[Fanfic] Your Music Ch.6
Title: Your Music
Type: Multi-chapter
Author: Me ^~^
Fandom: Hey!Say!JUMP
Pairing(s): main - YamaChii (Yamada Ryosuke & Chinen Yuri), ChiiTaro (Chinen Yuri & Morimoto Ryutaro), MoriJima (Morimoto Ryutaro & Nakajima Yuto), YumaChii (Chinen Yuri & Nakayama Yuma), slight - NakaKen (Nakayama Yuma & Nakajima Kento), hints of pairings from other Johnny's groups
Genre(s): Romance, friendship, love triangles, hint of drama, angst in some chapters
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own them ..but they own my heart ^-^
Summary: Yamada has been acting weirdly towards Chinen lately, and Chinen is borthered. More unexplainable things start to happen when Chinen moves into Yamada's room, and Ryutaro moves into Yuto's room. Complications start to arise when each one start to realize their true feelings, and are faced with rivals to fight for their love.
Notes: I just realized I suck at writing summaries.. DX haha!! sorry about that. This is my first multi-chapter fanfic, so I'm sorry if it's bad, and if it doesn't suit your likings. Again, I'm not so confident about this, because I think I wrote it making the story too slow. I'm sorry! I tried the best I can! Hope you still enjoy reading, though!! >~<
Notes for this chappie: Minna!! I'm really sorry for always updating late!! *bows down and asks for forgiveness* m(__)m uhm.. about this chapter.. I think it's confusing.. haha! gomen ne.. :( and I think part two is sad aswell.. I'm also not sure if you'll like it.. haaahhh i'm not confident again >.< but as usual, I'm still hoping that you'll enjoy this!! from the bottom of my heart! >v<
Warnings: mean Yuma!!(?) and characters starting to dislike him
Updated Part 3!!~ C:
[Previous Chapters: Chapter One: Unbelievable | Chapter Two: No One Knows Anything | Chapter Three: Tell Me | Chapter Four: Christmas Emotions | Chapter Five: Reacting Without Thinking]
Your Music
Chapter Six: The Past
Part One: He Annoys Me
..Ahh.. I really don't know what to think anymore. It was the morning after that night when Johnny announced that there will be another group which he'll have to be in, with B.I. Shadow, Chinen, and.. Yuma.
That alone, was already too much for Yamada to handle, but what had added to his uneasy feeling was the situation after they left Johnny's building last night.
The night before
After the man had finished with all that he had to say to the boys, he dismissed them. While saying that all the members of NYC Boys will meet up soon, he waved to the three walking out of his office.
Yamada found it admittingly disturbing that Chinen and Yuma won't stop their chatting, as they made their way to the building's entrance again. He made it look like he didn't care, but he knew that it was annoying him inside.
I'm here too, you know. He rolled his eyes, and decided he'd just forget that he was walking with them, then planned to walk over to their side so he can go infront of them.
But just when there was one more step left, until he took over the two, Yamada's eyes moved on it's own and caught a sight of Chinen he's never seen before.
It's the first time I've seen him smile like that.. Yamada didn't notice his quick glance turn into a long stare, as Chinen continued his talk with Yuma.
This time, normally Chinen wouldn't really just ignore Yamada and leave him out of all the conversations. He wasn't that rude. But it was obviously different if he was with Yuma.
So.. If you're with me, you become real angry and annoyed, but when you're with.. this guy, you're all happy and act all cutesy?! Yamada suddenly became irritated by this. And.. you act as if I'm not here.. Like, the world only revolves around the two of you.. Like, you're both in your own 'dreamland'.. Like, I don't exist..
Yamada then stopped and stood still, - stiff - in his footsteps. It was as if the floor hurriedly turned to ice, and froze his feet before he could take another step forward.
Why.. do I seem so bothered..? He couldn't find an answer to this question, however hard he thought. And it was his own aswell, so shouldn't he know how to reply to that question?
Yamada kept his gaze on the one in his mind, wanting to figure out why he was really happy. What's so important about that 'Yuma-kun' anyway? He immediately shook his head, thinking that it didn't matter to him. Why would I care? It's not my business.
Even though he had already concluded this, Yamada still had that weird, nagging feeling inside him, tugging on his heart. That feeling became more uncomfortable as he scanned down Chinen's right side and noticed his hand was clinging onto Yuma's arm.
He still couldn't move from that spot he was frozen to, and before Yamada knew it, he had clenched both his fists as he saw Yuma and Chinen hug each other before their goodbyes.
Morning after
What was that? That feeling inside me.. what was it? No matter how hard he tried to stop thinking about what happened last night, Yamada still couldn't get it out of his mind. It just kept swarming around his thoughts, over and over. And when we got back to the JUMP house, that annoying smile of his never faded. We didn't even argue or anything, because he was too busy giggling to himself.
Yamada was now walking aimlessly around the house. His brain had been too occupied about the recent situations, that he only realized his feet had led him into the living room when Takaki called out to him. "Yo, Yamada! Stop walking before you hit the-!"
His warning was too late, as everyone saw Yamada bang his head on the big standing lamp. "..Ow." He said simply, rubbing his forehead slightly.
After a few seconds, he finally came back to his senses. That's probably what I needed. He made his way over to the couch, and it was only then that he heard the other's laughter.
"You-Head-Hit the-Lamp!!" Takaki managed between his loud laughs.
Yamada just looked at him, not really bothered to utter a response to his childish act.
He surveyed around the room, and saw that Yabu, Hikaru, Daiki, and Yuto were all there, just either sitting on the other couches, or on the floor.
"What happened to you, Yama-chan? It's like you've been mummified. You had no idea where you were going, did you?" Yabu asked, still slightly chuckling, at seeing the dazed Yamada, which no one usually sees everyday. Not even every week.
"Oh, uhm.." He wasn't the type to lie, and he thought that there was no point in hiding that from the others anyway. So he carried on with his sentence, in his normal tone. "I've just been thinking about what Johnny-san said last night."
This caught everyone else's attention even more, and all their eyes turned to Yamada's direction. "Why? What did he say?"
Clearly, Johnny hadn't informed JUMP yet about the new group. This surprised Yamada a bit, since the man should've told them at least by mail messages, or a phone call. But it looked like he hadn't, so Yamada explained. "Well, he told me and Chinen that we'd be in another group, like a side group to JUMP."
"What?! What do you mean?! Who with?!" The giggling from everyone had completely ended, even Takaki's, and they became serious.
"With the Junior group, B.I. Shadow, and with this guy, who I only met last night." Yamada still kept his voice steady.
"W-What?! Wait.. I'm seriously confused right now.." Daiki stated.
"So, you're saying that Johnny-san wants to debut B.I. Shadow.. with you, and Chii.. and this new guy?" Hikaru thought aloud.
"Okay.. I get what the old man wants, but.. who's the guy?" Takaki asked, his one eyebrow raised.
