City on the Edge of Forever Part 3
Title: City on the Edge of Forever
Author: xlostheavenx
Genre: AU, fluff, angst
Part: 3/?
Rating: R-NC17
Bands: the GazettE, mentions of others
Pairings: UruhaxRuki, MiyavixKai, onesided ReitaxRuki, onesided AoixKai, mention of other pairings
Synopsis: ”I’m drawn to you, every part of me is and as much as I try to forget you and forget about what I feel, that connection is still there and I don’t want to try to pretend that it doesn’t exist!”
Disclaimer: Don't own...
Comments: Here’s Part 3, I really like this part and I hope you all do too!!
Prologue.:. Part 1.:. Part 2
Part 3
The next morning, or rather afternoon, Kai did slightly lecture me but gave up when I began to complain about my head hurting then he just sighed and went to get me aspirin and a cup of water.
Miyavi, who had been in town, came bounding out of the bathroom just as I swallowed the pills, and they left on a date. I was grateful for the time alone.
As time passed, Reita came to the club more and more often, and before I knew it, I had known him for over a year.
I realized that I had known Uruha too for that length of time. When we were alone, we kept the conversation as light as possible, but I still felt the same spark that I did the first time I had ever saw him.
I was out shopping one day alone, because Kai was off with Miyavi somewhere when I walked into an upscale store.
“Ruki-san?” I heard a voice call and I nearly jumped out of my skin until I heard a soft giggle and I turned. “Hi.”
I recognized the smile in an instant. “Hi Uruha. What are you doing here?”
“I work here.”
I looked around. “Oh.” I could feel myself blushing. It was the first time I had ever seen him outside of my work and I wasn’t really sure who he was expecting. I wasn’t wearing any makeup and instead had opted for a dark pair of sunglasses.
“Is today your day off?” He asked leaning against the counter and I moved closer to him.
“No, I just don’t start for about another hour.” I was beginning to relax as he nodded.
He began to play with his nametag. “Is there anything I can help you find?”
“No, I’m alright. I just got kicked out my apartment for awhile because K-, because my roommate’s boyfriend is in town.”
Uruha brushed his hair back and laughed. “Well at least you know your place in the world.”
“Yeah.” I switched the bags I was carrying from one hand to the other. I was nervous and I wasn’t exactly sure what to say.
To me Uruha looked so good right then, he seemed to be completely at ease, not like when I saw him at the club, and he had a certain charm about him that made my throat dry, that made me fumble with my words.
“Hey, it’s about time for my break, I was going to get a drink at the café down the street, did you want to come with me?” He asked playing with his shirt.
“Sure, I should grab something before work.” I nodded before I even knew what I was doing.
“Great, just let me go tell Yuki that I’m leaving for a bit.” He disappeared into a back room and I waited by the door, kicking the ground every so often until he returned with a coat hanging over his arm. “Ready?” He opened the door for me and I blushed as he led me down the street, talking about some of the crazy customers he had had that day. “I hope I’m not talking too much.” He said as we entered the small restaurant.
“Not at all, it’s nice to hear your voice.” I laughed lightly as we got in line to order. Once we got our drinks he led me through a park.
“It’s a short cut.” He said before shaking his head. “Okay, it’s not, but I like to go this way, just so I can have a little break from everything else in life. It’s sort of my hide out.”
“I used to have one of those back home, expect it wasn’t a park, it was a beach. I would always walk on the sand when I went home from school even if it was ten minutes out of my way.” I confessed looking around.
I shivered slightly and he frowned. “Are you cold?”
It was early fall, and even though the sun was still warm, there was a slight breeze that had been stealing my warmth as it got late in the day. “A little.” I admitted. All I was wearing was a thin long sleeved shirt.
He stopped walking and bending over he put his cup on the ground. “Turn around.” He said and I did so without question, then he wrapped his jacket around me. “Better?” He asked as he picked his drink back up.
“Yes,” I could feel my face burning and licked my lips. “Thank you.”
He nodded and we walked a bit more. “Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?” His voice hadn’t changed tone and I was surprised at the confidence in it.
Then it hit me what he said and I blinked a few times. “What?” I stopped walking
“Well…I mean…we’ve known each other for awhile, and I’ve…I’ve sort of developed some feelings towards you, and I thought maybe you felt the same, so I was wondering if I could take you out on a date, for dinner or something. If lunch is better we could do that too.” He turned and met my eyes.
My throat instantly went dry and I swear I could hear my heartbeat echoing. “Say no!” My mind was screaming and I could feel my legs going weak. My hands trembled and I couldn’t focus my eyes properly.
This could not be happening. It wasn’t supposed to happen, it wasn’t allowed to happen.
Uruha stood there looking at me, his eyes seemed to be desperately trying to catch mine, but I wouldn’t let him. But I couldn’t hide myself either.
I let out the breath that I had been holding and the pain in my chest lessened slightly.
No, no, no! “Yes.” No! I couldn’t do this, no matter how much I wanted it, no matter how much I dreamed about it. I was going against everything that I had learned, everything that I had forced myself to forget about.
But as soon as I saw his smile spread across his face, I didn’t care about any of that anymore.
“Great! I’ll stop by your place tomorrow then?”
“No!” I couldn’t stop myself from panicking.
He frowned and took a step closer. “What’s the matter Ruki?” He began slowly.
“It’s just…I can’t let…Kai…anyone…” I felt my cheeks heating up.
“I understand.” He said with a smile. “I’ll meet you down the block from your place then?”
“I’d like that.” I gave him directions to a small store at the end of my street. “I’ll just stay home from work sick…Kai usually leaves around… three thirty so anytime after that we can get together.”
“Four-thirty then?” I nodded and he grinned before leaning over and hugging me. I let myself get lost in his embrace for a moment, and breathing him in I could forget my anxiety for the moment.
“I have to go.” I whispered my eyes still closed.
“Me too.” He pulled away. “Have a good night Ruki.” He squeezed my hand and turned to go back to his work, I watched as he walked away before sprinting to the club.
I ran in the doors breathing heavily, I hadn’t noticed how much time had passed while I was with Uruha.
“Hey Ruki, forget you had to work?” Kyo laughed as he sorted through some papers on the bar.
“No…no I just missed my train.” I breathed in deeply and ran a hand through my hair.
“Hi Ruki!” Kai walked in the door. “Is that a new coat?” He asked frowning slightly.
