FOTD, Guava 27, Blue Raspberry 19: Tender Places
Title: Tender Places
Main Story: In the Heart
Flavors, Toppings, Extras: FOTD (umbra: shade; shadow), guava 27 (don't you cry for me), blue raspberry 19 (falling apart), malt (gandolforf's easter egg: You told me about nowhere and it sounds like some place I'd like to go - "Dashboard", by Modest Mouse), pocky chain, chopped nuts (straight AU), rainbow sprinkles (Leah is a minor character in said AU), fresh blueberries (Children are tough, though we tend to think of them as fragile. They have to be tough. Childhood is not easy. We sentimentalize children, but they know what's real and what's not. -- Maurice Sendak).
Word Count: 500
Rating: PG.
Summary: There are tender places in Leah's memory.
WARNING: Triggers for domestic abuse.
Notes: Moonwalk.
There are tender places in Leah's memory, sore spots where it hurts to tread. She'll remember a joyful day from long ago, dancing with her brother or dandling her sister, and suddenly the pain will rise up and wipe it out, eclipse even the present. It feels sometimes as if she's got a minefield in her own mind.
Robbie understands. So does her mother. Her sisters don't. She's glad for that, really, but some days, when Beth pretends to be an authority on their father or when Caty asks what he was like, she wishes they had tender places too.
--
Mama comes in very quietly. Her hair is tangled and her eyes are red, and she's looking at Robbie like her heart is breaking. Leah clings to her brother's hand and looks up at her mother, frightened. She doesn't understand what's happening-- she just knows that Robbie is hurt, and her mama is angry.
"Get your things," Mama says. Her voice is quiet, but furious. "We're going."
Leah looks at her brother, then at Mama. "Going where?"
"Away," Mama says, brusquely. "Get your things."
Leah does as she's told.
She'd ask where Daddy is, but she doesn't want to know.
--
It's not Caty's fault. It's not. Leah has to keep telling herself that, or she's afraid she'll think that it is.
Mama explained it all. She said that Daddy is working very hard and that makes him tired. She said that they must all be very good and quiet when he's around. And Leah tries.
But ever since Caty was born Daddy is angry. He shouts at Leah and Robbie, and locks them in their rooms. Leah thinks he hits Mama.
He doesn't hit Leah and Robbie. Yet.
It's not Caty's fault. She keeps thinking that. It's not Caty's fault.
--
Mama is going to have a baby.
Leah is so excited. She loves Robbie, but he's a boy and boys don't understand sometimes. She really hopes the new baby is a girl like her.
Daddy isn't happy, though. He's grumpy and cranky. Leah tries to climb up on his lap, to cuddle until he smiles, but he just growls, and shoves her away.
She stumbles back and starts to cry, more frightened than hurt. Mama swoops in, and carries her away.
"Why is Daddy mad at me?" she cries.
"He's not angry," Mama says, quietly.
It feels like he is.
--
She has been at school for two whole weeks, and Leah loves it. Robbie says that preschool isn't real school, but she ignores him, because she's learning to read and to count and to do all sorts of things. And one day she gets everything right and Teacher gives her a gold star.
She shows Mama, and Mama is suitably impressed. She shows Robbie and Robbie makes fun of her, but he's just jealous.
She wants to show Daddy, but Mama says it's not a good idea, just now.
She's probably right.
Leah doesn't think Daddy is that interested anyway.
Main Story: In the Heart
Flavors, Toppings, Extras: FOTD (umbra: shade; shadow), guava 27 (don't you cry for me), blue raspberry 19 (falling apart), malt (gandolforf's easter egg: You told me about nowhere and it sounds like some place I'd like to go - "Dashboard", by Modest Mouse), pocky chain, chopped nuts (straight AU), rainbow sprinkles (Leah is a minor character in said AU), fresh blueberries (Children are tough, though we tend to think of them as fragile. They have to be tough. Childhood is not easy. We sentimentalize children, but they know what's real and what's not. -- Maurice Sendak).
Word Count: 500
Rating: PG.
Summary: There are tender places in Leah's memory.
WARNING: Triggers for domestic abuse.
Notes: Moonwalk.
There are tender places in Leah's memory, sore spots where it hurts to tread. She'll remember a joyful day from long ago, dancing with her brother or dandling her sister, and suddenly the pain will rise up and wipe it out, eclipse even the present. It feels sometimes as if she's got a minefield in her own mind.
Robbie understands. So does her mother. Her sisters don't. She's glad for that, really, but some days, when Beth pretends to be an authority on their father or when Caty asks what he was like, she wishes they had tender places too.
--
Mama comes in very quietly. Her hair is tangled and her eyes are red, and she's looking at Robbie like her heart is breaking. Leah clings to her brother's hand and looks up at her mother, frightened. She doesn't understand what's happening-- she just knows that Robbie is hurt, and her mama is angry.
"Get your things," Mama says. Her voice is quiet, but furious. "We're going."
Leah looks at her brother, then at Mama. "Going where?"
"Away," Mama says, brusquely. "Get your things."
Leah does as she's told.
She'd ask where Daddy is, but she doesn't want to know.
--
It's not Caty's fault. It's not. Leah has to keep telling herself that, or she's afraid she'll think that it is.
Mama explained it all. She said that Daddy is working very hard and that makes him tired. She said that they must all be very good and quiet when he's around. And Leah tries.
But ever since Caty was born Daddy is angry. He shouts at Leah and Robbie, and locks them in their rooms. Leah thinks he hits Mama.
He doesn't hit Leah and Robbie. Yet.
It's not Caty's fault. She keeps thinking that. It's not Caty's fault.
--
Mama is going to have a baby.
Leah is so excited. She loves Robbie, but he's a boy and boys don't understand sometimes. She really hopes the new baby is a girl like her.
Daddy isn't happy, though. He's grumpy and cranky. Leah tries to climb up on his lap, to cuddle until he smiles, but he just growls, and shoves her away.
She stumbles back and starts to cry, more frightened than hurt. Mama swoops in, and carries her away.
"Why is Daddy mad at me?" she cries.
"He's not angry," Mama says, quietly.
It feels like he is.
--
She has been at school for two whole weeks, and Leah loves it. Robbie says that preschool isn't real school, but she ignores him, because she's learning to read and to count and to do all sorts of things. And one day she gets everything right and Teacher gives her a gold star.
She shows Mama, and Mama is suitably impressed. She shows Robbie and Robbie makes fun of her, but he's just jealous.
She wants to show Daddy, but Mama says it's not a good idea, just now.
She's probably right.
Leah doesn't think Daddy is that interested anyway.