God, do I have to talk about him now..?! Yamada had no intention of speaking about that guy, but he guessed that he'd have to. Trying not to sound too annoyed, he began explaning more. "Well.. he's not really new. I remembered Johnny-san saying that he just came back from America, and also Chibinen said that he's been there for five years.." Yamada couldn't help but wince, as he recalled the scene when Chinen ran and hugged Yuma for that long moment, as he just stood outside Johnny's office. That weird feeling came back, and was present in his chest once more. He cringed slightly, but Yamada ignored it as quick as the next second ticked by. He didn't want to be in that state of trance again, where he thought his mind would die out from all the thinking, but still clueless of what he really felt.
"Wait.. Are you talking about.. Yuma..?!" Yuto's voice came high and shocked. Everyone now turned their eyes on him, including Yamada, who could just stare in reply. "That.. Nakayama Yuma?!"
Yamada became curious of how Yuto suddenly reacted. "Yeah.. Why do you seem so worked up about him?"
Right after he heard 'Yeah', everyone noticed Yuto's expression turn into an angered one, as he spoke with a deep, serious voice. "I hate him."
Part Two: Their Bleak Childhood
"What?!" The five asked, all at the same time.
Yamada did know that Yuto's answer would surprise him, but he never would've thought that it was something as strong as hate, that it made him even more surprised.
He kept still though, just sitting on the couch, as everyone else shoved their questions at Yuto. For some reason he couldn't bring himself to ask on his own.
"You hate him? Why?!" No one expected Yuto to have a person who he actually loathed, and now the four were huddled around him.
"How did you get to know him?"
"What happened?"
"How come we don't know about this?"
"I hate him because of what he did to Chii." That sentence was what it took for all of the guys to shut their mouths. At least for a few seconds.
"Okay.. What?"
"Now, I'm really really confused."
Yuto still had that angered expression and his voice's tone remained deep and serious. But you could also sense the fury within. "I'll never forget what he did to Chii. And I'll always hate him for that."
There was silence in the living room.
The five thought that what happened must've been grave. And it seemed that it had a really big impact on Yuto.
The atmosphere was growing dense, as a couple of minutes passed by, without no one uttering a word.
Sooner or later, someone would have to break that deafening muteness, and the eagerness of wanting to know the reason for all that, overtook them. There were still a few moments until, finally there was sound.
"Can.. you tell us what happened..?" Daiki's voice was heard, soft and gentle as he possible could've made it. He knew that in these type of situations, you had to take it delicately and that you should be careful of how you say things, so he tried his best to do exactly that.
Everyone kind of counted on him too. Since they couldn't really open their mouths yet and ask.
They really wanted to know.. because they were concerned. All of them.
Yuto didn't have anything against telling them what happened, but he was just unsure if he could talk about it.
He thought for a while, and however he comtemplated on how to go about this, his answers ended with wanting to tell the others, anyway.
Yuto closed his eyes then took a deep breath.
He looked at the guys, eyes already displaying their worrisome, "It happened before he left. Those five years ago.." The five saw Yuto's pained expression, as he began to reveal their hidden past. And planned to stay quiet all the way through it.
"You guys know that me and Chii were childhood friends right? We've known each other since we were kids, since we were two actually. Because our families were close, and we lived near each other, also.
Well.. I wasn't actually the only one who was that close to Chii.
We've gone to the same schools, and nurseries and all, so I was with him all the time. We were the best of friends and we were so close.. until, he came. Yuma.
I think we were eight by then, when he transferred to our school. He seemed to get along with everyone quickly, but me and Chii made him our new bestfriend.
It was great. I loved those times. Hanging around with my two most close friends. All the things that me and Chii did, we did it with Yuma too. Like when we buy an icecream, we would only get one, then we'd take turns licking it. And like, building sandcastles together, in the sandbox in the park. And like, always going out to play down the river bank. It was the place Chii and I discovered, while we were just randomly walking about the neighbourhood. No one else new about it, and no one else came there, except for the two of us. But when Yuma became our bestfriend, we took him there too.
We were all so close. No one could ever split us three apart. Wherever we went, whatever we did, we were all together.
But something happened..
Three years passed, and yeah, it was our first year of being a Johnny's Junior. We were so happy that all three of us got in.
Anyway, I noticed something.. change in Chii. Whenever we went out, he started acting differently towards Yuma. I began to wonder what was happening, and observed more of his actions and reactions when he was with Yuma.
When I saw him blush, and become nervous at Yuma's usual words, I couldn't help but think that Chii was starting to see him more than just a 'bestfriend'. So.. I asked him.
I asked Chii how he really felt about Yuma, then that's when he said it..
I knew he was telling the truth because Chii doesn't lie to me, and I don't lie to him.
..He said that he'd started to like Yuma. More than a friend, a close bestfriend.. Chii loved Yuma.
I wasn't angry, or disappointed. Infact, I was actually happy hearing that. I cheered him on, and even tried to leave them alone sometimes, when we were together. Making up lame excuses that I'd have to walk my dog or something. Even though both of them knew I didn't have a dog..
A few weeks after Chii and Yuma started to spend more time together, without me, Chii told me the good news.
I was just in the living room of my house, watching TV like I normally do in the evening, when suddenly I heard the door open with a bang. Then Chii came into the living, red puffy cheeks, and trembling with happiness. I walked over to him, grinning at his appearance, and asked him what happened.
"Y-Y-Y-Yuma-kun said he l-l-l-loves me too..!" When Chii said that, his face grew redder, and he just looked too cute, the I couldn't stop my laughter. "And he.. he.. k-k-k-kissed me too..!" That sentence caused me to stop my chuckling. I was happy, sure. But, you know.. I was shocked too..
That night Chii ended up sleeping over my house, and I don't think I actually got to sleep, because he wouldn't stop talking about him and Yuma. Although, I kind of didn't care if I lacked sleep, because I was happy that Chii was loved back by the one he loves.
The next morning, we had to go to the JE building, and you know, do what Juniors do.
Normally we'd meet Yuma by the corner of the street, near our houses, before we'd all go to the Jimushou together. So me and Chii waited for him.. but half an hour passed and there was still no sign of him.
We were worried, but Chii said that we should just go on without him. He said that Yuma might be too shy to face him so soon, and that when we get to the Jimushou he'd be there. It was a pretty believable reason to me, and so I started to follow him to the direction of the building, seeing his cheeks coloured red, once again.
When we got to the Jimushou though, there was still no Yuma. I could see the uneasiness in Chii's eyes, and thought that we should go directly to Johnny-san's, to ask if he knew where Yuma was.
Chii agreed, and when we got to his office, Johnny-san was startled. "He's gone now, boys." Both me and Chii had no idea what he was talking about. And before I could ask for him to clarify, Chii suddenly burst.