“Huh?” I looked down to see that I was still wearing Uruha’s jacket. “Uh, yeah. I got it while I was out today…since I got cold…”
“It’s nice, but it looks a little big.” Kai came over to me and adjusted the material.
“It was the last one.” I swallowed hard and I could feel my cheeks heating up.
“Oh well, it looks good.” He looked around. “Let’s finish getting ready. The wind did a real number on your hair today.” He smiled and laughed.
I followed him to the back and let him style my hair and do my makeup while he chatted away about his day with Miyavi. I knew that if I was going to be able to convince him that I was sick I would have to start that night. I knew that it was going to be hard hide Uruha from him.
“Hey Ruki,” We were putting away the clean cups about half way through the night.
“Hmm?”
“Are you alright, you haven’t seemed like your usual self tonight.” Kai’s hand rested on my back and made me face him.
I swallowed hard. I hadn’t been talking much that night, both because I was trying to figure out things with Uruha and also because I knew that I had to pretend to be sick. I think the first reason was more the change he noticed in me.
“I…uh, I don’t know. My head hurts a bit and I just feel a bit off.” I shrugged.
He frowned. “Do you want to go home? Maybe get some rest?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m alright.” I grabbed a bottle of champagne and left to go entertain with Kyo. I could feel Kai’s eyes burning into my back and I knew he was more worried then suspicious at that point.
I got through the night alright, and purposely didn’t set my alarm when we got home. I heard Kai get up in the morning and stayed in bed until he knocked on my door.
“Ruki? Ruki are you up?” I kept my eyes shut as he turned the knob and stepped into the room. “Ruki.” I cracked open one eye slightly and groaned before rolling over. “Hey Ru, are you okay?” He stepped into the room.
“Fine.” I said sitting up before promptly flopping back down. I could hear Kai sigh and then he was sitting on my bed.
He rolled me over slightly and brushed the hair from my face so he could feel my forehead. “You’re not too warm…how do you feel?”
“Alright.” I slipped out from under his arm and stood up. I took a few steps before grabbing my head and swaying.
“Ruki!” I felt Kai’s arms encircle me and I let myself briefly smile knowing that he believed that I was sick. “You’re going back to bed, I don’t care what you say.”
I nodded weakly and let him lead me back to my bed. I lay down and closed my eyes for a few seconds before quickly sitting up. “I have to call Kyo-san!”
Kai shook his head and pushed me back to my mattress. “I’ll take care of it.” I closed my eyes and waited until he closed the door to get up and pick out my clothes for the night. I was careful to listen to his movements around the apartment so I could crawl into bed, when he came back to my room.
“Ruki, I’m going to leave these pills for you to take here. Make sure to drink this water too. I’ll call you later to see how you are okay?”
I nodded my eyes still closed. “Thank you.” I murmured.
He leaned over and patted my head. “Just take care of yourself okay?” He stood up and walked out of the room. I waited until I heard the front door close before getting up and frantically getting ready. It was four thirty when I ran out my front door. I slowed to a walk as the store I was meeting Uruha at came into view. I breathed deeply and closed my eyes as I reached up to open the door.
“Hey.” The voice made me jump and I turned quickly losing my balance on the step.
I felt his arm circle my waist and catch me. I looked up at him, my cheeks turning red quickly. “Hi Uruha.” My voice was weak even to my own ears.
“Hi Ruki.” He arm didn’t move and the palm of his hand was pressed against the small of my back. I shivered slightly at his touch. “You know, I had no idea you were such a klutz.” He smiled and I laughed nervously.
“Neither did I.”
“Are you ready?” He looked down at me and I nodded. “There’s a nice little place about a ten minute walk from here, if you’re up for that.”
“For sure.” He turned and led me down the block his fingers resting lightly on my back, in a way that made sure that I followed him and kept me close at the same time.
“Did Kai say anything?” He asked awhile later.
“No. He thinks I’m in bed sleeping.” I hung my head slightly. “I don’t like lying to him…”
“Then why are you? Why don’t you tell him you have a date?”
His words made me blush and I swallowed hard. “Because…you don’t understand.” I met his eyes as I looked sideways at him.
“Then explain it to me Ruki. I do want to know. From the first moment I saw you, I wanted to know everything about you. I wanted to know every story, every secret, every feeling and every thought.” He turned away hesitantly. “I know, that’s what everyone is supposed to want when they see you but…but you didn’t look at me the same way as you did your…clients.”
I sighed. “I could hide myself completely around everyone else except for you Uruha. I don’t know why. But the moment I saw you too…I just…” I turned my gaze to the ground and shoved my hands into my pockets.
He laughed lightly. “Well, at least we feel the same way.” I couldn’t help but laugh as well. “I guess we’re past that awkward part of the first date.”
“I guess so.” I shook my head and he stopped in front of a small restaurant.
“This is the place. I used to come here when I first moved to town.” He smiled and instantly I felt at ease, as if the rest of the world didn’t matter.
I followed him inside and we were seated in a booth next to the window. I brushed the hair from my eyes and looked over at him. I couldn’t really believe that I was sitting there with him.
“Its nice.” I looked around. The place was modest but quite cute looking.
“You don’t have to lie, I’m sure you’re taken to a lot nicer places.” I looked over at Uruha and he was looking down at his menu tracing circles on it with his finger.
“What do you mean?” I fidgeted in my seat.
“It’s just…I’m sure that you get brought out a lot and…well, I know that this isn’t the fanciest place around.” He bit his lip but refused to look up.
“Uruha, look at me.” I said softly and waited until his eyes met mine. “I don’t date. I haven’t been out with anyone since I was…seventeen and that was before I moved here.” I swallowed hard. “You see…the thing is…that even though I’m technically allowed to date, I’m just not allowed to date any of my…clients. Kai, and Kyo have told me, have told everyone on numerous times that we’re not allowed to fall in love with them. That’s what I was trying to say before, why we can’t tell anyone, because Uruha, I like you, and I have since the first time I ever saw you. I’m drawn to you, every part of me is and as much as I try to forget you and forget about what I feel, that connection is still there and I don’t want to try to pretend that it doesn’t exist!” I frowned slightly. “I don’t want Kai to be right. He said that hosts usually date other hosts because other people don’t understand us, they don’t get our line of work.”
“Ruki, I-” He started but I raised my hand and he closed his mouth.
