Vanilla Custard, Fudge Ripple, Mocha w/ Cherry, Pineapple, & Blueberry - Regret for the Past
Author: Nikki
Challenge: Vanilla Custard #6 (How was I supposed to know she was slowly letting go? - She Never Cried In Front Of Me by Toby Keith), Fudge Ripple #6 (betrayal), Mocha #30 (till the bitter end)
Toppings/Extras: Cherry (first person), Pineapple (Still I take the blows), Blueberry (The footprints that led up to me.)
Word Count: 191
Rating: PG
Notes: Last vanilla custard! Takes place in October 2016. The title of this is Regret for the Past.
Story: Phase
Summary: Angie thinks about Sarah, soon before her death.
You can’t blame her for hating me. I sure as hell don’t. I was never good for her, not in that house where I abandoned her, or afterward when I followed her, used her, hurt her. I hit her, once. Only once. I hate myself a lot, too.
I’m not him.
But she hates me anyway. She should. I’m just an anchor to her, something that drags her down and drowns her, something she doesn’t need. Something that took her for granted, as someone who would always be there to fix me because I was too pathetic to fix myself. Even after I hit her, she helped me. She’s a good person.
She’s not me.
She doesn’t talk to me now. I don’t blame her, but I wish she would, sometimes. I wish she could see me like this, sober and medicated, and patched. Not fixed completely, thanks to the cancer, but... Something she never saw. I wish she could see that now.
But she hates me. And it’s better for her that way. There’s no use in introducing her to this version of me when I’m going to die soon.
Challenge: Vanilla Custard #6 (How was I supposed to know she was slowly letting go? - She Never Cried In Front Of Me by Toby Keith), Fudge Ripple #6 (betrayal), Mocha #30 (till the bitter end)
Toppings/Extras: Cherry (first person), Pineapple (Still I take the blows), Blueberry (The footprints that led up to me.)
Word Count: 191
Rating: PG
Notes: Last vanilla custard! Takes place in October 2016. The title of this is Regret for the Past.
Story: Phase
Summary: Angie thinks about Sarah, soon before her death.
You can’t blame her for hating me. I sure as hell don’t. I was never good for her, not in that house where I abandoned her, or afterward when I followed her, used her, hurt her. I hit her, once. Only once. I hate myself a lot, too.
I’m not him.
But she hates me anyway. She should. I’m just an anchor to her, something that drags her down and drowns her, something she doesn’t need. Something that took her for granted, as someone who would always be there to fix me because I was too pathetic to fix myself. Even after I hit her, she helped me. She’s a good person.
She’s not me.
She doesn’t talk to me now. I don’t blame her, but I wish she would, sometimes. I wish she could see me like this, sober and medicated, and patched. Not fixed completely, thanks to the cancer, but... Something she never saw. I wish she could see that now.
But she hates me. And it’s better for her that way. There’s no use in introducing her to this version of me when I’m going to die soon.