"What?! What do you mean?! Where's Yuma-kun?!" His calm attitude completely changed into a really impatient, worried one.
"He's gone to America, boys. His flight was this morning, at six. Wait.. hasn't he told you about this?"
At that exact moment I heard a hard thump against the floor. Chii fell heavily on his knees, floods of tears gushing from his eyes. I quickly ran down beside him, trying to shake him out of it. That spaced out, blank, and still look of his, while crying, really scared me.
I really had no idea of what to do at that time. It all happened so quickly.. Chii was hurt. Hurt so much that he refused to eat for those long days. Hurt so much that he wouldn't talk to anyone, even his family or me. He just stayed in his room, locked himself in, all alone..
At that time, I hated Yuma so much that..!" Yuto's fist slammed on the table, and the guys jumped with shock. He shook his head and didn't continue with that sentence. "..Yuma was Chii's first love. That kiss he gave him was his first kiss also.. And, I mean.. tell Chii that he loves him, and kiss him the night before he moves to America.. Then the next day, having Chii only informed of his moving by Johnny-san and not by Yuma himself.. He didn't even mention anything about America.. One day we're all happy and Chii's wishes finally comes true, and the next we're all sad and he leaves us.. leaving Chii heartbroken.. not telling us he'd be moving.." Yuto quickly turned his head to the side, fighting the tears that blurred his sight, from rolling down his cheeks.
"I hate Yuma."
Everyone kept still. No one managed to speak out a word. They were speechless, stunned, that they couldn't move.
After at least a few minutes, Yuto had faced the five again. Sniffed once, before he carried on.
"Chii started to eat only a bit, in the next week. But he still stayed in his room. I was there in their house everyday. I was so worried about him.. yet I couldn't do anything for him.. I'm his bestfriend.. and I was the only one who could probably make him happy again.. but I couldn't do anything. All I did was just come over, and stand infront of his room. How pathetic!
At night, I could just hear him sobbing. There was no way that he could've possibly slept properly, those nights.
You know, he was only eleven.. that's one more reason why it hurt him so much.
First love, first kiss, with the person he held close in his heart.. gone in the blink of an eye.
He was so young, yet he already felt that type of suffering.
Then one day, the door to his room opened and he came out. I rushed over to him, and hugged him as tight as I could, not caring if I was squeezing him too hard.
When I pulled away.. he smiled. "Yuu, I decided that I'll just forget about me ever loving Yuma-kun.. and him ever loving me back. I'll forget about the feelings I have for him, but I'll still remember that he's our bestfriend. I'll just patiently wait for him to come back here.. and not expect more than us returning to be our usual close, happy friendship." Chii said that but the pain and hurt was still visible in his eyes.
I didn't do anything, though. Chii already made his mind up, and he was determined. Plus, I thought it would be for the best. I didn't want him to suffer any longer.
I was glad that Chii made that decision, but I actually never wanted to see Yuma again.
I hate him for ever causing so much grieve and sorrow to my bestfriend.
The day after that, Chii changed. He changed completely.
He was more lively, and energetic. And he kept smiling and being happy.
It hurt me to see the changed Chii. You know why? Because I knew he was forcing himself. Forcing to show that smile.. that false happiness. He did it for the people around him though.. Because he didn't want us to worry. He wanted to prove that he had entirely erased those sad memories of Yuma, to reassure us that he was really okay.
He was trying so hard.. he never spoke of Yuma again either. It was only occasionally that he'd wonder how he was doing over in America and things like that.
Chii's still acting like this, even now. All these years, displaying his changed personality to the new people he met.. you guys. Although he might've gotten used to it by now.. it doesn't change the fact that he turned into a different person because of that Yuma.
There's propbably still that hole in his heart, you know. And by acting like this he wanted to close it up. But I'm sure that even he knows it wasn't going to work. This didn't keep him from acting like that though.
..So, I've told you why I hate Yuma, and also about our past. But I just want to say.. I don't want you guys to act as if you ever knew about all of this. It would make things worse. It's been so long that I've ever talked about this, and if you start acting differently now, it will just be awkward for all of us."
There was no reply. The others needed time to take all of it in.
Slowly their mouths started to open, finally able to utter a word. "Y-Yeah.. Don't worry. We won't." That was the only reply Yuto got. The guys were still too shocked, and they couldn't properly convey their thoughts out loud. There were too many feelings of sadness they felt for Chii and Yuto.. It was difficult for them to voice it out.
Suddenly, the sound of foot thumping against the carpet broke the stillness. Yuto looked to his side, then saw Yamada get up from the couch and head outside of the living room. "Yamada, where are you going? You won't act different right?"
"I won't." The answer came simply.
"Then promise me that you'll keep an eye on Chii, when he's around Yuma. I'm afraid of what'll happen, now that he came back."
Yamda could only lighty wave his hand, as he walked up the stairs.
He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to think. He didn't know how he felt.
When he came into the living room, Yamada was already lost in his thoughts about Chinen. And now that he came out of the living room, he felt even more lost, and also confused.
He had this feeling of hurt inside his chest.. but he didn't know why. And he didn't know why it kept growing bigger, as he remembered Chinen with Yuma, and Yuto's story..
Part Three: The Answer
What the hell is this guy doing now? When Yamada opened the door to enter his bedroom, he was met with a rather energetic Chinen, who was - again - just smiling like an idiot.
"It's past eleven, Chibinen. Go to sleep." Yamada ordered with his stern tone, that only seemed to be heard when with Chinen.
"Ahh~ Yama-chan!~" The younger one turned to face the one in the doorway.
"..Hah?" Yamada couldn't believe what he just heard. After blinking twice, eyes wide, he continued to be schocked. "..Did you just call me.. 'Yama-chan'..?!" When the hell did this Chibinen start calling me this?!
"Uhn!~ Konbanwa-su!!~" The younger kept his super-happy attitude, and he grinned even more.
This was suppose to make Yamada really annoyed, but somehow, apart from that, he also felt his heartbeat grow louder. Kusso..! What's wrong with me?! Isn't that stupid smile of his suppose to be the one that irritates me the most?! So why? Why can I feel my face get hotter by the minute? And why.. is that weird feeling back again..? ..Argh! I can't look at him now!
He quickly shifted his head to his right, and hurriedly closed the door behind him.
Once again, Yamada attemted to get rid of those 'disturbing' thoughts, and walked over to his bed, trying to cool himself down.
Just by the corner of the end of his bed, there was his desk, which Chinen was, writing on a thick notebook. And of course, still grinning too much.
Yamada just rolled his eyes, and thought he should tease the one. He laughed his laugh that always annoyed Chinen, before speaking, "Is that your diary?!"