“Just let me finish, please.” I breathed in. “I…I want you to know that…that I’m putting a lot on the line sitting here with you, but…but I wouldn’t have it any other way. What I do for work is work, but…I would never do anything there that would do anything to hurt any relationship I’m in. I want to get to know you Uruha, I really do, more then anything else, that’s why I’m sitting here with you. Please don’t doubt that.”
He nodded slowly. “I’m sorry.” He began quietly. “It’s just…I’ve seen the attention that men pay to you, I’ve seen the money they have, and the things they could give to you. And I’m…I’m just a bit self conscious about it because I don’t have the money that say Reita has or…” He hung his head in defeat.
“I don’t care.” I said and he looked up quickly. “I knew that, or well I guessed that and I’m still sitting here with you. Not with Reita, not with anyone else.” I paused and bit my lip. “My name is Takanori, and I grew up in a town of about two thousand people. I graduated with honors and turned down a university scholarship because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Then I moved here and worked in a boutique until I met Kai and he brought me to the club and then I became a host. Kai’s my roommate and other then that the only friends I have in town are the people at the club that I work with. That’s about it.”
Uruha stared at me for a minute before nodding slowly. “Thank you. I didn’t mean to sound like a jerk or anything.”
“It’s alright. I’m probably more like you then anyone I work with.” I laughed. “I didn’t mean to overreact.”
“Maybe we should look at the menus.” He said after a minute of us just looking at each other.
When our waiter finally came we both ordered noodles and after our drinks were brought to us, Uruha moved around the table and sat next to me. I looked sideways at him and blushed.
“You look nice.” I said.
“Thanks, so do you.” He raised his hand and brushed the hair from my face. “So…”
I had to laugh, out of all the times we had seen each other and talked this time was different. “It’s weird isn’t it?” I breathed in deeply. “I mean, we’ve known each other over a year now, and still…we don’t know how to talk to each other, and when we do, it’s so intense.”
He laughed as well. “I guess we’re going to have to learn.”
“We’d better.” I smiled.
“Why’s that?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Well, if we’re going to be seeing each other...” I stopped talking and looked up at him hesitantly.
“Which we are?”
“Yes?”
Our hands met on the table and his fingers entwined with mine. It was one of the first times we had ever really touched and my throat went dry. I felt like my skin was on fire and I loved it.
“Good. I was hoping that I didn’t work up my courage for months just to see you once.” He grinned and I relaxed. I was afraid that I had scared him away by talking to him earlier, but I knew that if we were to have a relationship, he would need to know these things. It was better to do it now then later. “Can I ask you one thing though?”
“Ask me anything.”
“What do I call you? Ruki or Takanori?”
I frowned and thought for a second. “Call me whatever you want. I told you my real name because I want you to know it so that you have a part of me that none of my clients do. So that you know that you’re dating me and not the person I have to pretend to be.” I smiled slightly and met his eyes.
Our date went well and I found myself feeling more and more for him. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to be sitting there with him.
The night ended all too soon and he was saying goodbye to me.
“So, can I call you?” He asked shuffling his feet and I nodded, quickly scribbling down my cell and home phone numbers.
“I’ll see you soon?” I blinked up at him uncertainly. Although I was used to flirting all the time, I had never really been in a serious relationship before.
He reached down and brushed the hair from my face. “Of course.” Then he smiled and I swear my heart skipped a beat. “Have a good night Taka.”
“You too Uruha.” He reached down and squeezed my hand before turning and walking away. I watched until he turned the corner before making my way up to my apartment.
It was still early and I knew that Kai wouldn’t be home for at least five more hours. I guess it wasn’t really early, but not as late as I was used to. I stripped out of my date clothes and changed into a pair of pajama pants before settling myself on the couch.
“Ruki,” I moaned and swatted the hand that was gently shaking me. “Ruki wake up!”
I opened my eyes reluctantly and blinked up at Kai. “When did you get home?” I asked sitting up not aware that I had fallen asleep.
“About nine hours ago. I just figured I’d better wake you up so you would have time to shower before work.” He smiled and moved to feel my forehead. “How are you feeling?”
I frowned. “Fine. Thanks.” I stretched and stood up.
Kai studied me for a minute before all the concern vanished from his face. “Good, I missed you last night.” He then reached out and began to drag me down the hall. “Now, Aoi is coming tonight so you have to look nice.”
I groaned. “I always have to look nice.” I pouted slightly and he shook his head. “Besides why do I have to dress up for Aoi?”
“You’re dressing up for Reita. When was the last time you saw him anyways?” He began to dig through my closet.
I shifted slightly. “I don’t remember.” I confessed. I knew the last time I saw Uruha at the club though, it was on a Thursday and he was wearing lost sleeve white shirt and the top few buttons were undone.
“What about this one?”
I realized that I was getting lost in my own thoughts and not listening to what Kai was saying. I knew that he had been chatting away to me, but what exactly he was saying was beyond me.
“Yeah, sure.” I agreed and he pulled out a black silk shirt and proceeded to pull off my tank top before buttoning only the middle buttons. “Kai, don’t you think this makes me look a bit slutty?”
He laughed. “Of course not, just very very appealing.” He winked.
I sighed and let him fuss over me for the next few hours at home and then at the club. I didn’t know if I should be excited or scared of Reita coming. I was excited because I liked the possibility of seeing Uruha again and scared that someone might catch on.
But as I walked out into the dimly lit club, dark makeup around my eyes and hair styled perfectly, I got lost in everything and forgot about my worries. It was easy for me to get lost in my work, and I was fine until Kai grabbed onto my arm and dragged me behind the familiar black curtain.
I could see that he had put on his favorite pair of jeans and I hadn’t seen the top he was wearing, so I assumed that it was new. His hair had been cut and dyed, something that wasn’t done when he left me the night before. I frowned as I walked behind him, and for the first time in a long time, I felt that he was trying to hide something from me.
“Kai! Ruki!”
In front of me Kai smiled and all but ran towards the table. “Hi!” He waited for Aoi to stand up and hug him before settling himself against the other man, the dark haired man’s arm hung around his shoulders.
I glanced at the table and froze. I breathed in only to find myself still unable to look away from the pair of deep brown eyes that belonged to the one and only person I wanted to see that night.
