, everything that could be associated with Christmas sent him off the cliff. So Mr. Bonaventure came to his usual Thursday intoxication habitation looking for relief.
He dug into his pockets for jukebox money, which led to a Jimmy Buffett medley (the streak began with “Margaritaville” and was now reaching its finale with “Fruitcakes”). This last song inspired Mr. Bonaventure’s newest holiday gripe: “Godfreaking damned freaking fruitcake!” He grabbed the fresh whiskey and sent it down his throat in one champion swallow. “Crap tastes like mothballs, looks all poopy…” He trailed off, muttering as usual.
Jamie wondered if the curmudgeon was going to expound upon the blatant resemblance between fruitcake and “No. 2”. He could acknowledge there was an unfortunate similarity between the questionable pastry and the final result of a typical dinner. But it wasn’t an image Jamie wished to consider.
“You know those green bits?” Mr. Bonaventure pushed his recently emptied glass toward Jamie. “What are they?”
“Cherries?”
“They have to be olives.”
“I doubt olives would be included in something called ‘fruitcake’.”
“None of that stuff is fruit.”
“It has to contain a few pieces.”
The old man scowled. “Messing with my head, boy?”
Jamie backed away with hands raised in the universal “no disrespect intended” gesture.
Mr. Bonaventure’s expression remained hostile, but his words indicated a truce. “Yeah, yeah, sure, no problem, kid.” He shrugged. “Just the holidays get me all…you know, bothered. Lotta happy stuff and I ain’t happy about nothin’…”
Jamie fixed up another shot of whiskey to soothe the old man’s troubled self. It wasn’t the best solution for a perpetually angry man, but it was the quickest aid to restore his unsettled psyche.
He set the glass in front of Mr. Bonaventure. “Ready for another go?”
Now the old man grinned. “You know me so well.”