He carried on snickering, knowing that his plan had worked successfully. But he was surprised once more, as the other turned around, with an excited expression. "Yep!~"
Yamada could hear the beating of his heart again, cheeks going red. What the hell? This attitude of his is suppose to annoy me, but why do I keep feeling the opposite instead?! Is there something wrong with me?! And how come my laughing and teasing didn't get to him at all?! It ALWAYS works!! Argh!! This is making me go crazy..!!
He was suddenly disconnected from his thoughts, as Chinen's voice came again. "And guess what I'm writing about? My day with Yuma-kun!!"
Without a warning, Yamada automatically sensed his chest in pain.
"I had so much fun today!! I was with Yuma-kun ne~ And we went almost everywhere together!! We went to the shops, the closest theme park, walked along the beach, and he found a restaurant that only served gyoza and took me there! He paid for the food, the ride, everything!!.."
Chinen's sentences raided Yamada's mind, like how an army would, wanting to take over land. He didn't want those words to come inside his head, but they just unknowlingly slipped in. He wasn't prepared to hear all of this. And it just made him feel.. worse.. His chest became too heavy, like an elephant had just landed it's feet on it. His heart gradually sank, deeper.. and deeper..
I can't take this anymore.
Not being noticed by Chinen, Yamada hurriedly made his way to the door and out of his bedroom. Leaving the other one with his on-going blabbering.
That Chibinen.. I can never understand how I feel when I'm with him. One second he makes me feel angry and annoyed, then the next confused and annoyed. Urgh. That guy is seriously getting on my nerves.
Yamada made his way to the terrace, the only one that the JUMP house had. He always goes there when he needs some time for himself, some time to think about 'stuff', and refresh his mind. He hadn't been there in a long time, but he knew that he needed to be at that place, now.
He's like, so happy.. I mean, that grinning and giggling randomly.. I've never seen him like that before. And wasn't he so mad and infruriated with me when I.. did that to him, the night of Aiba-senpai's birthday, when we were out in the back of the Jimushou..? What happened to his fury he felt against me? Those death glares he gave me? He completely forgot about that.. didn't he? Yamada rolled his eyes. That guy's such an idiot. Just seeing and being able to be with that 'Yuma-kun' again, made him get all hypered up, and just forget about everything else. And, I mean, didn't Chibinen get 'hurt' by him, anyway? And that thing he said about just remembering Yuma as a bestfriend, and when he comes back, act like they were just that. Isn't that a bit.. stupid? I mean.. he seriously sounded like he got hurt, and suffered so much, so wouldn't being by that Yuma, like nothing ever happened between them those five years ago, make him be in pain even more?
Yamada shook his head. I'm thinking way too much into this. It's not even my problem.
He took a deep breath then let it out, slowly. His hands placed on the railing of the terrace, as he closed his eyes, aswell. When he opened his eyelids he was met with the shining moon, it's reflection shimmering in the water it overlooked. The beach.
Ahh.. I missed being here. He inhaled the fresh air, feeling the breeze brush through his body, like it blew to calm him down.
Unfortunately for Yamada's wishes, that light wind of air wasn't good enough to make him stop thinking about the other.
But.. Why does seeing him with that Yuma.. Seeing him have his hands wrapped around his arm.. Seeing them so close.. and hugging each other.. even just hearing him talk about what they did together.. Why does it make me feel.. uncomfortable? Like my chest's being pressed and pushed down with a heavy load.. making it hard to breath. Like my heart's being squeezed.. twisted.. Why?
He chuckled, annoyed and in disbelief. Huh.. all I ever seem to ask myself these days are 'why'.
"You look so troubled," Suddenly, Yamada heard someone's voice beside him. When he turned to his left, his eyes could just about see Yuto's face, as it shone under the moon's ray. "It's Chii, right."
The fact that Yuto didn't make that a question, and instead an account, also with a simple tone, made Yamada burst out in shock of how he guessed right, and why he was there in the first place. "Yuto?! Wh-What are you doing here?!"
Clearly unable to keep his cool, Yamada stood still and tense, as the other just ignored his question, and carried on saying what he wanted. "I know you like him."
I.. I.. WHAT?! The older was still in his state of shock, and had a hard time believing the fact.
"I know you love Chii, Yamada." For the first time of that encounter, Yuto turned his face to the side, and looked up into the eyes of the other. "You know that too.. right?"
Now that was a question.
Yuto's expression was simple and plain. All the more that Yamada got confused.
It just came too fast.. the answer. He very well knew that it was the answer he was looking for. The answer to his indescribable feelings.. His mixed emotions.. All for that one person.
Yamada knew all this, but his mind just couldn't accept it yet. Even though his heart was yelling out to him.. telling him that that was the reason why it kept beating faster and harder than normal.
Yamada needed at least a few more minutes before he could finally admit to this. He looked back, over to the flowing ocean, then put on a smile in defeat. "How did you find out?"
"..I'm quite jealous that you actually made a move already," Once again, Yuto didn't answer the other's question. He just carried on staring blankly at the moon, as he spoke the ending to his sentence. "Even though you weren't really sure yet of how you felt for him then.."
Yamada looked back at Yuto, scrunching his eyebrows a little, in confusion. Move? What 'move'? He couldn't help but think that him and Chinen were seen, that night when they were behind the Jimushou.
The older started to feel the nervousness and slight embarassment inside him, but still, somehow, managed to hear Yuto's further words.
"But now that you do know you're feelings for Chii.. make sure that you won't let his heart belong to someone else.." Don't be like me. Only taking action in the last minute.
Yamada understood that it was Yuma who Yuto was referring to. And just as quick as he listened to it, Yamada knew Yuto was right.
"You'll feel that unbearable pain.. Seeing the one you love, suffer so much." The younger got up from the bench he sat down on, not meeting Yamada's eyes, it's gaze on Yuto, as he made his way back into the JUMP house.
"Trust me. I've expreinced it twice now." He continued, voice simple, but deep. "That time with Chii. And that time with.."
Yuto was already too far away for Yamada to hear the rest of his sentence.
The older couldn't help but want to figure out who the other one was, that Yuto felt that type of pain to. But he didn't - couldn't - think further about it, and instead, his mind kept focus on something his heart thought was more important.
So that's the reason why I started to act like this.. Feeling angry when I hear or see him with that Yuma.. Then get annoyed with him, when it's really me who I should be annoyed at, because at that time I didn't know why it hurt.. inside.. seeing him be so happy.. with this other person..
But, now I know why. It was all because.. I love that Chibinen..