“Ruki!” I quickly turned my head to see Reita standing. “How are you feeling, Kai-san said you were ill yesterday when Aoi called, so we weren’t sure if we’d be seeing you tonight.”
I swallowed hard and smiled. “I’m feeling much better. Thank you for worrying.”
Reita nodded and putting a hand on my back, led me to the table. I sat down between him and Uruha, who I sat slightly closer to.
“How have you been Ruki?” Reita questioned filling up a glass of wine for me, I noticed that it was my favorite and I frowned for a split second, not long enough for anyone to notice except maybe Kai, but he was too busy fixing Aoi’s hair to notice.
“Good. But how have you been? You haven’t come to see me lately.” I looked up and met his eyes, scooting even closer to Uruha, who I hadn’t been able to say so much as a word to since I arrived at the table.
“I’m sorry.” Reita smiled and bowed his head slightly. “Me and Aoi have been out of town.”
“But I missed you.” I did the best pout I could manage when I felt Uruha’s fingers slowly entwine with mine underneath the table. I squeezed his hand gently but didn’t dare turn my head towards him.
“Well, what can I do to make it up to you?” Reita leaned over the table slightly and I moved our hands so that he couldn’t see them.
I took a sip of my wine and raised an eyebrow. “Well…” I let my eyes travel over him and blinked before biting my lip. “Never mind. If I think of something I’ll let you know.”
“Oh Uruha-kun! You haven’t said a word all night!”
For a brief second I panicked and jumped in my seat as Kai turned his attention to the man beside me. I saw that he hadn’t moved at all and sighed.
“I’m sorry Kai-kun.” I could finally turn my attention to the man next to me. I could tell that he had dressed up as well, although not as much as the night before and that thought made me blush.
“Uru-kun is probably tired.” I let the smile return to my lips and I placed my free hand on Uruha’s arm, which was resting on the table. “He must have had a long day at work.”
He nodded slightly and turned to me. “I am.” He met my eyes and winked slightly. “I worked a double shift today and I couldn’t sleep well last night.”
“Oh? Were you up all night thinking of someone?” I giggled and leaned away from him briefly rubbing my shoulder against Reita who I heard laugh.
I could see Uruha blush and his mouth drop slightly.
“Ruki,” Aoi laughed and reached out to pat Uruha on the back causing us to both quickly pull our hands apart. “You might need to give Uruha here some pointers on how to get a man, he seems to be having trouble.”
“I could give you some too if you like.” I teased slightly, my skin still tingling from the brief touches I had shared with the other man.
Kai laughed and hugged Aoi who stared at me his mouth hanging open. “See Aoi, I’m not the only one who thinks you should brush up on your dating skills.” Kai purred into his ear.
Uruha laughed and I winked at him. I was so caught up in the moment, in just being able to be in his presence that the time passed so quickly that it felt like he was only there for a few minutes, instead of almost four hours.
Finally Aoi and Kai stood up and I frowned at them confused. “I’ll be back in a few minutes Ruki!” Kai grinned and quickly linked arms with the taller man.
“Well, I guess this means goodbye too.” Reita grinned almost apologetically.
“I’ll just walk Uruha-kun out and I’ll be right back.” I leaned forward and whispered in his ear. I could see his eyes light up behind his blond and brown bangs and he nodded. I stood and waited for Uruha to grab his coat and follow me out of the club.
I carefully glanced behind us as we got into the elevator, making sure that no one followed us before closing the doors and wrapping my arms around him.
I felt Uruha pull me closer to his chest and run a hand through my hair. “Hey,” he muttered against my temple.
“Hi,” I smiled and breathed in deeply, taking in all of him. “I missed you.”
“You just saw me yesterday, and never mind all of tonight.” He laughed and titled my chin upwards.
“You know what I mean.” I pouted and he smiled down gently at me.
“I know, and I missed you too.” He paused and slowly brushed the hair from my eyes. I breathed in deeply and blinked up at him, wanting more then anything to close the distance between us. He leaned down slightly and I felt my heart jumping in my chest. “Ruki,” he whispered and ran his thumb across my cheek.
I opened my mouth but jumped as my phone started vibrating in my pocket. “I…” I blushed and turned away. “I have to go.” I pulled away much to my disappointment.
“I know.” He bowed his head slightly. “Can I call you later?”
“I won’t get home until after six, I don’t want you staying up all night.” I glanced at my phone and quickly silenced it.
“I won’t. I’ll just call you when I get up for work.” He reached over and took my hand.
I raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Promise?”
“Promise.” He nodded and squeezed my hand. “Goodnight Ruki.”
“Goodnight Uruha.” I opened the elevator door and waved as he pressed the button that would take him to the street. I turned and quickly made my way back to Reita.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as I came up behind him. “I’m back, did you miss me?”
He turned in my embrace and I moved back slightly. “You know I did.” He smiled.
I reached out and helped him to his feet walking him towards the side exit.
“Will I see you again this week?” I asked as I held his hand as we walked up the stairs.
“I don’t think so, I have to leave town for a few days. But I’ll come back next week sometime.” He smiled and brushed the hair away from my face in a way that was not much different then the way Uruha had moments before except it didn’t bring the same butterflies to my stomach.
“I’ll be looking forward to it Reita-kun.” I got on my tiptoes and quickly pecked his cheek. I could see him blush as I opened the door for him.
“Goodnight Ruki.” He smiled and left the building. I watched until he disappeared around the corner before sighing and going back inside.
It wasn’t the first time that I kissed him, and I didn’t feel like I was cheating on Uruha, just doing my job, but that didn’t mean I liked doing it.
Back inside the club I ended up sitting with Kyo. I found my eyes were drawn to the shorter man as he talked, the way his eyes sparkled and how he moved so naturally, even though I could tell that everything about his actions were fake. It was beautiful in a sort of tragic sort of way, I wondered how something so fake could be seen as something beautiful. I don’t know if everything about him was an act or if that was who he was, or even if some where in time he had become who he pretended to be.
I realized that it didn’t matter because after the doors were closed and his hair had lost it’s style and his makeup was off, I could see happiness in his eyes, and at the end of the day, if you could be happy with who you were and could live with what you did, and still find good and love in the world, then maybe none of the other stuff mattered.
And as always, the boys ^^
.:.Host Ruki.:.Host Kai.:.Host Kyo.:.Host Toshiya.:.Uruha.:.Aoi.:.Reita.:.