Chapter End
[ Next Chapter: Two New People]
~*~
hmm.. I hope this is good enough for you guys to enjoy! and i'm sorry if i disappointed you in making Yuma sound so mean.. it just needed to be written like that ne.. ahhh :( i feel like this just made Your Music not worth reading anymore.. :(
Ahh~ I finally got to post part three.! >.< Gomen for making you guys wait so long! I just became busy.. DX hope you guys understand and hope you enjoy part three ne!~ C: Please comment & tell me what you think, so next time I'll know where to improve (: thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!!~ ^-^
Type: Multi-chapter
Author: Me ^~^
Fandom: Hey!Say!JUMP
Pairing(s): main - YamaChii (Yamada Ryosuke & Chinen Yuri), ChiiTaro (Chinen Yuri & Morimoto Ryutaro), MoriJima (Morimoto Ryutaro & Nakajima Yuto), YumaChii (Chinen Yuri & Nakayama Yuma), slight - NakaKen (Nakayama Yuma & Nakajima Kento), hints of pairings from other Johnny's groups
Genre(s): Romance, friendship, love triangles, hint of drama, angst in some chapters
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own them ..but they own my heart ^-^
Summary: Yamada has been acting weirdly towards Chinen lately, and Chinen is borthered. More unexplainable things start to happen when Chinen moves into Yamada's room, and Ryutaro moves into Yuto's room. Complications start to arise when each one start to realize their true feelings, and are faced with rivals to fight for their love.
Notes: I just realized I suck at writing summaries.. DX haha!! sorry about that. This is my first multi-chapter fanfic, so I'm sorry if it's bad, and if it doesn't suit your likings. Again, I'm not so confident about this, because I think I wrote it making the story too slow. I'm sorry! I tried the best I can! Hope you still enjoy reading, though!! >~<
Notes for this chappie: Minna!! I'm really sorry for always updating late!! *bows down and asks for forgiveness* m(__)m uhm.. about this chapter.. I think it's confusing.. haha! gomen ne.. :( and I think part two is sad aswell.. I'm also not sure if you'll like it.. haaahhh i'm not confident again >.< but as usual, I'm still hoping that you'll enjoy this!! from the bottom of my heart! >v<
Warnings: mean Yuma!!(?) and characters starting to dislike him
Updated Part 3!!~ C:
[Previous Chapters: Chapter One: Unbelievable | Chapter Two: No One Knows Anything | Chapter Three: Tell Me | Chapter Four: Christmas Emotions | Chapter Five: Reacting Without Thinking]
Your Music
Chapter Six: The Past
Part One: He Annoys Me
..Ahh.. I really don't know what to think anymore. It was the morning after that night when Johnny announced that there will be another group which he'll have to be in, with B.I. Shadow, Chinen, and.. Yuma.
That alone, was already too much for Yamada to handle, but what had added to his uneasy feeling was the situation after they left Johnny's building last night.
The night before
After the man had finished with all that he had to say to the boys, he dismissed them. While saying that all the members of NYC Boys will meet up soon, he waved to the three walking out of his office.
Yamada found it admittingly disturbing that Chinen and Yuma won't stop their chatting, as they made their way to the building's entrance again. He made it look like he didn't care, but he knew that it was annoying him inside.
I'm here too, you know. He rolled his eyes, and decided he'd just forget that he was walking with them, then planned to walk over to their side so he can go infront of them.
But just when there was one more step left, until he took over the two, Yamada's eyes moved on it's own and caught a sight of Chinen he's never seen before.
It's the first time I've seen him smile like that.. Yamada didn't notice his quick glance turn into a long stare, as Chinen continued his talk with Yuma.
This time, normally Chinen wouldn't really just ignore Yamada and leave him out of all the conversations. He wasn't that rude. But it was obviously different if he was with Yuma.
So.. If you're with me, you become real angry and annoyed, but when you're with.. this guy, you're all happy and act all cutesy?! Yamada suddenly became irritated by this. And.. you act as if I'm not here.. Like, the world only revolves around the two of you.. Like, you're both in your own 'dreamland'.. Like, I don't exist..
Yamada then stopped and stood still, - stiff - in his footsteps. It was as if the floor hurriedly turned to ice, and froze his feet before he could take another step forward.
Why.. do I seem so bothered..? He couldn't find an answer to this question, however hard he thought. And it was his own aswell, so shouldn't he know how to reply to that question?
Yamada kept his gaze on the one in his mind, wanting to figure out why he was really happy. What's so important about that 'Yuma-kun' anyway? He immediately shook his head, thinking that it didn't matter to him. Why would I care? It's not my business.
Even though he had already concluded this, Yamada still had that weird, nagging feeling inside him, tugging on his heart. That feeling became more uncomfortable as he scanned down Chinen's right side and noticed his hand was clinging onto Yuma's arm.
He still couldn't move from that spot he was frozen to, and before Yamada knew it, he had clenched both his fists as he saw Yuma and Chinen hug each other before their goodbyes.
Morning after
What was that? That feeling inside me.. what was it? No matter how hard he tried to stop thinking about what happened last night, Yamada still couldn't get it out of his mind. It just kept swarming around his thoughts, over and over. And when we got back to the JUMP house, that annoying smile of his never faded. We didn't even argue or anything, because he was too busy giggling to himself.
Yamada was now walking aimlessly around the house. His brain had been too occupied about the recent situations, that he only realized his feet had led him into the living room when Takaki called out to him. "Yo, Yamada! Stop walking before you hit the-!"
His warning was too late, as everyone saw Yamada bang his head on the big standing lamp. "..Ow." He said simply, rubbing his forehead slightly.
After a few seconds, he finally came back to his senses. That's probably what I needed. He made his way over to the couch, and it was only then that he heard the other's laughter.
"You-Head-Hit the-Lamp!!" Takaki managed between his loud laughs.
Yamada just looked at him, not really bothered to utter a response to his childish act.
He surveyed around the room, and saw that Yabu, Hikaru, Daiki, and Yuto were all there, just either sitting on the other couches, or on the floor.
"What happened to you, Yama-chan? It's like you've been mummified. You had no idea where you were going, did you?" Yabu asked, still slightly chuckling, at seeing the dazed Yamada, which no one usually sees everyday. Not even every week.
"Oh, uhm.." He wasn't the type to lie, and he thought that there was no point in hiding that from the others anyway. So he carried on with his sentence, in his normal tone. "I've just been thinking about what Johnny-san said last night."
This caught everyone else's attention even more, and all their eyes turned to Yamada's direction. "Why? What did he say?"
Clearly, Johnny hadn't informed JUMP yet about the new group. This surprised Yamada a bit, since the man should've told them at least by mail messages, or a phone call. But it looked like he hadn't, so Yamada explained. "Well, he told me and Chinen that we'd be in another group, like a side group to JUMP."
"What?! What do you mean?! Who with?!" The giggling from everyone had completely ended, even Takaki's, and they became serious.
"With the Junior group, B.I. Shadow, and with this guy, who I only met last night." Yamada still kept his voice steady.
"W-What?! Wait.. I'm seriously confused right now.." Daiki stated.
"So, you're saying that Johnny-san wants to debut B.I. Shadow.. with you, and Chii.. and this new guy?" Hikaru thought aloud.
"Okay.. I get what the old man wants, but.. who's the guy?" Takaki asked, his one eyebrow raised.
God, do I have to talk about him now..?! Yamada had no intention of speaking about that guy, but he guessed that he'd have to. Trying not to sound too annoyed, he began explaning more. "Well.. he's not really new. I remembered Johnny-san saying that he just came back from America, and also Chibinen said that he's been there for five years.." Yamada couldn't help but wince, as he recalled the scene when Chinen ran and hugged Yuma for that long moment, as he just stood outside Johnny's office. That weird feeling came back, and was present in his chest once more. He cringed slightly, but Yamada ignored it as quick as the next second ticked by. He didn't want to be in that state of trance again, where he thought his mind would die out from all the thinking, but still clueless of what he really felt.
"Wait.. Are you talking about.. Yuma..?!" Yuto's voice came high and shocked. Everyone now turned their eyes on him, including Yamada, who could just stare in reply. "That.. Nakayama Yuma?!"
Yamada became curious of how Yuto suddenly reacted. "Yeah.. Why do you seem so worked up about him?"
Right after he heard 'Yeah', everyone noticed Yuto's expression turn into an angered one, as he spoke with a deep, serious voice. "I hate him."
Part Two: Their Bleak Childhood
"What?!" The five asked, all at the same time.
Yamada did know that Yuto's answer would surprise him, but he never would've thought that it was something as strong as hate, that it made him even more surprised.
He kept still though, just sitting on the couch, as everyone else shoved their questions at Yuto. For some reason he couldn't bring himself to ask on his own.
"You hate him? Why?!" No one expected Yuto to have a person who he actually loathed, and now the four were huddled around him.
"How did you get to know him?"
"What happened?"
"How come we don't know about this?"
"I hate him because of what he did to Chii." That sentence was what it took for all of the guys to shut their mouths. At least for a few seconds.
"Okay.. What?"
"Now, I'm really really confused."
Yuto still had that angered expression and his voice's tone remained deep and serious. But you could also sense the fury within. "I'll never forget what he did to Chii. And I'll always hate him for that."
There was silence in the living room.
The five thought that what happened must've been grave. And it seemed that it had a really big impact on Yuto.
The atmosphere was growing dense, as a couple of minutes passed by, without no one uttering a word.
Sooner or later, someone would have to break that deafening muteness, and the eagerness of wanting to know the reason for all that, overtook them. There were still a few moments until, finally there was sound.
"Can.. you tell us what happened..?" Daiki's voice was heard, soft and gentle as he possible could've made it. He knew that in these type of situations, you had to take it delicately and that you should be careful of how you say things, so he tried his best to do exactly that.
Everyone kind of counted on him too. Since they couldn't really open their mouths yet and ask.
They really wanted to know.. because they were concerned. All of them.
Yuto didn't have anything against telling them what happened, but he was just unsure if he could talk about it.
He thought for a while, and however he comtemplated on how to go about this, his answers ended with wanting to tell the others, anyway.
Yuto closed his eyes then took a deep breath.
He looked at the guys, eyes already displaying their worrisome, "It happened before he left. Those five years ago.." The five saw Yuto's pained expression, as he began to reveal their hidden past. And planned to stay quiet all the way through it.
"You guys know that me and Chii were childhood friends right? We've known each other since we were kids, since we were two actually. Because our families were close, and we lived near each other, also.
Well.. I wasn't actually the only one who was that close to Chii.
We've gone to the same schools, and nurseries and all, so I was with him all the time. We were the best of friends and we were so close.. until, he came. Yuma.
I think we were eight by then, when he transferred to our school. He seemed to get along with everyone quickly, but me and Chii made him our new bestfriend.
It was great. I loved those times. Hanging around with my two most close friends. All the things that me and Chii did, we did it with Yuma too. Like when we buy an icecream, we would only get one, then we'd take turns licking it. And like, building sandcastles together, in the sandbox in the park. And like, always going out to play down the river bank. It was the place Chii and I discovered, while we were just randomly walking about the neighbourhood. No one else new about it, and no one else came there, except for the two of us. But when Yuma became our bestfriend, we took him there too.
We were all so close. No one could ever split us three apart. Wherever we went, whatever we did, we were all together.
But something happened..
Three years passed, and yeah, it was our first year of being a Johnny's Junior. We were so happy that all three of us got in.
Anyway, I noticed something.. change in Chii. Whenever we went out, he started acting differently towards Yuma. I began to wonder what was happening, and observed more of his actions and reactions when he was with Yuma.
When I saw him blush, and become nervous at Yuma's usual words, I couldn't help but think that Chii was starting to see him more than just a 'bestfriend'. So.. I asked him.
I asked Chii how he really felt about Yuma, then that's when he said it..
I knew he was telling the truth because Chii doesn't lie to me, and I don't lie to him.
..He said that he'd started to like Yuma. More than a friend, a close bestfriend.. Chii loved Yuma.
I wasn't angry, or disappointed. Infact, I was actually happy hearing that. I cheered him on, and even tried to leave them alone sometimes, when we were together. Making up lame excuses that I'd have to walk my dog or something. Even though both of them knew I didn't have a dog..
A few weeks after Chii and Yuma started to spend more time together, without me, Chii told me the good news.
I was just in the living room of my house, watching TV like I normally do in the evening, when suddenly I heard the door open with a bang. Then Chii came into the living, red puffy cheeks, and trembling with happiness. I walked over to him, grinning at his appearance, and asked him what happened.
"Y-Y-Y-Yuma-kun said he l-l-l-loves me too..!" When Chii said that, his face grew redder, and he just looked too cute, the I couldn't stop my laughter. "And he.. he.. k-k-k-kissed me too..!" That sentence caused me to stop my chuckling. I was happy, sure. But, you know.. I was shocked too..
That night Chii ended up sleeping over my house, and I don't think I actually got to sleep, because he wouldn't stop talking about him and Yuma. Although, I kind of didn't care if I lacked sleep, because I was happy that Chii was loved back by the one he loves.
The next morning, we had to go to the JE building, and you know, do what Juniors do.
Normally we'd meet Yuma by the corner of the street, near our houses, before we'd all go to the Jimushou together. So me and Chii waited for him.. but half an hour passed and there was still no sign of him.
We were worried, but Chii said that we should just go on without him. He said that Yuma might be too shy to face him so soon, and that when we get to the Jimushou he'd be there. It was a pretty believable reason to me, and so I started to follow him to the direction of the building, seeing his cheeks coloured red, once again.
When we got to the Jimushou though, there was still no Yuma. I could see the uneasiness in Chii's eyes, and thought that we should go directly to Johnny-san's, to ask if he knew where Yuma was.
Chii agreed, and when we got to his office, Johnny-san was startled. "He's gone now, boys." Both me and Chii had no idea what he was talking about. And before I could ask for him to clarify, Chii suddenly burst.