.:.My Fanfic Archive.:.
Author: xlostheavenx
Genre: AU, fluff, angst
Part: 3/?
Rating: R-NC17
Bands: the GazettE, mentions of others
Pairings: UruhaxRuki, MiyavixKai, onesided ReitaxRuki, onesided AoixKai, mention of other pairings
Synopsis: ”I’m drawn to you, every part of me is and as much as I try to forget you and forget about what I feel, that connection is still there and I don’t want to try to pretend that it doesn’t exist!”
Disclaimer: Don't own...
Comments: Here’s Part 3, I really like this part and I hope you all do too!!
Prologue.:. Part 1.:. Part 2
Part 3
The next morning, or rather afternoon, Kai did slightly lecture me but gave up when I began to complain about my head hurting then he just sighed and went to get me aspirin and a cup of water.
Miyavi, who had been in town, came bounding out of the bathroom just as I swallowed the pills, and they left on a date. I was grateful for the time alone.
As time passed, Reita came to the club more and more often, and before I knew it, I had known him for over a year.
I realized that I had known Uruha too for that length of time. When we were alone, we kept the conversation as light as possible, but I still felt the same spark that I did the first time I had ever saw him.
I was out shopping one day alone, because Kai was off with Miyavi somewhere when I walked into an upscale store.
“Ruki-san?” I heard a voice call and I nearly jumped out of my skin until I heard a soft giggle and I turned. “Hi.”
I recognized the smile in an instant. “Hi Uruha. What are you doing here?”
“I work here.”
I looked around. “Oh.” I could feel myself blushing. It was the first time I had ever seen him outside of my work and I wasn’t really sure who he was expecting. I wasn’t wearing any makeup and instead had opted for a dark pair of sunglasses.
“Is today your day off?” He asked leaning against the counter and I moved closer to him.
“No, I just don’t start for about another hour.” I was beginning to relax as he nodded.
He began to play with his nametag. “Is there anything I can help you find?”
“No, I’m alright. I just got kicked out my apartment for awhile because K-, because my roommate’s boyfriend is in town.”
Uruha brushed his hair back and laughed. “Well at least you know your place in the world.”
“Yeah.” I switched the bags I was carrying from one hand to the other. I was nervous and I wasn’t exactly sure what to say.
To me Uruha looked so good right then, he seemed to be completely at ease, not like when I saw him at the club, and he had a certain charm about him that made my throat dry, that made me fumble with my words.
“Hey, it’s about time for my break, I was going to get a drink at the café down the street, did you want to come with me?” He asked playing with his shirt.
“Sure, I should grab something before work.” I nodded before I even knew what I was doing.
“Great, just let me go tell Yuki that I’m leaving for a bit.” He disappeared into a back room and I waited by the door, kicking the ground every so often until he returned with a coat hanging over his arm. “Ready?” He opened the door for me and I blushed as he led me down the street, talking about some of the crazy customers he had had that day. “I hope I’m not talking too much.” He said as we entered the small restaurant.
“Not at all, it’s nice to hear your voice.” I laughed lightly as we got in line to order. Once we got our drinks he led me through a park.
“It’s a short cut.” He said before shaking his head. “Okay, it’s not, but I like to go this way, just so I can have a little break from everything else in life. It’s sort of my hide out.”
“I used to have one of those back home, expect it wasn’t a park, it was a beach. I would always walk on the sand when I went home from school even if it was ten minutes out of my way.” I confessed looking around.
I shivered slightly and he frowned. “Are you cold?”
It was early fall, and even though the sun was still warm, there was a slight breeze that had been stealing my warmth as it got late in the day. “A little.” I admitted. All I was wearing was a thin long sleeved shirt.
He stopped walking and bending over he put his cup on the ground. “Turn around.” He said and I did so without question, then he wrapped his jacket around me. “Better?” He asked as he picked his drink back up.
“Yes,” I could feel my face burning and licked my lips. “Thank you.”
He nodded and we walked a bit more. “Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?” His voice hadn’t changed tone and I was surprised at the confidence in it.
Then it hit me what he said and I blinked a few times. “What?” I stopped walking
“Well…I mean…we’ve known each other for awhile, and I’ve…I’ve sort of developed some feelings towards you, and I thought maybe you felt the same, so I was wondering if I could take you out on a date, for dinner or something. If lunch is better we could do that too.” He turned and met my eyes.
My throat instantly went dry and I swear I could hear my heartbeat echoing. “Say no!” My mind was screaming and I could feel my legs going weak. My hands trembled and I couldn’t focus my eyes properly.
This could not be happening. It wasn’t supposed to happen, it wasn’t allowed to happen.
Uruha stood there looking at me, his eyes seemed to be desperately trying to catch mine, but I wouldn’t let him. But I couldn’t hide myself either.
I let out the breath that I had been holding and the pain in my chest lessened slightly.
No, no, no! “Yes.” No! I couldn’t do this, no matter how much I wanted it, no matter how much I dreamed about it. I was going against everything that I had learned, everything that I had forced myself to forget about.
But as soon as I saw his smile spread across his face, I didn’t care about any of that anymore.
“Great! I’ll stop by your place tomorrow then?”
“No!” I couldn’t stop myself from panicking.
He frowned and took a step closer. “What’s the matter Ruki?” He began slowly.
“It’s just…I can’t let…Kai…anyone…” I felt my cheeks heating up.
“I understand.” He said with a smile. “I’ll meet you down the block from your place then?”
“I’d like that.” I gave him directions to a small store at the end of my street. “I’ll just stay home from work sick…Kai usually leaves around… three thirty so anytime after that we can get together.”
“Four-thirty then?” I nodded and he grinned before leaning over and hugging me. I let myself get lost in his embrace for a moment, and breathing him in I could forget my anxiety for the moment.
“I have to go.” I whispered my eyes still closed.
“Me too.” He pulled away. “Have a good night Ruki.” He squeezed my hand and turned to go back to his work, I watched as he walked away before sprinting to the club.
I ran in the doors breathing heavily, I hadn’t noticed how much time had passed while I was with Uruha.
“Hey Ruki, forget you had to work?” Kyo laughed as he sorted through some papers on the bar.
“No…no I just missed my train.” I breathed in deeply and ran a hand through my hair.
“Hi Ruki!” Kai walked in the door. “Is that a new coat?” He asked frowning slightly.