"What?! What do you mean?! Where's Yuma-kun?!" His calm attitude completely changed into a really impatient, worried one.
"He's gone to America, boys. His flight was this morning, at six. Wait.. hasn't he told you about this?"
At that exact moment I heard a hard thump against the floor. Chii fell heavily on his knees, floods of tears gushing from his eyes. I quickly ran down beside him, trying to shake him out of it. That spaced out, blank, and still look of his, while crying, really scared me.
I really had no idea of what to do at that time. It all happened so quickly.. Chii was hurt. Hurt so much that he refused to eat for those long days. Hurt so much that he wouldn't talk to anyone, even his family or me. He just stayed in his room, locked himself in, all alone..
At that time, I hated Yuma so much that..!" Yuto's fist slammed on the table, and the guys jumped with shock. He shook his head and didn't continue with that sentence. "..Yuma was Chii's first love. That kiss he gave him was his first kiss also.. And, I mean.. tell Chii that he loves him, and kiss him the night before he moves to America.. Then the next day, having Chii only informed of his moving by Johnny-san and not by Yuma himself.. He didn't even mention anything about America.. One day we're all happy and Chii's wishes finally comes true, and the next we're all sad and he leaves us.. leaving Chii heartbroken.. not telling us he'd be moving.." Yuto quickly turned his head to the side, fighting the tears that blurred his sight, from rolling down his cheeks.
"I hate Yuma."
Everyone kept still. No one managed to speak out a word. They were speechless, stunned, that they couldn't move.
After at least a few minutes, Yuto had faced the five again. Sniffed once, before he carried on.
"Chii started to eat only a bit, in the next week. But he still stayed in his room. I was there in their house everyday. I was so worried about him.. yet I couldn't do anything for him.. I'm his bestfriend.. and I was the only one who could probably make him happy again.. but I couldn't do anything. All I did was just come over, and stand infront of his room. How pathetic!
At night, I could just hear him sobbing. There was no way that he could've possibly slept properly, those nights.
You know, he was only eleven.. that's one more reason why it hurt him so much.
First love, first kiss, with the person he held close in his heart.. gone in the blink of an eye.
He was so young, yet he already felt that type of suffering.
Then one day, the door to his room opened and he came out. I rushed over to him, and hugged him as tight as I could, not caring if I was squeezing him too hard.
When I pulled away.. he smiled. "Yuu, I decided that I'll just forget about me ever loving Yuma-kun.. and him ever loving me back. I'll forget about the feelings I have for him, but I'll still remember that he's our bestfriend. I'll just patiently wait for him to come back here.. and not expect more than us returning to be our usual close, happy friendship." Chii said that but the pain and hurt was still visible in his eyes.
I didn't do anything, though. Chii already made his mind up, and he was determined. Plus, I thought it would be for the best. I didn't want him to suffer any longer.
I was glad that Chii made that decision, but I actually never wanted to see Yuma again.
I hate him for ever causing so much grieve and sorrow to my bestfriend.
The day after that, Chii changed. He changed completely.
He was more lively, and energetic. And he kept smiling and being happy.
It hurt me to see the changed Chii. You know why? Because I knew he was forcing himself. Forcing to show that smile.. that false happiness. He did it for the people around him though.. Because he didn't want us to worry. He wanted to prove that he had entirely erased those sad memories of Yuma, to reassure us that he was really okay.
He was trying so hard.. he never spoke of Yuma again either. It was only occasionally that he'd wonder how he was doing over in America and things like that.
Chii's still acting like this, even now. All these years, displaying his changed personality to the new people he met.. you guys. Although he might've gotten used to it by now.. it doesn't change the fact that he turned into a different person because of that Yuma.
There's propbably still that hole in his heart, you know. And by acting like this he wanted to close it up. But I'm sure that even he knows it wasn't going to work. This didn't keep him from acting like that though.
..So, I've told you why I hate Yuma, and also about our past. But I just want to say.. I don't want you guys to act as if you ever knew about all of this. It would make things worse. It's been so long that I've ever talked about this, and if you start acting differently now, it will just be awkward for all of us."
There was no reply. The others needed time to take all of it in.
Slowly their mouths started to open, finally able to utter a word. "Y-Yeah.. Don't worry. We won't." That was the only reply Yuto got. The guys were still too shocked, and they couldn't properly convey their thoughts out loud. There were too many feelings of sadness they felt for Chii and Yuto.. It was difficult for them to voice it out.
Suddenly, the sound of foot thumping against the carpet broke the stillness. Yuto looked to his side, then saw Yamada get up from the couch and head outside of the living room. "Yamada, where are you going? You won't act different right?"
"I won't." The answer came simply.
"Then promise me that you'll keep an eye on Chii, when he's around Yuma. I'm afraid of what'll happen, now that he came back."
Yamda could only lighty wave his hand, as he walked up the stairs.
He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to think. He didn't know how he felt.
When he came into the living room, Yamada was already lost in his thoughts about Chinen. And now that he came out of the living room, he felt even more lost, and also confused.
He had this feeling of hurt inside his chest.. but he didn't know why. And he didn't know why it kept growing bigger, as he remembered Chinen with Yuma, and Yuto's story..
Part Three: The Answer
What the hell is this guy doing now? When Yamada opened the door to enter his bedroom, he was met with a rather energetic Chinen, who was - again - just smiling like an idiot.
"It's past eleven, Chibinen. Go to sleep." Yamada ordered with his stern tone, that only seemed to be heard when with Chinen.
"Ahh~ Yama-chan!~" The younger one turned to face the one in the doorway.
"..Hah?" Yamada couldn't believe what he just heard. After blinking twice, eyes wide, he continued to be schocked. "..Did you just call me.. 'Yama-chan'..?!" When the hell did this Chibinen start calling me this?!
"Uhn!~ Konbanwa-su!!~" The younger kept his super-happy attitude, and he grinned even more.
This was suppose to make Yamada really annoyed, but somehow, apart from that, he also felt his heartbeat grow louder. Kusso..! What's wrong with me?! Isn't that stupid smile of his suppose to be the one that irritates me the most?! So why? Why can I feel my face get hotter by the minute? And why.. is that weird feeling back again..? ..Argh! I can't look at him now!
He quickly shifted his head to his right, and hurriedly closed the door behind him.
Once again, Yamada attemted to get rid of those 'disturbing' thoughts, and walked over to his bed, trying to cool himself down.
Just by the corner of the end of his bed, there was his desk, which Chinen was, writing on a thick notebook. And of course, still grinning too much.
Yamada just rolled his eyes, and thought he should tease the one. He laughed his laugh that always annoyed Chinen, before speaking, "Is that your diary?!"
He carried on snickering, knowing that his plan had worked successfully. But he was surprised once more, as the other turned around, with an excited expression. "Yep!~"
Yamada could hear the beating of his heart again, cheeks going red. What the hell? This attitude of his is suppose to annoy me, but why do I keep feeling the opposite instead?! Is there something wrong with me?! And how come my laughing and teasing didn't get to him at all?! It ALWAYS works!! Argh!! This is making me go crazy..!!