“Huh?” I looked down to see that I was still wearing Uruha’s jacket. “Uh, yeah. I got it while I was out today…since I got cold…”
“It’s nice, but it looks a little big.” Kai came over to me and adjusted the material.
“It was the last one.” I swallowed hard and I could feel my cheeks heating up.
“Oh well, it looks good.” He looked around. “Let’s finish getting ready. The wind did a real number on your hair today.” He smiled and laughed.
I followed him to the back and let him style my hair and do my makeup while he chatted away about his day with Miyavi. I knew that if I was going to be able to convince him that I was sick I would have to start that night. I knew that it was going to be hard hide Uruha from him.
“Hey Ruki,” We were putting away the clean cups about half way through the night.
“Hmm?”
“Are you alright, you haven’t seemed like your usual self tonight.” Kai’s hand rested on my back and made me face him.
I swallowed hard. I hadn’t been talking much that night, both because I was trying to figure out things with Uruha and also because I knew that I had to pretend to be sick. I think the first reason was more the change he noticed in me.
“I…uh, I don’t know. My head hurts a bit and I just feel a bit off.” I shrugged.
He frowned. “Do you want to go home? Maybe get some rest?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m alright.” I grabbed a bottle of champagne and left to go entertain with Kyo. I could feel Kai’s eyes burning into my back and I knew he was more worried then suspicious at that point.
I got through the night alright, and purposely didn’t set my alarm when we got home. I heard Kai get up in the morning and stayed in bed until he knocked on my door.
“Ruki? Ruki are you up?” I kept my eyes shut as he turned the knob and stepped into the room. “Ruki.” I cracked open one eye slightly and groaned before rolling over. “Hey Ru, are you okay?” He stepped into the room.
“Fine.” I said sitting up before promptly flopping back down. I could hear Kai sigh and then he was sitting on my bed.
He rolled me over slightly and brushed the hair from my face so he could feel my forehead. “You’re not too warm…how do you feel?”
“Alright.” I slipped out from under his arm and stood up. I took a few steps before grabbing my head and swaying.
“Ruki!” I felt Kai’s arms encircle me and I let myself briefly smile knowing that he believed that I was sick. “You’re going back to bed, I don’t care what you say.”
I nodded weakly and let him lead me back to my bed. I lay down and closed my eyes for a few seconds before quickly sitting up. “I have to call Kyo-san!”
Kai shook his head and pushed me back to my mattress. “I’ll take care of it.” I closed my eyes and waited until he closed the door to get up and pick out my clothes for the night. I was careful to listen to his movements around the apartment so I could crawl into bed, when he came back to my room.
“Ruki, I’m going to leave these pills for you to take here. Make sure to drink this water too. I’ll call you later to see how you are okay?”
I nodded my eyes still closed. “Thank you.” I murmured.
He leaned over and patted my head. “Just take care of yourself okay?” He stood up and walked out of the room. I waited until I heard the front door close before getting up and frantically getting ready. It was four thirty when I ran out my front door. I slowed to a walk as the store I was meeting Uruha at came into view. I breathed deeply and closed my eyes as I reached up to open the door.
“Hey.” The voice made me jump and I turned quickly losing my balance on the step.
I felt his arm circle my waist and catch me. I looked up at him, my cheeks turning red quickly. “Hi Uruha.” My voice was weak even to my own ears.
“Hi Ruki.” He arm didn’t move and the palm of his hand was pressed against the small of my back. I shivered slightly at his touch. “You know, I had no idea you were such a klutz.” He smiled and I laughed nervously.
“Neither did I.”
“Are you ready?” He looked down at me and I nodded. “There’s a nice little place about a ten minute walk from here, if you’re up for that.”
“For sure.” He turned and led me down the block his fingers resting lightly on my back, in a way that made sure that I followed him and kept me close at the same time.
“Did Kai say anything?” He asked awhile later.
“No. He thinks I’m in bed sleeping.” I hung my head slightly. “I don’t like lying to him…”
“Then why are you? Why don’t you tell him you have a date?”
His words made me blush and I swallowed hard. “Because…you don’t understand.” I met his eyes as I looked sideways at him.
“Then explain it to me Ruki. I do want to know. From the first moment I saw you, I wanted to know everything about you. I wanted to know every story, every secret, every feeling and every thought.” He turned away hesitantly. “I know, that’s what everyone is supposed to want when they see you but…but you didn’t look at me the same way as you did your…clients.”
I sighed. “I could hide myself completely around everyone else except for you Uruha. I don’t know why. But the moment I saw you too…I just…” I turned my gaze to the ground and shoved my hands into my pockets.
He laughed lightly. “Well, at least we feel the same way.” I couldn’t help but laugh as well. “I guess we’re past that awkward part of the first date.”
“I guess so.” I shook my head and he stopped in front of a small restaurant.
“This is the place. I used to come here when I first moved to town.” He smiled and instantly I felt at ease, as if the rest of the world didn’t matter.
I followed him inside and we were seated in a booth next to the window. I brushed the hair from my eyes and looked over at him. I couldn’t really believe that I was sitting there with him.
“Its nice.” I looked around. The place was modest but quite cute looking.
“You don’t have to lie, I’m sure you’re taken to a lot nicer places.” I looked over at Uruha and he was looking down at his menu tracing circles on it with his finger.
“What do you mean?” I fidgeted in my seat.
“It’s just…I’m sure that you get brought out a lot and…well, I know that this isn’t the fanciest place around.” He bit his lip but refused to look up.
“Uruha, look at me.” I said softly and waited until his eyes met mine. “I don’t date. I haven’t been out with anyone since I was…seventeen and that was before I moved here.” I swallowed hard. “You see…the thing is…that even though I’m technically allowed to date, I’m just not allowed to date any of my…clients. Kai, and Kyo have told me, have told everyone on numerous times that we’re not allowed to fall in love with them. That’s what I was trying to say before, why we can’t tell anyone, because Uruha, I like you, and I have since the first time I ever saw you. I’m drawn to you, every part of me is and as much as I try to forget you and forget about what I feel, that connection is still there and I don’t want to try to pretend that it doesn’t exist!” I frowned slightly. “I don’t want Kai to be right. He said that hosts usually date other hosts because other people don’t understand us, they don’t get our line of work.”
“Ruki, I-” He started but I raised my hand and he closed his mouth.
“Just let me finish, please.” I breathed in. “I…I want you to know that…that I’m putting a lot on the line sitting here with you, but…but I wouldn’t have it any other way. What I do for work is work, but…I would never do anything there that would do anything to hurt any relationship I’m in. I want to get to know you Uruha, I really do, more then anything else, that’s why I’m sitting here with you. Please don’t doubt that.”
He nodded slowly. “I’m sorry.” He began quietly. “It’s just…I’ve seen the attention that men pay to you, I’ve seen the money they have, and the things they could give to you. And I’m…I’m just a bit self conscious about it because I don’t have the money that say Reita has or…” He hung his head in defeat.
“I don’t care.” I said and he looked up quickly. “I knew that, or well I guessed that and I’m still sitting here with you. Not with Reita, not with anyone else.” I paused and bit my lip. “My name is Takanori, and I grew up in a town of about two thousand people. I graduated with honors and turned down a university scholarship because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Then I moved here and worked in a boutique until I met Kai and he brought me to the club and then I became a host. Kai’s my roommate and other then that the only friends I have in town are the people at the club that I work with. That’s about it.”
Uruha stared at me for a minute before nodding slowly. “Thank you. I didn’t mean to sound like a jerk or anything.”
“It’s alright. I’m probably more like you then anyone I work with.” I laughed. “I didn’t mean to overreact.”
“Maybe we should look at the menus.” He said after a minute of us just looking at each other.
When our waiter finally came we both ordered noodles and after our drinks were brought to us, Uruha moved around the table and sat next to me. I looked sideways at him and blushed.
“You look nice.” I said.
“Thanks, so do you.” He raised his hand and brushed the hair from my face. “So…”
I had to laugh, out of all the times we had seen each other and talked this time was different. “It’s weird isn’t it?” I breathed in deeply. “I mean, we’ve known each other over a year now, and still…we don’t know how to talk to each other, and when we do, it’s so intense.”
He laughed as well. “I guess we’re going to have to learn.”
“We’d better.” I smiled.
“Why’s that?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Well, if we’re going to be seeing each other...” I stopped talking and looked up at him hesitantly.
“Which we are?”
“Yes?”
Our hands met on the table and his fingers entwined with mine. It was one of the first times we had ever really touched and my throat went dry. I felt like my skin was on fire and I loved it.
“Good. I was hoping that I didn’t work up my courage for months just to see you once.” He grinned and I relaxed. I was afraid that I had scared him away by talking to him earlier, but I knew that if we were to have a relationship, he would need to know these things. It was better to do it now then later. “Can I ask you one thing though?”
“Ask me anything.”
“What do I call you? Ruki or Takanori?”
I frowned and thought for a second. “Call me whatever you want. I told you my real name because I want you to know it so that you have a part of me that none of my clients do. So that you know that you’re dating me and not the person I have to pretend to be.” I smiled slightly and met his eyes.
Our date went well and I found myself feeling more and more for him. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to be sitting there with him.
The night ended all too soon and he was saying goodbye to me.
“So, can I call you?” He asked shuffling his feet and I nodded, quickly scribbling down my cell and home phone numbers.
“I’ll see you soon?” I blinked up at him uncertainly. Although I was used to flirting all the time, I had never really been in a serious relationship before.
He reached down and brushed the hair from my face. “Of course.” Then he smiled and I swear my heart skipped a beat. “Have a good night Taka.”
“You too Uruha.” He reached down and squeezed my hand before turning and walking away. I watched until he turned the corner before making my way up to my apartment.
It was still early and I knew that Kai wouldn’t be home for at least five more hours. I guess it wasn’t really early, but not as late as I was used to. I stripped out of my date clothes and changed into a pair of pajama pants before settling myself on the couch.
“Ruki,” I moaned and swatted the hand that was gently shaking me. “Ruki wake up!”
I opened my eyes reluctantly and blinked up at Kai. “When did you get home?” I asked sitting up not aware that I had fallen asleep.
“About nine hours ago. I just figured I’d better wake you up so you would have time to shower before work.” He smiled and moved to feel my forehead. “How are you feeling?”
I frowned. “Fine. Thanks.” I stretched and stood up.
Kai studied me for a minute before all the concern vanished from his face. “Good, I missed you last night.” He then reached out and began to drag me down the hall. “Now, Aoi is coming tonight so you have to look nice.”
I groaned. “I always have to look nice.” I pouted slightly and he shook his head. “Besides why do I have to dress up for Aoi?”
“You’re dressing up for Reita. When was the last time you saw him anyways?” He began to dig through my closet.
I shifted slightly. “I don’t remember.” I confessed. I knew the last time I saw Uruha at the club though, it was on a Thursday and he was wearing lost sleeve white shirt and the top few buttons were undone.
“What about this one?”
I realized that I was getting lost in my own thoughts and not listening to what Kai was saying. I knew that he had been chatting away to me, but what exactly he was saying was beyond me.
“Yeah, sure.” I agreed and he pulled out a black silk shirt and proceeded to pull off my tank top before buttoning only the middle buttons. “Kai, don’t you think this makes me look a bit slutty?”
He laughed. “Of course not, just very very appealing.” He winked.
I sighed and let him fuss over me for the next few hours at home and then at the club. I didn’t know if I should be excited or scared of Reita coming. I was excited because I liked the possibility of seeing Uruha again and scared that someone might catch on.
But as I walked out into the dimly lit club, dark makeup around my eyes and hair styled perfectly, I got lost in everything and forgot about my worries. It was easy for me to get lost in my work, and I was fine until Kai grabbed onto my arm and dragged me behind the familiar black curtain.
I could see that he had put on his favorite pair of jeans and I hadn’t seen the top he was wearing, so I assumed that it was new. His hair had been cut and dyed, something that wasn’t done when he left me the night before. I frowned as I walked behind him, and for the first time in a long time, I felt that he was trying to hide something from me.
“Kai! Ruki!”
In front of me Kai smiled and all but ran towards the table. “Hi!” He waited for Aoi to stand up and hug him before settling himself against the other man, the dark haired man’s arm hung around his shoulders.
I glanced at the table and froze. I breathed in only to find myself still unable to look away from the pair of deep brown eyes that belonged to the one and only person I wanted to see that night.
“Ruki!” I quickly turned my head to see Reita standing. “How are you feeling, Kai-san said you were ill yesterday when Aoi called, so we weren’t sure if we’d be seeing you tonight.”