He was suddenly disconnected from his thoughts, as Chinen's voice came again. "And guess what I'm writing about? My day with Yuma-kun!!"
Without a warning, Yamada automatically sensed his chest in pain.
"I had so much fun today!! I was with Yuma-kun ne~ And we went almost everywhere together!! We went to the shops, the closest theme park, walked along the beach, and he found a restaurant that only served gyoza and took me there! He paid for the food, the ride, everything!!.."
Chinen's sentences raided Yamada's mind, like how an army would, wanting to take over land. He didn't want those words to come inside his head, but they just unknowlingly slipped in. He wasn't prepared to hear all of this. And it just made him feel.. worse.. His chest became too heavy, like an elephant had just landed it's feet on it. His heart gradually sank, deeper.. and deeper..
I can't take this anymore.
Not being noticed by Chinen, Yamada hurriedly made his way to the door and out of his bedroom. Leaving the other one with his on-going blabbering.
That Chibinen.. I can never understand how I feel when I'm with him. One second he makes me feel angry and annoyed, then the next confused and annoyed. Urgh. That guy is seriously getting on my nerves.
Yamada made his way to the terrace, the only one that the JUMP house had. He always goes there when he needs some time for himself, some time to think about 'stuff', and refresh his mind. He hadn't been there in a long time, but he knew that he needed to be at that place, now.
He's like, so happy.. I mean, that grinning and giggling randomly.. I've never seen him like that before. And wasn't he so mad and infruriated with me when I.. did that to him, the night of Aiba-senpai's birthday, when we were out in the back of the Jimushou..? What happened to his fury he felt against me? Those death glares he gave me? He completely forgot about that.. didn't he? Yamada rolled his eyes. That guy's such an idiot. Just seeing and being able to be with that 'Yuma-kun' again, made him get all hypered up, and just forget about everything else. And, I mean, didn't Chibinen get 'hurt' by him, anyway? And that thing he said about just remembering Yuma as a bestfriend, and when he comes back, act like they were just that. Isn't that a bit.. stupid? I mean.. he seriously sounded like he got hurt, and suffered so much, so wouldn't being by that Yuma, like nothing ever happened between them those five years ago, make him be in pain even more?
Yamada shook his head. I'm thinking way too much into this. It's not even my problem.
He took a deep breath then let it out, slowly. His hands placed on the railing of the terrace, as he closed his eyes, aswell. When he opened his eyelids he was met with the shining moon, it's reflection shimmering in the water it overlooked. The beach.
Ahh.. I missed being here. He inhaled the fresh air, feeling the breeze brush through his body, like it blew to calm him down.
Unfortunately for Yamada's wishes, that light wind of air wasn't good enough to make him stop thinking about the other.
But.. Why does seeing him with that Yuma.. Seeing him have his hands wrapped around his arm.. Seeing them so close.. and hugging each other.. even just hearing him talk about what they did together.. Why does it make me feel.. uncomfortable? Like my chest's being pressed and pushed down with a heavy load.. making it hard to breath. Like my heart's being squeezed.. twisted.. Why?
He chuckled, annoyed and in disbelief. Huh.. all I ever seem to ask myself these days are 'why'.
"You look so troubled," Suddenly, Yamada heard someone's voice beside him. When he turned to his left, his eyes could just about see Yuto's face, as it shone under the moon's ray. "It's Chii, right."
The fact that Yuto didn't make that a question, and instead an account, also with a simple tone, made Yamada burst out in shock of how he guessed right, and why he was there in the first place. "Yuto?! Wh-What are you doing here?!"
Clearly unable to keep his cool, Yamada stood still and tense, as the other just ignored his question, and carried on saying what he wanted. "I know you like him."
I.. I.. WHAT?! The older was still in his state of shock, and had a hard time believing the fact.
"I know you love Chii, Yamada." For the first time of that encounter, Yuto turned his face to the side, and looked up into the eyes of the other. "You know that too.. right?"
Now that was a question.
Yuto's expression was simple and plain. All the more that Yamada got confused.
It just came too fast.. the answer. He very well knew that it was the answer he was looking for. The answer to his indescribable feelings.. His mixed emotions.. All for that one person.
Yamada knew all this, but his mind just couldn't accept it yet. Even though his heart was yelling out to him.. telling him that that was the reason why it kept beating faster and harder than normal.
Yamada needed at least a few more minutes before he could finally admit to this. He looked back, over to the flowing ocean, then put on a smile in defeat. "How did you find out?"
"..I'm quite jealous that you actually made a move already," Once again, Yuto didn't answer the other's question. He just carried on staring blankly at the moon, as he spoke the ending to his sentence. "Even though you weren't really sure yet of how you felt for him then.."
Yamada looked back at Yuto, scrunching his eyebrows a little, in confusion. Move? What 'move'? He couldn't help but think that him and Chinen were seen, that night when they were behind the Jimushou.
The older started to feel the nervousness and slight embarassment inside him, but still, somehow, managed to hear Yuto's further words.
"But now that you do know you're feelings for Chii.. make sure that you won't let his heart belong to someone else.." Don't be like me. Only taking action in the last minute.
Yamada understood that it was Yuma who Yuto was referring to. And just as quick as he listened to it, Yamada knew Yuto was right.
"You'll feel that unbearable pain.. Seeing the one you love, suffer so much." The younger got up from the bench he sat down on, not meeting Yamada's eyes, it's gaze on Yuto, as he made his way back into the JUMP house.
"Trust me. I've expreinced it twice now." He continued, voice simple, but deep. "That time with Chii. And that time with.."
Yuto was already too far away for Yamada to hear the rest of his sentence.
The older couldn't help but want to figure out who the other one was, that Yuto felt that type of pain to. But he didn't - couldn't - think further about it, and instead, his mind kept focus on something his heart thought was more important.
So that's the reason why I started to act like this.. Feeling angry when I hear or see him with that Yuma.. Then get annoyed with him, when it's really me who I should be annoyed at, because at that time I didn't know why it hurt.. inside.. seeing him be so happy.. with this other person..
But, now I know why. It was all because.. I love that Chibinen..
Chapter End
[ Next Chapter: Two New People]
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hmm.. I hope this is good enough for you guys to enjoy! and i'm sorry if i disappointed you in making Yuma sound so mean.. it just needed to be written like that ne.. ahhh :( i feel like this just made Your Music not worth reading anymore.. :(
Ahh~ I finally got to post part three.! >.< Gomen for making you guys wait so long! I just became busy.. DX hope you guys understand and hope you enjoy part three ne!~ C: Please comment & tell me what you think, so next time I'll know where to improve (: thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!!~ ^-^