I swallowed hard and smiled. “I’m feeling much better. Thank you for worrying.”
Reita nodded and putting a hand on my back, led me to the table. I sat down between him and Uruha, who I sat slightly closer to.
“How have you been Ruki?” Reita questioned filling up a glass of wine for me, I noticed that it was my favorite and I frowned for a split second, not long enough for anyone to notice except maybe Kai, but he was too busy fixing Aoi’s hair to notice.
“Good. But how have you been? You haven’t come to see me lately.” I looked up and met his eyes, scooting even closer to Uruha, who I hadn’t been able to say so much as a word to since I arrived at the table.
“I’m sorry.” Reita smiled and bowed his head slightly. “Me and Aoi have been out of town.”
“But I missed you.” I did the best pout I could manage when I felt Uruha’s fingers slowly entwine with mine underneath the table. I squeezed his hand gently but didn’t dare turn my head towards him.
“Well, what can I do to make it up to you?” Reita leaned over the table slightly and I moved our hands so that he couldn’t see them.
I took a sip of my wine and raised an eyebrow. “Well…” I let my eyes travel over him and blinked before biting my lip. “Never mind. If I think of something I’ll let you know.”
“Oh Uruha-kun! You haven’t said a word all night!”
For a brief second I panicked and jumped in my seat as Kai turned his attention to the man beside me. I saw that he hadn’t moved at all and sighed.
“I’m sorry Kai-kun.” I could finally turn my attention to the man next to me. I could tell that he had dressed up as well, although not as much as the night before and that thought made me blush.
“Uru-kun is probably tired.” I let the smile return to my lips and I placed my free hand on Uruha’s arm, which was resting on the table. “He must have had a long day at work.”
He nodded slightly and turned to me. “I am.” He met my eyes and winked slightly. “I worked a double shift today and I couldn’t sleep well last night.”
“Oh? Were you up all night thinking of someone?” I giggled and leaned away from him briefly rubbing my shoulder against Reita who I heard laugh.
I could see Uruha blush and his mouth drop slightly.
“Ruki,” Aoi laughed and reached out to pat Uruha on the back causing us to both quickly pull our hands apart. “You might need to give Uruha here some pointers on how to get a man, he seems to be having trouble.”
“I could give you some too if you like.” I teased slightly, my skin still tingling from the brief touches I had shared with the other man.
Kai laughed and hugged Aoi who stared at me his mouth hanging open. “See Aoi, I’m not the only one who thinks you should brush up on your dating skills.” Kai purred into his ear.
Uruha laughed and I winked at him. I was so caught up in the moment, in just being able to be in his presence that the time passed so quickly that it felt like he was only there for a few minutes, instead of almost four hours.
Finally Aoi and Kai stood up and I frowned at them confused. “I’ll be back in a few minutes Ruki!” Kai grinned and quickly linked arms with the taller man.
“Well, I guess this means goodbye too.” Reita grinned almost apologetically.
“I’ll just walk Uruha-kun out and I’ll be right back.” I leaned forward and whispered in his ear. I could see his eyes light up behind his blond and brown bangs and he nodded. I stood and waited for Uruha to grab his coat and follow me out of the club.
I carefully glanced behind us as we got into the elevator, making sure that no one followed us before closing the doors and wrapping my arms around him.
I felt Uruha pull me closer to his chest and run a hand through my hair. “Hey,” he muttered against my temple.
“Hi,” I smiled and breathed in deeply, taking in all of him. “I missed you.”
“You just saw me yesterday, and never mind all of tonight.” He laughed and titled my chin upwards.
“You know what I mean.” I pouted and he smiled down gently at me.
“I know, and I missed you too.” He paused and slowly brushed the hair from my eyes. I breathed in deeply and blinked up at him, wanting more then anything to close the distance between us. He leaned down slightly and I felt my heart jumping in my chest. “Ruki,” he whispered and ran his thumb across my cheek.
I opened my mouth but jumped as my phone started vibrating in my pocket. “I…” I blushed and turned away. “I have to go.” I pulled away much to my disappointment.
“I know.” He bowed his head slightly. “Can I call you later?”
“I won’t get home until after six, I don’t want you staying up all night.” I glanced at my phone and quickly silenced it.
“I won’t. I’ll just call you when I get up for work.” He reached over and took my hand.
I raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Promise?”
“Promise.” He nodded and squeezed my hand. “Goodnight Ruki.”
“Goodnight Uruha.” I opened the elevator door and waved as he pressed the button that would take him to the street. I turned and quickly made my way back to Reita.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as I came up behind him. “I’m back, did you miss me?”
He turned in my embrace and I moved back slightly. “You know I did.” He smiled.
I reached out and helped him to his feet walking him towards the side exit.
“Will I see you again this week?” I asked as I held his hand as we walked up the stairs.
“I don’t think so, I have to leave town for a few days. But I’ll come back next week sometime.” He smiled and brushed the hair away from my face in a way that was not much different then the way Uruha had moments before except it didn’t bring the same butterflies to my stomach.
“I’ll be looking forward to it Reita-kun.” I got on my tiptoes and quickly pecked his cheek. I could see him blush as I opened the door for him.
“Goodnight Ruki.” He smiled and left the building. I watched until he disappeared around the corner before sighing and going back inside.
It wasn’t the first time that I kissed him, and I didn’t feel like I was cheating on Uruha, just doing my job, but that didn’t mean I liked doing it.
Back inside the club I ended up sitting with Kyo. I found my eyes were drawn to the shorter man as he talked, the way his eyes sparkled and how he moved so naturally, even though I could tell that everything about his actions were fake. It was beautiful in a sort of tragic sort of way, I wondered how something so fake could be seen as something beautiful. I don’t know if everything about him was an act or if that was who he was, or even if some where in time he had become who he pretended to be.
I realized that it didn’t matter because after the doors were closed and his hair had lost it’s style and his makeup was off, I could see happiness in his eyes, and at the end of the day, if you could be happy with who you were and could live with what you did, and still find good and love in the world, then maybe none of the other stuff mattered.
And as always, the boys ^^
.:.Host Ruki.:.Host Kai.:.Host Kyo.:.Host Toshiya.:.Uruha.:.Aoi.:.Reita.:.
.:.My Fanfic Archive.:.